Chapter 5
“Um, this is a lot harder than it looks.” Emma clung to a knob on the rock face as her fingers burned and her legs shook. Ryan had made it look so easy when he’d demonstrated the climb for her before he’d hooked her up in a harness. Now that she’d left the ground, the rock seemed sheer and daunting, determined to pitch her backward onto the ground.
“You’re overthinking it,” he said from below her. “Move your right foot across to the ledge there with the inside edge of your shoe. Remember to angle your legs so your hips stay close to the rock. If you stick your butt out, gravity’s going to pull you right down.”
She brought her body closer to the rock and turned her head to give him a look. “Do you talk about all your clients’ butts?”
He grinned, looking so at ease there with his harness on, holding on to the belay rope to catch her if she fell. And at this rate, chances were high that she’d need catching.
“I might choose my words more carefully with a client I don’t know well, but the overall message is the same. Keep your body close against the rock or gravity will do its thing.”
Gravity was trying awfully hard to do its thing right now. She slid her right foot over, feeling blindly for the ledge he’d said was there. Her toes connected with a ridge barely wider than her big toe. “That’s not wide enough to hold me.”
“Sure it is. You’re wearing climbing shoes. They’ll grip just about anything.”
She shifted her weight onto her right foot, keeping her belly pressed against the rock, and sure enough, it held. Her fingers were about to give out, though, and she’d only made it about three feet off the ground. “I suck at this.”
“Not even a little bit. Learning to climb takes time and patience. Keep your weight in your feet or your arms will tire out. You want to be using your hands to steady yourself, not to hold yourself up.”
“Um…” She was pretty sure if she loosened her white-knuckled grip on the rock, she’d tumble right off.
“Trust your shoes, Emma.”
She loosened her grip with her left hand, reaching up with her right for a crease in the rock above her head. The shoes held.
“Atta girl,” Ryan encouraged from below. “Now look for your next foothold.”
Feeling rejuvenated now that her fingers weren’t about to fall off, she scooted her left foot over to another little ledge and stepped up. And?—
“Oh no!” She toppled backward off the rock.
Her stomach flopped, prepared for the fall, but the harness caught her, and she swung against the rock face, bumping her shoulder on it. “Shit.”
“Happens to everyone,” Ryan said as he lowered her to the ground. “This was your first fall. Won’t be your last.”
“Good to know.” She gripped the rock and hauled herself back up. The first few moves were easy, and it didn’t take her long to get back to the spot where she’d fallen. After a few false starts, she found her next foothold and shimmied her way up a few more feet, finally daring to take a glimpse over her shoulder. “Hey, look! I’m finally far enough up to actually need the harness.”
He laughed. “You’re doing great.”
Then she looked up and realized the top wasn’t even in sight yet. She let out a groan.
“Don’t expect to get there on your first day. I started you on the easy end of the rock, but this baby is still a beast. It makes victory that much sweeter when you reach it.”
“If you say so.” She scooted her left foot toward a new ledge, missed, and fell…again.
Her stomach dropped in that disorienting moment between losing contact with the rock and the reassuring yank of the harness behind her thighs.
“I’ve got you,” Ryan said.
Umph. She winced as the harness dug into her legs, but yeah, he had her. In every way that counted. He stood there, so solid and strong as he eased her to the ground.
“You ready to call it a day?” he asked.
She shook her head, even though her arms were trembling with fatigue. “I’d rather end on my own terms.”
He nodded. “Sure thing.”
She grabbed the rock and stepped up, wincing at the ache in her forearms.
“You’re going to be sore in some interesting places tomorrow,” Ryan commented.
“Fabulous.” She glanced over her shoulder at him, and their gazes locked. His eyes got all dark and smoldery while her insides heated up. Oh, how she wished she would be sore in those places tomorrow, instead of her forearms and calves.
Ryan cleared his throat. “So, I hear Ethan and Gabby and a few other people are going to Rowdy’s after work tonight.”
“Yep.” She boosted herself up, scraping her belly on a jagged edge of the rock in the process. It had been almost two weeks since she and Ryan had kissed on his motorcycle. They’d seen each other a handful of times since and kept things totally professional—on the outside at least. Inside, she was still tying herself up in knots for him, but he’d played the friend card so now the ball was in his court.
And she got it—really, she did. Having sex could and probably would totally mess up their friendship. Ryan was practically family, and she had precious little of that to spare. She hauled herself up to the point where she’d fallen, then went one step higher. “I’m going to jump.”
“Brace with your feet and keep your knees bent,” Ryan said.
“Okay.” She jumped, ready this time for the familiar catch of the harness. Her hands were shaking like crazy, the muscles in them completely spent. Ooh yeah, he was definitely right. She was going to be sore tomorrow.
