Chapter Twenty-Five
Abbott
“Abbott! Get up!”
I jolt up in bed at the sound of Rian’s voice in the dark. I was in a deep sleep, my head now foggy as I try to squint to see in the dark and sort through whether I imagined Rian’s voice or not.
The room brightens with the glow of the light, making my eyes burn, and there he is, coming through my bedroom doorway—hair messy, looking ragged, splatters of red on his white, button-up shirt.
“Are you hurt? What happened? You’re bleeding.” I scramble out of bed, head clear now. Once my brain clicks into emergency mode, I’m no longer tired and sluggish. I’ve needed to be able to do that in my career, and my body knows how to flip that switch by now.
He stills, looks down at himself—at the blood on his shirt, his bruised and swollen hands…and the dried blood there too. When our eyes meet again, I know what his are telling me.
That’s not his blood.
Rian isn’t hurt.
Rian hurt someone else.
“Oh, Rian. What did you do?” I ask, not moving close to him but not walking away either. He’s not here to hurt me. I don’t believe he will ever hurt me, if I’m being honest. Not unless I threatened Cillian’s safety. I don’t even believe he would hurt me for himself anymore.
Because he cares. Because in some way, even if it’s not the same way I feel, Rian does care about me.
“I did what I do. Pack some shit. You’re coming with me.” He moves toward my closet as if he owns the place, but then, he sneaks in freely too, so I don’t know why I act surprised.
“I’m fairly certain you don’t control me. You don’t get to break into my house in the middle of the night—bloody, I might add—and demand I leave with you.” Jesus, what the fuck is wrong with him?
He groans, changes directions, and walks into my en suite, turning on the faucets and scrubbing his hands.
Did he kill someone tonight or just hurt them?
Whoever it was, I know they aren’t someone completely innocent.
They live in the same violent world that Rian does, but two wrongs don’t make a right.
If we all walked around doing whatever we wanted just because other people did, this world would be even more fucked up than it is.
“I can’t go with you like this,” I say. “You need to talk to me.” I’ve never seen him like this, but then, there are a million situations I’ve never seen Rian in. Somehow, I still know him though…know that whatever this is, it’s important. More than that, I know he’s scared.
Is he on the run? Is someone else after him? There are too many possibilities.
He turns off the water and dries his hands.
I’m not sure he’s going to answer me, but then he’s stepping closer, not stopping until I can feel his breath when he speaks.
“I did what I do,” he says again. “We found the men we thought put a hit out on me. We strung them up. I beat them, tortured them. I made them bleed, and every time they passed out from the pain, I started over again. Is that what you want to hear?”
I flinch, because it really isn’t. “No, but I needed to hear it.” Pretending Rian is someone other than who he is won’t change anything. If I’m going to love this man, I should at least be able to not hide from who he is. “Why are you here?”
He draws back, just the slightest bit, so little that I’m not even sure if I saw it at first, but the way his eyes blank over, it’s impossible not to see the mask fall into place—the one that says he’s hurt and trying to hide it.
Still, my question is important. He can’t just come into my house making demands of me, certainly not after he just killed people.
“Toward the end, when we finally let them speak, they told me that word on the street is the hit wasn’t for me at all.”
“Then who…” My words trail off as it clicks into place that there had only been the two of us there that day. If they hadn’t been there for Rian, then… I laugh. “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Who would want me killed?”
I walk over and sit on the edge of my bed. It’s not until then that I remember I’m naked. That I’m so fucked in the head over this man that I’ve been sleeping naked in hopes he would come to me again and fuck me. How pathetic is that?
“You’re the governor’s son.”
“So? That doesn’t mean someone would put a hit out on me. What could they possibly gain from that?”
“I don’t know, but none of this ever really made sense.
Yes, I’d killed their brother, so they would want revenge, but usually people who actually plan to kill someone don’t go talking about it around town.
That’s what someone who is all talk does.
” Rian paces, then walks over to the window, separating two of the blinds and looking out.
“They were at the hospital, and sure, they could have followed me and sat there all night, but it just doesn’t make sense for them to have done it there.
They weren’t waiting anywhere near where I parked… they were in your row, Abbott.”
What he’s saying makes sense. Would they have waited all night for him when they didn’t know what time he would leave? Wouldn’t that draw attention? If they knew a rough estimate of how long I would be at the hospital, then they could have come right before I got off.
Knots tighten in my gut, but I try to ignore them. “Maybe they got lucky…or hell, maybe they just drove around at the right time. I don’t know, Rian, but there is no reason someone would plan to have me killed.”
He walks over and kneels in front of me, taking my face in the warm hands that just minutes ago had blood on them…they will always have blood on them, even when I don’t see it.
“You said you feel like someone has been watching you. When I was here the other night, that’s the first time I’ve come here. I haven’t followed you. I hadn’t been in your house until that night.”
My skin gets cold as ice. It can’t be… I’d felt someone watching me when I was running.
I’d felt it more than once.
“Conan?” I ask.
“Him either. He hasn’t come here at all. I warned him off you.”
“Someone had been in my house, Rian. I could tell when I got home. Things were moved, even just slightly. My drawers were messed up. I—”
“Christ. Why didn’t you tell me?” He pushes to his feet.
“Because I assumed it was you or your pack of willing killers! You’ve threatened me enough!”
