Gorgeous
Creed
The hot water ran down my body as my hand slapped against the shower wall. Looking down at those gorgeous eyes as they looked up at me from that position was enough to make me explode. She was on her knees with those perfect fucking lips wrapped around my cock.
Jesus, her mouth felt amazing. She used one hand to stroke the part of me that didn’t fit in her mouth as she sucked then swirled her tongue around the tip then sucked again. My fingers guided her head slowly because if she went any faster I’d shoot one off down her throat.
I looked up at the ceiling then closed my eyes. “Just like that, baby. Fucking Christ, Morgan.” I tried to take calming breaths to hold off the explosion she would cause if she took me any deeper.
I looked back down, and my jaw dropped as I watched her head bob back and forth. “I love fucking that beautiful mouth of yours.”
Her eyes looked up at me again and I almost lost my control. She winked and fucking hell she was testing my limits. Then she removed her hand and cupped my balls before she took me even deeper. “Oh, fuck yeah, like that, do it.” I was losing control. She sped up and I could feel my balls tighten. “I need to come inside…oh shit. Morgan stop!” I grabbed her head and pulled my cock from her mouth before standing her up and turning her around. She looked back at me as both her hands rested on the shower wall. I grabbed my cock in one hand and pulled her hips back before slowly sliding deep inside her folds. I always loved it when she hissed in pain like that when I first entered her. I knew it was a good pain because she always gave me the sweetest smile. I pulled back out slowly, and ran the tip along her folds to tease her just a little.
“Creed, please.” She begged.
“Do you want me to come deep inside you?” I asked as I teased her opening.
“Yes please, please just do it.” She begged again.
I shut my eyes as I slowly slid back inside her. There was nothing like it in the world. She was soft, tight, warm and so damn wet with the best honey vanilla taste that was still on my tongue from earlier. I tasted her in the shower before she took my cock in her mouth. I slowly slid in and out of her. She needed to adjust, I could feel how tight she was and needed to be prepped for what was about to happen to her.
I looked down and my cock looked so fucking huge and I had no clue how the hell I fit, damn she was tight. “Are you ready?” I asked as I pulled out and slid my finger inside her to lubricate it.
“Please, Creed.” Damn, she begged again. I lined myself up and slid into her warmth once again. My finger waited just outside her ass as I gained momentum. Just as I felt her tighten around me, I slid my finger in, and she screamed. I pressed down inside her tight little ass, as my cock pounded into her pussy relentlessly.
“I love you!” She cried out as she took what I had to give, which was no mercy. She was coming so damn hard I was afraid her legs would give out. I had to use my free hand to hold on to her. She was freely crying out her pleasure because Addie was at the beach with Melissa and a few of my men. The rest were in the house, and I was more than happy to let them suffer as they heard the way I made that beautiful woman scream.
“Fuck!” I bit my lip as I felt it starting. “I’m not pulling out, Morgan. I’m not fucking doing it!”
“Inside me!” She cried out.
“Ahhh God, Morgan. Fuck!” I exploded deep inside her warm tight pussy and saw stars. My lungs pulled in another breath, and I exploded again. My legs almost gave out, but I was trying to hold us both up. I slowly removed my finger then leaned forward on her back and kissed her shoulder then up her neck.
“I love you, Creed.” That was like music to my ears.
“You have no idea, Morgan. I’d die for you.” It was true.
All I had to do was survive one last deployment and I could have her for the rest of my life. Someday soon, and if I survive my last deployment, Morgan would be my wife, and Addie would be my daughter…legally. I couldn’t wait until the day Addie stopped calling me big guy and started saying my real name…which would be daddy to her.
Morgan and I were supposed to be packing and getting ready. Addie and Melissa were already packed and ready to go to LA. We decided to reserve a hotel suite so we could take Addie and not drive her an hour home so late at night. Half my men would stay with Addie and Melissa, while the other half went with us.