She touched down, and Ryan unfastened the harness from around her legs and waist, allowing her to step out of it. He worked quickly and professionally, but still the warmth of his fingers through her thin knit pants left her feeling hot and restless.
“So what did you think?” he asked as they started hiking together back toward Off-the-Grid’s main building.
“A lot harder than I was expecting it to be.”
“The most worthwhile things in life usually are,” he said with a smile. “And I’m not kidding, take some ibuprofen and a hot bath before you go to bed tonight. You’re going to be sore in muscles you don’t even know about yet.”
She could already feel the truth of his words in her aching limbs. “Will do.”
“So, I’ll see you at Rowdy’s later?”
“Yeah, I’ll be there.”
Ryan settledback in his chair and took a long drink from his beer. To his right, Trent was deep in conversation with Ethan, chatting excitedly about some new DJ technique he’d tried out. The kid had some kind of software on his laptop that let him mix and dub tracks, and he spent hours each day messing around with it.
Ryan respected Trent’s enthusiasm for his craft, but he needed to get an education, too. Or at least hold a steady job. Since he’d hired him at Off-the-Grid, Trent often showed up late or spent excessive amounts of time in the break room playing around on his cell phone. The kid was bright as the day was long and funny as hell, but he needed to grow his ass up. Pronto.
“How are you liking Haven so far?” Gabby asked Trent with a warm smile.
The kid shrugged. “It’s pretty cool. There’s this club in Silver Springs that’s eighteen and over.”
Ethan grinned. “Oh yeah? The Music Factory’s still around?”
Trent’s head bobbed. “Yeah. I’ve been hanging out there most nights.”
“Most nights, huh?” Ryan turned his head to give his little brother a look. No wonder he had trouble getting to work on time.
“Yeah. The DJ last night was totally sick. She played this new mix that was seriously, like, the coolest thing I’ve ever heard.”
“This why you dropped out of school?” Ryan asked. “To spend every night at the club?”
The chatter around the table stopped as everyone tuned in. Trent scowled. “Music is my passion. College is so not relevant to me right now.”
Ryan wondered when he’d quit being the troublemaking kid and started being the adult wanting to smack some sense into the troublemaking kid. “Then find classes that are relevant. Music classes. Business classes. Becoming a DJ means going into business for yourself.”
Trent just shrugged and chugged the rest of his Dr Pepper.
Ryan glanced across the table. Emma caught his eye and smiled. Her hair was down again tonight. She’d worn it down almost every day since that night she’d hung out at the bar, the night he’d given her a ride home. The night she’d first started messing with his head.
He’d settled them safely back into the friend zone. No harm, no foul. Except just being near her made him hot. Her smile did weird, warm, and fuzzy things to his insides. And the image of her climbing up that rock face this afternoon was etched forever in his brain, her sweet ass in his harness and her victorious whoop just before she’d jumped off and let him bring her down…
He had it bad for Emma Rush, which was absolutely ridiculous. He needed to get her out of his head. He fucking needed to get laid, but no other woman had caught his eye in far too long. No one could when he only had eyes for Emma.
She had on a bright blue top tonight, with a silver necklace that dipped into her cleavage, and it was taking every bit of his self-control to keep his eyes on her face.
“I think it’s great that you’re so passionate about DJ’ing,” she said to Trent.
“Thanks.” Trent blushed, shooting Ryan a wary look.
“I do, too,” he said with a sigh. “I just don’t want you to have regrets, that’s all.”
Mark, seated to Ryan’s left, had remained quiet throughout the exchange, but his dark eyes were watchful. He’d enlisted after high school, let the Army iron out his kinks and make him into a man. Maybe he could have a chat with Trent about his priorities sometime.
“So, um, the DJ last night…her name is Iris,” Trent said, as stars practically began to dance in his eyes. “She let me hang out in the booth with her, and after they closed for the night, she let me mix a few tunes on her equipment. The manager said he’ll let me play for an hour next Tuesday night, see how it goes.”
“Really?” Emma’s eyes were wide, her pride palpable. “That’s so amazing, Trent. This could be your first break!”
Trent bounced in his seat. “It’s just an hour, but maybe if it goes well, they’ll let me mix again. Maybe it could turn into a regular gig for me.”
“We’ll all come to hear you,” Emma said. “Right, guys?”
“Of course!” Gabby was grinning from ear to ear.
“Wouldn’t miss it,” Ethan said. “Haven’t been to that joint in years.” He turned toward his fiancée with a smile. “Got a few moves to show you on the dance floor, sweetheart.”
“Likewise,” Gabby said. “I used to go clubbing in Charlotte, you know.”
Ryan turned to his brother. “And this Iris, she’s a friend?”
Trent fiddled with his glass. “Yeah. A friend. She’s cool.”
And he was obviously crushing on her. Which was okay, but… “How old is she?”
“Twenty-two.”
