Burdened
Creed
“You better not be telling me he’ll never walk again.” I paced as the doctor explained McLaughlin’s condition.
“With this kind of spinal injury, it will be impossible.” He didn’t even soften the blow. “He’s also not out of the woods yet. His condition is critical, and he has a high chance of complications from the surgery. These first twenty four hours can tell us a lot but he has a far way to go before I’d say he’s out of the woods. He has several internal injuries that we were able to repair, but he does still have a brain bleed that we were able to drain. If he survives, he will be paralyzed.”
I looked at Axton. “What the hell do we do now? We can’t just trust the VA to take care of him. Where will he go once he’s done at rehab?”
Axton lifted his shoulders like he had no fucking clue. McLaughlin had no family that was worth a damn. I ran my hand down my face again and of course, no beard. “Shit!” I put my hands on my hips and looked out the window. “What about the girl?” I didn’t even turn around to look at the man.
“Brain injury. We are waiting on family, and they’ll have a few decisions to make.”
I turned and looked at him. “Like whether or not to keep her on the ventilator?”
He gave me a hesitant nod.
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “How old?” I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.
The doctor cleared his throat. “She just graduated college this spring. She is twenty two and wants to be a journalist. At least that’s what the parents said as they were catching a flight and called in for an update. I’m not on her case, but I did read her file this morning.”
That hit me in the gut. So damn young and full of dreams. I was going to order a fucking helmet for Morgan. She wasn’t getting back on my bike until she had one.
I looked at Axton. “Please tell me he was paid up on his auto insurance.” That was his responsibility, not ours.
He shrugged. “I don’t watch the prospects finances. You’re forgetting what he has done, Creed. He’s going to have to face the justice system. He will face charges if he lives.”
“You mean his fucking life is over no matter what happens!” I walked out and slammed the door behind me. I couldn’t hold my shit together in front of that doctor. Two young lives were over because of one stupid decision.
I marched out of that hospital, but Axton came running up behind me in the parking lot. “Chill out.” He said and I stopped to look at him.
“That prospect is almost thirty fucking years old! She is practically a child, and now, her parents have to make one hell of a hard decision. One that no parent should have to make. I feel gutted for those people. Not to mention the fact that McLaughlin might as well die! How will he live with himself? Not just because he'll probably do time, and he will never walk, but he took an innocent life! That’s someone’s child laying up there!” I paced as I yelled. “We take these guys in and try to give them what they need. He was going to make some damn good money and have a chance at a future, but he gave it up for one night of young pussy. What the fuck now? Do we stand by him and hire an attorney or let him rot? Because right now, I don’t see a reason to do shit! He killed that innocent girl!”
“Call Sergio, see what he says.” Axton was just as torn up as me.
“Sergio is a corporate attorney, formerly a JAG, what the hell will he know? He got out and went a completely different direction. He isn’t a defense attorney in civilian court.” I stopped pacing and put my hands on my hips. “What about the girl? She deserved better and her parents are going to suffer. It’s out of our hands, we can’t save her or take their pain away. He was sober when he decided to go against orders. I’m just so fucking pissed at all four of them. I can’t make any decisions right now. I’m supposed to be home with Morgan and Addie. Not dealing with this fucking shit.”
I kept thinking back to the day Morgan wanted a helmet. Fuck, I was such a prick to her. I was surprised she was willing to ever give me a chance after I treated her life like it was nothing.
“Go home to Addie and Morgan. You’ve got six weeks to do what you need to do. I’ll call Magnus and we will handle this problem. It’s something I have to get used to doing since you’re leaving.”
I gave out a sarcastic laugh. “Yeah, six weeks to make them mine then just leave for God knows how long. I’m being selfish and it’s not fair to either one of them.”
“Fuck that, Creed. We all saw it happen the minute you met Morgan. Like I said before, I don’t know much about relationships, but we all see it. You aren’t trying to work yourself to death anymore. You’re taking time for yourself and it’s about damn time. I’m going to make a suggestion you won’t like, but it’s a good idea.”
“What’s that? Turn my back so more of this shit happens?” I felt like everything would fall apart while I was deployed.
