23. Collins
Chapter 23
Collins
R iley’s brows knit, confusion swirling in his deep brown gaze while Creed rears back as if I’d slapped him. “No?”
“I can’t, Creed.”
He smirks at me. Fucking smirks as he says, “I wasn’t exactly asking, Stardust .”
I scoff at his brass balls for pulling the possessive alpha bullshit again. “You can’t just order me to drop everything and follow you around on your tour bus. I have a job. A life?—”
“Collins, I’m going to be really fucking honest with you, and I’m telling you ahead of time, it’s not to hurt or to offend you.” Which means that’s exactly what his words are going to do. I roll my eyes but sit silent and wait for him to continue.
“I’m not going to pretend to know what your life has been like for the last two years, but from what I’ve gathered, your job fucking sucks.”
I open my mouth to argue, because fuck this, but he holds a hand up and continues, “ You, are talented as fuck. You deserve to be performing in a space that’s safe, where you don’t have to fear your boss or the fuck-wads he considers to be his ‘valuable’ members. If it’s the performing that you love about that club, then I’ll swear to you that we’ll take you to a studio every goddamned day that we’re on the road so that you can perform. Or, I don’t know, fuck, we can build a set for you to dance on stage while we perform because you’re just that good, Stardust .”
His bright eyes glimmer with the truth behind his words and my heart warms and squeezes painfully at his conviction and his thoughtfulness. Fuck, he’s making it hard to stick to my answer, but I won’t—I refuse to bring trouble to his doorstep.
But apparently I’m a sadist because I can’t help but ask anyway, “You’d do that for me?”
He gives me a look that says are you crazy? But instead he smirks and says, “Of course I would.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to just say Fuck it and just give in, but, “I—I can’t , Creed. I have to pay Tank, I can’t just pick up and leave.”
“Collins—”
“No, there are other things you don’t understand. Things I can’t and won’t expose you to.”
“So help me understand! Tell me, because there must be something deeper that’s keeping you here. Something you’re not sharing.” His voice is nearly shouting, but I think it’s more out of frustration than it is anger at me. Riley bristles beside him and knocks his knee against Creed’s and shoots him a warning glare. Creed reads it and takes a slow breath, his shoulders slumping a bit when he looks at me again, his voice calm once more. “Give me the truth, and don’t you dare lie to me Collins Adaire Weston. I know you, and your self-sacrificing heart. If something is going on, tell me, and we can help you.”
I close my eyes for a moment, gathering and organizing my thoughts. Do I dare to share everything going on in my life? About the threats looming over my head? If I do, Creed will definitely put a fucking collar on me and drag me away with him on a short, tight leash.
Would being protected by Creed be so bad, though ?
“Collins?”
I open my eyes to see two sets of eyes watching me. Waiting patiently.
I really don’t want to dump my burdens on Creed, or Riley for that matter, but I know that the former will not relent until I’ve given him the information he’s seeking.
“I can’t leave Viper because I’m in debt with Tank.” I blurt out.
Both guys are stony faced, but Riley speaks, his voice low and carefully calm “How much?”
“What? No, I don’t—” I shake my head, swallowing hard. “I don’t know.”
“You don’t know? Or you won’t tell me?” That was Creed this time.
“Both,” I answer quickly. A lump forms in my throat when I think about the shit I’ve landed myself in and a feeling of hopelessness blooms and spreads throughout my body, settling low in my gut. “The things that Tank had mentioned last night,” I start, hoping Creed would remember without having to recount the painful memories out loud. Luckily, he nods and my body relaxes, but not much. “There’s…some truth to that.”
My eyes flick to Creed's hands that are now clasped together, his knuckles squeezing so hard they’re turning white. I raise my gaze, sweeping over the men seated across from me. Creed’s jaw ticks, working back and forth, silently fuming while Riley looks utterly lost. I don’t have the energy to recount the whole story though. Not today, at least.
I push myself to continue. “When I refused to…comply with Tank’s new rules on how the VIP sessions were to end,” I pinned both men with a harsh glare, begging them to not interrupt or ask me to elaborate as I went on, “he lost several of his ‘ VIP Clients’ , thus the loss of tens of thousands of dollars each month. He holds me responsible for the loss of funds, and he told me that I’m to work off the debt.”
Riley is the first to speak after a moment of quiet pondering from them. “I’m sure there’s a lot more to unpack here, but what I want to know, is how much this Tank fucker thinks you owe him. Because whatever it is that he’s insinuating is your fault, is fucking asinine.”
