Chapter Thirty-Nine
Abbott
It’s been a wild few days. Rian hasn’t been sleeping well, but then, that’s something he often struggles with. I’d seen it when we were at the cabin together, and it’s something we’ve talked about since we’ve been back in Boston.
Rian left early for work this morning—the first time since everything went down—and by work, I know he’s going to question and torture the man who had been with my father. Apparently, Conan had been able to get some information out of him, but Rian wanted a chance as well.
I’ve been a mess all day, but we have company at the house, so that’s helped.
Cillian and his friends came back down from Ashford to stay for a while.
While Tiernan and Dean stay with his mom at night, they’ve been here off and on.
Cillian, Ollie, Rory, and Shai have stayed here with us the whole time, and I have to say, they’re… interesting.
Cillian is a lot like his father. He’s a caretaker with Ollie, and hell, with Rory and Shai too. He’s steady and serious, but seems to know how to have fun too. The two of us have spoken a bit. I’d like to be close with him, but I’m also trying not to push too hard too fast.
Ollie is sweet. He’s not what I expected, despite Rian having told me that.
Rory is wild and rarely settles down, and is completely fixated on Shai.
I’ve never seen anything like the four of them—the way they move through the world together, how Cillian and Rory navigate life like a unit, but each being in love with someone else. It’s fascinating and beautiful.
Their whole family is.
I’m standing in the kitchen now, really just looking for something to do, when I hear a noise behind me and turn around to see Ollie. “Oh, hey. How are you doing?” he asks.
I sigh and close the fridge. There’s nothing I want in there, so I’m not sure why I’m looking. “I don’t know,” I answer honestly.
It’s been a lot—between finding out my father had my mom killed, tried to have me killed, and is a rapist, it’s hard to be okay.
He sits down at the table, and I join him. “I’m sorry. I can’t relate to what happened with your father, but the rest of it…I get it. I know it can be difficult…knowing they do the things they do.”
I let out a breath that I think I’ve been holding for days, maybe weeks. “It is but…I love him.” Is that a good excuse? Probably not, but I don’t care.
“And he loves you. They’re hard, our guys.
Violent and brutal, but no one will love you the way Rian will.
I know that because it’s how Cillian loves me.
They have the world’s biggest hearts, even if it’s only our family they share them with.
These men, they’ll do anything for each other and anything for us, in a way no one else would. We’re lucky.”
He smiles, and I can’t help but do the same thing. Getting romance and life advice from a twenty-year-old isn’t something I expected to happen in my life, but Ollie is beyond his years. There’s not a part of me that doesn’t believe him.
“Yes, we are.” I take a breath, unsure if I should ask my next question. “Cillian is okay? With me? He acts like it, but…I just don’t ever want to come between him and Rian.”
“He’s happy. I think this will be good for their relationship. It helped when Cillian met me, then when Shai came into our lives, and now with you here too. These guys…as brutal as they can be, they have a lot of love they need to give.”
I nod, tension I didn’t realize I still had releasing from my body. “Thanks, Ollie. I appreciate you talking to me.”
“Of course.” He reaches over and squeezes my hand. “We’re family.”
A noise comes from the other side of the room as Cillian, Shai, and Rory walk in.
“Hey, Step Daddy,” Rory says. He hasn’t stopped calling me that. Cillian and Rian roll their eyes every time he does it, but Rory feels similar to Finan to me in that no one really knows how to handle him.
“Hi, Rory,” I say.
“What are you and Bunny talking about?”
“How annoying you guys are to deal with,” Ollie lies.
“Well, I don’t believe that at all. At least not me. I’m the fucking best.” Rory grins.
Shai wraps his arms around him. “You’re something all right.”
“Dad is on his way home,” Cillian tells me. “He said to tell you we’re going to Fia’s tonight. She’s making an Irish roast dinner.”
“Fia is the best cook,” Rory says. “It’ll be worth it. I promise.”
