Chapter 15
Fifteen
Josh
Naked breakfast on Sunday was my favorite time of the week.
Reegan made me feel like I wasn’t quite as old as I was.
She made me laugh, and she made me happy.
And it wasn’t all about sex, like I told her.
Most mornings, we sat outside and enjoyed the early morning quiet together before I had to go to work.
Reegan still hadn’t told Ashlyn about us, but she was doing that today.
I didn’t ask why she hadn’t told her all week.
It was up to her to do what she felt was right for their friendship.
But I was looking forward to not having to hide anymore.
The three of us were going out on my boat tomorrow, then Reegan was spending the night with me.
I wanted her in my bed sooner, to wake up with her next to me, but I could be patient. Mostly.
Reegan’s car was next door, but Ashlyn’s wasn’t.
I debated going over and saying hello to Reegan, but I was disgusting from my day.
I’d been rebuilding a motor all day and couldn’t seem to get clean no matter how many times I washed my hands.
I stripped as soon as I walked into my house, thankful Evie was with Hannah for the weekend, and tossed my clothes into the utility sink in the laundry room, then walked through the house naked, needing a long, hot shower and a beer.
My college goals had become my mid-forties goals.
Halfway through my shower, I heard a noise in the house. Evie wasn’t supposed to be home that night, so I was more than a little worried.
“Hello?” I called out. The bathroom and bedroom doors were open.
“It’s me,” Christy replied.
“I’ll be out soon.”
“Take your time,” she said.
Her voice sounded weird, so I hurried through the rest of my shower. If she was at my house, who was with Coach?
With my skin clean and my hair no longer caked with grease and dirt, I dried off and wrapped a towel around my waist. I dressed in the first clothes I touched, still tugging a shirt on as I walked out to see Christy.
She was curled up in the corner of my couch, staring at the water. Crying.
“What’s wrong?”
“He’s gone.”
“What?”
She lifted her eyes to mine. “My dad died a few hours ago.”
“Oh, fuck, Chris.” My heart squeezed. I rushed to the couch and wrapped her in my arms.
She turned to me, and the floodgates opened. She sobbed, letting out all her grief and pain as I held her tight and let her cry.
My eyes welled up and tears slid down my cheeks.
Coach was like a second father to me. Even more after my parents died.
He’d been there for me through everything.
He was the first person I told that I didn’t want to go to college.
He was one of the first people I told when I met Hannah, and when Hannah got pregnant with Evie. Coach was family.
And he was gone.
“I’m sorry for crying all over you,” Christy said, pulling back and wiping her tears.
“Don’t apologize for that,” I said, my voice rough and broken. “You know I’m feeling the same way you are.”
Christy nodded. “I didn’t want to be home. I saw you pull in and couldn’t sit in my house any longer.”
“You are always welcome here. Did you call Oscar?”
She shook her head. “I don’t even know where my phone is.”
I reached for my phone and pulled up Oscar’s number.
“Hey. I just got off work.”
“Christy’s here. She needs us.”
“I’ll be there in five,” Oscar said, his voice heavy with understanding. He hung up without another word.
“He’ll be here soon.”
Christy curled into herself, feet on the couch and arms wrapped around her shins, and rested her chin on her knee. “You guys probably had plans.”
“No plans, Chris. We’re here for you. Food?”
She shrugged and shook her head.
She would let herself fade if no one took care of her. I understood the desire. It was the same one I had when my parents died. Untethered. Floating alone. I had Hannah and Evie, but Christy didn’t have a husband or kids. She was by herself.
Oscar and I would keep her grounded. Check in with her. Make sure she was okay.
Oscar walked into the house a minute later and went right to Christy. She collapsed in his arms, and he held her tightly. He’d experienced more loss than I had, and the look on his face said he was reliving it with Christy.
I let the two of them sit, and I went to the kitchen.
Food fixed a lot of things. And alcohol numbed it.
I didn’t have anything easy to prepare, and I wanted to sit with Christy instead of standing over a stove after a long and exhausting day.
I grabbed my phone and put in an order for three pizzas and plenty of beer, paying extra for it to be delivered within an hour.
I pulled three beers from the fridge and opened them all, carrying them to the couch. Christy pulled back from Oscar, smiling at both of us.
“I know you guys don’t like when I’m upset. I didn’t know where else to go.”
“We don’t like when we don’t know why you’re upset,” Oscar corrected her. “We get this.”