I roll my lips together, knowing there’s no way to explain my debt to Tank in a way they’ll understand. “I truly don’t know, because there is no number.”
“No number? What the fuck does that mean?” Creed growls, his dark brows drawn together, his face morphing from one emotion to another. Anger, confusion, frustration.
“According to Tank, it means there’s no cap on the debt.” I blurt out, my body now starting to shiver from the cool breeze blowing across my bare thighs. I ignore it, ready to get this conversation over with so I can leave. Because that’s my only option, isn’t it? I can’t stay or follow them on tour and put them at risk of any kind of danger. “The debt is indefinite; I have to work for Viper until Tank feels that he’s recouped the cash lost from his VIP’s that left the club over me and the problems I caused for them.”
“That’s fucking bullshit and you know it, Collins.” Creed snaps. “He can’t force you to work for him because predatory men got their feelings hurt when you didn’t…when you wouldn’t…” he cut himself off, swallowing hard and shoving his tattooed fingers through his already messy locks.
“Tank doesn’t exactly operate on the right side of the law, Creed.”
“Doesn’t matter. If you don’t want to work there for that piece of shit, then I’ll see to it you never step foot inside of Viper and that he never bothers you again, Stardust .”
His voice never wavers. He’s so full of confidence in his words that I truly believe him. But would Creed getting involved make the problem that is Tank go away? Or would it paint a big red target right on his back, next to mine?
“I won’t ask you to do that. I don’t want you to put yourself at risk. Tank may be a dumb motherfucker at times, but he’s also a dangerous man, with dangerous connections. I don’t want you involved.” I glance from Creed to Riley. “Either of you.”
“You don’t have to ask, Collins. You know I’ll do it.” He takes me by surprise when he slides off of the lounge and kneels in front of me, his hands braced on either side of my thighs as he looks up at me. God, my heart is stuttering over the sad, desperate look that’s swimming through his eyes when repeats the words he begged me to accept two years ago. “Let me help you. I can get you out of there. Keep you safe. Please. ”
I squeeze my eyes shut, fighting the tears welling behind my lids, threatening to spill over the edge, my resolve wavering, much like my willingness to walk away from him. One traitorous tear falls and I feel the rough pad of Creed’s thumb gently swipe it away. He doesn’t move his hand though, as he cups the side of my neck and I lean into his touch without thought.
Just say yes, Collins. Let this man help you.
He’s only been begging to save you for two goddamned years.
I sigh, the sound so full of defeat that I hardly even recognize the sound as my own. Opening my eyes, I stare down at my nails, my fingers now folded in my lap, the damp towel draped loosely around my shoulders. Creed’s thumb sweeps up under my chin, gently pressing to get me to lift my gaze to his.
“Even if you manage to call off Tank and his dogs,” I start, my eyes volleying between his. I bite my lip and Creed’s stare snaps down to it before dragging them back up to meet my eyes. “He’s not the only man causing problems in my life.”
“What do you mean?” Riley asks behind Creed, and I nearly jump at the sound of his voice. Guilt washes down my spine because with Creed in close proximity, the rest of the world seemed to have faded away.
I clear my throat and lean away, causing Creed to drop his hand, but he makes no move to take his seat next to Riley again. He just stays crouched at my feet.
“Ever since I turned eighteen, when I aged out of the foster care system and left,” Creed winces at my words, but I ignore it and keep going. “I’ve been receiving some…disturbing texts.”
“Disturbing texts?” Riley parrots slowly. “You mean, like a stalker?”
I look at him and nod in confirmation. “But I’m almost one hundred percent certain I know who it is.” I turn back to Creed, knowing he’ll know who from the letters I’ve sent. “From Guy.”
Some of the color drains from Creed’s face as the recognition of my last foster father’s name is said out loud. “The cocksucker that somehow fooled the system into thinking he was fit to be a foster parent?
“The very same.” I laugh once, but it’s cold and detached, with no humor behind it. “The texts are always from different or more recently, blocked numbers, as I’m constantly blocking them as soon as I get them. Sometimes they sound more like threats, and other times they’re disgusting or crude in nature.” I force myself to sit still, to stop the trembling in my muscles as I think about each message that bastard has sent me. I swallow, “The last text I received from him came through just last night before my set. It had said I’m so close I could taste you.”
“The fuck?!” Creed shouts as he shoots to his feet and begins pacing. “Have you told anyone else about this?”
