11. Luna
11
LUNA
I’m absolutely terrified. Which is such a terrible contrast to just how amazing I’m also feeling.
It’s like I just finished off the world’s greatest ice cream sundae and now I’m about to swallow a spoon full of pure lemon juice.
Brent has been nothing short of incredible. And now I’m about to ruin everything. Even the way he’s looking at me now has my stomach twisted into knots.
You could just not tell him , I think to myself.
But I know that’s not an option. I could never lie to him. Not anymore. Not after everything that’s happened between us in this whirlwind romance.
I just have to be honest and tell him and see how he handles it. If he breaks things off with me, I’ll be heartbroken, but I’ll just have to accept it.
I take a breath, close my eyes, and open them again. There he is. Looking as handsome as ever. And he’s just waiting for me to speak.
“My dad didn’t just send me to do purchase orders so I could learn how to do business, Brent.”
My voice is trembling. I feel like throwing up. “He sent me to spy on you. On your farm. To find something to use that would give him an advantage over you.”
The words are like acid spilling off of my tongue. That’s it. We’re done. He hates me now. I know it.
But to my surprise, Brent just laughs. I feel his fingers on my chin, and he raises my gaze so I’m looking directly at him. Then he just smiles and shrugs.
“I know.”
I freeze. It’s like an electric shock has just blasted through my brain.
“Wait, what?” I’m gawking. “You know? ”
He nods, leans in, and gives me a reassuring peck on the lips. “I figured it out after your dad showed up with the inspectors. With his new investment in Smiling Green Dairy and him sending his gorgeous daughter down week after week, I put two and two together.”
Suddenly, it’s like the weight of a car has been lifted off my back. I breathe deeply as he brushes my hair from my eyes. He really does have a comforting smile.
“God, Brent. I thought you were going to freak out. That you were going to hate me.”
“Come on, Luna,” Brent chuckles. “How could I ever hate you?”
I feel the sting at the base of my eyes as they begin to fill up with tears. The next thing I know, I’m collapsing into his arms, bawling like a little girl.
Brent strokes my hair, making me feel protected, and most of all loved.
“I feel so silly,” I laugh, crying at the same time.
“Don’t feel silly,” he says, his voice so soothing. “You had every right to be worried.”
Suddenly, I go tense again. I did, didn’t I?
I sit back, putting a bit of distance between the two of us. All of a sudden, Brent doesn’t seem so soothing and safe as he did five seconds ago.
“What, gorgeous? What is it?”
It’s like a movie on super-fast-forward plays out in my mind, filling me with heavy thoughts that crash into my heart like a shell being fired from a tank.
“So wait,” I say slowly. “ You knew that I was sent by my father to spy on you, yet you chose to come here to see me?”
“Well, yeah.” He shrugs. “How could I resist?”
Brent reaches out for me, but I slap his hand away. He looks back at me with shock.
“Luna? What is it?”
“Why?”
“Why? Why what?” I feel like I’m in a trance. Like parts of me are starting to go numb. It’s hard to even look at him.
“Why didn’t you tell me right away? That you knew?”
“I–I guess it didn’t occur to me.”
He’s lying. I can hear it in his voice. He’s spinning a web of bullshit in the same exact way I’ve heard my father spin his bullshit when he’s got his businessman-voice on. He knows he screwed up, and now he’s trying to twist it and make it seem like he didn’t.
“No.” I shake my head, backing up. “If you’d known, you would have said something. You wouldn’t have just come here to have sex with me.”
“Luna–”
“Unless you were willing to keep me around, knowing I was spying on you while you were still fucking me. Which would make you the biggest asshole in the universe.”
Brent pauses. It’s not long, but it’s longer than I’ve seen him pause before. It’s like a guy who’s been caught.
“Yeah, I thought so.”
Instantly, I’m on my feet and pulling my clothes on. My heart is throbbing like I’m about to have a heart attack. If only Emily was here right now for some support. I could use a friend right now. Just to yell at him and get my back more than anything.
“Luna, you can’t possibly believe what you just said,” Brent says finally, as I’m pulling on my T-shirt. “You know me better than that.”
“Do I?” I all but scream. “How well do I really know you, Brent?” My stomach sinks and I groan as the full realization of this debacle hits me. “Christ, I gave my virginity to you.”
“And I am honored ,” Brent says, getting to his feet. He steps closer, and I instantly scream like a harpy.
“Don’t touch me!” That was definitely loud enough to get my ultra-feminist RA, Marge’s, attention if she’s in her room right now. “You need to go. Now!”
Brent gets the message and immediately starts to get dressed. “I can’t believe this is what you think of me, Luna. Why would I do something like this?”
“Because you’re a guy?” I shrug. “You wanted some ‘fresh pussy’? Or maybe because you wanted to use me the way my dad did, only the reverse. The two of you were just playing Game of Thrones with me and treating me like a pawn in your little kingdom of farms.”
A knock at the door causes us both to jump.
“Luna? Emily? Are you all right in there?” It’s Marge. Thank God.
I give Brent a look that takes him no less than a second to understand. He quickly brushes past me and takes hold of the doorknob.
“We’re fine, Marge,” I call out as he opens the door. I smile broadly, and he flashes his charming grin at her as he passes by and moves down the hall. “He was just tickling me, and I was about to pee my pants.”
Marge turns and watches Brent go, then turns back to me.
“Are you sure, Luna?”
I may be hurt, angry and betrayed, but I don’t need to take this in a direction it doesn’t need to go. And if I get Marge fired up, that’s what will happen.
“Of course I am!” I laugh. I point to my tickle spot on my waist. “He knows that if he pokes me here enough, he can get me. And he finds me cute when I laugh, so he just wasn’t stopping. So finally I just screamed. Probably too loud. Sorry about that.”
“Luna, it sounded like you were being–”
“No, no,” I laugh. “Everything’s fine, Marge.” I pull her in for a quick hug. “But thanks for checking on me.”
I pull the door closed behind me and throw myself down on my bed and burst into tears, covering my face with my pillow so as not to be heard by anyone.
I can’t believe it.
I gave him my virginity. And I was just about to give him my heart.
Just like that I fell for him. And just like that, it was snatched away.