Chapter 4
Devon
Stepping outside that cabin almost feels like I’m time travelling. The door closes behind me— red, hand carved, and far too cute to be functional, and the town lays sprawled in front of me like I didn’t just somehow have sex with a cup of hot chocolate.
Do I check myself in for treatment now or later?
The cool air cuts through the muddled inner workings of my brain, slowing my frantic heartbeat and forcing me to look around and appreciate just how beautiful this spot is.
The trees have clearly been here for a long time, they’re tall and imposing and only slightly judgy, but now I’m a bit wary of basically everything.
If a cup of hot chocolate can be a sentient person that has very strong…
urges…what else around me can likewise turn into something resembling a human being?
My phone buzzes from my pocket, further severing my ties to the incredibly fake realm I must have just dreamt about. There’s no way that happened.
There’s still a ring on my hand, though.
“Hey, mom. You have no idea how much I needed a phone call from you today.”
“Oh no, what’ s happened? Did you finally break down somewhere on the side of the road? Is there a shady man trying to break into your car? Is he sniffing your panties?”
“Mom, have you been listening to those weird podcasts again? I’m telling you; those are all AI generated stories. That shit doesn’t happen in real life.”
She sighs and even the familiar banter is enough to make me smile and relax a little.
“You’re probably right. Just today there was somebody that swore they were feeling sexual attraction to a cup of coffee, and they said it was reciprocated.
I mean, how crazy is that? They were so convincing too—they had this whole personality created for their so-called lover.
Went so far as to talk about soul mates and.
.. maybe it’s time to switch to some nonfiction books for a while.
Where are you? You still in that tiny little town you said was just a little strange? ”
That coffee story was a bit too on the nose for my comfort. What the hell would I even tell my mom about who I’m apparently married to?
Ugh. There’s really no ‘apparently’ about it. I’m delusional.
As much as I wish I could say I dreamt the entire exchange with Chip, I’m walking just a little bit too funny to not have just had incredible sex. “Um, yeah. Strange little…town. Ya know, I think it’s growing on me.”
“Like a fungus, or like an extra set of limbs that allow you to do all kinds of cool things?”
“What does that even mean? I mean, I think I’m starting to feel the pull here. I’ve started talking to a few of the locals—"
“I’m sorry. I can’t even let you keep talking because I’m too excited.
I’m here! I’m standing right next to your van right now.
Surprise! I needed a change of scenery and the thought of spending the holidays alone again was too depressing.
I figured, why not go to my daughter’s cheap motel room and be depressed together? It’s perfect!”
“I’m not—"
“Honey. You’re a little depressed. But that’s okay. Mommy’s here.”
I walk a little faster towards town, wondering how far of a walk it is to the motel. “Please don’t call yourself that. That got weird a long time ago. What do you mean you’re here? What about your job? You know, that thing that ties you down?”
“Oh. Well, we’re negotiating right now.”
“They don’t know you’re on vacation, do they?”
“They’ll learn to appreciate how hard I work for that company or I’ll take an early retirement and move in with you. Either way, I’m set. Where are you? Which room is yours? I’m sick of standing out here, I’m coming up.”
“Mom. First of all, I’m not at the motel. Please don’t go knocking on random doors. Second of all, I love you, but living together would not end well. You know this.”
I can almost see the end of the trees now, leading through a small grassy field and a split log fence, and then the town just about a block farther. “How did you even find me here? I’ve heard this town is hard to get into.”
“What, like they monitor who’s allowed inside the town’s limits?
I just checked your location on your phone and put it into my maps app.
Come on. I’m old, but I know how to use a phone.
Is this like one of those towns where they’re going to get mad there’s an outsider here?
Oh god, is it like bringing a guest to dinner when the cook doesn’t know they’re coming? Why didn’t you warn me, Devon?”
“And how could I have done that when I didn’t even know you were coming?”