I shake my head, “Like who? The police? Guy is a rich man who thrives on the corruption of the world and he’s got plenty of law enforcement in his pocket to keep the cops quiet. Trust me, I’ve tried that before. Besides, they don’t do shit for the girls who work in the club, so I doubt they’ll listen to me or do a damned thing over getting crude anonymous texts, Creed.”
“Let me see.” He demands, pausing his pacing long enough to look at me.
“See what?” I ask.
“The fucking texts, Collins. I want to see what the fuck this guy is saying to you.”
“I delete the messages as soon as I block the numbers. Nothing has ever come of it, though. He’s thousands of miles away, and I don’t think he really knows where I am. They’re just empty threats. But I don’t want to put any of this burden on you if he decides to come looking.” I try to explain, but he’s staring at me like none of what I’m saying is registering with him. “I appreciate you offering to help me, but I can handle it on my own.”
Lies. It’s all lies coming out of my mouth when I say I can take care of myself, and based on both Riley and Creed’s expressions, neither of them believe me anyway.
“That doesn’t mean you should.” Creed says with a surprising softness. “You’ve been on your own for too long, Stardust . Fighting like hell to keep your spark alive.” I silently watch him as he approaches me and crouches down again. He takes my hand in his and squeezes firmly. His bright eyes darken, his intense gaze holding me captive. “You’ve been reduced to ashes when you deserve to be the fire that sets the world aflame.”
“Creed…” I rasp, emotion clogging my throat and my breathing picking up as his words play on repeat in my head. I don’t know what else to say anyway because, fuck, I should not be getting turned on by his words that just came from his mouth but, shit. Here I am. Hot. Bothered. Wet for a whole other reason that has nothing to do with the pool.
“Is all of that why you were saying no to the idea of traveling with us on tour?” He asks, but his eyes widen, as if he figured out the answer for himself. “You didn’t want to risk anyone coming after us.”
“I would never, ever , knowingly put you in a difficult situation or bring danger to your doorstep. You’re too important to get tangled up in all my bullshit, Creed.” I rasp, a rogue tear I didn’t realize had built up falls down my cheek.
In two long strides, Creed is standing before me, a quiet yelp passes my lips when he yanks me out of my seat. The next thing I know, I’m being lifted up, his arms banding around me in a tight hug. Our height difference has my feet dangling nearly a foot off the ground and it takes monumental effort on my part to not wrap my legs around him and cling to him like my life depends on it. I feel like that would send the wrong message when he just drew a new line in the sand after we crossed it last night.
I feel him smile against my skin as he buries his face into my neck and breathes, “You stupid, self-sacrificing, beautiful girl. You’re not alone anymore, so don’t go be a hero and try to save me.” A shiver shoots up my spine when he nuzzles his face closer for a fraction of a moment before he pulls back, his brilliant blue eyes shining when he sets me back on my feet. He doesn’t let me go as he gives me a crooked smile. “You could wound a man’s ego like that.”
His light-hearted joke makes me smile and I feel some of the heaviness that was looming over me lift a bit. I take a much-needed step back and sit when my calves hit the lounge again.
I glance at Riley as Creed takes a seat next to him again and the corners of his mouth are tipped up in a sweet smile, but his eyes…that soulful gaze holds an unspoken promise that he doesn’t voice but I understand anyway.
Creed pulls my attention once more when he reaches forward and takes my hands in his, his expression soft but serious. “You know, I made a promise a long time ago to always help to take care of you. I fucked up by not choosing you back then,” he says solemnly and I open my mouth, wanting to say something, but he keeps going, not giving me the chance, “but I have the chance to fix that if you’ll let me. We may have lost one another in life for a while, but I’ve fucking found you again and my protecting you doesn’t stop— won’t stop— at adulthood. It’s a lifelong promise that I intend to keep, Stardust.”
I close my eyes and let the meaning of his words wash over me. But does Creed leave that tender moment the way it is?
Of course not.
“By the way,” he continues, running his hand back and forth across his sharp jawline. “Your boss, Tank , is a nasty motherfucker—and I mean that in the grossest sense of the term. But he doesn’t scare me, and neither does that prick, Guy. I can handle them, and more than that, we have a top rate security team. So I’ll tell you this one more time, and I hope my words really fucking stick in that big brain of yours. I’m. Taking. Care. Of. You. Riley and me? We will protect you. Fuck, even Bear, too, because I know he recognized you last night and asked about you this morning in the band meeting. The guys and I won’t let a damn person so much as blink in your direction if you don’t want them to, okay?” he says softly, a secret smile playing across his lips and it has me smiling back at him.
