chapter 4
Avira leans closer to me. “What is emotion nubing?”
I glance at her. “Emotional numbing.”
She nods seriously, then looks around before whispering, “I heard Daddy telling Mama that Uncle Stan said you are emotion nub. What is this?” Her voice grows louder without her realizing. “Are you not okay?” she asks, worried.
I gently hold her elbow and pull her to the side so she doesn’t bump into the children running around. “I’m fine. It’s nothing.”
She must have heard Mom and Dad talking in the car on our way to the amusement park. Before coming here, Dad had taken me to Uncle Stan’s hospital for session.
Her round face is half hidden under the bunny mask she’s wearing, but her lips are curled down. She’s not happy. I don’t like it when she’s not happy. Because she used to cry after seeing me cry in my sleep, I stopped sleeping in the evenings. When she cries, something inside my chest feels heavy.
Uncle Stan told Dad that my emotional numbing has been improving, but it’s taking time.
I’ve been reading about it in psychology books, and that’s helped me understand what’s wrong.
I don’t feel my own emotions, but I can understand other people’s.
But with Avira, I feel strange things. It’s like whatever she feels, I feel.
I raise my hand and pat her head. “I’m fine, Dove.”
I pull my hand back when I see Leo and Wen walking toward us.
Leo bumps his fist lightly against my shoulder. Avira instantly grabs my arm and glares at him. “He’s ill. Don’t hit him.”
Leo raises his brows and looks at me. “What happened to you?”
Avira answers before I can speak, her voice small and sad. “He has emotion nubing. Doctor Uncle Stan said that to Daddy.”
I explain to Leo, “She heard Mom and Dad talking about my emotional numbing.”
“Ohh.” He nods in understanding, then lightly taps Avira on the head. “He’s not ill.”
She pouts, rubbing her head. “You both are lying. Mama was sad when Daddy was telling her. He is very ill.”
Leo groans. “Why is she so stubborn and stupid?”
I glare at him.
He shrugs. “What? It’s the truth.”
Wen quickly grabs Avira’s hand. “Avi, look! The candy stall.”
Avira’s face lights up. She lets go of my arm and runs with Wen toward the stall. Leo and I follow them. They buy the candies while Wilson, the bodyguard assigned to look after us, pays for them.
I tear the wrapper off Avira’s candy while Leo does the same for Wen.
Avira holds her candy by the stick, licking it once before extending it toward me. “It’s very good.”
I take a small bite from the top and nod. Her grin widens instantly.
Leo nudges my elbow. “Look, there’s a football game over there. Let’s play.”
I nod.
He glances at Avira, then back at me. “We need to get rid of them. She’ll start throwing tantrums the second someone hits you by mistake.”
I narrow my eyes at him.
He sighs. “I’m just saying she cares for you a lot.” He rolls his eyes.
I turn my head and watch Avira eating her candy happily while chatting with Wen. I tap her shoulder. She looks up at me with big eyes.
“Will you play with Wen here? Leo and I are going to play football.”
Leo mutters under his breath, “Did you have to tell her?”
Avira tilts her head, smiling. “We’ll watch you play.”
Leo drags his hand down his face with a groan.
I nod and take her free hand. Leo holds Wen’s hand as we start walking toward the stadium.
After settling them on chairs under Wilson’s care, Leo and I join the game.
After some time, one more player joins the opposing team.
Leo and I exchange a look when we see who it is, it’s Ricky.
Since last year, he’s been trying to get in my way whenever he gets the chance.
He got scolded badly by his parents after the teacher’s complaint, and he’s been holding a grudge against me ever since.
We keep the game going. I get the ball, but Ricky blocks my way. I pass it to Leo with a side kick. At the same time, Ricky comes running toward me and bumps into me hard. We both fall to the ground.
I get up and wipe the dirt off my clothes. Leo rushes to us and pushes Ricky. “What’s your problem?”
Ricky shoves him back. “It has nothing to do with you.”
The other team members intervene, and we resume the game. Everything goes fine for the next five minutes, until Ricky gets another chance to bump into me. This time, his head hits my nose. The impact makes blood spill down my face.
I cover my nose with my handkerchief. He laughs. “You’re nothing more than a pretty boy.”
Players gather around us, but above all the noise, a furious child’s voice echoes the loudest. Her yelling reaches us before she does. Avira and Wen squeeze through the crowd, her face red with anger.
Avira hits Ricky in the stomach. “How dare you hit my brother!”
I pull her behind me, but Ricky just laughs and shoves my shoulder. “You need a little girl to fight for you?”
I grab his hand and twist it hard. He groans in pain, trying to pull free. Leo comes from behind and slaps the back of Ricky’s head. One of Ricky’s friends grabs Leo from behind, but Leo elbows him in the stomach, making him double over.
Ricky throws a punch with his other hand, but I catch it midair and drive my knee into his stomach. He lets out a sharp gasp. I’m much stronger than I was last year, and clearly, his strength hasn’t increased much.
The noise and chaos draw the attention of nearby elders. They rush over and step in, pulling us apart before it goes further.
Ricky’s parents come running toward him, inspecting his arm. Avira tugs at my T-shirt. I crouch down beside her. She gently touches my nose, her eyes shimmering with tears.
I pinch her cheek lightly. “I’m not hurt.”
She blinks. “You’re lying again.”
“I’m not.”
“Hey, child, where are your parents?” a woman’s sharp voice come. I look up, it’s Ricky’s mother. Her face is stiff with anger.
Ricky’s father joins her, his frown deepening as he glances between Leo and me, then at Wen and Avira. “Are you kids alone here?”
“What’s the matter?” Dad’s voice comes from behind us.
Avira turns to him immediately, pointing toward Ricky. “Daddy, that boy hit Zoan on his nose. Zoan’s nose was bleeding.”
Ricky’s father steps forward. “Your son broke my son’s hand. Do you teach such violence to your children?”
I look at Dad. He bends down, inspects my nose, and then places a arm around my shoulders. “Your son hit him first,” Dad says evenly. “My son never starts violence, and I’m proud of him for giving your son exactly what he was asking for.”
Ricky’s mother snaps back. “You’re supporting your child’s violence! You’re turning him into a sociopath!”
Dad raises an eyebrow. “Whatever. Just tell your son, if he can’t afford to get hit back, then he shouldn’t hit anyone in the first place.”
Ricky’s father opens his mouth to argue, but Dad raises a hand. “I’m not free enough to argue.”
Dad’s bodyguards immediately surround us. He bends down again and inspects my nose carefully. “We need to get it checked. You can’t feel the pain, so, without an examination, we won’t know if it’s broken or not.”
I nod silently.
Avira walks up to Dad, clutching her half-eaten candy. He scoops her up, resting her on his arm. She starts narrating the entire incident in her tiny, dramatic voice, her expressions shifting with every detail. Dad listens patiently.
We start walking toward the area where Mom, Uncle, and Aunty are sitting. Wilson must have called Dad earlier, that’s probably why he reached so quickly.
As soon as we reach near them, Wen runs ahead, waving her hands animatedly as she begins to reenact the whole scene with exaggerated gestures. Mom gets up from her seat, her face filled with worry when she sees the dried blood under my nose.
She cups my face, inspecting the bridge of my nose with a frown. “It’s swelling a little,” she murmurs.
Dad places a hand on her shoulder. “We’ll have it checked.”