I love the idea of a home-cooked meal, but I’m reeling some right now. The man has been torturing someone all day, and now we’re going to his ex-sister-in-law’s house for a family dinner? “Okay,” I say, a little overwhelmed.
“If you don’t want to go, it’s fine. Dad will do whatever you want,” Cillian says.
Okay, well, that makes it hard not to smile. “I want to go,” I answer, realizing I really do. I just want to feel normal tonight and try to forget all the bad shit that’s happened.
“Good. It’s good for him to get out,” Cillian says.
“I’ll remember that.”
A few minutes later, the house is filled with more voices as Rian, Conan, and Finan come in.
When Rian comes to me, reaching to cup my face, I can’t help but notice the bruises on his knuckles. It’s the only sign I notice that gives away any of what he was doing today. He said he wouldn’t come to me bloody the way he had the night with the Bellinis, and I believe he won’t.
“Hey.” Rian presses a soft kiss to my lips. “Are you okay?”
“Yes. Are you?”
“Yes. Come on. Let’s go upstairs.”
I nod and follow him up, Rian telling the others we’re going to get ready. It’s not until we’re in our room, door closed, that he asks, “Do you want to know anything?”
“Just what you learned.”
He sighs. “Not much. He won’t give up who your father was working with or for—I don’t even know. He’s scared of them, whoever they are. He’s not official government, which we already knew, and just like the others, he doesn’t have much official history.”
“Shit,” I say.
“Yeah, agreed. He did confirm he’d been watching you since you’ve been back, but he wasn’t the one who originally tried to kill you.
He said they’re dead, but again, wouldn’t tell me who made that order.
He doesn’t try to hide the things your father did and admits…
” He lets the words linger, trying to protect my feelings.
“That he’s a rapist?” I ask.
“Yeah. I’m so fucking sorry.”
“I am too.” Not surprised, but I’m sorry. “He wanted me dead because I’d asked him about the women?”
“That seems to be the case. They were trying to clean up his shit behind the scenes, then you started asking about it. I think he got paranoid. His approval ratings had already been slipping. No one expected him to win reelection, so I’m sure he didn’t want to risk anything coming out.”
“He used my mom’s death for political gain. Jesus, you should have seen the press conferences he gave afterward. He would have done the same with me.”
“I wish I could have killed him for you. And I promise you, we’ll keep trying. We’re keeping this guy alive for now.” He wraps his arms around me, pulling me close. “Fia would like us to go over for dinner. She wants to meet you, and I thought maybe you could use a night surrounded by family.”
Family. Because that’s what I have now, even if I don’t know any of these people well—or when it comes to Fia, at all.
“We don’t have to go.”
“No.” I shake my head. “I want to.”
“Good.”
We get ready, and then the group of us all head to Fia’s house. When we pull up, I see her standing on the porch—a woman with long, black hair and a wide smile.
“Abbott!” she says, meeting us in the driveway. There’s a girl there too, who I assume is her daughter, Aislin, holding hands with a Black woman with braids. “Oh my God. You’re so handsome!” Fia says, and I smile.
“Fia…” Rian grumbles, but the genuine love between them is palpable.
“Shut up, Rian. I’m busy meeting your boyfriend.”
“Hello. You’re kind of great,” I say to her.
“Thank you,” she replies, giving me a hug. “You must be too. I never thought it would be possible for Rian to give his heart away again. He’s a good man.”
“The best,” I reply.
“Come here,” Rian tells her, the two of them hugging before Rian kisses her temple.
Aislin introduces herself next, then her girlfriend, Zuri.
Dean and Tiernan are in the house when we arrive, Conan, Finan, Cillian, Ollie, Rory, and Shai having gone in as well.
The scent of savory meat, potatoes, and garlic fills the loud house, as everyone talks and laughs together.
I’m surprised when Flynn shows up soon too—and Torin, his wife, and their two children.
