33. Chapter 33
thirty-three
I fidgeted in my seat, alternating between tugging and winding a stray curl.
A neutral air freshener scent permeated the room, rather than the antiseptic smell I’d expected.
The blue, green, and gray tones of the waiting room were undoubtedly designed to induce a calming effect on the patients until they were called back to meet with the different therapists here.
But I wasn’t sure anything could settle the blizzard raging through me.
Until Max took my hand in his, that is. It didn’t completely subdue the icy storm in my veins, but the frigid winds died down to a manageable level, the frost in my fingertips receding to a dull chill.
“Thank you for coming with me,” I said, probably for the thirteenth time since we drove here.
“Always.” He gave my hand a squeeze. “I’m really proud of you, you know. I can imagine how difficult this is for you.”
My throat tightened with gratitude and the distinct impression of being seen .
Between researching different psychiatrists in the area, then working up the courage and mental capacity to call and schedule an appointment, then call somewhere else to see if they could fit me in sooner, I’d been burnt out for a whole day afterward.
Bare minimum productivity. But, hey, hopefully soon these sorts of tasks—ones so many people could do so easily—wouldn’t be a whole-day ordeal with a recovery period afterward anymore.
I returned his smile, keeping my voice low to avoid disturbing the other patrons. “I want to be able to cope with this part of me, maybe find ways to work with it. I want to be better.”
He kissed my hand, the feel of his lips on my skin still thrilling after a week of being his official girlfriend. “I’ll support you every step of the way. But I want you to remember, Chef” —he lowered his voice to match my volume— “I love you right now, too. Exactly as you are.”
I offered a crooked smile, his tenderness thawing the blizzard inside a little more. “Work in progress and all?”
“We’re all a work in progress, I hope. And yes. Exactly as you are.” He caressed my jaw, not caring in the slightest about all the people watching him. “Do you have any idea how grateful I am that you’re my future?”
“Hopefully as grateful as I am that you’re my future?” I teased.
And yet, it wasn’t an exaggeration at all. No more walking along the shore, believing that was all there was for me. I’d waded into the beautiful, terrifying unknown with him. My safety. And after seeing the sunrise from here, there was no way I was going back.
He chuckled, eyes bright. “Even more.”
I made a sound like a game show buzzer, which thankfully made him laugh instead of side-eye me hardcore like the guy three chairs down. “Nope. Impossible. But nice try.”
Before he could respond, the receptionist looked up from her computer and met my eye. “Dekker Piper? They’re ready for you.”