chapter 2
Mama wipes my face and nose. “He will be alright, baby. Didn’t Uncle Stan say that?”
I shake my head, sobbing. “Uncle Stan is a liar.”
He told me Zoan would become healthy. He said that in summer, and now it’s winter, but Zoan is still not okay.
Daddy comes inside my room. I run toward him. He picks me up and presses my face into his neck.
“What happened to my little pumpkin?” he asks, patting my back.
Between sobs, I tell him, “Daddy, Zoan is hurt. He was crying so loudly. Why is no one helping him? Give him the medicine you gave me when I fell from my bicycle.”
I lift my face to watch his face. He wipes my cheeks. “Do you remember the story I told you about a strong man fighting monsters?”
I nod.
He sits on my bed with me, beside Mama. I press my cheek against him.
Mama caresses my head. “Zoan is also fighting with monsters.”
“There are no monsters, Mama,” I tell her.
If there were monsters, I would have beaten them already.
“There are monsters inside his head, pumpkin. You and I can’t see them. Only he can see them,” Daddy says. “Zoan is very strong. He will kill the monsters, and then they will stop torturing him.”
I picture Zoan fighting ugly green monsters with a big laser sword that orbit hero in TV used to kill green space monsters.
“But Zoan is small. If Leo helps him, the monsters will lose soon,” I insist. Leo is big.
Daddy tucks me into bed and kisses my head. “It’s Zoan’s fight.”
He pats my head, making me sleepy. Slowly, I drift off into dreams of Zoan winning against the monsters.
I wake up from sleep when I hear Daddy talking with Mama. “I told you his condition will affect her,” he says.
I feel Mama’s kiss on my hand. “Zo needs us, Alexander.”
“I know, Muse, but I can’t see her crying every day. Can we send him to Stan’s hospital until his condition stabilises?”
Mama stays silent. Daddy moves from my side. I keep my eyes shut. I need to hear them. I can’t let them send Zoan away.
“Don’t be sad, baby. Stan will take good care of him.”
“But it’s still a hospital. Who is going to give him the love of a family? And didn’t Stan say himself that his recovery is faster here?”
Daddy speaks after a long pause.
“But it’s affecting Avi. It’s been six months, and we don’t know how many more it will take. She is too young to cry over someone’s pain. Do you even remember when was the last time we tucked her in with a smile on her face?”
I hear Mama sob. I don’t like it. I will never cry again.
“What do I do, Alexander? I don’t have the heart to watch her like this, nor the strength to send Zloban away.”
“Shhh. Okay, fine. We will find a way. Now stop crying.”
They get up from my bed. After kissing me, they walk out of my room. They will now go to Zoan’s room to tuck him in.
I get up from my bed and walk toward the door. I press my ear to it and wait for the sound of it closing.
It closes once near me, and then a second time far from me. I count to ten, then open the door, go out, and close it behind me.
I walk silently toward the room beside mine and enter, pushing open the unlocked door.
Zoan is not in his bed. He always leaves it once Mama and Daddy go to their room. He doesn’t like sleeping on beds.
I walk around and spot him. He is lying in the corner on the floor. I lay down beside him on a pillow. He doesn’t like pillows either, but I made him promise to use one in return for not telling Mama about him stealing food.
He opens his eyes. I shift closer to him and hug him. Even though he never hugs me back, I still love holding him.
“Mama and Daddy told me you are fighting with monsters that only you can see. Are the monsters ugly?”
I move away a little to see his answer. He doesn’t like speaking.
He nods his head.
“Are they powerful like space monsters?”
He shakes his head.
“I want to see them. Can I see them?”
He shakes his head again.
“Why?”
“She’s dead.”
“Is she a ghost?” I ask in fear. I’ve seen bad ghosts on TV who kill people. I don’t want anyone to kill Zoan.
He shakes his head.
“Then how is the monster hurting you if she is dead?”
“Because I’m weak.”
“But Daddy said you are strong.”
He goes silent, then asks after a long time, “Were you crying?”
I blink my eyes.
“Why did you come into my room when I was sleeping?”
He had told me not to come into his room while he slept in the evening. But if I don’t, he’ll cry in his sleep alone. He’ll have no one to hold him when he gets scared.
“You were crying in your sleep.” My eyes start hurting.
“I won’t cry.”
I smile and hug him again, closing my eyes.
I sleep in his room every night, but I always wake up in mine. Zoan does this. He nodded when I asked him, but he never told me why.
Zloban (9 years old)
After making her lie down on her bed, I cover her with her blanket and walk out of her room.
I put the pillow back on the bed and return to my corner. I sit down, leaning my back against the wall.