I squeeze his hands in mine as more tears cascade down my cheeks, before I can let go and wipe them away, Riley’s hand sweeps out and I feel the back of his forefinger swipe gently across my cheekbone. He then surprises me when he cups the side of my face, his thumb moving in a reassuring back and forth motion.
“He’s right,” Riley starts, his hand still cupping my face. My eyes flicker to Creed for a flash of a second but dart back to Riley when I see he’s unaffected by his best friend touching me in such an intimate way. Why would he, though? After he told me we couldn’t be more than friends? My heart sinks a little at the memory. Riley continues, pulling me from my thoughts. “I know we don’t really know one another, yet .” He says and he gives me a playful grin that promises nothing but fucking shenanigans. “But you’re important to Creed, and therefore, important to me. He’s my only family, and I’ll help him to protect his family, and that includes you, Snow.” He grinning brightly at me, his dimples each popping out when he does and it feels like a hundred butterflies take flight in my belly at the beauty of his smile.
I wouldn’t know how to describe how unique his smile is, but it’s fucking amazing. Perfectly straight, white teeth, with slightly elongated canines, making him look like some kind of fae prince who decided to become a drummer in a rock band.
His whole face is beautiful, really. His perfectly imperfect auburn curls that are shaved down short on the sides and left longer and mussed on top. His sweet freckles that smatter across his face and the slight golden hue to his skin from performing outdoors. His deep brown eyes, so dark they almost seem black, but they’re certainly not emotionless.
Ugh . How can he be simultaneously adorable and sexy as sin at the same time? His looks, his personality, and empathetic nature combined with his unexpected touch sparks through me like an electric current. The feeling of both of these men touching me in such an innocent way, it’s igniting a confusing feeling deep within me that I have to force down.
I need to control myself. It’s completely wrong of me to be looking at Riley this way when I was just in Creed’s lap last night. It makes me feel like a shameless hussy.
Christ.
I force myself back to reality and I study their handsome faces, really seeing the sincerity of their promises. “You really mean all of that?” I ask, my voice nearly hoarse with the amount of emotion clogging my throat, hindering my speech even more than it already is. Something is clawing at me on the inside, just begging either of them to assuage my trepidation.
I’m certain that they each just told me the truth of what they felt, but I always find it hard to believe the sincerity of others because of how I was raised after the boys left. My heart held out so much hope that I would find a family that would care for me the way I deserved until I could see Creed and Asher again, but time and time again, I was failed. My social worker gave me pretty words and promises, only for them to be broken by the next family I was stuck with.
“Of course,”
“Yes,”
They answer at the same time, and my heart flutters in my chest. The affirmation brings a smile to my face. A smile that shows my gratitude, my relief, my hope. “Thank you.” I whisper. “It feels good, you know? To be cared for. Looked after.” I breathe out, some of the weight of independence I’ve been carrying for years falling off my shoulders. Not all of it, but enough for me to feel lighter than I have in years .
“Collins…” Creed says, his voice low and thick with emotion. His shoulders slump and his eyes shine with such sadness and regret that it makes my heart clench hard at the sight. It takes all of my control to not crawl back into his lap and just hug the shit out of him until we both feel better.
I take a deep, cleansing breath, feeling an odd sense of relief in my resolve waning, “So,” I smirk, loving the peace of the tender moment the three of us just shared, but ready to lighten it before my traitorous heart gets any delusional ideas. I stand and ball the damp towel up in my arms. “I guess if you’re dragging me along with you, I’ll need to get my things before we leave, huh?”
I watch as both guys’ expressions morph into various forms of happiness and excitement, no doubt glad that I no longer refute the idea of leaving. Now that I’ve had time to settle my emotions, going with them does seem like a safer route than isolating myself and practically throwing myself to the wolves. Not that it’s the sole reason for changing my mind. The thought of getting to travel with Creed, staying in such close proximity to him?—
“Wait, where would I sleep? Do you still have the spare bus?”
Creed is shaking his head before I even finish my question. “No fucking way. Not only are we reducing the number of buses and are basically bunkering two members per bus because we don’t want extra wear and tear on our vehicles, but you’re also not sleeping alone. Especially when we’re in cities that are foreign to you. You’re staying with me on my bus, where I can keep a close eye on you, Stardust .”
“But, what about…” I stop myself. How would I finish that? What about…groupies? I keep that thought inside because I don’t think I actually want the answer to that. Creed raises his brow in question and I sigh, rerouting what I want to say. “I won’t invade your space any more than I already have. I can stay?—”
“You’re staying with me, Collins.” He repeats, deadpan. Leaving no room for argument. “And Riley.” He tacks on as he tips his head in the direction of his friend, who is watching me, wide-eyed, like he’s as surprised as I am by Creed’s declaration.