“Promote Jennings or have Irons step up. Make him your assistant for now so he can handle some of this shit. When you leave he can be mine until you return. In the meantime, take some time for Morgan and Addie. Go to California and focus on them. You have to do this, Creed. I saw your disappointment every week at mail call. You said it never bothered you that you never got a damn thing, but the disappointment on your face said otherwise. Sure, your dad wrote, but not that often. At least I had my sister. We all had someone but then your dad died, and you had nobody. Now you’ll have a damn hot woman and adorable girl waiting for you, writing to you, and you’ll have someone to call like we all did. It’s not selfish, they want you as much as you want them.”
I took a deep breath. “I haven’t even slept with her yet. It’s still new and she might meet someone else.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “Am I insane? I am crazy for Morgan, and I want to be a part of Addie’s life, and I barely know them.”
He threw his hands in the air. “I don’t know, Creed. We’ve all envied Granger. None of us ever wanted to admit it, but we all secretly want what he has at home. Stephanie is like a sister to us, and we see them day in and day out. They’re happy and they love this community. I think there’s a part of all of us that wants what they have and we all like Morgan. Genuinely like her, not just her movies or the fact that she’s hot as fucking hell. Damn those…”
“Watch what you say there.” I warned him.
He groaned. “Fine, you’ve got a real chance at an amazing woman. You’d be crazy not to go for it. You could have what Granger has and that’s pretty damn amazing.”
“You forgot Addie. I know I should keep my distance, so she doesn’t get too attached before I leave, but it’s hard. I want to be here and protect her. It’s unfair to her because I know I make her feel safe. That’s all she wants from me, just someone to keep her and Morgan safe.”
He crossed his arms. “Then go make them as safe as you can while you’re still home. Morgan isn’t a barracks bunny, she’s a damn good woman and she won’t leave you. Addie will be fine, so grab life by the balls and take what you need. I’ll take care of things here, you go deal with Darren then head home.”
I left the hospital then had to go deal with Darren. When I walked into the Sheriff’s office Darren was less than pleased and that was for a good reason.
“Come with me.” Darren wasn’t fucking around, and he was pissed. He shut his office door behind me then leaned against his desk. “We’ve got a mess.”
I sighed. “Yeah, it’s a fucking mess alright. The girl isn’t expected to survive, and McLaughlin won’t ever walk again, and that’s if he makes it through the night. I know it’s out of your hands and part of me wants to help him and the other part wants to strangle him. Not just him but his buddy and my guards. Both guards were already handed their walking papers, and so was Fox. I guess the prospects bribed the guards somehow. They’ve been replaced and I made an example out of them.”
“Her name is Katie and I’ve known her since the day she was born. Her parents are Steve and Connie Hildebrand, and Steve is a close friend of Tanner’s. I had to make the fucking call nobody wants to make to any parents, let alone an old family friend. They were on a cruise in the Caribbean. Not only have I known her parents my whole life, but now I have two nieces grieving.” He took in a deep breath. “Katie was Savannah’s best friend since preschool, Creed!” He started to pace. “I was the first on scene. Fuck, I saw Katie and went into panic mode. I thought Savannah was in one of those ditches. Then Tanner came rolling in and he lost his shit. Twice now he’s got the call for a run and one of his kids were somehow affected.” He paused a moment and deflated. “Savannah will be fine, but still, the reputation of your MC is going downhill. The people of Cold Springs weren’t happy when you bought the lake and made it private. You managed to win them over, but now they’re going to have second thoughts. They see you as harmless but now I don’t know how they will react. What I’d like to know is how you’re keeping Morgan and Addie safe when two of your prospects left Creed’s Lake on their bikes. If they got out during lockdown, how are you going to keep someone from entering?”
I stopped pacing and drew in a deep breath. It was an unnecessary stress to add to all the other stress I was dealing with already. “I’m going to have a come to Jesus with my men. It isn’t just the two security guards I need to deal with, Simpson was on surveillance and either didn’t do his fucking job, or the guards helped bypass the camera somehow. I’ll deal with him as well when I get back.”
He sat behind his desk. “What do you plan to do with McLaughlin? He is facing charges.”