My sleep breaks when I hear the sound of the door opening. I sit up on the floor.
Mom comes inside, smiling. She sits beside me on the floor. “You slept on the floor again.”
I nod.
She caresses my head. “Did you see nightmares again?”
I shake my head.
I see nightmares every night, but I won’t tell these people that. I don’t want to fall deeper into their care. Because one day they will throw me out of their lives. I don’t want to get attached to them.
She smiles and runs her warm hand across my face. “That’s good.”
She gets up. “Now it’s time to get ready for school. Tell me what you want to wear today.”
I only started going to school last month. Since I never went to any school before, I had to begin from the Base class here, which is Avira’s class.
“Black.”
Black keeps the focus away from me.
“You don’t even touch the other colors in your wardrobe.” She picks out a black shirt and pants and lays them on the bed.
She comes back to me and pat on my head. “Now freshen up and get ready.”
I nod.
After getting ready for school, I walk into the dining room. Dad is already sitting there, but Mom and Avira haven’t come yet. I sit down on my chair, one seat away from Dad’s.
Dad looks up from his tablet.
“Good morning, Zloban.”
I nod and slide on the edge of the chair.
Mom and Avira come in. Avira runs straight to Dad. He picks her up and settles her on his lap.
She kisses his cheek. “Good morning, Daddy.”
He kisses both her cheeks and her head. “Good morning, my little pumpkin.”
Mom sits beside me and runs her hand through my hair. “My handsome son.”
She looks toward Dad. “I’m going to buy more black clothes for him. He looks so handsome in black.”
Avira jumps in Dad’s lap. “No, Mama! He already has many black clothes. Buy yellow for him.”
Mom laughs. “But he doesn’t like yellow.”
Avira puffs her cheeks. “Everyone likes yellow.” She looks up. “Right, Daddy?”
Dad smiles. “Daddy and his princess like yellow. Forget about the others.”
She grins. “See, Mama? Daddy also likes yellow.”
Mom chuckles.
Roman serves our breakfast.
Dad speaks after sometime. “I got a call from school this morning.”
Mom asks, “About what?”
He looks toward me. “Zloban can upgrade now.”
Mom looks at me with a proud smile. “So soon? It’s been only one month since he started.”
Dad puts another bite into Avira’s mouth and speaks. “Well, according to them, he is a genius.”
Mom grins wide.
Avira asks, “What is geius, Daddy?”
“Genius is someone who can understand big things easily. And your brother is a genius. Which means he will no longer study in your class.”
She looks up at him, then at Mom, then at me. She always watches everyone’s face when she doesn’t like the news.
“Then I will also not study in my class.”
Dad laughs. “Your teachers haven’t cleared you yet. So you will be staying in the same class.”
Her face starts turning red. That’s the first sign when she’s about to cry.
Mom bends toward her. “You have Wen with you, right?”
Her honey eyes water up. “But Zoan will have no one.”
Mom speaks quickly. “Ohhh, no no, baby. Zoan will have Leo with him.”
Her face brightens again. “Really?”
Mom nods.
Dad fills a spoon with porridge and presses it to her mouth. She takes it in. Then he looks at me.
“Leo will help you with the introduction. After that, you can move on with whatever you find interesting.”
I nod.
After breakfast, we walk outside the house, where the driver is waiting for us to take us to school.
We sit in the backseat. I roll down the window as soon as I close the door. Closed spaces make my skin crawl with unease.
“Will you miss me in your new class?” Avira asks.
I look toward her and nod.
Her face falls. “I will also miss you.”
“I will meet you at lunch,” I tell her, trying to make her feel better and stop her from start crying. Because once she starts, I don’t know how to make her stop.
Matleon and Elowen meet us at the school gate. They are Mom’s brother Alessio’s and Dad’s sister Persephone’s children. Matleon is one year older than me, and Elowen is seven months older than Avira. Elowen started school late so she could begin with Avira.
The two of them wave goodbye and walk toward their class together.
Matleon watches me with a side smile. “Dad said you’re some sort of genius.”
I nod.
He takes me upstairs, then down the hall. Unlike the ground floor, where all the kids are six years old or younger, this floor is full of teenagers. Their voices echo loudly in the corridor.
I hate noises.
I start rubbing my hand around my wrist.
I roll my shoulders inward, trying to shrink myself so these noisy people can’t see me.
Matleon places his hand around me. “Relax.”
He is one head taller than me. He is strong and brave as well.
“No one can touch you here. We are the kings.”
“I’m no king.”
“My dad said everyone can become a king if he wants. If you don’t want to, then it’s your choice.”
Can I also become a king?