He winces, then sits beside me. “My life would be a whole lot easier if I could hurt you.” He shakes his head. “But I can’t do it, and I’m sure as shit not going to let anyone else hurt you either.”
His words rip any response from my lungs. I know I should say something, but that’s about as far as my brain is able to go—at least right now. Rian just admitted that he doesn’t think he can hurt me…that he plans to protect me.
Rian reaches for me, cupping my face once more. I can’t stop myself from nuzzling into his palm, feeling like home. “You’re mine, pretty thing. There’s nothing I won’t do to protect you. Come on. Let’s pack some things.”
His. Rian says I’m his, and damned if I don’t want that more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my whole life.
“Where are we going?” Because clearly, I’m going to go with him.
Hell, I probably would have even before he’d been open with me and told me the truth.
I want to be with Rian, despite all the reasons I shouldn’t.
The loneliness I’ve felt all of my life is even heavier since I lost him, so heavy that I don’t know if I can keep carrying it…
and if he wants me, if I can be with him, and shed that hurt, I’m going to find a way to do it.
“To my house.” Rian doesn’t give me a chance to answer before he moves toward my closet again. He comes out with a suitcase just seconds later.
To his house. The one I know he raised his son in, the one he lived with his wife in. Rian is taking me there.
“Okay.” As far as answers go, it’s not the most intelligent response I’ve ever given, but it works.
I’m not sure what it is about this moment that makes the truth of everything he’s saying slam into me.
Someone tried to have me killed…?
If Rian hadn’t been there that morning, maybe they would have succeeded, and we never would have met.
There’s a wrongness in that, one I feel deep in my gut—like the world would be tilted off its axis—this thing that should be wrong, but feels like the rightest thing I’ve ever done.
Dizziness sweeps me up, making me unsteady on my feet, my thoughts wreaking havoc with my whole body.
Rian’s arms wrap around me, this dangerous man pulling me close.
“I’m fine,” I say, face feeling flush, whether from embarrassment, the emotions of the moment, or both, I’m not sure.
“I’ll take care of you, Abbott. I promise. I’ll protect you with my life. No one will hurt you.”
I smile, not doubting him for a second. I don’t understand why my feelings for him are so strong, so intense that it feels like nothing in my life would be right without him. “I know, but that’s not what I was thinking.”
“What, then?” he asks.
“How wrong it would have felt if they’d killed me that day because I never would have met you.”
His pupils flare, just before a curse falls from his lips, and his mouth sears mine in a hard, possessive kiss.
This is the second time I’ve been with this man after he’s hurt someone, and I don’t care. What is wrong with me that I don’t care?
Rian’s tongue pushes into my mouth. My arms encircle him, hands sliding up his strong back, our bodies pressed so close together—kissing hard and hungry one second, and the next, he jerks away.
“What?” I ask, trying to find the words to finish my question.
“I don’t want to touch you like this, not after what I did tonight. Not with the stench of their blood still on me.”
Shit. He’s right. I’d lost myself. Rian O’Shea makes me lose myself, and I would have thought I would hate that, but I don’t. I think part of me needs it.
“Yeah, yeah, okay. Let’s just get going. I feel…I don’t know. Uncomfortable here now.”
He nods. I quickly get dressed, gather clothes, toiletries, and a few personal items before we head to the door. I pull the suitcase behind me, as Rian tugs his gun out, making me falter.
“I don’t think anyone is out there, Doc. They’ve had plenty of chances to come back after you since you’ve been home. I’m not sure why they haven’t yet, but I’ll figure it out. The gun is just a precaution.”
He’s right. Why haven’t they tried to kill me again? Are they just…watching me? Are they watching us now?
I nod, trusting him to do the right thing. I’ve just never been super comfortable around guns, but I am comfortable around Rian.
“Walk right behind me. Stay close.”
“Hey,” I say, before he goes out the door. “Thank you…for coming for me…for wanting me.” The vulnerability in my words is impossible to miss. Rian turns to look at me, forehead creased in this way that says he’s trying to make sense of what I mean.
His features soften. He cups my cheek, brushing his thumb against the bone there. “I’ll always come for you, and I’ll always want you. You’ll never have to feel alone again, pretty thing. Not now that you’re mine.”
I nearly come apart at his words, want to pull him into my arms and show him how much I belong to him—that I’ve known it since the day he was supposed to kill me, maybe sooner, and that I’ll always be his, even if I lose him. But now isn’t the time, so I say, “You’re mine too.”
“That won’t change, either. Even if I don’t get to keep you.”
Warmth floods every inch of my body. I don’t care if it’s unhealthy, if I would judge anyone else for feeling the way I do—being wanted by Rian fills me up, makes me whole. I deserve that, to feel craved the way I do with him.
I’ve spent my life trying to take care of people, to do the right thing, to make up for who my father is and the fact that I allowed him to hurt her. But when it comes to Rian, I don’t care what’s right. I just want him.
“Do you promise?”
I swear I see fire ignite in his eyes—his intense stare, all possessive and powerful, is the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.
“I promise.”
Rian is as loyal and devoted as they come, and for whatever reason, it’s me he wants.
Gun in one hand, and my hand in the other, Rian leads me out of my house, into an uncertain future that I’m willing to dive headfirst into as long as he’ll have me.