I was ready before Morgan so I went on downstairs. She was still trying to choose what clothes to wear when I left. I poured a pretty shitty cup of coffee Jason made. That was one strike against him. I liked good coffee, but didn’t pack mine. I was stuck with Foldgers or some shit.
“Where’s Morgan? Recovering?” Rollins chuckled but Jason had a stone cold look on his face. Rollins was one of our first agents and loyal as loyal got.
“What’s wrong with you?” I asked Jason.
He shrugged. “Nothing.”
I nodded. “She’s a beautiful woman.” I smiled as I took a sip of my coffee.
“She’s not my type.” He spoke in a deep voice.
I lowered my cup. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I snapped at him.
“She’s not my type, as simple as that.” He still had a stone cold look about him.
I guessed I never realized Morgan wouldn’t be someone’s type. She was fucking gorgeous. I always thought I had a thing for blonds until I met Morgan.
“How the fuck is that possible? She’s got everything a man needs.” I was confused.
“Not a cock. I prefer cock, dude. I’m gay.” Jason’s eyes darted down to my cock.
Rollins spit out his coffee in a laugh and I dared the dude to keep staring at me. “Uh, eyes up here, buddy.”
His eyes met mine and he winked. “Do it again and you won’t have eyes.” I warned him.
Rollins was nearly on the floor laughing and Jason looked at him. “I like tight asses too, so please don’t feel left out.”
Rollins completely stopped laughing and looked at me. “He better not be talking about my ass. It’s a virgin and its staying that way.”
I burst into laughter when Rollins backed into the counter, strategically placing his ass as far away from Jason as possible.
“Chill out, I like my men a little more on the feminine side. Neither of you are my type, despite your good looks. Jesus, I don’t want to fuck you.” Jason was the most chill man I had ever met. He was a large bald man, at least six foot five, and he must have worked out daily because his arms were about as thick as my thighs.
“But…” Rollins scratched his head. “I thought you said I had a tight ass.”
I was laughing so hard I had to put my coffee mug down. We served with gay men, but never had one ever been so open with it. Hell, two of the men at Creed’s Lake lived together and they were definitely more than just roommates.
“I like a challenge, and you’d be too easy.” Jason said and I almost pissed myself. I couldn’t remember laughing so hard.
“What the fuck?” Rollins growled. “Are you saying I’m a whore?” Rollins was just joking, and I was about to die. Jason finally chuckled just a little.
“I’d leave you in two pieces and you’d never touch a woman again. I’d put money on it.” Jason was amused but not showing a whole lot of it.
“The fuck you would, Jesus you’re creepy.” Rollins was laughing.
“What’s going on in here?” Morgan walked into the kitchen looking as beautiful as ever.
“Jason wants Creed’s cock and my tight ass. He’s kind of scary, Morgan.” Rollins was acting scared.
Morgan walked toward me and waved her hand like she was dismissing what Rollins said. “Creed is all mine, do whatever you want to the other one, Jason.” She reached up and put her arms around me and I dove in and dipped her as we kissed.
“Lucky bastard.” Rollins said.
“Lucky bitch.” Jason’s deep baritone voice seemed disappointed and I laughed against Morgan’s lips. She did the same. We let go of each other and she went to pour some coffee.
We had been in Malibu for a few days. In that time, Morgan managed to invite a fashion designer to the house and have Melissa measured for perfectly fitted clothes. I tried to warn Morgan that it can be offensive when you throw your money around, but Melissa seemed okay with it. She also had Addie measured. We played with Addie on the beach, spent gobs of time in the pool with her, and we ordered meals out so we could enjoy the few days and not allow Morgan in the kitchen all day. Every morning, I did my endurance training in the ocean and ran on the beach. I had to keep it up to prepare for deployment.
We were headed to LA early because Morgan’s stylist was meeting her at the hotel. She said the dress was ordered months ago, but her weight gain might have brought a few problems. The seamstresses allowed for the weight gain, but they needed to make sure no last minute changes needed to be made. She also had hair and makeup arriving early. Hell, I was easy. My tux was in a garment bag, and I’d be ready rather quickly.
