Chapter 8 #2
I shook his hand, hating that I tingled at his touch. If he wanted to act like we didn’t know each other, I would play along, but it stung. “Nice to meet you. And Ashlyn explained. It’s fine. I’ll make sure I stay off your dock.”
His eyes widened just enough for me to know he caught the undertone of anger in my voice. He held onto my hand for another few seconds, then cleared his throat and released me. “You are welcome to use the dock whenever you want. I told Ashlyn that.”
I nodded, forcing a smile. “I wouldn’t want to cross any lines.”
“You’re not. You haven’t.” His voice softened just enough for me to hear the regret in his tone.
I was so confused. What the hell was going on?
He licked his lips, then took a step backward. “I need to say hello to some people, but I hope to speak to you… both of you again.”
Ashlyn waved, smiling as Josh retreated to the other side of the tent.
I waited, knowing she picked up on something.
“I think he meant it, Ree. He told me you could use his dock. He’s a nice guy.”
I nodded, catching sight of Sage crossing the space and pointed her out to Ashlyn.
Ashlyn waved, catching Sage’s attention.
It took Sage a few minutes to make her way to us since half the people wanted to speak to the woman, but she finally made it and sat next to Ashlyn. “Evie is so happy.”
“Right? She’s so cute. Only a month and she’s gone. Hard to believe.” Ashlyn stared across the yard with a wistful smile.
I tuned Ashlyn and Sage out as I watched Josh interact with the guests. Since it was his house, he was taking on the role of host, welcoming everyone to the party and pointing out Evie to all the guests as they arrived.
His ex stood close to him. She broke in to speak to half the people, and every time she did, Josh’s shoulders sank.
I did not like the woman.
“Do you want to get food?” Sage asked, dragging me back to the table.
I smiled at her and nodded. “Sure. I could eat.”
The three of us wove through the tables, stopping to say hello to people Ashlyn and Sage knew. They introduced me to everyone, and it wasn’t long before all the names and faces ran together. I met too many people to keep straight, and I was good with names and faces.
We returned to our table and found that a few others had joined us. I accepted the welcome to town greetings from everyone. As they all fell into conversations I didn’t follow, I watched Josh.
In the days after I saw him with Hannah, he shared that she was a good mother but demanding.
He never said anything outright bad about her, and watching them together made me wonder if he was still in love with her.
He said he wasn’t, but if she left him and remarried, he could be hiding his feelings.
Was that why he’d never dated? Why he was still single?
I didn’t really know what happened between them, and the more I watched them, the more curious I was.
Which meant it was time to go.
I leaned over to Ashlyn and said I was going to take a break in the house, using the heat as an excuse. She nodded, then continued her conversation, leaving me to escape alone.
I was a coward, but I couldn’t help it. I was not looking to get involved with a man who wanted someone else.
It hurt that he flirted with me, lied about his ex, then kissed me and made me feel like he wanted me.
Then he disappeared for weeks and pretended not to know me.
It was better to just stop thinking about him.
When the door opened a while later, I didn’t bother to leave my room, knowing Ashlyn would find me. She poked her head in, then walked over and sat on my bed. “You okay?”
“Yeah. Just warm and didn’t know anyone, so I figured I’d hide in here.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t really think about how you’d feel being at a party for someone you’ve never met. Especially when your one and only encounter with her father was less than positive.”
I nodded, avoiding her gaze.
“People are leaving. I was going to put on my pajamas and watch a movie. Want to join me?”
“Sure,” I said, smiling and swinging my legs off the bed. “What are we watching?”
“Something about men who don’t cheat and women who get lots of orgasms.”
I snorted. “Definitely fiction.”
Ashlyn laughed loudly. “Yeah.”
I woke up early the next morning, as always.
I debated staying inside, but I refused to let a man influence my choices.
Josh didn’t own Ashlyn’s property, and he didn’t get to control what I did.
Besides, he hadn’t shown up in weeks. I wasn’t going to avoid the sunrise because he might see me outside.
I grabbed a blanket and walked out, curling up in a chair near the fire pit. The tables and chairs from the tent were all gone, stored or removed after the party while Ashlyn and I watched a movie. It gave me a little relief that Josh had a late night and was even less likely to be up early.
That hope was dashed when I heard a door close and saw him walking out of his house. He carried two mugs and headed my way with a look in his eyes that I couldn’t read.
“Hey,” he said, offering me a mug.
I took it. “Hey.”
“Can I sit?” He gestured to the chair he usually occupied.
I shrugged. “It’s up to you.”
“You’re mad.” He sat, placing his mug on the table between us.
I shook my head. “No. I’m confused. A little hurt. But you didn’t make any promises to me, so I have no right to be mad.”
He drew a deep breath and leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. “I should have come out here over the last two weeks.”
“No. Don’t do that. Don’t start with things you think you should have done. I’m too old for games, Josh.”
“Is that what you think I’m doing? Playing games?” He looked shocked and a little hurt.
“I don’t know what you’re doing. All I know is I enjoyed kissing you, and then you didn’t show up. And I haven’t seen you in two weeks, and the first time I see you, you pretend we don’t know each other. I got the hint.”
“And what hint do you think I was giving you?”
“To back off. It’s fine. I know you don’t date. After seeing you with your ex, twice, I guess it’s because you’re still in love with her.”
“What?” he snarled. “You think I’m in love with Hannah?”
I scoffed. “I don’t know. And it’s none of my business. You don’t owe me an explanation.”
“She runs off every female I talk to. I didn’t want her to see us talking and know there was something going on.”
“Then I guess it’s a good thing there’s nothing going on.”
“That’s not what I want, Reegan.”
“What do you want?”
“You.”
“You have a messed-up way of showing me that.”
He sighed. “I know. After graduation, I was dealing with some things. I didn’t come out here because I wasn’t up early enough to see you. I didn’t want to interrupt your evenings with Ashlyn, and it’s obvious that was a good decision since she doesn’t know anything about us.”
My cheeks warmed with his accusation.
“I like talking to you, Reegan. And I really like kissing you. And I’m sorry for not being out here in the mornings and for pretending I didn’t know you yesterday. But I’m not sorry for keeping you off Hannah’s radar.”
“That seems like half an apology.”
“You don’t know Hannah.”
“No, I don’t.”
“She is why I don’t date much, but not because I’m in love with her.
I don’t date because she scares off all the women I try to date.
She… I don’t know why she does it. All I know is she’s made it impossible for me to get to know anyone well enough to give anything a shot. I didn’t want that to happen with us.”
I leaned across the table between us. “What are you saying, Josh?”
He closed the gap between us without a word, capturing my lips and my hand. His other hand dove into my hair and tilted my head as his teeth clashed with mine.
Damn, the man could kiss. And I had no resistance against him.
At all.