44. Collins
Chapter 44
Collins
WEEKS LATER
I t’s been nearly a month since things changed for the better between me, Creed, and Riley, and the summer tour is in full swing.
That night shared between the three of us in the hotel was as much of an emotional roller coaster for us as it was an eye-opener. My feelings for Riley are just as great as my feelings for Creed. I’ve easily come to fall in love with each of them equally, but differently. I’ve loved Creed my whole life, but I fell hard and fast for Riley. He’s impossible to not love. They both are.
Creed is wild and unapologetic. He keeps me afloat when the world seems to try and drown me. Riley is as funny as he is sweet and caring. He makes me feel like I could fly, even when life feels so fucking heavy.
They show me so much devotion and I give it back tenfold. They’re the keepers of each half of my soul and I hope like hell that they never let me go.
Riley officially ditched his little bunk and the three of us now cram together onto the bed in the back of the bus. I’m almost always the little middle spoon—as Creed likes to call me— but there are times when I have to pee in the middle of the night and when I come back, it’s to see that the two of them drifted together in their sleep.
The first time it happened, I couldn’t help but grab my polaroid and snap a photo of the two of them cuddled up together. I wasted no time in taping it to the wall, adding to the growing collage of photos I’d taken during my time on tour with Dark Sins.
It’s probably my new favorite to join the wall. Something about the sight of their arms and legs tangled up together did funny things to my brain and it made me crave more.
I don’t think they realized it the first few times they did it and I certainly didn’t mind. I’d just pick if I wanted to be the big or little spoon on either end of them and settle in.
Watching my boyfriends kiss was probably single-handedly the hottest thing I’ve ever witnessed in my entire life. They haven’t tried anything together since that one night but it was never awkward between them. I know Creed is no stranger to touching Riley, but I’ve noticed Riley showing that affection right back lately, sometimes accompanied by lingering glances and I feel like there’s something hidden deep down that begs to be explored.
I thought things would’ve been weird when we broke the news to Bear and Ayla that the three of us are together, but Bear looked completely unsurprised and Ayla was just happy and sobbing, saying that Creed could finally shut the fuck up about wishing I was there with him since I’m actually here and with him now.
There’s been nonstop buzz in the tabloids and on social media though, ever since that first concert a month ago when Creed kissed the fuck out of me on stage. Everyone is dying to know who the mysterious girl is who’s claimed Creed’s heart. With all the positive floating around, there’s also plenty of negative coming from jealous fans, but nothing overtly threatening that security would be worried about, according to Creed.
It’s also been suspiciously quiet from Guy. According to Lachlan, he’s gone radio silent and hasn’t sent so much as a crude text in weeks. I’d like to think he just gave up, but that man’s obsession and need to cause me pain drives deeper than anyone around me knows. I’ve been hesitant to leave the bus to go anywhere because of my suspicion. I’m already cautious in keeping my identity hidden from the public eye but I’m afraid I’ll be taken away from this beautiful life I’ve found in my two men if I even dare to step outside.
Unfortunately, I broke down into a dissociative episode about a week ago when I thought I’d seen Guy standing outside of a coffee shop where Riley had taken me to get breakfast . He had security sweep the surrounding perimeter while he took care of me.
Luckily, I didn’t respond with violence at his touch like last time when I’d clawed his face—which now bears the remnants of two faded pink scars beneath his eye. I feel guilty every time I see them, but he just kisses me and tells me he loves them. This last episode he said it looked like I had just zoned out of reality, so he pulled me into his lap to make it look like we were just snuggling up until I came out of it. I’d almost told him I loved him right then and there with the way he took care of me.
He's such a patient and kind human being and it’s one of my favorite things about him. No matter how stressed or anxious I feel, he’s right there to wait it out or pull me out of it with nothing but sweet kisses and tender touches.
That same day Creed had been running through the set list with the new guitarist, Blair, and Bear helped to get him caught up on the newest songs. He’s amazing, by the way. Blair, I mean. We met him the following morning when we got back to the buses to head out for the next venue.
We got to know him a little more when we stopped for lunch, and I have to say he fits in so seamlessly with the other guys.
