Chapter 10 Creature
“ B lair,” I whispered, gutted by her soft cries as I left the room and entered the hall, carrying her away from the fucking dead asshole who tried to take her from me. “I’m here. I’m not leaving you again.”
I meant that. If Maddog got pissed about it, he could kiss my ass. My girl needed me. She was fucking traumatized after being attacked in my room.
My clubhouse. My room. The place I swore she’d be safe.
I fucking failed her.
We both did.
It didn’t make me feel better.
Blair leaned back, sniffling as she swiped across her cheeks. “You saved me twice, Balen.”
I did. It never occurred to me not to help. That wasn’t who I was or the kind of man my father raised me to be. You didn’t puss out when shit got hard, and when someone was in trouble, you always tried to lend a hand.
“I’d do it again.”
“I know you would.” The corners of her lips twitched with an almost smile. Any humor quickly faded. “Not many would do what you did.”
“That’s who I am.”
“Exactly.” Her soft hands rested against my face.
“I don’t care if you’re a badass who rides a motorcycle or if you have to step outside the law to get things done on occasion.
” One of her palms lowered to rest over my heart, the warmth sinking into my skin.
“I care about what’s here.” She lightly tapped the spot with her finger. “You’re a good man, Balen.”
Good?
The scoff inside my head almost made me laugh.
“I’m glad you think so.”
“You’re not like anyone I’ve ever met.”
“I’m guessing you like that,” I teased her.
Sure, it might have been the wrong time.
She freaked out after I had to shoot her attacker.
I saw her retreat deep inside herself, and it scared the shit out of me.
I didn’t want her ever to feel that afraid again.
But I sensed she needed to talk this out, and I had questions of my own that had to be answered.
I descended the stairs, taking Blair to one of the empty rooms we planned to turn into a billiards and rec area.
Maddog had plans to demolish a couple of the walls and open it up on the first floor.
There would be the bar, the kitchen, a common area with couches, end tables, a few big screen televisions mounted on the walls, the bathrooms, a dining area big enough to accommodate a large group, and the rec room.
When we entered, I carried her to a table and placed her on a chair. I grabbed one for myself and scooted close, enclosing her hand as I threaded our fingers together.
There wasn’t any other seating because we tossed all the old, stained couches and other unusable furniture, keeping as much original wood as we could.
Much of it needed to be polished, and it wouldn’t take much to be restored.
Beautiful grains, too, like mahogany and cherry.
When we finished, we’d have a fucking badass clubhouse.
I turned her wrist over, smoothing my thumb over the scar. Both wrists carried the same puffy raised marks, proof she’d slashed them. Deep. I could tell.
“Why?” I softly asked, lifting my gaze to meet the haunted look in her sky-blue eyes.
“There was a time when the darkness closed in,” she whispered, “and it almost took me.”
I fucking understood better than she would ever fathom.
We know the darkness. We can protect her.
Yes , I agreed.
“You lost someone close to you, didn’t you?”
Her eyes widened. “How did you know?”
“Because,” I swallowed, “I can feel that pain and hear it in your voice. My mother was murdered when I was thirteen.”
“Oh, God. I’m so sorry, Balen. That’s horrific.” She gripped my fingers tight. “Is your dad alive?”
I couldn’t hold back a smile. “Yeah. He’s too stubborn to go anywhere. Even when his doctor diagnosed him with MD, he got around in that wheelchair of his. It’s almost scary.”
A tiny laugh followed. “I bet.”
“So when I say I get it, I want you to know I mean it. I walked in the darkness, too, after my mom died. It fucking gutted me. Things were never the same.”
“The abrupt change and loss are brutal.”
“They are. We have to adapt, and that takes courage. It’s a mental toll that wreaks havoc. Grief is a fucking ravenous beast. It almost destroyed me.”
“Me too.” She stared at her wrists before lifting her gaze to mine again.
“My parents and younger brother were killed in a car accident. A teenager who lost control during a winter storm on the highway. It’s one of those freak things that happen, and no one can explain it.
There’s no comfort. No one to blame. The girl driver didn’t take drugs or drink.
She just slid on the ice, spun my parents’ car when she hit the rear end, and they slammed into a semi. ”
“Oh, fuck. I’m sorry, Blair.”
“She walked away with a few scratches. My family died on impact.”
Jesus fucking Christ. My heart ached for her.
I could tell she still struggled with the loss and the anger it left behind.
“You were pissed,” I guessed. “That’s understandable.”
“I was livid,” she spat. “I hated that there was no one to blame, and I was all alone. I didn’t have many family members and no one close. It felt like I lost everyone and everything I knew in an instant.”
I pulled her from the chair and onto my lap. “Fuck, baby. I’m so sorry that happened to you.”
“I loved my mother and brother, Balen, but my dad? He was my champion and protector, my rock, everything.” She shook her head. “Losing him completely destroyed me.”
