chapter 40
Zloban
My eyes find her the instant I enter the dining room. I guess something new is being added to my list of disorders: the need to touch her whenever she comes physically close. It existed before, but back then it was only a want. Now, it has become a need.
“Mom and Aunt are watching you. Stop staring at her for fuck’s sake, at least blink your goddamn eyes like a normal human,” Leo mutters close to me.
I look down at my plate.
After dinner, everyone heads to the game room. In the past, I used to take my leave by this time, but today I don’t need to. I will be staying here overnight and then leave tomorrow with my Dove.
They choose the “Guess the Movie” game. Everyone splits into two teams, one team for American blood, the other for Italian blood. They play this game every Christmas with this team arrangement.
Uncle, Mom, Wen, Avira, and Leo are in one team. Dad, Aunt, Ma, and Pa are in the other.
“It’s good that you are here. We will also have five members on our team,” Pa says.
I nod.
Avira stands in the center. “Ok, ladies and gentlemen, since we have a new member who doesn’t know the rules, let me repeat them.” Her eyes meet mine, and her smile widens. My lips curl on their own. She is just looking at me, and yet I feel warmth spreading through me everywhere.
“So, Zoan, the rules are simple. One team will give a movie name to a member of the other team, and he or she will have to make the other members of their team guess the name. You can’t speak, and you cannot write letters in the air. Got it?” She tilts her head.
I nod.
She sits down among the other members of her team, discussing the movie name.
Wen gets up. “Ok, we have the movie. Pa, come here and take the movie name.”
Pa gets up, moves to the center, and Wen whispers the name in his ear before settling down. Pa turns toward us and shows three fingers.
Aunt speaks, “Three-word name?”
Pa nods.
He shows one finger.
Dad speaks, “First is…”
Pa waves one hand.
“Get lost,” Ma says.
Pa shakes his head.
“Go,” I say.
Pa points, then shows three fingers and points toward me.
Dad says, “Third is also ‘Go.’”
Pa nods.
Aunt claps. “Go, Sherry, go!”
Pa nods and sits down.
Now it’s our turn to discuss the movie. Aunt says in a low voice, “Alessio will act, and he knows nothing about acting, just give them anything, and they’ll lose.”
Dad chuckles. “Red Sky Turned Blue.”
Aunt gives a thumbs-up, then gets up grinning. “Come, Alessio.”
Uncle stands and walks to the center. Aunt whispers the name in his ear, then kisses him on the cheek and sits down.
He turns toward his team and repeats the process of giving them letters, then picks the second. Leo guesses instantly. “Sky.”
He shows four fingers, then points toward me and then toward his eyes.
Avira speaks, “His eyes.”
Uncle nods.
She continues instantly, “Beautiful.”
I smile, tugging my head down.
“Blue,” Leo says.
Wen jumps in, “Ohh, wait, I know this movie. Avi, we have read its book. Dad is the first word, some other color name.”
He nods.
Avira hits Wen on the shoulder. “Pink Sky Become Blue? No. No. It’s red.”
Uncle nods.
“Red Sky Become Blue,” she tries.
He shakes his head.
“Ok, your time is about to run out,” Aunt announces.
“Red Sky Is Blue,” Wen tries again.
He shakes his head.
“Red Sky Turned Blue,” Mom says.
Uncle points.
The next turn goes to Ma, and the game continues. From our side, the last turn comes to me.
Avira comes to the center and calls me. I reach her, and she pulls me down and whispers in my ear, “I love you.” A hot pulse runs down my body from her sweet words and warm breath.
It’s a good thing I’ve tucked my dick in a way that it doesn’t show when it gets hard, because these days, it’s getting hard at every chance it gets.
She goes on, “But that’s not the movie. The movie name is Assault, and I know you won’t be able to act. Sorry, baby.”
She pulls away and sits down with a grin. Baby. Ummm… interesting.
I hear Mom asking her, “How come you took so long in telling him a one-word name?”
“I made fun of him,” she replies.
I focus on my team. I show them one finger. They nod.
I make a sign of shooting from a rifle.
“Sniper,” Pa says.
I shake my head and make a rough rifle design. I know Dad will get it.
“Rifle,” he says.
I nod and move my fingers like I’m typing on a keyboard.
“Typing,” Aunt says.
I point toward her and Dad.
“Typing on rifle?” Ma makes a strange face.