I can’t just leave it alone. I was an inconvenience to Creed and Asher when I was a kid, no matter how much they deny it. I refuse to fall into that label again. “Don’t you two need, I don’t know…privacy? A-after the shows?”
“Privacy for what , Collins?” He teases, narrowing his eyes, the bright blue orbs filled with a playful, yet heated challenge for me to specify my question.
Riley’s cheeks and neck flush a bright pink again and he visibly swallows as he rubs the back of his neck with one hand, suddenly very fascinated with the ground between his shoes. He’s so bashful about the insinuation that I almost wonder if he’s a virgin. That, or he’s at least super reserved about his sex life, considering he’s never been seen with any other women that aren’t Bear’s sister when traveling.
Well, considering the way I was wrapped around him last night and again in a whole other way this morning, there’s no point in pussyfooting around the subject. So I blurt out, “privacy so you can have sex.” My eyes widen at the way my words sound so lame. But evidently spewing word vomit is my nervous tick because I plow on. “Y-you know, with…groupies, women . Or men. Whatever.” I correct and squeeze my eyes shut, willing the blush to stay away from my face, too.
“Hmm,” he hums so casually like I just told him the sky is blue, and I want to punch him in his painfully beautiful face for being so blasé about it. “I don’t think so.”
“What?” The word flies out of my mouth before I can stop it and I open my eyes to see him staring at me with such a calculated look that it makes me want to squirm in my seat. It causes a rapid pulsing between my legs that I suddenly feel the need to alleviate.
“I won’t need privacy to fuck other women because not only do I not bring women onto my tour bus,” he pins me with a glare before the corner of his lips turns up, “I also have no intention of sleeping with women while on this tour. Not while I’ve got you with me.”
Now it’s my turn to blush and all that squeaks out is a raspy, “ Oh ,”.
Creed’s expression morphs into a full-on wicked smile, telling me that his double innuendo of teasing words hit their mark. Asshole.
Should I feel guilty about what he said? Yeah, probably.
Do I, though? Nope.
In fact, a sick sense of satisfaction settles over me and I revel in it as the feeling sinks lower into my belly.
Okay, fine. My pussy. The traitorous bitch throbs at his words, even though I’m sure he doesn’t mean them in the way my lady bits have interpreted it.
My eyes roam over to Riley, who’s just been sitting quietly for a good majority of this conversation since I got out of the pool. I turn my attention towards him. “You really sure you’re okay with me tagging along? You and Creed will already be sharing, and I don’t want to cramp your style, Riley.”
His sweet brown eyes soften, roaming over my face as he smiles at me. He huffs a laugh before speaking. “Like I said, we don’t know each other well yet, but judging by the amount of fun we had just making breakfast this morning? I don’t think I’m worried about you cramping my style. I actually look forward to having someone to talk to in the mornings that isn’t this grumpy asshole.” He jokes, jabbing a thumb over at Creed.
Creed scoffs and shoves his shoulder, and jokes back. “Maybe I’m a grumpy asshole on tour because somebody fucking hogs the bed when we have to share a bus.”
Riley jabs at Creed’s ribs, and he winces playfully. “I don’t hog the bed, you fucker!”
Creed wrestles Riley in a headlock and his laugh is muffled as he’s forced to fold over. “Like fuck you don’t.” Creed grumbles.
I jump back out of the way when the two man-children start wrestling for dominance in this argument over the bed hogging. I know there’s no ire in their clouded words and aggressive actions by the way they’re both laughing between grunts and groans with the blows landed on one another.
“Oh, my god!” I shout and start belly-laughing to the point where I can’t breathe as Creed shoves Riley in the pool then proceeds to try and cannon ball on top of him. I’m clutching my stomach as my laughter ebbs and I push myself to stand, gripping the damp towel to my body once more. I make my way to the edge of the pool and wait for the boys to resurface. The moment they break through the water, I call out to them, the most genuine smile on my face as they both turn to me with a new lightness in their eyes and boyish grins on their faces. “Hey, boys, I’m going to change and I’ll need to get my things from my place if I’m going to do this with you two.”
“Alright, Snow.” Riley says, splashing Creed. “Loser rides back seat!” he cackles as he shoves Creed under the water and takes off, paddling hard toward the edge of the pool.
I turn to enter the house, shaking my head, smiling at the sound of their laughter and playful banter.
Maybe this won’t be so bad after all.