Blair is right around Riley’s height and build, and has a curly wolf cut that suits his personality so well. Multiple piercings line his ears and a black double nose hoop in one nostril. He’s got scattered traditional black tattoos covering every bit of skin that isn’t covered by clothing. Don’t even get me started on his wild mismatched eyes; one is a bright grayish blue while the other is a deep brown. His style fits in with how the other band members dress, maybe with more of a feminine flare but he makes it seem masculine though.
Creed was a little concerned at first that I’d try to add a third man to our little throuple with how smitten I was with Blair, but the way I dragged him into the bus and rode him until he had no choice but to come inside of me had him quickly erasing the thought.
I also reassured him that I am perfectly happy with the two beautiful men in my life. It also helped that we found out that Blair is as gay as the day is long and so proud of it. Safe to say, Creed is no longer worried about Blair snatching me away from him.
I can’t say the same for my brother, though.
Asher finally came home and joined us on tour about two weeks ago and Blair hasn’t taken his eyes off of Asher the entire time. Ash hasn’t noticed, or at least I think he hasn’t. When I caught up with my brother just before the tour started, he was completely off the table for any kind of dating or love. Dani completely ruined him and I could fucking choke her to death for the way she shattered my brothers heart.
Asher is so different in so many ways, but he’s also the same in all the ways that count. He’s still fusses over me and Ayla, getting extra protective when the crowds get too wild during the shows. He cheers so damn loud when I get to go onstage that I can hear him screaming from backstage. I’ve toned down my costumes for that very reason, much to Creed and Riley’s dismay.
Asher wasn’t surprised to hear that Creed and I are together, but his eyes bugged out of his head when he found out that Riley is my boyfriend, too. He ultimately just shrugged and told me if I was happy, then he was, too. This was just before he threatened each of them to never hurt me or he’d cut their dicks off. I rolled my eyes and Creed just laughed, while poor Riley looked like he wanted to either vomit or run away.
Feeding Riley ice cream off of my pussy later that night had him feeling much better. It was definitely a sticky situation but a total win for the two of us.
Things have been so unbelievably smooth since then and instead of feeling the peace of it, I’m so fucking anxious all the time because I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Today, we’re in an aerial studio somewhere in St. Louis, and Creed has rented out the entire building for the day, and the place is heavily guarded at every door. Creed is gone getting breakfast from some place called Cafe Diavolo, which he found absolutely hilarious, considering the building used to be a church.
Riley is sitting cross-legged in the corner of the room, watching me warm up to Darkside by Neoni. It’s one of my favorite routines and he gets to see why.
“You ready for this?” I call out over my shoulder and smile when I hear my boy chuckle.
“Baby, I’m dying to see this.” He calls out and I look over my shoulder to see him lean back against the wall, watching me with hooded eyes. “Show me what you’ve got, Snow.”
I wink at him and wait for my cue before I start to climb the silks to move into a rainbow marchenko. Dropping myself into an upside down split, I begin to strategically shift and move my body to get the fabric wound around my left leg. Once I’ve got everything where I need it, I grip the fabric and let my legs drop into a split pose, bent at the knee.
I move into the next trick, climbing, winding and weaving the silks between my legs and around my back. When I get to the top, I wait for the chorus to hit to get my bearings and find Riley now up on his knees, watching me with his hands gripping his hair. He told me that he never gets used to these moves and it makes his stomach pitch every single time.
I blow him a kiss and let go. I count the twists as I fall and feel the fabric as it unwinds and trust it to catch me, but what I’m not prepared for is a fucking guard that bangs on the window of the studio door, the sound so loud that it overtakes the music and sounds like a gunshot. It startles me and my leg slips from the lock I’d created in the silks and I unwind all the way, hitting the ground with a hard smack.
Pain radiates from my shoulder but otherwise I think I’m fine. The music cuts off and I hear Riley cursing and several sets of footsteps rushing toward me.
I can hear the guard saying something in an apologetic tone but I’m not paying attention to a damn thing he’s saying. I’m not a spiteful person to those who don’t deserve it but fuck him for breaking my concentration.
“Shit, baby, are you okay?” He frantically asks and I nod. “I need to get you off the floor, can I pick you up?” I nod again and feel Riley’s soft touch a second later as he gently scoops me into his arms.