It wasn’t just the premier Morgan had to attend while on our trip. She had an appearance with Jake on a late night show, an interview with Entertainment Tonight, a photo shoot for the movie she made with Jake, and several other obligations. As far as Addie, she would stay with Morgan while she was getting pampered so I could do the last thing on earth I ever wanted to do. I had to meet with my mother for lunch at the hotel. She wouldn’t stop fucking calling me. She also showed up at the gates of Creed’s Lake several times. The goal was to tell her face to face to fuck off then I’d block her number. I was done, especially when I found out she took it upon herself to act like she was speaking for Morgan to the press. Thankfully, she hadn’t told them Morgan was dating her son yet, but I knew that was coming.
Addie was the cutest little jabber jaws all the way to LA. She told us all about her combat history. We heard all about the gross boys at school. She was definitely a little badass that needed to find a different way to let out her anger. Bolton was talking with her, but we were also trying to get through to her.
I made sure my girls were safely in our hotel suite before I made my way to the hotel restaurant. Morgan wasn’t too thrilled about it. She wanted to go with me, but it was something that needed to be done by myself.
I didn’t make it one foot into the restaurant before I cringed when I heard my given name. “Alistair, sweetie.” Nicole approached then tried to put her hands on me, but I stepped back.
“I agreed to meet with you, but that gives you no right to touch me.”
She lost her smile. “But I’m your mother.” She seemed so confused.
“You’re an egg donor, not a mother. Come on, let’s get this over.” I walked to the table she stood from and took a seat.
“I see your father didn’t teach you how to be a gentleman. You didn’t even push my chair in for me.” She pouted as she took a seat.
“My father taught me how to be a gentleman to a lady, and I don’t see you as much more than a thorn in my ass.”
She gasped as I looked at the menu. “I see he succeeded in turning you against me. He never treated me with the respect I deserved, and I can see that has rubbed off on you. I do hope you treat Morgan with more respect. I know you’re with her now, and she’s a darling girl. Maybe a little spoiled and entitled, but darling none the less.” She put her napkin on her lap.
“Don’t even breathe her name.” I snapped at her.
She smiled as her eyes locked with mine. “I am not your enemy, son. I am the woman that gave you life. I gave you forty weeks of free rent and eighteen hours of labor. All you gave me are stretch marks. I deserve more respect.” She hissed.
I set the menu down. “You want something from me. State it so I can get back to my life.”
She straightened the silverware in front of her as I took in her features. It may have killed me to admit it, but my mother was a very beautiful woman. Well, at least on the outside. She dyed her hair blond, despite the fact that she had red hair. Her eyes were similar to mine and her face looked tight, like she had one too many Botox shots. Honestly, she probably didn’t need it. Nicole Powers knew how to take care of herself, but only herself and nobody else.
“If you’d tone done your anger you’d realize I only want one thing, and that’s to get my son back. Your childhood was stolen from me, and I want to make up the time we lost.” She pouted.
“Bullshit Nicole. You want to use me against your own family, to gain some sort of notoriety from my relationship with Morgan, and to be everyone’s center of attention.”
My childhood was stolen from her? She could fuck off for just that one comment.
“You think too little of me and it’s unfair. You don’t even know me.” She was still pouting.
“That’s right I don’t know you. You took off, married some other man and didn’t even tell him I existed. You banned your family from knowing me, and almost ended my dad’s life. So don’t pull that shit on me. You are not a victim.” I spoke through my teeth in the lowest voice possible.
The server approached and I ordered a sandwich and told him our bills would be on two different tickets.
As soon as he walked away her eyes met mine. “You have two brothers that would like to meet you.”
Fuck that shit. I knew what she was up to, she wanted to dangle them in front of my face like she did to her father for so many years with me. “They’ve lived this long without knowing me. I think they’ll survive.”
“Why did you even meet with me if you were going to be so damn stubborn?” She finally snapped.