Everyone makes a point to speak with me, showing me respect because I’m Rian’s, but also, I think, just because that’s the kind of people they are.
At one point, I see Torin and Rian together, laughing about something, Torin wrapping his arm around Rian and pressing a loud kiss to his cheek. It’s wild to see them this way together after their argument the night I met him, but the true love between everyone in this family pulses in the air.
I’m not even sure family is a strong enough word. My father was my family, and he never loved the way they do.
We eat together at a long table, elbows touching, we’re so crowded in.
The food is delicious—the conversation never stops. Most of the time, I sit back and take it in.
When dinner is done, I pick up my plate as Finan says, “Rian. Darts. I’m going to kick your ass.”
Darts? I had no idea that’s something Rian plays.
He turns to me, and I nod toward his friend. “Go on. I’m good,” I say.
“You too, pretty thing. You’re playing.” Rian grins.
“Come on. The dishes aren’t going anywhere. I’ll get the mess later,” Fia tells me.
The younger group announces they’re going to get high, which is something else that’s new for me, as the rest of us head toward a room with a dartboard and a pool table.
“You play darts?” I ask Rian.
“I am very, very good at darts.” He pumps his brows.
“He’s all right,” Finan teases. “But I’m better. You gonna play with us, Doc?”
“I’m good. I’ll watch.”
“Nope. We don’t take no for an answer, you’re playing,” Finan tells me.
“What he said.” Flynn squeezes in behind me, playfully nudging me toward the others. When I make eye contact with Rian, he grins and winks at me.
“Okay, let’s do this.” I head over with Flynn as we set the order and start the game.
There’s not a part of me that’s surprised at how competitive they are, and it’s not long before I find that I am too. When I throw the dart, and it lands very close to a bullseye, Finan puts his hands on my shoulders and gives me a shake. “Fuck yes, Doc! You gotta beat your man.”
“Hey, fuck off, Fin.” Rian gives him the finger.
“Sorry, Boss. I like your boyfriend better.”
I’m surprised at the way they joke with Rian, but also not. From everything he’s told me, it was nothing like this when his brother was head of their family.
“I’m with Fin,” Torin adds and nudges me with his arm.
It’s hard to believe these men were torturing someone today, that they were doing things I never want to even think about to a man, trying to get information out of him. But now, here they are, joking and teasing with each other, giving piggyback rides, and playing with Torin’s kids.
It’s incredible.
“You’re all ridiculous,” Conan adds, but when we make eye contact, he gives me a small grin and a nod.
I’m a part of this. I’m a part of Rian’s family.
We play two games, neither of which I win, before I leave the group to continue while I help Fia clean up the mess.
We’re in the kitchen together, finishing loading the dishwasher, when she says, “Thank you.”
“No problem. I don’t mind helping out.”
“That’s not what I mean. Just…loving him.
Accepting him. I know it’s not always easy.
Rian has been through a lot. He’s had every chance to turn into the kind of man his father was…
that his brother had been, but he hasn’t, and he never will.
He’s the kind of man who needs someone to love, and I’m glad he has that. ”
“I’m the kind of man who needs someone to love too.” Though I never had before Rian.
“Good.” She smiles, and I do the same.
It’s late when we get back to the house. Cillian and the others will be heading back to Ashford tomorrow. Dean’s still been trying to see what else he can find on my father, but so far hasn’t had any luck.
Rian and I immediately strip each other out of our clothes, Rian using his mouth and tongue to worship every inch of my body until my hands are clenched in the blanket, and I’m coming deep in his throat.
He pushes up onto his knees, jerking off, before spurting his load all over my body, rubbing his cum into my skin the way I need.
“Are you happy?” Rian asks.
“Yes. Because of you.”
“My pretty thing,” he says, kissing me.
I have no doubts who this man is—that he’s violent, that he craves the sinful things in his life…but he craves me too…and he loves me. No matter what the future holds, in this situation we’re still dealing with or others that are to come, I’m going to be right by his side.