His sweet brown eyes are filled to the brim with worry so I give him the best smile I can, though I’m sure he sees right through the bullshit expression. “Where do you hurt, Collins?”
I lean my head on his chest and take a deep breath. I could tell him I’m fine, but we all promised each other total honesty in all things.
“I hit my shoulder when I landed?—”
“What the fuck happened?” Creed’s booming voice echoes around the studio. I look over to see him stalking toward me, dressed in all black with a murderous look on his face that’s quite the contrast to the bags of food and fancy teas and coffees he’s carrying. He looks so fucking hot and I should not be sitting here getting wet just looking at him while my shoulder is throbbing.
I try to smile at him, too, but he doesn’t even return it as he glances at the nervous-looking guard, then to me. I don’t want to cause problems with the guard who scared me, but I’m fairly certain Creed expressed the need for quiet while I practiced and this guy either wasn’t listening or didn’t care.
I try to go for a half-truth. “My leg slipped from where I had it locked and I fell on my shoulder. I’m fine, Creed.”
“Bullshit,” Riley remarks and I turn my eyes to him and glare, but he doesn’t care. He just shrugs with me in his arms and explains to a fuming Creed, “You know she’s fucking good at what she does. You’ve seen her rehearse, and you saw her today before you left.”
Creed nods in confirmation and gestures with his chin for Riley to continue like I’m not sitting here, the traitors. “This guy,” Riley nods to the guard who is shifting nervously from foot to foot, and continues, “ignored the quiet order for something non-emergent and he hit the glass of the door so fucking hard that it echoed in the room and startled Collins. That’s what caused her to fall.”
Creed doesn’t even look at me as he stands to his full height again and approaches the security guard. He fists his shirt and rears back like he’s going to hit the guy but Asher busts through the door a second later.
“Buses, now.” He barks, and we all jump into action. Ash has been laid back for the most part but he said we’d know if shit was happening because of this very reason. Asher looks downright scary right now. Something must have happened, and we won’t know what the threat is until we’re safely back on the bus.
Action now, questions later.
Creed tries to scoop me into his arms when Riley helps me to stand but I’m fighting to stay on this side of reality and movement seems to help me so I snap, “I can fucking walk,” and instantly feel like a bitch.
Creed just grins despite the shit going on and takes my good hand and Riley’s hand with his free one and drags us behind him as we’re escorted to the bus with a wall of armed men, breakfast and coffee forgotten. Which sucks because I’m hungry.
Once inside, Riley pulls me into his lap while Creed makes up an ice pack for my shoulder. Of course he doesn’t give it to me when I reach for it. He plops down next to us, planting a kiss on my lips and on Riley’s temple before holding the ice pack to my shoulder himself.
Asher, Bear and Blair file into the bus and though I’m not fazed to see Asher tucking his gun into the holster under his arm, my fucking flabbers were gasted to see Blair holstering a his own firearm in his waistband behind his back.
Creed must take notice of my shock because he chuckles at me. “He’s part of Lachlan’s world.”
Ah, yes, the underworld, underground, whatever the fuck it’s called, world. I don’t get it, but I understand now. Doesn’t mean it’s still not a shock to see someone as sweet and outgoing as Blair with a fucking weapon on his person.
Asher sits across from us, Blair taking the chair next to him, almost sitting protectively next to him, and Bear stands next to the stairs that lead out of the bus.
“There’s been a partial match to the facial recognition technology that Lachlan’s using around the city. The location ping was only half a mile from the studio. We’re relocating the buses to another location with a one-way entrance until we apprehend the suspect.” Ash explains, running a hand through his hair. “We need to confirm whether it’s him or if he has any ties to that piece of shit who’s been stalking you.”
My eyes meet my brother’s and I see the regret peeking through the anger there. When he learned about my life for the last ten years, he broke down, apologizing over and over. Begging for forgiveness that had already been given to him. He nearly lost his mind when he found out the psycho had been stalking me for two years.
I can feel the weight of the guilt he carries and nothing I say gives him any sense of peace. Just the promise that he’ll help end the fucker when he’s caught. Apparently time in the underworld with the devils like Lachlan and his brothers has made my brother a bit stabby, too.