Ethan gave him a fist bump while Ryan bit his tongue. He was Trent’s brother, not his father, and he needed to act like it. He took a deep breath and let it go. “Can’t wait to hear you play.”
“You mean it?” Trent looked at him with a new light in his eyes.
Emotion socked Ryan in the gut. “Yeah, man. Of course.”
“And we all have an excuse to go dancing.” Emma wiggled in her seat with a smile.
The thought of Emma on the dance floor in a cute dress hit Ryan with an entirely different kind of punch to the gut, the kind that let him know he was in big trouble where she was concerned.
“So what’sthe deal with you and Ryan these days?” Gabby asked as she and Emma stood together in front of the mirror in the ladies’ room at Rowdy’s, touching up their lipstick.
Emma lifted her shoulder. “No deal. Just friends.”
“Really? Because that kiss on his motorcycle sounded hot. I thought it was going to be the start of something for you guys.”
“Yeah, so did I, but he was afraid of messing up our friendship if we took it any further.” Emma ran her fingers through her hair, smoothing a few fly-away strands. “Honestly, he hasn’t so much as looked at me funny since, and it’s been weeks. Obviously there was a spark, but I think he’s moved on.”
“And you?”
Emma fidgeted in front of the mirror. “I got kind of infatuated with the idea of a thing between us, but I think it’s time for me to move on, too.”
Gabby was silent for a moment, her lips pursed. “Actually, I think you’re right. We need to set you up on a date. It’d be good for you, plus if Ryan does have feelings for you, it’ll totally make him jealous.”
“Got anyone in mind?” She’d never been fond of blind dates, but maybe Gabby was right. She needed to quit pining after Ryan and put herself back in the game.
“No, but let me think on it.” With a wink, she led the way back to their table.
Emma spent the next fifteen minutes thinking about her conversation with Gabby, and the more she thought about it, the more she liked it. She’d get herself a hot date, maybe even a couple of hot dates. She was so done with waiting for Ryan to make a move he was never going to make.
“I think we’re going to head out,” Gabby said, gathering her jacket as Ethan stood from the table. “See you guys at Off-the-Grid tomorrow.”
Emma would be there installing flowers along the walkway, and yeah, it was fun that she’d get to see everyone. With Trent working there and her landscaping gig, right now she saw her friends at Off-the-Grid more often than anywhere else.
Mark said his good-byes, too, and headed for the door, with Trent following close behind.
Emma looked across the table at Ryan. “I guess we should get going, too.”
He nodded and stood, resting a hand on the small of her back as they walked toward the front door. Outside, the weather was cool but not cold, the stars above shimmering in the cloudless night sky.
“You did great today, you know,” he said.
“Thanks. I had a good teacher.” She turned her head to smile at him, and gah, the sight of him there beside her in the dark, his eyes twinkling in the moonlight, was too sexy for words.
His hand lingered on her back as he walked her to her car, parked a hundred feet or so down Main Street. It felt so natural because it was Ryan and she’d known him forever, but at the same time, it felt so romantic, like she expected him to lean in and kiss her when they got to her car. Like he was hers, and not just her friend.
But when they got to her car, he tucked his hands into his pockets. “Night, Em.”
“Good night, Ryan. See you tomorrow.”
With a nod, he strode off into the darkness. Shaking her head at herself for the ridiculous warmth flushing her body, she got in her car and drove home. Inside her apartment, Smokey waited, perched on the back of the couch, meowing loudly as soon as Emma was through the front door.
“Hello to you, too,” Emma said. With her bright blue eyes and extremely vocal nature, Smokey might have some Siamese heritage, but her steel gray fur gave nothing away for certain.
Emma liked having someone there to say “hi” to when she walked in the door. Usually, she enjoyed having the place to herself with only Smokey for company. Sometimes, though, like tonight, she felt lonely and restless.
It was only eight o’clock, and she wasn’t tired. She was in the mood for company, for conversation. Except Gabby was home with Ethan, and Carly was home with Sam. She texted Mandy to see if she wanted to come over and watch a movie, but Mandy replied that she was “otherwise occupied” tonight.
Dammit.
All her friends were getting laid tonight. Except her.
Feeling even more restless and with a serious side of sexual frustration, she remembered Ryan’s advice about the hot bath. Her muscles were already grumpy so she started the water running, then went into the kitchen for a glass of wine. A few minutes later, she sank into the hot bubbles and all her troubles melted away.
For a few minutes anyway. That nagging feeling of loneliness just wouldn’t leave her alone tonight. She missed her mom, dammit. The emotion rose up so suddenly and unexpectedly that, before she knew it, she was sobbing into her bubble bath.
She put her wine down on the edge of the tub, buried her face in her hands, and cried until she’d run out of tears. She and her mom had been so close. Her dad had taken off before she was out of diapers so it had always just been the three of them: Emma, Derek, and their mom. But while Derek was off dare-deviling with Ryan, Emma’s closest friend had been her mom. They’d done everything together, gone shopping, to the movies, even gossiped about boys.