I sat back in my chair. “I have a few things that need to be said to you, and I expect this to be the last time you even think of me. I need to make a few things clear to you for once and for all.”
“You’re my son, of course I’ll think of you every day until I die.” She wasn’t that convincing.
“First of all, I’ve been called back up. In less than three weeks I’ll be deployed. My will is iron clad, and all you get is one dollar if I die and don’t you dare contest it. The rest will be split between my business partners and a young woman that’s just starting her college career. You don’t get a dime. You are also not listed as my next of kin. My vice president has power of attorney if anything happens to me. It’s important you know this because I am going into a war zone. This is probably the most dangerous mission of my life, and the chances of returning home safely aren’t on my side.”
She gasped. “But you retired. They can’t do that, Alis. No, they can’t do it. I won’t have it.”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re a horrible actress. Anyway, my power of attorney has been instructed to handle you if you as much as breathe Morgan’s name again. I am not a good man, Nicole. I have a past that would turn your stomach, so don’t doubt me. Stay away from the people I love and leave your father alone for God’s sake. He’s an old man that just wants to live out his days on his farm. The world doesn’t revolve around you, so get over it.”
She leaned forward. “Don’t tell me I can’t worry about my eldest son when he’s being sent off to die!”
“If that’s the case, then where the fuck were your letters every other time I was deployed? Where were you when I stepped off that plane and dad was the only person there waiting for me? Do you even know what my job was in the Army?”
She shifted uncomfortably in her chair. “You were a soldier, of course I know.”
“I was special ops. My team was so elite the president didn’t even know we existed. Do you know I was captured and stabbed, left to hang off chains as I was tortured in Afghanistan? Did you know I was left behind when the fucking president abandoned us when he ordered the entire military out of the middle east? Do you know I held a baby as it died in my arms? Did you fucking know I was chained up and forced to watch as terrorists raped my female team mate? You don’t know a goddam thing about me, so don’t act like it. Don’t act like you know I’ve been on thirty one fucking missions and my luck is running out just as I found happiness. I’m in love for the first time in my life and the fucking government is taking me away from her. So don’t waste what little time I have left with my girls just so you can have your little tantrum about daddy’s farm. A fucking farm you have no use for, dammit you make me sick. The world is a whole lot bigger than you.”
Her eyes were welling up with crocodile tears.
“Consider this your son’s last wish. Leave Morgan the hell alone. Stop fucking with your dad’s head, and be a mother to those two boys. You’re pretty damn lucky to have two sons when I don’t even get to have one. You never gave a fuck about me, so stop acting like you do.”
A tear fell from her eye. “I have three sons, not two.” She shut her eyes and took what I perceived as a calming breath before she opened her eyes and looked at me. “This is real? You’re really saying your goodbyes?”
“Unlike you, I don’t run away. I face it, even if it’s death. If our mission is successful, it will save countless people. I’m just one life, a small sacrifice for saving thousands.”
She shook her head as her shaking fingers tore the napkin in her hand into tiny pieces. “No, that’s not true. You’re not a small sacrifice. You’re my son.” She put her hand on her belly. “I can still feel your tiny little feet kicking in my belly. I can still hear your first tiny little cry, and I remember the way your father cried the first time he held you.” She broke down and cried a little harder. “You took your first steps when you were ten months old. Mama was your first word, and I can still feel when you would fall asleep right here.” She patted her chest. “I counted each one of those tiny little breaths and thanked God for every single one of them.” She wiped her tears away then wouldn’t look at me. “Excuse me, please don’t leave.” She stood and took off for the restroom.
I shook my head and sat back in my chair. I wasn’t going to let her fool me. She may have fooled my father, but I wasn’t as weak as him. My sandwich came and I started eating. I wasn’t too interested in staying much longer.
“Excuse me.” I looked up when my meal was interrupted by a young woman.
“I think I saw a woman leave your table. Was she your mother?”
I shrugged. “Something like that, I guess.”
“I just thought I should let you know she’s really sick in the bathroom. She’s throwing up.”