“So you tried to escape from reality.” I did, too. But Drake wouldn’t let me. He made me throw up the pills I swallowed. I couldn’t slice my wrists. It was too much to put my dad through; he would have lost it. I gave up on suicide.
Drake became my companion after that. We settled into a routine. I took control on most days. When something happened to trigger extreme pain or trauma, he took over. When violence was needed, he became the monster. It was fitting that he earned the nickname Creature.
“I battled depression, rage, and grief all at the same time. My friendship with Bells saved me from trying it again.”
Suicide. I understood.
We almost lost her before we found her.
“Come here.” I hugged her close and then leaned back, tipping her chin up so I could stare into those perfect, pretty eyes. I’m going to kiss you. Is that okay?”
She blinked before her eyes dilated. I could tell she wanted it. Her desire was plainly written on her face. “Yes.”
My hand slid up her back, cupping the back of her neck and angling her head for better access. Her eyes closed as I watched the emotion flicker over her features, and then I pressed my lips to hers. So fucking soft. I never met a woman with smoother skin or a softer, sweeter mouth.
My tongue plunged past her lips, dipping inside, warm and wet. The thought went straight to my cock. I grew hard so fucking fast that I almost groaned. Blair’s chest butted against mine as my tongue circled around hers, naturally deepening the kiss.
I tightened my hold around her nape as my thumb feathered across her pulse.
It raced beneath, and I almost broke the kiss with a grin.
Her fingers gripped the front of my shirt and bunched the material of my tee.
And that was when my growing erection dug into her core because she straddled my hips, grinding down once on my cock.
Fuck me.
She’s into this. Blair wants us.
I fucking wanted her too.
Her tongue swept inside my mouth, and I tugged her against me, removing the last couple of inches that separated us. My hand speared into her hair, and the kiss turned rougher, wilder. . .until she winced in pain.
Shit! I forgot she was injured.
I pulled back, my forehead resting against hers. Her breath fanned over my face as she licked her lips. I had to separate us. My body had come alive with her touch, but I had to stop it—for now.
She jutted forward like the pain didn’t bother her, but I wasn’t letting that happen a second time. I stopped her from getting closer since my hand still wrapped her neck.
“You need to heal first.”
She glanced at me through her lashes. “I know.”
The corner of my lip curled. This woman. She tested my restraint like no other ever had. I was tempted to lay her back on the table, strip her down, and feast on her pussy before I shoved my cock inside her and made her come at least three times.
My dick strained against my zipper. I’d be in pain for a bit after this. Desire and lust throbbed through my veins, building a fire that blazed with heat and need. She fucking did wicked things to my body and brain.
Every ounce of my control had been tested.
She would have given in to me, and taken my dick, riding me on that chair without a care about who could have walked in on us.
That turned me on even more. But I needed to do this the right way, on her terms, but also, so she understood this wasn’t a fling.
Not to me. I didn’t want to fuck her until I grew bored. I didn’t think that was even possible.
But I also needed to remember she wasn’t part of my world. She didn’t grow up with an MC or bikers. This was all new to her.
Blair was the type of girl who fell hard for her man and was all in when it happened. I had to help her see that I felt the same, that I was all in with her, and I didn’t want or need any other woman in my life or my bed.
She trusted me. It was inevitable that she would be starry-eyed when I saved her life twice. But this went far deeper. This connection and attraction we felt wasn’t going away.
For the first time in my life, I felt the need to prove that I was trustworthy, something I hadn’t felt compelled to do since I prospected years ago. I was the take-it-or-leave type of guy. Accept who I was, or fuck off.
With Blair, it was different.
I kissed her forehead. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Her shoulders visibly relaxed. “I believe you, Balen.”
Good. Now I just had to eliminate all threats against her, starting with that motherfucker Mateo Ruiz. I couldn’t shake the feeling he was behind the attack and sent an assassin to finish Blair off. He struck me as the type who didn’t like loose ends, and Blair became one of them.
I wouldn’t let him hurt again.
Blair had to be safe, which meant I needed to bring this to church.
“Listen, Firecracker, I’ve got church.”
Her brows bunched as she frowned. “Church?”
“Ironic, I know, but church is a club meeting. It’s mandatory.”
“Okay.” Disappointment flitted across her face.
“I gotta go, but it shouldn’t take more than an hour. I’ll ask Lark to sit with you while I’m gone. Okay?”
She opened her mouth to object, but I shook my head.
“I’m not asking. I’m telling you that I won’t leave you alone. Lark will keep you company and get whatever you need. You’ve got to be hungry, baby.”
She didn’t deny it.
When we stood, I took her hand and led her to the kitchen. Lark and Bianca looked up when we entered.
“Need you to stay close to her until church is over.”
“I will,” Lark promised.
“We won’t leave her,” Bianca agreed.
Thankful, I nodded.
Lifting my hand, I cradled Blair’s face, brushing my thumb over her bottom lip. It was too fucking tempting. I couldn’t resist another kiss. My lips closed over her mouth, much gentler than last time.
When I leaned back, she shyly smiled.
“I’ll be back soon.”