“What does that mean for tonight?” I know it’s a stupid question, but I ask it anyway.
“You’re not performing.” This comes from Creed and my eyes snap to him. I open my mouth to tell him fuck that , but he shifts the ice pack on my shoulder and I hiss. “My point exactly.”
Asher and Riley agree because of course they do .
“Let’s just wait until we confirm the suspect's identity. If it’s clear, I think it’s best if you watch from backstage and I’ll stand guard with a team of my men. If, if , the potential threat is ruled out, you’ll have to travel with my team everywhere you go until we get this Guy fucker. I won’t risk your safety. I won’t risk losing you again, Bug .”
The use of my old nickname clogs my throat with emotion, but I nod, swallowing back the tears. I understand the need for extra men and I’m honestly not complaining.
They go over a few more safety protocols that will be in place while traveling to and from the buses and venues before they leave us to get some rest.
The three of us lay down together but I wake alone hours later and note that the sun is now setting. I check the time and see that the concert starts soon and I need to get ready. I swipe through my notifications and see a text from Riley, Creed, and Asher.
I open Asher’s first.
Ash: Suspect has been cleared. Security measures still stand, though. I won’t risk your safety, Bug. DO NOT leave the bus without security. They’re stationed outside the bus at all times and are there if you need them.
Me: Thank you for letting me know. And I understand. I can’t wait for the day that he’s finally caught and placed behind bars.
Ash agrees and tells me he’ll be the one to escort me from the bus an hour before the concert.
I give him a thumbs up and switch to my text from Riley.
Ri: You looked too sweet to disturb but we had to get to rehearsals. I put the m&m’s down where you can reach them while you get ready for tonight. See you soon, baby. X
Riley’s message makes me smile and I dash out of the bed and into the main living space, opening Creed’s text last.
Creed: We had to get to rehearsals, but Asher said he’ll escort you to the stadium. Take your time getting ready and pick your favorite lipstick. I want your marks on me again tonight, Stardust.
I start to type out a response when I hear a rustling and cringing sound that causes my entire body to freeze. I come to an abrupt halt as I take in the man sitting on the couch in front of me, eating the m&m’s that Riley left out for me. I don’t recognize him, but he’s dressed in the uniform that all of Asher and Lachlan’s men wear.
I’m shaking as fear settles over me at this stranger who was somehow able to gain access to our bus. I swallow thickly, attempting to sound casual as I take a step back, glancing at my phone to unlock it. “Can I help you?”
The guy just grins and it makes my skin crawl. “I’m just doing my job, darlin’.” He drawls and the accent is all-too familiar.
Oh, no.
I need to call Asher, but I don’t want to alert this guy who is definitely not a security guard. I force my body to move like nothing is wrong and reach for a cup like I’m going to get a drink from the sink, but I keep my body angled to face this stranger.
“You know, the guards usually do their guarding from the outside. ”
“Yeah, well, plans change.” He snaps back, eating more of my goddamned m&m’s.
“On whose order?” I ask, glancing down long enough to pull up Asher’s number.
“The boss’ order, obviously.” This guy is sounding like he’s actively losing brain cells as we speak.
“And which boss is that?” I’m about to click Asher’s name when the man suddenly jolts from the couch, his arms swiping out to grab at me but I duck out of the way at the last second. My heart is racing as I run towards the door of the bus. I don’t even make it a step before I’m yanked back by my hair. My voice is caught on a silent scream from the pain of his grip. His free arm wraps around my neck, lifting me off of the ground. Pain flares in my shoulder as I try to elbow him anywhere I can reach.
He chuckles before gritting his words in my ear, his hot breaths fanning over the side of my face when he speaks. “My boss is the guy who paid me a fuck-ton of money to get you back to him in one piece.”
No, no, no, no, no!
I kick my legs out, looking for purchase to fight him off, but I find none. I attempt to swing them back into his shins but it's as if the blows don’t faze him in the slightest.
I keep my body flailing, using all of my might to make it as hard as possible for this man to do whatever it is he was hired to do with me. I feel dizzy with his arm banded around my neck and I start to panic. If I lose consciousness or dissociate, I’m fucked. I double my efforts despite the dots spotting my vision and manage to turn my head and sink my teeth into the flesh of his forearm. I clench my jaw around his flesh until I taste the bitter, metallic tang of blood and he howls in pain, releasing me.