“I don’t like not being able to fix it, though,” I added.
“True,” Oscar agreed. “Shit, Chris, I wish we could fix this.”
“Me, too.”
“Do you want to talk about it? Tell us what happened?” I asked.
She shrugged, but then she opened her mouth. “I knew he was getting close to the end. After you guys all came over last week, it was like he was at peace. He started letting go. He’s been talking about my mom more lately. It was kind of nice for me to think she was hanging around, waiting for him.”
“Maybe she was,” Oscar said, his voice thick.
Christy nodded. “I think she was. It was good.”
We were all quiet for a minute, thinking about the end. Thinking about who would be there waiting for us at the end. I hoped my parents would be there.
“I got up this morning, and I took a shower and got dressed. I’m off work, but when Dad gets up…
got up, it was harder for me to get away.
If he’s still in bed, I know he’s safe. But he wasn’t.
When I got in there, his breathing had slowed.
He could barely open his eyes. He smiled when I took his hand, but he didn’t squeeze mine back.
” Christy stopped to draw a breath. It rattled on the way out with her effort to hold back her emotions.
Oscar and I sat on opposite sides of her, each holding a hand to give her our strength. Neither of us spoke, allowing Christy time to collect herself.
“I knew it was the end. I knew there wouldn’t be anymore days with him. So I just sat there. I held his hand and told him I loved him and asked him to say hi to my mom, and sat there. I didn’t do anything for him.”
“There was nothing you could have done,” Oscar whispered.
“I know. I think I know. But I’m a nurse. I save lives every day. And I couldn’t save his.” Tears streamed down her cheeks.
“If there was anything you could have done, you would have done it,” I told her.
She swallowed. “I didn’t think it would hurt this much.”
Oscar exhaled harshly. “I don’t think it matters how it happens. It hurts like fucking hell.”
I nodded in agreement. “Coach lived a life he loved. He will be missed by so many people. You’re not alone in that pain.”
“I know,” Christy said. “Thank you guys for being here for me. I should go. Let you get back to your evenings.”
I traded a look with Oscar and shook my head. “I was planning to sit right here and feel sorry for myself,” I admitted.
“What the hell do you have to feel sorry for yourself about?” Oscar asked.
“My kid is with her mother, and in a few weeks, she’s going to be away at college, and I’ll be alone,” I said, the words scraping my insides as they came out.
“I’m alone now,” Christy said.
“So am I,” Oscar said. “There are times it fucking sucks. And there are times when it’s just normal. But for tonight, we can talk about Coach, see if Josh has any food, and finish these beers.”
The doorbell rang.
“Speaking of food and beer,” I said, heading for the door.
The delivery driver handed over my purchases and thanked me for the tip I added to the app, then waved and was gone.
“I’m starving,” Oscar said, right behind me to help bring everything to the kitchen. “Thanks for ordering.”
I nodded. “Thanks for coming over.”
We both looked at Christy. I’d never seen her look so broken. A failed marriage, a broken engagement, even a miscarriage a few years ago, and Christy always recovered faster than I would have.
But this time…
“We need to make sure she’s not alone.” Oscar’s words were quiet enough that Christy wouldn’t hear them.
I nodded, not wanting to speak and alert her to our talking about her.
“Did you get a pizza for each of us?” Oscar asked, his voice louder so Christy heard.
“I did. I know you’ll steal all of mine if I have to share with you.”
Oscar laughed and grabbed three plates. He took a plate with pizza and a beer over to Christy, setting it in front of her to eat.
Oscar and I carried our food to join Christy, everyone taking a bite before we spoke again.
“Coach is the one who encouraged me to go to trade school,” I told them.
“Really?” Christy asked.
“Yep. I was scared to tell my parents I didn’t want to go to college. I thought they’d be angry.”
“Your dad was a tradesman,” Oscar said.
“Which was why they wanted me to go to college.”
“What did my dad tell you?” Christy asked.
“He said everyone should have a chance to do something that makes them happy. And that if I really wanted to be a ferry mechanic, I had to fight for it.”
Christy smiled. “Sounds like him.”
“He was not one to pull any punches. But he helped me figure out what I would have to do to get my job. He didn’t just say go for your dreams, he asked what it would take for me to get there.”
“He was the one who told me to propose to Emily,” Oscar shared.
“He was?” I blurted.