I get to the edge of the fence and cross the road, popping up next to a bakery. Great. The scent of chocolate wafts through the air, and I will never admit to the way my cunt spasms at it.
“Dear, are you okay? You’re making a strange sound. Did you get a stitch in your side? You used to get those all the time when you were in college.”
“I’m— no. I’m fine. Sorry. There was a… bug. Um, hold on, I’m trying to figure out where I am.”
She starts yelling, wondering how I could be somewhere unknown if I wasn’t kidnapped, and I clearly have nothing to say about that for obvious reasons, so I continue to hmm and haw in good enough places until I get re-oriented and figure out where to turn to find the motel.
As soon as she sees me, I hang up and tuck the phone back into my pocket, far too many questions in my brain as she starts waving frantically, alerting anyone in the near vicinity that she knows me.
But she’s my mother. She immediately sees the ring on my finger and stares up at me with wide, blinking eyes.
“What. Is. That? Is that the reason this town is growing on you? Devon Whitney! How dare you elope and not even tell me! Where is he? Where’s the man that finally got you to stop living the life of a troubadour? ”
She starts looking through the air like he’ll magically materialize, and I’m half afraid he will, and half afraid he won’t.
I don’t even know how to start explaining my relationship with…
Chip. Fuck. I’m fucking married to a cup of hot chocolate.
And he gives me the most intense orgasms I’ve ever experienced in my life.
Inappropriate time for me to accept that, methinks.
“Why don’t we go and get something to eat and we can talk? ”
It’s not long before we’re sitting opposite each other at a squeaky vinyl booth at the town diner, a plate of onion rings between us.
It’s very difficult to ignore the fact that she said she was craving hot chocolate and ordered the largest one they had, topped with an insane number of sprinkles, claiming that the cold mountain air required it.
She was appalled I ordered nothing but water, but how the hell do I tell her that drinking anything else feels like being unfaithful?
Maybe I order a side of sprinkles to go so Chip and I can get freaky later, but that’s between me and whatever gods take responsibility for us…
and everyone else in the diner. One older lady in the booth behind us starts choking on her food when I ask for them, clearly already knowing what my plans for them are. She can mind her own damn business.
“So. You’re married. That is a wedding band, right? Not some souvenir you picked up somewhere and insisted on sliding on that particular finger for no apparent reason?” She takes a noisy slurp of chocolate and it puts me in such an uncomfortable position.
“I…it wasn’t planned?”
“Oh my god. Are you pregnant? Because you know I’d never push you to get married just because you fell pregnant.”
“Mom. Why would you say it like that? No, I’m not pregnant. He’s…well, he was a surprise, that’s for sure.”
I must space out for a minute, because before I know it, she’s snapping in front of my face, breaking me out of my floaty headspace. “Well? Where is he? Is he at work or something?”
The bell over the door chimes and without even turning to look, I already know who I’ll see. The tingles on the back of my neck are too strong and too attuned to his every breath.
When Chip reaches my table, he smiles down at me like he’s been waiting weeks to see me smile at him, leaning over to kiss me like he’s desperate for it. “You left the cabin, I had to come see where my beautiful bride wandered to. And who’s this lovely lady with your eyes? Hello, I’m Chip.”
He reaches out a very human, very non-chocolate hand for my mother to shake, and her eyes are practically bugging out of her head.
But like, so are mine. Because the chocolate version of Chip I was with earlier seems to have been entirely replaced by one made of skin and bones, and actual hair; I know, what a novelty!
“How—” I start to ask him, but he just winks at me, sliding into the booth right next to me so he can collect my hand and place it against his mouth while his other hand wraps around my shoulders.
“Later,” he mouths.
We both turn to my mother at the same time, who’s still gaping at me, but looking so damn happy that I decide to just go with the flow. “Mom, this is Chip. My…husband. Yep. That.”
He snorts, sliding me a cup of chocolate that definitely wasn’t there a moment ago.