“Type of a rifle,” Pa says.
And Dad starts, “Bolt action, DMR, pump action, automatic, single shot, break action, assault…” I point.
“Assault,” he repeats.
Mom chuckles. “They can’t think beyond weapons.”
I sit down. Aunt whispers with narrowed eyes, “Let’s give them single words as well. Brick for brick.”
“That’s three words,” Dad points out.
She rolls her eyes. “That’s an idiom. How about ‘stranger’?”
Ma nods. “Perfect.” Then she pushes me. “Go and give, Avi.”
I get up and reach the center. She comes on her own. I lean down to whisper in her ear, “I love you.” A visible shiver runs through her. She looks at me, stunned. I smile. “But that’s not the name. Stranger is your movie.”
I turn and walk back to my seat.
“I didn’t know Zo also teases people,” Aunt says with a knowing smile. Then she chuckles, “What had you said to that poor girl that she is still stunned?”
“I think she’s thinking how to act,” Ma says.
Avira turns toward her team and shows them one finger, then stands still.
“Don’t tell me ‘Standing’ is the name,” Wen says.
She purses her lips, then moves her hands up, but drops them when nothing comes out.
Then her face lights up. She looks toward Wen and makes a small space between her fingers.
“Small?” Wen says, unsure.
She shakes her head.
“Little?”
She nods.
“‘Little’ is the movie name?” Mom asks.
She shakes her head, then shapes her hands as if holding a book.
“It’s a book’s name,” Leo says.
She nods.
Wen frowns. “Which book’s name is Little?”
Avira shows two fingers.
“Two books’ name?” Wen asks.
She shakes her head.
“Then it’s a two-book series?”
She nods.
Wen makes a confused face. “And the book’s name is Little?”
She nods, then makes a cut sign.
Wen raises her brow. “There is cutting in that book?”
Avira looks up. My little Dove is frustrated.
Avira
I’m trying to make this woman understand that I’m talking about Little Stranger. She is asking me if there is cutting in the book, there’s fucking in that book. A lot of it.
Oh, it’s an adopted-sibling romance. I could now make her understand, but then I realize on which broken bridge I’m walking. I’m about to tell my whole family what kind of content we’ve read.
So I drop the idea. I wave my hands, it’s a sign for erasing any past guesses.
I start anew. I show one finger. Wen nods, tiredly.
I hold one finger on my hand and extend it, then sign for her to pick a part of the name.
“Something in that one word is…” Wen says.
I extend my hands.
“Hug?” she says.
I shake my head.
“Arms?” Mom asks.
I shake my head again. I put one hand on my chest and extend another in front of it.
“Your heart is big?” Wen says.
I hold my head and sit down on the floor.
“You are crazy?” Leo says.
I glare at him.
I sit on the floor with both legs to one side. I make a point on the floor, then another, and hold two imaginary points with my thumbs and forefingers.
“Two points,” Uncle says. Aunt chuckles.
I shake my head, keeping my position on the floor.
“Picking grass?” Wen says.
I flare my nostrils. Dad is laughing behind me.
“Mad Bull eating grass?” Leo chuckles. At this point, I’m sure this Leo bastard is messing with me. Fuck the game, I’m first taking care of this man. I grab my slipper and throw it at him.
He dodges it easily, laughing. But his laughter turns silent to my ears when another laugh echoes in the room. I turn my head and see my handsome man laughing while looking at me. A smile finds its way onto my face despite my frustration.
But then I look at everyone’s shocked faces. Leo’s laughter didn’t go silent to my ears, it went silent literally because he is also shocked. Then I remember, this is the first time our family is watching him laugh.
He also notices everyone’s shocked faces, and his laugh fades into a smile. I feel the urge to jump on him and kiss him until he goes breathless, I mean, until I go breathless. I’ve never seen him breathless, and now I want to see how he will look. Hot as hell, obviously.
I take my eyes away from him before someone catches me ogling. I get up from the floor.
“Stranger.”
Wen’s eyes widen. “Ohhh… that… damn,” she hits her knee.
Dad comes to me and ruffles my hair. “You lose this time.”
I nod with a fake sob, wiping my nonexistent tears.
Wen and I take the empty snack bowls and leave for the kitchen while everyone else also leaves the game room. It’s already 10 p.m., so it’s sleep time.
On our way back to the stairs, we hear two female voices. Of course, our mothers.