I deflated as I sat in the chair across from him. “What do you suggest? He broke orders, broke the law, and most likely killed someone and will be paralyzed. I might be his boss but when it comes down to it, we are an MC and supposed to treat him like a brother. Can I really just abandon him?”
He sighed then sat back in his chair. He still looked just as defeated as me. “Technically, he’s not a member of your MC. He was a prospect, and he also wasn’t on payroll. Supporting him may also cause a rift between the town and the MC. On the other hand, he has a hell of a service history. That also comes with a hell of a lot of trauma. I don’t know, take it to a vote. You’re between a rock and a brick wall. You can either save your reputation with the town, or support a fellow veteran. Both have consequences. You can’t make that decision on your own.”
“A few months ago, I might not question it, but lately I’m…I don’t know…going soft I guess. I think about him not having anyone or a future and it kills me. But I need people that can be trusted in my community. I don’t even know if it’s the first time they’ve snuck out during lockdown.”
He picked up a pen and began tapping it on his desk, making me think he had something to ask or say. “A few months ago? As in before you met my niece? I saw how you were with her at Callie’s services, so be honest with me. What’s going on between you and my niece?”
I leaned back in my chair, but that didn’t help my comfort level, so I leaned my elbows on my knees. “I’ve not touched her if that’s what you’re asking.”
“But there is something. Even my brother saw it, the whole damn family did. I’ve known you for a few years now, I know your fucking secrets. You can’t buy her, Creed. So, I’d suggest stating your intentions and I can only urge you to be honest with me right now.” He didn’t sound pissed, just concerned.
I looked up at him. “I want her, not like…” I didn’t know how to word it. “Somehow her happiness and Addie’s have become my top priority. Anymore I live for Morgan’s genuine smile and laugh. I have this overwhelming need to protect them, and Morgan is all I think about anymore. It’s not like with other women. It actually…Jesus I can’t talk about this with you.” I sat back and rubbed the back of my neck.
“Give it a better try.” He deadpanned.
I looked at him and suddenly it was clear. “I think I’ve found the one and only person that could give me what I’ve needed my entire life.”
“What’s that, Creed?”
I shook my head and stood. “I…I don’t know.”
“Yes you do, you’re just afraid to admit it.” He leaned back in his chair and bit the end of the pen.
“Something unconditional. She can…I swear she sees right through all my bullshit. I don't even have to tell her things, it’s like she already knows me. I want her but not the way I wanted other women in my past. I want Morgan in every part of my life, and Addie is a bonus.”
He stood and walked over to a window. “Morgan has always been special. I was only twelve when she came into this world.” He turned to look at me with a smile. “I remember the day she was born. Tanner had the weight of the world on his shoulders, and he was only sixteen. Our family was turned upside down. My mom wanted Tanner and Jenny to consider adoption, she was actually set on it. My dad wanted to support Tanner and Jenny through college and help the baby. Jenny isn’t close with her family because they hated Tanner and demanded adoption. Needless to say, there was a lot of tension in that maternity waiting room. But then, Morgan was born and one look at her changed everything. What so many of us didn’t want, quickly changed into what every single one of us needed. I was just scared for my brother, and I knew he wanted that baby, so I supported what he wanted, but then she was placed in my arms and my whole world changed. I can’t imagine what it was like for Tanner. I promised that baby I’d always protect her, and I’ve done my best to do so, but there was one predator nobody could predict.” He gave me a sharp look and I suddenly knew what he was going to say. He knew everything. He knew about Nicole.
“How long have you known?” I asked.
“Since the moment you rolled into town. You have to imagine a lot of people know, it only takes a simple Google search. That woman and her slime ball husband took advantage of Morgan. My hands were tied. Morgan was an adult when she signed that contract, and it was iron clad. Morgan never wanted the fame, she just wanted the work. It was the world she knew because Jenny and Tanner thought they were doing the right thing for her.” He walked back over to his desk. “I like the idea of her living in your community, especially with Addie. I’m fine with you dating her but don’t do it if you can’t promise her a future. I’d suggest giving up the missions, stay planted, and focus on Morgan.”
I didn’t know how to tell him other than blurting it out. “I’ve been called back up. I leave in six weeks.”
His eyes darted to mine. “What the hell?”
