Chapter 4 #5
I reached for him with urgency, my hands sliding down his chest, fingers trembling just slightly as I found the edge of his shirt and tugged it up.
He lifted his arms without hesitation, letting me pull it over his head, the fabric catching briefly on his shoulders before I tossed it aside.
My hands were on him immediately, warm skin stretched tight over muscle.
I kissed down his chest, slow at first, then heavier, my mouth following the lines of him, tasting him, feeling the way his breath hitched beneath every press of my lips.
I kept going, trailing kisses lower, shifting carefully until my knees found the floorboard between his legs, the cramped space doing nothing to cool the fire burning through me.
I hooked my fingers into the waistband of his pants and boxers and tugged them down, feeling the tension in his thighs as he lifted just enough to help me, his breath coming harder now, chest rising fast. The hunger in his eyes followed every movement, dark and burning and trusting all at once.
He was so large and thick when he was set free, his cock pulsing upward against his belly button, but my hand knocked something near his boot, distracting me.
The knife.
Without even looking at it, I shoved it away, sliding it under the seat until it disappeared from sight.
The simple motion felt like pushing away the last shadow between us and choosing him again without fear.
Then my attention went back to where it belonged.
I looked up at him from my knees, my hands resting warm on his legs, the sight of him undone causing my core to ache.
I held his gaze and leaned closer, feeling the heat between us thicken.
My fingers tightened gently against his legs before I closed the last inch of space, letting my mouth meet his length, pouring everything I felt into the contact.
I sucked down, tasting him with abandon and loving the power of making someone as terrifying and brutal as Rafe Creed shake with need.
A groan vibrated through his entire body, his thighs shuddering around me.
His hands tangled in my hair, not pulling or forcing, just gripping onto me like a lifeline.
I moved with intention, unhurried, letting him feel each wave of sensation instead of rushing him through it, knowing how much control he’d always held and how much it meant for him to finally let go.
His thighs tightened and loosened in small, instinctive movements beneath my palms, his body answering mine slowly without fear.
He thrust lightly into my mouth, and I moved to take him deeper, but suddenly he grasped my shoulder and tugged gently on my hair.
I released his cock and brought my head back, looking up at him, worried I’d done it wrong somehow.
It wasn’t my first blowjob, but it was the first one I’d ever actually wanted to give someone or that I’d ever really been fully present for.
But he didn’t look upset. His eyes fluttered shut for a moment before opening again to find me, my throat tightening at what I saw.
The gold flecks, that little bit of light that only seemed to come alive in his eyes when I was around, had finally returned in its fullest form.
He tugged on me until I was climbing upward, his hands combing down to my hips and helping me out of my leggings.
Then he pulled me atop him, kissing me deeply and sliding into me in one silent, breathtaking thrust, holding me there as I gasped, peppering my chin and neck with small kisses.
We were being fools, letting ourselves heal with each other again, but I realized with profound clarity that protecting each other would always be worth any pain that followed.
When Kane cracked the privacy screen, Rafe and I were clothed once more.
I had Rafe’s head in my lap, the love of my life fast asleep and more relaxed than I’d seen him in years.
My fingers brushed through his hair, my heart so wonderfully full as I just watched him sleep.
I was exhausted, but I refused to miss a second of his calm.
Grief and trauma, they were never a single wave; they were an ocean prone to catastrophe, and I knew it was best to hold onto every small moment of hope for however long I had it.
I’d taken it for granted—Alex and the Ravens.
That blip of beauty they gave me…It still tears me apart.
I wish I’d danced every night on that roof instead of only one.
I wish Alex had told me he was sick that very first night so that, maybe, I wouldn’t have wasted those first months suffering in paradise.
But I couldn’t take it back. Any of it. I could only live in the moment I had, and the moment was watching Rafe Creed sleep.
“I need a rest, sweetheart. I’m gonna pull off,” Kane said, rolling down the privacy screen a bit more when he saw we were clothed. I hadn’t noticed it fully, but there was something off about his voice.