I fall to a heap on the floor, coughing and sputtering. I scramble away but a hand catches my ankle and I’m dragged across the floor, my skin tearing with the friction, and I cry out at the burn.
“You fucking bitch!” He spits, crawling over my body before flipping me so hard my head bounces off the ground with a crack.
“Fuck. you.” I hiss as I try to scoot backwards away from him.
“No thanks,” He says, panting. “Vicious blondes aren’t really my type.” His face is so close to mine so I take the opportunity to headbutt him which really fucking hurts. My head throbs and my attacker hisses as blood sprays from his nose, dripping down onto my shirt. I’m backhanded so hard I see stars and I taste blood from where he split my lip. He sits up long enough to pull a knife from his pocket and my heart shudders with terror as he flips it open with a snick .
“He told me to bring you alive.” He growls as he presses the blade to my pulse point which. “I’d slit your fucking throat right here and now just to get rid of your ass. I’d say you’re more trouble than you’re worth, but I have a lot of fuckin’ money riding on your delivery.” His weight on top of me is too heavy to escape and I can feel my fight or flight response kicking in, my body trying to slip my mind from reality when I feel a sharp sting on either side of my neck, and I cry out, feeling so weak from the pain that’s now consuming my body. I try to pull my focus back enough to see crimson now coating his knife as well as an empty syringe in his other hand.
My body starts to feel sluggish, and I feel the warmth of blood trickling down my neck and onto the floor. I try to cover my neck with my hand, but my muscles aren’t responding.
My head slumps to the side, my body giving in to whatever I was drugged with. I’m so fucking scared and helpless as he drags me by my arms towards the steps and it pulls at my injured shoulder. I whimper at the pain and it only causes him to chuckle. He huffs as he flips me up and over her shoulder, the force of my stomach meeting his muscle so harshly has nausea roiling within me.
Once he’s got me situated, his fingers grip my legs in a bruising grip and growls, “I’ve sat and watched and waited for too fucking long and now it’s time to get what I’m fucking owed, and you’re the ticket to my reward.”
I’m fighting consciousness and can barely comprehend his words, but what I think is a sob escapes my lips because I thought I was safe. I thought I would have a future with the two men I love more than life itself. I didn’t even get to tell them how much I love them.
My vision is darkening and my body has gone completely limp as this mother fucker hauls me toward the steps in nothing but sleep shorts and Creed’s t-shirt when it suddenly opens, and I hear a very muffled version Riley’s voice.
“Hey baby, have you seen—what the fuck—” his voice cuts off when a sudden and deafening bang causes my ears to start ringing but through it I hear a groan, followed by an exasperated curse from my attacker .
No, no, no, no. Riley, please.
“Goddamnit. I’ll be back for you, you little shit. He said no witnesses so I guess he can decide what to do with you when I hand you both over.” Tears slide backwards, flowing down my forehead and into my hairline when my attacker pivots and I’m able to see Riley’s body lying in a pool of blood, completely unmoving. I want to scream, but all that comes out is a broken whimper, full of disbelief and world-ending heartache.
Fuck! Please, please let this be a dream.
My body is jarred and I’m pulled from my thoughts as I’m tossed unceremoniously into the trunk of a car, my entire body screaming in pain. One of the last things I remember before the darkness claims me is another warm body being dumped next to mine. Something warm and sticky seeps into my shirt and I whimper again, unable to fully cry. This bastard fucking shot Riley and it’s all my fault. I know who hired this man and I knew it was only a matter of time before he showed back up to drag me into the shadows once more. Except now I feel ready to accept my fate because of the danger I stupidly thought that I would be safe from Guy. All that false security did was paint a target on the backs of Creed and Riley. Tears track down the side of my face when I’m met with nothing but silence. I don’t hear his breaths, I can’t feel him moving, he’s so still and the thought that he could be gone cleaves my heart in two.
But then he gasps and coughs, though the sound is muffled as I slip in and out of consciousness.
I want to tell him that I love him, that everything will be okay, but I can’t, for many reasons. All of them telling me that this is all my fault.