I ran my hand down my face. “They won’t let me go and I feel like a prisoner. You already know I was called back once, well it’s not over. I have to leave them, and I don’t have a choice.”
“Shit, Creed.” He obviously had no words.
“I hate it, but what can I do about it?”
“Not a damn thing.” He understood my position.
“The situation with the Rejects will be handled by then, I can assure you that much, but that’s all I can say.”
He nodded. “The less you say the better on that subject, but just do what you have to do. What is she going to do? Go back to California or buy a place here?”
I smiled at that one. “I believe I’ve convinced her to stay at my place. She refuses to do so of she can’t contribute, so I’ll make her a resident and she can teach. We can use her at the training center, and she can help the home schooled children a few days a week. She has a lot to offer, and I think it’s perfect. We agreed to revisit her living situation when I return from deployment. The lockdown will be over by the time I leave, so she will have a lot more freedom. It should work out well for her.”
He shook his head. “Damn kid, I’m in your debt and so is Tanner, but I can’t help the McLaughlin situation. I’m sorry, my hands are tied on that one. What about Patrick, is he going to prospect?”
“I think he will, so I don’t know how Tanner will feel about it. He won’t take missions, but he will be a part of the MC and will have duties.”
He rolled his eyes. “That kid can’t keep it in his pants. I’m sure Club X will never be the same.” He chuckled.
“Yeah, he will have to wait a while to partake in most of that, but at least he will have something to occupy him between shifts in Clarity. Have you given anymore thought to prospecting?” I wanted Darren. He was smart, capable, and had connections.
“My term is up in January, I guess we will have to see. I’ve been asked to a special division of the State Police. My experience with negotiations has caught the eye of the Superintendent. He wants to form a S.W.A.T. team that’ll cover the counties between New Albany and Bloomington. It’ll be more of a support team for the local departments.”
I liked what I was hearing. “And let me guess, Carter isn’t against you prospecting?”
He chuckled. “You made a big mistake with that Fielding case.”
I sighed. “It was just a simple hacking job.”
“Yeah, one that hit the jackpot. Your little basement geniuses helped Carter bust that CSAM ring and did it clean enough that the prosecutors had air tight cases. They prosecuted a hundred fifty six men. He’s more than happy to utilize those skills again. Hell, it’s probably one reason he wants me to head this up for them. He knows we have a few shadows as back up. It’s a fucked up world when the State Superintendent can’t do his job with all the limitations these new laws put on him. There’s some shady people living free in Indiana to create more victims and he can’t do a damn thing about it under the thumb of the law. You’re not going to stay a secret from state level agencies all over the country for long at this rate.”
I shrugged. “I’ve got the feds by the balls now. Its in their best interest to protect us at this point.” I already had government contracts, so I wasn’t worried about it. I just had to be careful with what was asked of us and what we agreed to do. Recon mostly, which wasn’t a big deal.
“Without telling me more than I need to know, what’s up with the Rejects?” He asked.
“Sniper wants out. He was on a trip to Ohio to get the cash from another chapter to buy them out of the cartel. Shane was running with a rogue group, and he stole drugs from them, not Sniper. I’ve done my research and Sniper, AKA Caleb Masterson was a sniper in the army. Did two tours, got out less than two years ago, and went home to dad. He has a damn fine service record. His dad died and now Sniper is Prez. He doesn’t want it or it’s affiliation to drugs, but of course he feels he has a duty to his brothers. I think he wants to join the Fallen Angels and their business.”
He rolled his eyes and sighed. “More prostitution and gambling. Just what we need in these parts. Can’t say they’re all that great either.”
“Sniper isn’t the enemy, it’s this rogue group. They pissed off the cartel so don’t be shocked if you start finding bodies. They tried to screw over the Rejects and the cartel wasn’t all that happy. I wouldn’t be surprised if you start seeing some of the gangs from the southwest make their way up here to straighten a few things out.” I was trying to set it up to where Caleb wouldn’t be a suspect.
“As long as they leave when they’re done, that’s all I can hope for, since the last thing we need is another MC that rides on the dark side. Do you have any agents in these southwestern gangs?”
I shook my head. “You know I can’t disclose that, Darren.”
In fact, I did and as soon as I identified those rogue members they’d be taken care of permanently.