“Sure,” I murmured, never taking my eyes off Rafe.
“I gave Mickey a call,” he continued, turning on his blinker and pulling the car into a rest stop. “I caught them up on the estate. He’s looking into where else Viktor may have properties.”
I jerked my head up at that. “Properties? Plural?”
Kane was nearly monotone, strangely lacking of any emotion.
“Greed is a fucking plague, and through the blackest hearts, it spreads endlessly.” He parked the car, rolled down his window, and lit a cigarette, barely blinking.
Then he looked into the rear view mirror again, catching my gaze, and a chill rolled down my spine.
“You look alive. I’m assuming things went well. ”
“He’s back,” I managed, tracing a finger gently along the curve of Rafe's face and the sharp outline of his jaw.
“Yeah, a good fuck can do that to a man.”
My nose crinkled, and I narrowed my eyes at him. “Kane, are you alright?”
He took a long drag, his head knocking back against the seat and his eyes closing as he blew out smoke in a thick cloud. “Instigator. Aggressive,” he murmured.
I frowned. “What?”
He peeked through his lashes. “Just something some suit wrote down about me.”
My frown deepened. “You’re so much more than that.”
He clucked his tongue. He took another drag before chucking the cig out the window.
“Loyal,” I said, drawing his gaze back to the mirror. “Strong-willed. Protective. Charming—well, when you give a shit to be.”
His lips twitched, but he still looked dead in his eyes.
I hated that. Kane, in so many ways, had a fire that often rivaled mine.
His anger could burn incredibly bright, but where mine liked to manifest outwardly, his was entirely internal until he eventually exploded.
It was why, I guess, I never shied away from his entirely violent and sometimes impulsive nature.
Kane loved by making people bleed—specifically the people who bled the ones he loved.
I admired that about him so much. Half of the shit he’d done was for Thorne, to protect his brother and keep the focus on himself.
He drew unwanted attention for years, purposefully keeping himself in the spotlight to allow Thorne to stay in the shadows.
The deepest parts of him were good, but if eyes could tell a story, Kane’s would say that he looked into mirrors and only saw a monster, a disaster, and a bully.
I didn’t know how to change that, to make him know just how wanted and wonderful he was in my life and in Rafe’s.
“I meant what I said that night in the woods. You have one of the biggest hearts I’ve ever seen, Kane Creed,” I told him sternly, hopefully, “so fucking big that you sacrificed yourself to Viktor’s courtyard to ensure your little brother’s safety.
Pain isn’t a contest, but you sure as hell saved Thorne from a lot of it, and I’m positive that even before Viktor’s and after, you did the same thing. ”
A glassy sheen overtook his gaze and he looked away, out the window. I’d never quite seen him fractured like that, like he truly couldn’t fathom being a hero in any story.
“He would be proud—” I tried, but his fist came down on the steering wheel, and I snapped my mouth shut.
Kane visibly shuddered before he ripped open his door. “Going for a walk,” he pushed out before he slammed the door behind him so hard it shook the entire car. He lit another cigarette in seconds, having to strike the lighter over and over with how badly he was trembling.
Rafe jolted upward and scanned around for a threat. I wanted so badly to go after Kane, but I knew better than to push him. He would cool off. He just needed his space, and he’d come back. He always did.
Except for when he killed sixty-seven innocent people.
I cursed under my breath and nodded at Rafe, the two of us exchanging a worried but knowing look as we exited the car.
We jogged to catch up to Kane, the two of us matching our strides to his angry ones.
We kept him between us, his cigarette burning away in his hand but he wasn’t bringing it to his mouth.
He was just narrowed on the rest stop building, charging toward the nearest wall before he rammed his fist into it with a shout of pure rage.
Blood splattered outward from his knuckles, the veins along his neck standing out.
Rafe immediately stepped in the way before he could break his hand with a second punch, taking the hit to his chest, and I just…
launched forward, embracing him, pinning his arms down.