Kindness
Creed
Morgan was suffering on the inside and trying to wear a brave face. I could clearly see how hard she was working to keep her grief buried deep down. Despite the uneasy feeling that constantly nagged at me when I was around her, I set them aside the best I could to treat her with kindness. None of that said I was ready to trust her. That was why she was staying in my home and not in one of the apartments.
Modern technology was far more advanced than the public was aware. We had software programs that could control any cellular signals within the confines of the community. I knew when she made calls and to who at any given moment. I would know whenever she spoke to anyone outside Cold Springs. The idea of Hollywood ever finding out about our community was realistic with Morgan staying inside the gates, and it would have led to a disaster. It wasn’t just the chance I was taking of her exposing us, but there was also the media. My home was filled with cameras and audio recording equipment. I would know everything she said and did at any given moment.
Having her inside those gates was a risk, a huge risk, but I opened my mouth and promised Darren I would keep her safe. I regretted it even before the words escaped my mouth.
Did I trust her? Hell No.
Did I like her as a person? Undecided.
Did she make me hard as hell and did I daydream about those supernatural blue eyes, long legs, nice ass, and great tits all day and night? Fuck yeah, and she was messing with my sanity.
Did the way she seemed awestruck by what we built on the lake make me feel prideful? Abso fucking lutely.
Was I in a pissed off shitty mood? I sure as hell was…until I saw her climb out of Magnus’s truck. That was when I got the craziest uneasy feeling that was eating away at me during the entire tour. Why was I in such a horrific mood? Well, there was more than one answer to that question. It could have been because someone tried to kill the beauty sitting next to me. It also could have been because an adorable little girl stole my heart when she was ripped from my arms. Then again it could have been the fact that Nicole Powers, AKA my mother, suddenly began obsessively calling me. Why the hell I never blocked her number would always be a mystery to me. It wasn’t my birthday or hers, so I guess it was curiosity that led me to take her call. Was it money she wanted, since that was usually her motive? Surprisingly enough that wasn’t the case. Instead, it was of course something else she wanted from me. As shocking as it was, she asked where I was stationed and if I could find the time for a little reunion with her and the grandfather she always said didn’t want me. The woman didn’t even know her son was “retired” from the military. She asked if I could take leave and meet her in Corbinville, Indiana. Little did she know I was just minutes away from her hometown. She went as far as to try and make me believe that she wanted to make us all a family, but I already knew her motives. My uncle was buying the family dairy farm, and she wasn’t happy about it. Why wasn’t she happy about it? Well, lets start with her jealousy. She told me as a kid that she was mistreated, and her brother was her dad’s favorite. That her parents never paid any attention to her, and they wanted nothing to do with either of us. So, that answered why she wanted the farm. It was attention seeking and drama at its finest. She thrived on drama and literally hunted for it. Somehow she thought getting me involved would help in her idiotic plan. I dropped the call and all day I could feel my phone vibrating in my pocket. The woman had me on speed dial and left several voice mails. She also sent me texts.
To top that off, I was watching the cameras and witnessed Felicity’s little stunt that morning. I found myself curious about what Morgan was doing, and like a stalker, I watched her on camera as she attempted to make herself a cup of coffee. I should have warned Morgan about Felicity, but it was too late.
Felicity was harmless, and she played a vital role in the community. The woman had been to hell and back which caused her insecurities. I had sympathy for her situation and could see why she saw a woman like Morgan as a threat. I didn’t appreciate the things she said to Morgan, but she wasn’t completely wrong either. Everyone deserved to be treated with respect, and I expected Morgan to be kind to everyone in the community. That included the women who enjoyed their time with our operatives. Where Felicity went wrong was speaking of my sex life and trying to put rules in place that didn’t even exist. Sure, Felicity and I spent time together, just enjoying a little oral, but I never had sex with her. She also never spent the night in my home. She did not have my consent to bring Dahlia up in the conversation at all.
I received two calls from Dahlia just in one day, not counting the calls yesterday, and none were the finest moments of my life. I let her go from our agreement, but Dahlia wasn’t exactly on board with it. Each time she called she left me feeling like a piece of shit. I was still feeling the shame over how our last night together was a complete failure, but it was time. Dahlia was growing attached and that was why she originally wanted to renew the contract. Today she informed me she wanted to have a relationship and never accept another dime from me. I had to let her go because I saw nothing more with her than what we already shared. She deserved to go back to the life she had before she met me. I made sure she was set financially to finish school, but she wouldn’t be seeing me again.
“Earth to Creed.” Morgan snapped her fingers in front of my face which stirred me from my thoughts.
“Sorry, I just have a lot on my mind. What did you ask?” I looked over at her and dammit if those eyes didn’t pull me in and hold me hostage. I could have sworn that Morgan Rossi was some sort of evil creature that could easily manipulate me just by locking her eyes with mine. In those eyes I saw everything I never expected. There was innocence, curiosity, kindness, and something supernatural that pulled me deeply in and held me captive. At times I had to force a deep breath to calm my racing heart. Just one glance at that woman made me so rock hard it was painful. Strangely enough it wasn’t just the fact that she was a goddess and the most beautiful creature on the planet, it was her presence in general. Her laugh brought a strange feeling of joy to me, her voice was soft and innocent, and whenever she bit that bottom lip I wanted to coax it from between her teeth with my lips then take in what would imagine would be the sweetest and most addictive taste on earth when my tongue swept against hers.