I gave her a nod. “I’ll give her a few minutes. Thanks.”
She tilted her head like she was confused over my lack of concern. “You’re welcome.” She turned and walked away.
I didn’t think much of it. Nicole abandoned me, tortured my father’s weak mind, kept me from her family, and only cared once she learned my dad died and I inherited his fortune. Not once did she hop on a plane to see me. Not once did she ask about my life. Everything was always about her and only her. One little melt down wasn’t going to persuade me to help her take what little her parents had left. I didn’t know them, but they were elderly and deserved better from their daughter. All I wanted was to spend every moment possible with my girls. Nicole needed to leave me alone.
I was done eating before she returned and sat across from me.
“You look like shit.” I pointed out. Her eyes were puffy, and she had almost no color left.
She nodded. “I guess that’s to be expected when the reality of your own behavior smacks you across the face. Not just once, but twice this week alone. I don’t want a thing from you, Creed. I don’t want the farm, and I don’t want your money. I know the way I approach people can turn them off, and I was cold to you when I’ve called you. I am not a good woman. I have three beautiful sons I don’t deserve. I have a husband that has dealt with my behavior for years, and the love of my life was killed in a plane crash. My selfishness almost ruined him, and I did indeed abandon you. It may have taken me twenty five years to see the error of my ways, and a cancer diagnosis, but the farm was never the reason I came to Indiana. Yes I was upset Kenny was buying the farm, but that was because it was never discussed with me. I was left out of that decision, and I see now why that’s the case. I made peace with my parents before I left Indiana, and I will return. Jonathan is upset by my diagnosis, but I guess I can say we both did some reflecting. It’s time you hear the truth about my marriage to your father, and that’s all I wanted to accomplish today.”
I leaned forward. “Did you say cancer diagnosis?”
She nodded. “I never smoked a thing in my life, but I guess lung cancer isn’t reserved just for smokers. They say I have a chance, but the more I reflect I can see that I have problems. Something isn’t right with my personality. None of this is an excuse. I wanted to meet with you so I can tell you in person and apologize. Hearing the true story about my marriage with your father won’t save our relationship, but I think it will help you more than anything.” She started to cry again. “I wasn’t expecting to hear what was happening with you. I wanted to help you, not hurt you.” She wiped away a tear.
“Okay, and what’s this true story of yours?” I wasn’t sure if I could believe a word she said.
“Your father was not weak, and what you saw in him wasn’t just about me. It was about her.”
I tilted my head. “Her?”
She nodded. “I am everything you think I am. I’m selfish, never wanted to live another day on that farm, and I had nothing to offer anyone, until I did. Then it became too much.” She paused and took in a deep breath before letting it out. “Her name was Elizabeth. She was everything I could never be, and she loved your father the way he deserved. When Elizabeth was in the room, nobody else existed. She was all he ever saw. He was such a handsome man. Older, but refined and set in his ways. We were both younger. Elizabeth’s brother played hockey for your grandfathers team, and Kenny loves hockey. I met Elizabeth years ago when her brother played hockey at Indiana University. I was with friends visiting and Elizabeth and I became friends. She met your father when her brother moved to Chicago to play professional. They were in love, but your father was much older. He was very hesitant to get involved with her, but when they did get involved they both fell hard. They kept their relationship a secret, but she told me all about it. Well, she became pregnant, he proposed and then the truth came out. Everyone learned about them and her family did not have the reaction she wanted. They argued, she took off in her car and crashed.” She paused again. “I lost the best friend I ever had that night.” She cried. “But I was still selfish. A few months after her death, Kenny sang at a hockey game in Chicago, and that’s when I saw him. He took my breath away, but he wasn’t the same man Elizabeth loved. He was harsh and drank way too much. His father was at his wits end.”
“Wait, she was pregnant?” I asked.
Nicole nodded. “Twelve weeks.” She hugged herself like she was admitting a painful truth. “I met your father and saw dollar signs. He met me and associated me with Elizabeth. He got drunk one night, we slept together, and I got pregnant with you.”