We tiptoe and hide in a corner to peek at them. They are not alone, they are interrogating Zoan.
“You don’t feel any kind of discomfort when Avi hugs you, right?” Aunt asks.
Zoan nods.
She and Mama exchange a glance, then look back at Zoan.
Mama asks, “And of course, when I hug you, you don’t feel discomfort either?”
He nods.
“But Avi hugs you differently than Abi,” Aunt chuckles. “She is a very clingy child. Do you never feel like pushing her away?”
I narrow my eyes at the word clingy.
Zoan shakes his head.
Aunt nods, as if it’s good news. “Do you feel uncomfortable when Wen or Iselyn hug you?”
“As long as it’s for a short time, same with Mom.”
“So you don’t like it when women in general touch you, however biologically or emotionally close you are to them,” she pauses, “except for Avi.”
He nods.
Aunt and Mama exchange another knowing look. These women are on a mission today, and their determination is palpable.
Aunt lowers her voice. Wen and I tilt our heads to hear better. “And you had no problem with her marriage?”
Wen and I look at each other.
Zoan replies, “I had.” How can this man say such a thing with a straight face and a tone like he’s stating, “The sky is blue”?
Mama and Aunt are as stunned as they should be.
Zoan speaks after a long silence. “Good night,” and leaves.
They watch him walk upstairs, stunned. Once he goes beyond their eyesight, they look at each other.
“What do we do now?” Aunt asks.
“Alexander will lose his mind and shit altogether,” Mama says.
“I guess that’s why he doesn’t make a move towards Avi.”
Mama frowns. “And what about Avi? Does she also have something for him?”
Aunt nods. “I think this explains her behavior over the past few months.”
Mama sighs. “I don’t know what to feel.”
Aunt rubs her arm. “Let time decide. Leave it here for now.”
They start climbing the stairs.
“Damn. These women are something,” Wen mutters.
I stand straight and turn towards her. “They are not against it as much as I imagined.”
She nods.
We walk toward the stairs.
Wen chuckles. “I’m more shocked about Zo’s ‘I had.’”
I laugh. “Our mothers were also shaken by that.”
“I wonder if they had asked him directly, what would he have replied?”
“Umm… me too. I will ask him.”
We reach near my room.
I hold the doorknob. “Good night.”
She waves her hand. “Good night.”
I open my door and my feet leave the floor. The door closes and locks behind me.
I giggle, wrapping my legs around his waist. He inhales deeply against my neck, nuzzling behind my ear, holding me tightly against him.
“Were you a dog in your previous life, Zoan?” I chuckle.
He kisses along my jaw. “A wolf.”
“How do you know?” I ask, laughing.
He throws me onto the bed, moving on top of me. “I can’t imagine myself good enough to be a dog.”
I nod. “That suits better, considering I still have some traces of my past life as a she-wolf inside me. We were wolves then, it’s decided.”
He watches me babbling with a smile. And when I stop, his lips meet mine in a kiss so devastatingly intoxicating it feels like he has been waiting for a century to kiss me. And I’m no different.
He pulls his head up when I go breathless, and he isn’t even slightly out of breath.
“I want to make you breathless.”
He chuckles. “It’s not possible.”
“Why?”
“I’m trained to hold my breath for fifteen minutes. How will you make me breathless?”
He lays down on his side and pulls me on top of him.
I touch the spikes of his trimmed beard on his jaw with my finger. “Why did you train so much?”
“At first, I wanted to become strong because I hated being weak and helpless.”
“Then?”
He lets out a long drag of breath. “Then I realized I was rescued very late. The darkness had already consumed me. Destruction was the only thing I was capable of. So I trained my mind to make the darkness my weapon instead of becoming its slave. And that required a very strong body.”
I lift my face to watch him more clearly. “What happens when you lose control over it?”
“I kill.”
“Who?”
“I feel the need to kill everyone, destroy everything. But I use a sniper in that state. That helps me stay sane. It demands too much focus and attention. It keeps me busy until I regain my control again.”
I sigh, putting my head back into the crook of his neck. “It’s scary.”
He chuckles. “It’s not an everyday occurrence when I lose control.”
“When does that happen?” I ask, with closed eyes and a dizzy mind.
“When I feel fear or helplessness.”
“What do you fear?” I mumble, half-asleep.
“Losing you.”