When a drunk driver ran her off the road when Emma was just fifteen, she’d felt like her life had ended, too. Derek, who’d just turned eighteen, enlisted and went off to boot camp. Emma had gone to live with her friend Clara Mackenzie and her family. She was so grateful to the Mackenzies for taking her in when she’d had nowhere else to go, but she’d never felt like part of their family. She’d always felt more like a guest in their home.
Then, just two years later, Derek died, too, lost in a helicopter crash in Afghanistan.
Emma hiccupped and blew her nose. Then she downed the rest of her glass of wine and dried her eyes. Enough of that.
Still feeling lonely and unsettled, she went into her bedroom, changed into her pajamas, and started flipping through channels on the TV, looking for something to watch, preferably something lighthearted and funny. She settled on an old episode of Friends. It was one of the episodes where Monica and Chandler had started sleeping with each other but were hiding their relationship from the rest of the group.
Would it be that way if she and Ryan hooked up?
Stop it. This was ridiculous. It was time to quit fantasizing about Ryan Blake. She’d spent the better part of her life lusting after him, and it should have become obvious to her years ago that it was never going to happen.
But he kissed me.
And then he went right back to treating her like a friend. So now it was time to find herself someone new to fantasize about. She needed a man who hadn’t known her since she was a kid, someone who could give her the kind of excitement and companionship she was sorely lacking right now.
Sniffling past the last of her melancholy, she grabbed her phone and clicked on the Tinder app. She’d created a profile last year. It was fun swiping through photos of available guys. Of course, she’d never actually gone on a date that way, but hey, this was her year to step outside her comfort zone. She looked at the photo she’d chosen for her profile, a silly snapshot of her with her hands in the dirt, planting a rosebush, taken by Mandy, if she remembered correctly. Eh. It was cute, but maybe she’d mess around and try to take some sexier selfies tomorrow. She spent a few minutes updating her profile—while Chandler hid Monica beneath the bubbles in their bath to protect their secret relationship—and then, taking a deep breath, she switched her Tinder status to active.
Boom.
Take that, Ryan. Maybe the man of her dreams would click on her photo any minute now. Or at least a bad boy to give her the hot fling she’d been lusting after. Ha. She was so ridiculous. Giggling at herself, she started swiping. Left to pass. Right to like. If a guy she “liked” also liked her photo, they were a match and could start chatting. And if all went well? A date.
Left. Left. Left…She made it through at least twenty guys without anyone catching her eye. Was she just picky or were the pickings slim these days?
Next up was a tattooed man posing on a motorcycle. Todd Pierce, age thirty-five, from Silver Springs. He wasn’t all that attractive, and the ponytail wasn’t doing anything for her, but just for fun, she swiped right. Still giggling, she took a screenshot and texted it to Mandy.
Then she got back to business. By nine thirty, she’d swiped right on five guys. She wasn’t too hopeful about any of them, but she made a pact with herself that she would go on a date in the next week. Her phone pinged with an incoming text message. Hoping it was Mandy, she closed Tinder.
What time are you coming out tmrw?It was from Ryan.
She scowled, annoyed that her heart beat faster just at the sight of his name. Ryan was one of the most organized people she knew. Surely he’d written down their appointment. 10, she wrote back.
That’s what I thought. Just making sure
Sure you’re not checking up on me? She meant it as a joke, but the silence that followed her words hung heavy in the air. She squirmed, picturing Ryan in his bed, wearing nothing but boxer briefs…No, strike that, wearing nothing at all…
Just going over the schedule, he answered finally.
Ugh. Why did he have to be so annoyingly platonic where she was concerned? Okay, well, if that’s it, I need to get back to some very important business. She pulled up the screenshot she’d sent Mandy, the one showing Todd Pierce the biker with the Tinder logo clearly visible, attached it to her message, and hit Send.
What the hell?His reply was instantaneous this time.
Gotta go. In search of a hot date. See you tomorrow at 10
Her phone rang. Ryan. A funny quiver took hold in her stomach. “Did you call to offer dating advice?” she answered.
“What’s this about?” His voice sounded low and scratchy and so friggin’ sexy.
Annoyed with her traitorous body for practically melting at the sound, she let out an exasperated sigh. “I need a man, Ryan. It’s been a long time. Know anyone?”
“Em—”
“What? We’re just friends, right? Don’t friends help friends find dates?”
He exhaled into the phone. “You’re going to need to ask one of your girlfriends for help with this one.”
“Then why did you call?” she asked, frustrated because Ryan was the only man she wanted, and the one man she couldn’t have.
“I don’t know.” He sounded as frustrated as she felt.
“I’m hanging up now,” she whispered.
“That’s probably best.”
And with a click, she ended the call.