I didn’t know what to think. “So, you did marry him for money?”
“I married him because he had everything I needed. I had to get out of that small town, I was young and pregnant, but he was so beautiful. Yes, I liked his money and that was my focus at first, but then I felt you move. You were so active, and right away I knew you would be something amazing for this world. I’d look at your father and see the strongest and most brilliant man in the world. I fell so hard for him, and he got better with time. He was so excited about you. He wanted you so badly and maybe that helped me fall even deeper in love with him. I believe he loved me, but nothing like the way he loved Elizabeth. He would whisper her name when he made love to me, I found letters he was still writing her, and he would disappear for days at a time. I finally learned he was in Indiana visiting her grave. I read those letters and the one that hurt the most was the one he said he wished she was the one pregnant with you. I knew he was grieving, and it all happened with us before he was ready. I can’t describe the guilt that hit me every time he whispered her name in his sleep. He would have nightmares and scream for her. I tried to leave one night. I offered a divorce with no alimony or child support of he just let us go. I told him I could raise you on my own without his help. Being pregnant with you humbled me. There wasn’t anything in this world that mattered more than the baby I was carrying. I made a huge mistake, and my selfishness landed me in a world of the most guilt and grief a woman could feel. She was my best friend, and I betrayed her and took advantage of your father’s grief. I did it all to myself.”
“Why didn’t you divorce him?” Things were starting to make sense.
“He got on his knees and begged me to stay. He said I was his only sanity left, and he wanted us to be a family, and I broke down and told him the truth. That I targeted him for his wealth but then I fell in love. I knew I didn’t deserve his love. I felt too guilty to stay and I regretted taking advantage of him. I left and went to California. He hunted me down and begged me to come home. Said that he loved me and would never let me walk away. I agreed and we decided to try and make it work. But then you were born and my God, you were so perfect. He was so happy, and it was like you healed him of all that grief. He wouldn’t put you down for anything, not even for me to breast feed you when he was home. I pumped and he fed you. I no longer existed. I was only needed while he was at work. I wasn’t jealous of you, I loved you so much it scared me. I was losing you to him. One night I woke up and he was holding you in the nursery. I listened to all the promises he was making. Then it changed. He was telling you a story about the most beautiful angel named Elizabeth. That she was meant to be the best mother in the world until she was taken away from him. He apologized to you for not giving you a better mother. He said I was selfish, and all the ladies of high society laughed at me, but they all would have loved his sweet angel, Elizabeth. The next day I filed for divorce again, but he begged and pleaded. He reminded me of the prenuptial agreement and that I would lose you.” She reached in her handbag and slid some papers wrapped in a blue one toward me. “I was pregnant, young, selfish, and stupid when we got married. I signed that thinking I’d never need a divorce. Read it.”
I reluctantly opened it and read it through. It stated if a divorce occurred, my father would get custody of any children born into their marriage. There it was, my father’s signature.
“This does not excuse my selfishness. I want to make that clear. After agreeing to stay once again he got better, for awhile, but then it was like a switch flipped inside me. This protective armor came up around me and I began acting out. Very much like I did as a child. I demanded attention, I became…I don’t know…I think you were around three when I began distancing myself. I knew I already lost you. He always said he loved me and needed me to stay, but he might have been saying some of that as a truth, but then I had a miscarriage. Everything shut off at that point. I didn’t want to feel anymore. I felt so guilty because it was a little girl, and I knew my lies resulted in that miscarriage. I had myself convinced it was karma. I was five months pregnant, and I became lost in myself. Your father hired your nanny, and I was an after thought. I left again and ran to my brother, but that time I met someone. There was nobody else in his life. He had no children, he even liked my flaws. He didn’t know about you. He knew about your father but not you. I was too numb, and I couldn’t let him see my selfishness to that extent. You were better off with your father. I made every excuse as to why I could leave you. I was shut off, my emotions went numb when it came to you. I didn’t want to love you anymore because of those papers in your hand. The only emotion I had left to give when it came to that situation was my hatred for your father, but that hatred was born from love, and I still love him to this day. I left and he offered me more money not to ever come back.” She reached into her purse and handed me another set of papers. “This is our divorce agreement. It shows what he offered me.” She slid me an envelope with my father’s handwriting on it. “This is his last letter to me. He mailed it to me the day he made the attempt.”