“I didn’t actually ask a question. I commented how this place is like a dream come true to a person like me. Outside of Cold Springs, I don’t have much freedom. My house doesn’t feel like a home because my security alarms go off all the time. I already feel safe here.” She stole her eyes away from mine and shifted them to her visitors pass as she played with it. The more she spoke the more my heart sped up. “Its so confusing sometimes. I am proud of my work, don’t get me wrong, but I regret so many things in my life. I wish I would have trusted my gut as far as Jonathan and Nicole Powers were concerned. That one decision took away my freedom and I could have walked away a long time ago. My parents always sheltered me, so I had no idea what kind of life came with fame. I’m not meant for it, and I’ve spent my entire adult life dreaming of coming home.” She lifted a hand to wipe a tear away. “I know I’m being crazy, but I can’t help but to blame Jonathan and Nicole for what happened to Callie. If only I would have come home and spent more time with Callie.” Those unbelievable eyes looked over and met mine again. “I’m sorry I’m rambling. Oh gosh, this is so embarrassing.” She wiped both of her eyes and sat up straight, like she was composing herself. “You’d think by now and with all the acting I’ve done I could control my emotions a little better. I can make myself cry for emotional scenes, but I can’t gain any control of them in real life. I’m so sorry, I don’t know why I dump all this…”
I placed my hand on her shoulder, and she stopped talking mid sentence. “Don’t apologize for grieving. This is all still very fresh and eventually you’ll adjust. The grief doesn’t leave, you kind of learn to…” I couldn’t find the perfect words for a moment. “For the lack of a better term, you learn to live with it. It’s too early in this process to learn how to do that just yet.”
Her shoulder was bare, and it was the first time I felt her soft warm skin. I knew in that moment I was going to hell for letting that small bit of contact as she was crying to shoot straight for my cock.
Her lips parted as I was once again held captive in those eyes. I just may have made a grave mistake by suggesting she stay with me. I didn’t even know yet if I liked the girl, and I certainly didn’t trust her, but I fucking wanted her. I wanted her under me, and wanted my cock to be rooted deeply inside her. I wanted my lips to brush against that soft skin and I wanted to taste her. Shit, I didn’t want to just fuck her, I wanted her in my bed where I would take hours and hours to learn what pleasured her most. To hear her moans and feel her legs wrapped around me. I was slowly learning there was a huge difference between the Morgan on screen and the Morgan that was trying to find comfort in me. The one sitting next to me was far more beautiful and she had some sort of invisible warm light about her that shot straight through me. There was a comfort that reminded me of what it was like to be held by my dad when I was little, and he would read to me. He tried so hard to play the role of mother and father. The man succeeded and I hadn’t felt the comfort I was experiencing since long before my father died. My brain was scrambled and the fact that I felt comfort from someone I didn’t trust was as confusing as hell.
Her lip escaped her teeth and what she said next hit me like a bomb. “Addie needs me to be strong for her. I’m going to be a mother to her, and she is now my top priority. I can’t let her find me crying all the time. I’m afraid if she sees my weakness she won’t ever feel safe.”
I knew that feeling, but at the same time visualizing Morgan holding Addie in her arms and comforting her sent a pain through my chest. Like it was the absolutely most beautiful thing I would ever witness. They say love at first sight is a myth, but the moment I laid eyes on Addie something happened inside me. I felt an overpowering need to protect her and chase away every hurtful thing life could do to her. My mind was boggled down ever since the incident at the motel. It was filled with confusing feelings and thoughts about both of them. I knew I had to say something to Morgan in reply to what she just said, but I also had the same fears. “I can’t count how many missions I was on where I knew we were all toast, but I had to stay strong for my brother’s. Weakness could spread like a disease, and that meant life or death. I stopped trying to predict how the situation could end and kept my focus in the moment. I’m not a parent, in fact I only really know Granger’s kids, but I think it’s impossible to always stay strong. This stays between us, but there’s always periods after every mission where I allow myself time to experience the emotions that naturally come in hard circumstances. After every mission I take off on my bike for a few days. Its like I’m seeking something. Maybe it’s peace or comfort, I don’t know but it helps. I can only imagine that you’d have to carve out time for yourself in the same way as a parent. It may not be taking off for days, but maybe at night when she’s sleeping or however you can carve out time for yourself. Right now, you aren’t just dealing with grief but trauma as well and I hope you allow Bolton to help you in the coming days. She has helped a lot of my brothers through some traumatic experiences.”