Luckily, my mother has no idea how wildly scandalous me drinking it is.
“This is the best surprise, Devon. I’m not even upset we can’t be depressed and alone together for the holidays!
You’re absolutely glowing! I’m…I’m at a loss for words.
When did this happen? And when were you going to tell me? ”
“I apologize, ma’am.”
“It’s Brenda.”
“Brenda,” Chip says with warm crinkles around his eyes.
“She came into town, and I knew instantly I belonged with her. It was almost like magic. It took a little bit to get her to see my viewpoint, but we tied the knot just yesterday inside our home. I gave her this ring, handmade of course, and we’ve been living in bliss ever since. ”
“Ever since…yesterday? Right. Um…this is so unexpected, Devon. But then again, you’ve always been such a free spirit.
” She looks me up and down as best she’s able to from our booth, staring into my fucking soul to find the lie, but I get distracted by a piece of dark hair that falls onto Chip’s forehead, and I can’t help but to reach for it so I can feel the texture of it. It’s so different than it was before.
“Well it appears you’ve finally found something worth setting down roots for. I’m happy for you, Devon.”
I blink out of my clichéd daze and turn back to my mother. “You’re not upset with me? For not including you?”
“I mean, it would have been nice to see you get all dressed up and walk down some sort of aisle, but I’ve always known that wasn’t for you.
You don’t always do things the traditional way, and I don’t think I ever expected you to have a traditional wedding.
I actually am not entirely surprised. You hardly ever had a serious relationship in your life, and I just knew that one day, you’d meet someone perfect for you, and they’d sweep you off your feet and you’d just go all in. It suits you.”
I relax into Chip’s side. “Thank you, Mom. It's obviously very new, but I'm happy.”
“We need to celebrate! Something like this deserves it. What is there to do in this town? Or maybe I should just see myself out so you two can spend some time together?”
Chip has the exact right thing to say. “Nonsense. You came all this way to spend time with your daughter; it would be a shame if you didn't get to. We'd love to have you stay. Has it been a while since the two of you have been able to spend time together?”
My mother reaches for my hand across the table.
“We keep in touch, but she likes to travel around, you see.
This is the first time in years I've come to visit her where she was staying.
But now it seems like this might be a permanent fix.
It's driving distance, you know. Got here in about four hours. That's not too bad.”
Chip drops his hand to my thigh, resting it and letting his warmth seep into me through my clothing.
He tugs on my leg until I open up more, letting his pinky rest exactly where you think it's resting.
You'd never know by his face though, that he's trying to get up to no good.
“There's actually a celebration in town for us tonight.
I've been working hard without her knowing to surprise her. I felt she deserved at least a reception. I knew we wouldn't have time to invite any of her friends or family, but the town is also very anxious to get to know her. The timing of your visit couldn’t have been better.”
He turns to me, amusement in his eyes. He knows I can't tell him no.
Not after hearing all the lengths he's gone to and invited my mother to join in.
“I hope that's okay? I'm proud to be yours, and what better way than to celebrate with your new neighbors? They love a good excuse to have a shindig.”
How old is this guy? I bite my tongue against that thought, because the only people I know that use the word like that are in nursing homes. Color me curious though, because I kind of wanna see what it's about. “You'll get to be there too, right?”
I'm sure it's a strange question to my mom's ears, but Chip knows what I'm actually asking. I don't know how long he can hold this form; I don't want to go if he's not there.
“Of course, my little pastry cream. Nothing could stop me. I have a few details to take care of still, I hope you ladies don't mind if I excuse myself to get everything in order before this evening? You can meet me in the town square about six. I'll feed you dinner, don't worry.”
He gives me an intense kiss and then takes my mom's hand as well to shake it again since a hug would be awkward with her sitting, and then he walks out the door and disappears.
I'm assuming he's going to revert to where he goes when he has to rest and revive himself, but I'm hoping after that cup he slid me of himself, he’ll have a good amount of strength later.