She sat quietly as I read through the divorce agreement. Then I opened the letter.
Dearest Nicole,
You are and always will be my wife. I love you, and I know I’ve created the woman you are today. I withheld our son from you, and now I’ve lost everything. It’s been three years and the ghost of you is still with me. You’re married to him now, and I have to let you go, which is the hardest damn thing I have ever done. I put a ghost before you, and I destroyed you. It’s too late to fix what I broke with us, and that nearly kills me every single day. I can’t live with all the grief I suffer from any longer. I lost Elizabeth, our child, then you and our daughter. I am the reason our baby girl died. I put too much stress on you, and made you think our loss was your fault. Grief is a powerful thing and I’m sorry my grief for Elizabeth slowly killed what good you had inside you. He will need you now. Please come home and get him. Be the mother I never allowed you to be, he deserves better than what I can give him. I love you, and I hurt you, but please don’t blame him.
I decided not to read the rest and looked up at her. “Why didn’t you come?”
“I had my bags in the car and Jonathan was driving toward the airport when your father called. He survived the attempt and decided to stick to our agreement. I filed for custody the next day, but it didn’t make it far. I signed those papers. I did all the damage, not him. He was a broken man, and I took advantage of him. This…” She pointed at the papers. “Was the result of my actions. I was nineteen when I got pregnant with you. He was thirty four, and I still had the maturity of a spoiled child.”
Jesus, dad! Nineteen? What the fuck? “You could have reached out when I was eighteen.” I didn’t understand, but was also hung up on the fact that my mother was only what…fifty? I had operatives older than her.
Her eyes grew. “What right did I have to do that? I left you, I made the choices I made, and I am not a good mother. Not to you or your brothers. Now I’m sick and it’s too late. The damage is done.” She reached over and put her hand over the papers. “I am not showing you this to gain your sympathy. I’m sick and this might be my last chance to be a good mother. You need to know that you are worth loving. That your mother might be selfish, but she loves you. Definitely not the way you wanted, but you are in here.” She patted her hand over her heart. “I was never good at making friends, and I’m a greedy woman. You didn’t deserve that kind of mom. You deserved the mother I was when I first brought you home from the hospital.”
I stared at her and was still back on the whole age gap thing. I knew he was older, but shit. Nineteen years old? He was older than I was at that time. I couldn’t imagine screwing around with a nineteen year old. It was actually kind of twisted and sick.
“I’m still stuck on your age. What the hell was he doing screwing around with a child?”
She tilted her head. “Elizabeth was four months older than me.”
I had to shove that back to process later. “So, was this truly your motive today or was it to destroy his image in my eyes?”
“Alis, no. I have no desire to make a good man sound like a…” She searched for the words.
“Pedophile?” I asked and her eyes grew.
“God no, he was no such thing. Times were different in those days.” She said.
“Bullshit Nicole. They were not that much different in the nineties.”