She looked at the building sight for a moment then turned her head and captured my eyes once more, except that time they were filled with unshed tears. I felt like I was being gutted and those tears suddenly made me feel a wave of nausea that quickly passed. That was when I realized the look of trauma and grief in her eyes made me physically ill. I had to build the walls she was slowly tearing down back up before I let the lustful attraction I felt toward her take over. I never wanted a woman as bad as I wanted Morgan Rossi. Shit, Morgan fucking Rossi of all people. The last woman on earth I ever should have been lusting over. The very example of the type of person I tried to avoid at all costs. She was rich, famous, and…fuck…those things weren’t what made her who she was. She wasn’t like other people from my mom’s circle. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I was looking in those eyes and what they were silently telling me was the last thing I wanted to realize. Morgan Rossi was not Hollywood. She was everything I loved about women with a side of something more that drove me fucking insane. Fuck! Was it manipulation? Was I just falling for whatever she was trying to sell me?
“I guess maybe you’re right.” She said.
Fuck yeah I was right. The next thing that came to mind was putting Addie in bed then helping Morgan through those emotions in the form of hot sweaty sex where she would cry out my name in ecstasy. I could only imagine that she would be almost too tight, wet and so fucking warm I’d never want to pull out of her. Jesus, what if those tits were real? It took everything I had in me not to grab her face and slam my lips against hers just to get a small taste of her.
“Creed, are you okay?” She asked.
I realized I was gripping on to the steering wheel and my jaw was so tightly clenched it became painful. I had no answer and tried way too damn hard not to tell her I wanted to pull her into my arms and everything I could to give her the comfort she needed, then slide my dick inside…fuck! I couldn’t even keep any sort of sanity long enough to answer with a real fucking reply. Then another reality hit me. The woman I was lusting after was almost murdered less than forty eight hours prior and a rage came over me. I could see bruises and noticed she would wince at times when she moved. She was trying to be brave and strong while all I could do was lust over her.
“Oh gosh, you’re not having one of those flashbacks veterans get, are you? I am so sorry. I’ve sat here and had my own pity party but didn’t think how talking about such emotional things might hurt you. You’re helping me and I’m being so selfish.”
She thought she was selfish? She was pouring her heart out while I got lost in thoughts I had no business having.
“No, I’m not and I don’t have those the way you think. I’m fine, I was just thinking of how much…well…what it was like finding Addie the other night. I’m just dealing with some anger, sorry.” It wasn’t a total lie.
I’ve experienced and witnessed a lot of things in my lifetime. Kids being blown up, my buddies bleeding to death in a warzone, Bolton being raped, being held captive, being beat until an inch of my life, but nothing haunted me more than the hollow lost look in my father’s eyes after Nicole Powers ripped him of his soul. He allowed a woman to ruin his life, and he was stuck as a single dad. Things could have been different for him after she left. He could have left me with nannies and sent me off to boarding school in Europe. Instead, my dad was there for every milestone. He stopped living for himself and dedicated his life to me, then I ripped his heart out. I never understood it until I held little Addie all night as she whimpered and cried for her mother. It was all fucking with my head, and I couldn’t get anything straight. Then I looked at a woman who was in reality a stranger, and I experienced some kind of need I couldn’t understand. Ever since I felt her presence on that fucking plane, I hadn’t been right in the head. Something had to give, and I had no idea what I was doing. All I knew was I had a certain motorcycle gang to deal with, but after that I could somewhat go back to my life as I knew it. Addie though, well that little girl would be a weight I carried in my chest for the rest of my life. Just like everything else, I would just have to learn to live with that weight. Holding her all night and comforting her made me feel like the most important person on earth. I was needed by a little girl, and I couldn’t have ripped myself away from her if I tried. It felt like the most important mission of my life.
“Okay. So, what do you want to show me next?” Morgan asked.
My dick! “Well, you’ve pretty much seen it all. If you’re hungry we can hit the mess hall. Unless you don’t feel like being around people. I can always order dinner and have Felicity deliver it.”
She rolled her eyes. “Those are the only two options?”
“I heard about Felicity this morning.” I said in a sigh. “I’m sorry I didn’t warn you. Felicity can be very insecure at times, but she’s not a bad person. She’s been to hell and back, so she’s somewhat protective of the life she has found in this community. She will warm up to you when she realizes you’re not a threat to her.” At least I hoped Morgan wasn’t a threat.
“Well, I thought about it, and I may have instigated some of it. I’m very selective who I spend my time around and I judged the girls living here. It’s just hard for me because I’ve been fooled more than once to trust someone then they run off to the tabloids to make money off me. Before I figured out they weren’t actually being paid for sex, my gut feeling told me if they were willing to sell their bodies for money, they’d sell my story for money as well. I shouldn’t have talked down to her like I did.”
What she said suddenly caused a wave of understanding to hit me. She was right, and despite the fact that she was spoiled, she probably wasn’t as snobby as I believed. Maybe people confuse snobbishness with how she was guarded and cautious for good reason. She tried to explain it before but it all became suddenly clear. She was constantly in protective mode.
“We could hit the commissary and maybe get some groceries.” I suggested. “I’m sure you don’t want to hit the mess hall or order food morning, noon, and night.”
Her eyes suddenly lit up. “Yes! That’s a great idea. I’ll make dinner tonight. That’ll help distract me and I can get the supplies I need to do some baking when I’m alone at your place. Baking can sometimes be like therapy for me.”