She looked disappointed. “Regardless of what you think of the age difference, he was a good man. He lost the love of his life, and I took advantage of that, but he never stopped the good things he did for this world. He was a good father to you, and that’s what matters. This wasn’t supposed to be about him. It was supposed to be about you. This is over a decade too late. I should have told you when you became of age. I should have come to speak with you then, but I didn’t want to disrespect your father, because he was the one that raised you. I guess I hoped you would come to me when you were ready, and I have a gift of putting things that hurt out of mind. It was better for me to go on with my life and try to forget my baby boy. I realize now that none of it should have been about us, your father and me. It was about you. I realized my selfishness probably made you feel like I thought you were unworthy, when it's the other way around. I realized that I might not survive this disease, and I couldn’t go to my grave with these secrets. I’m asking for your forgiveness, not for my benefit but yours. I’ll always have this guilt, but even if you walk out of here and never speak to me again, that’s fine. I deserve that, but you do not. The young woman that gave birth to you hardly exists anymore, and you suffered most for that. Your father was right, you deserved a mother like Elizabeth would have been for you. I can never be that kind of mother. I’m owning up for my mistakes, not just to you but to everyone. I learned of my cancer right before I saw you at the funeral. If I would have been a good mother I would have fought for you. I would have stayed in that marriage, but I was selfish and demanded too much. To be honest, as I look back at it now, your love was all I ever needed. I was a silly girl that believed I deserved more, but Alis, you were all I needed all along. I didn’t just cheat you out of a mother, I cheated myself out of the truest love of my life. He was born thirty two years ago come this September.”
I sat back and crossed my arms. “So let me guess, this selfishness is now behind you?”
She gave me a guilty smile. “That selfish young lady grew up to be a spoiled woman. I have more amends to make, but I know me. I know I’ll always wonder what’s in it for me. Mostly attention, I guess. I always have an overwhelming need to matter, and I’ve not quite figured out how to let that go, it’s somehow embedded in me. It always has been, and I suspect it always will be, and I’m just trying to be honest. Speaking of that, I need to speak with Morgan.”
I shook my head. “That’s not a good idea.”
She sighed. “I may have taken advantage of her, and I’d like to apologize. She’s a darling young woman and she didn’t deserve what I did to her. The girl may be an amazing actor, but she was never meant for Hollywood. She is too pure of heart for this cesspool of greedy and shameless people like myself.”
“And what about Jonathan? He was a part of it as well.” I asked.
“He’s not exactly remorseful. He’s also a little preoccupied with his next movie and the boys. Your brothers aren’t doing that good, Creed. We haven’t been the best parents.” She paused then reached into her purse for her wallet, then eventually pulled out two pictures. “Weston got arrested two days ago.” She laid his photo down then pinched the bridge of her nose before mumbling something.
I leaned forward. “Sorry, I didn’t catch that last part.”
She sighed then glared down at his photo. “It was indecent exposure and assault. Thank God he is a juvenile and won’t need to register as a sex offender.”
“Jesus, what the hell did he do?”
She cleared her throat. “He took a dare when he was with friends and spotted Justin Bieber.”
I leaned forward. “Go on.” I knew it had to be good.
“Your brother managed to get close and proceeded to moon the man and ask Mr. Bieber to suck his ass. Then got the bright idea to pass gas, except Weston suffers from irritable bowel syndrome. Needless to say, more happened than just breaking wind. He was charged with indecent exposure and the unfortunate little IBS surprise landed him with assault charges.”
I leaned back in my seat. “You’re telling me, my little brother shit on Justin Bieber?” Maybe I was having a good day after all. That gave me bragging rights, correct?
“I wouldn’t say he did it on him per se, but more like projectiled and landed right in front of his feet.” I could see she was still angry.
I burst out in laughter, but she was obviously unamused.
“Karter is another story.” She changed the subject. “He wanted to be an actor, but getting a girl pregnant at sixteen hinders those plans.”
I froze. “Wait, he’s having a kid?”
“She’s fifteen and due in October.” She rolled her eyes. “Do you know how bad this looks for me?”
I lost all my amusement and glared at her. “Are you serious? You just told me how you struggle with selfishness then say that to me? He’s a child and it’s his life that’s ruined. You’re going to be a grandmother, and you have cancer. I’d think you would be more concerned with his future than your reputation. What about the kid, can he take care of a child?”
She sighed. “You’re right. It’s not about me…well at least not as much as it’s about them. Anyway, I seriously doubt it. The boy is more concerned with his vanity than anything. He’s a handsome kid, but his priorities better change real quick. Put it this way, Weston has the higher GPA out of the two.”
I shook that off then changed the subject to her prognosis and treatment plan.