Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
Cassie
I've spent the past few hours attempting to be polite. My mind is a battleground, trying to figure out which feeling will win.
Am I pissed off about being told I need to stay? Will the sadness that this is the first time I'm in Maddy's home without him overwhelm me? Or am I just grateful to have a comfortable spot to land after a really long, hard day?
Then there's all the other feelings in between the big three.
After listening in on Spider's speech about me invading his safe space, I've felt bad. Not guilty per se, because I'm here mostly against my will, but I understand where he's coming from. Have I been causing issues in their dynamic this entire time? Nobody has mentioned it and I’m not bothered by the complexities of our separate relationships. I’ll just follow their lead because I don’t know what the fuck to say.
Obviously the four of you were together while I was with Maddy. I’m a bit upset because I would have loved to have all of you, but at least I’m here now right?! Yeah, no. I feel like I was missing out on something, not that I was betrayed. Is that fucked up?
On the other hand, I have no fucking clue what Ripper's been on about. The number of times he's checked my progress on drinking water is as infuriating as it is sweet. He's a wild card.
Koa makes kick ass pizza rolls and the spicy ranch he made? To die for. He's left me alone for the most part after showing me how to find their streaming apps on their TV and scolding Ripper for suffocating me in blankets.
I don't know what the hell is happening, but I'm taking their conversation about me being in danger seriously. Plus, I don't mind the pampering even if it is a little tense and strange.
It helps that I haven't seen Spider since he left the kitchen. He took one look at me standing in the hallway, scowled, and walked away.
My relaxation comes in waves. I'm not sure what to call whatever sex scene we did in the clubhouse, but it exhausted me. My nerves have been fried, and I was a little shaky before Koa fed me. I won't admit it, but the water has done a tremendous job in helping me feel refreshed.
I hate when overbearing men are right.
I'm sad the man I came here to see and shout at doesn't care enough to be overbearing. Though he did demand I not leave, so that counts for something, right?
Over and over again, I remind myself to relax and enjoy the comfort of their cozy living room because it won't last forever. Each time I sink into negative thoughts, my chest tightens so hard I can't breathe properly.
In the middle of convincing myself I'm fine and want to be here, the front door slams shut, then Maddox barrels down the hallway and into the kitchen without seeing me.
It's an open concept area only split from the rest of the house by a long wall with multiple doorways.
He'll see me eventually, and I have no clue how he will react.
Probably with anger and accusations. Maybe he'll bend me over the back of the couch, fuck me until he comes, then tell me that's the only way I'll ever touch the thing again.
Twisting to watch what happens, I hold my breath. Maddox looks pissed, and Ripper tenses like he's ready to brawl.
Koa slowly stands from his chair at the dining table, which acts as another barrier between me and the kitchen.
Neither of them has left my sight for more than a few minutes this afternoon.
Whether it was to keep me company or to make sure I didn't run off, I don't really care.
It was nice to have them around. My apartment has been so damn quiet and sad since Violet moved out.
I'm a social person at heart. Maybe that's why I don't mind being here. Though I'd love a change of clothes that don't ride up my crotch when I curl up into a ball on the couch.
"Mads, wait—" Koa starts, but Maddox ignores him without even a glance. I don't know why, but it irks me that he's brushing Koa off.
Instead, the asshole stomps right into Ripper's personal bubble and shoves him back into the fridge. I'm on my feet immediately, but whatever protest I had flies out the window when Maddy starts shouting.
"Who do you think you are letting her right into the mouth of our fucking problem?! You could have gotten her killed! Now she's in even more danger, Ripley! Don't you get that?! I'd rather her fucking hate me on the other side of town and never see her again if it meant she was safe."
"Maddox—" Koa tries again, stepping forward when Maddy punches the metal fridge door beside Ripper's face.
"All those years!" Maddy bellows, scaring me shitless. "All those fucking years I had to push her away to keep her safe are for nothing now!"
My throat tightens, and my hand grips the base of it as if I'm trying to hold the emotion choking me at bay. It's no use. What Maddy's saying and the fact that Ripper doesn't seem surprised? Please don't make me cry...
"She deserves to be here. She deserves to know," Ripper rumbles, not once flinching at his aggressor.
"What she deserves isn't up to you! You stalk her every day, but you don't fucking know her!"
I'm sorry, what?
Maddy continues to blow my mind. "She deserves to be alive and carefree! You took that from her the moment you dragged her onto our property."
"There was no other option!" Ripper finally snaps and pushes Maddy back a step. "Victor had three guys posted across the street making sure nobody left. Had I sent her on her way after she was screaming your fucking name, they would have been on her immediately!"
I watch with tears in my eyes as the man I love deflates. Every cell in my body demands I go to him, to soothe his pain, except I know when I'm not wanted. Hell, he doesn't even know I'm here.
"All those years..." Maddy whispers, sounding so broken. "Wasted."
Koa glances back at me, face a little pale like he can't hide his feelings. "Maddy, she's always been strong enough to know what was going on."
"Stalking her social media and hacking into security footage wherever she is doesn't mean you know her either, Koa," Maddy mumbles.
My heart plummets to my stomach as his head turns to look at Koa.
This is it, the moment he'll see me. What will he do?
How will he react? All I want to do is run and hide from the impending confrontation, but I can't. Not if I’m eager to work this out and prove to him he doesn't need to worry about me.
Then there's no more guessing. He's staring right into my soul, looking like he regrets everything. After a few beats of silence when I think I might collapse from the tsunami of emotions and revelations, Ripper adds more information.
"Nobody was supposed to know she was here. One of Victor's men wandered where he wasn't supposed to and caught sight of her. I didn't mean—" He stops with a frustrated growl and turns away from us. I don't want to see him beat himself up over a situation he did his best to manage.
Neither Koa nor Maddy tries to make my apparent stalker feel better, so I find my voice for him. "If I'm in any kind of danger, that's on me. Not Ripper. I made a scene which is also your fault, Shade."
Oof. Why did I whip out his road name?
Maddy aims his intense gaze at me next as he straightens to his full height. "Don't you ever call me that. Ever."
Tilting my chin up and cocking my hip, I force the urge to cry down until I can be alone. If this is the only opportunity I have to show Maddy that I can handle this life and the dangers it possesses, I'll shove all the vulnerability aside for now.
"What do I call the man who uses me as a booty call and declared I'd never be on the back of his bike unless I'm getting fucked on it?"
Koa sucks in a small breath and starts inching toward me as Maddox does the same. Before anyone can say anything, I plant my hand on my hip and scowl.
"You have a lot of explaining to do before I call you Maddy ever again. But for now, I'm tired and, quite frankly, I don't like the way you're staring at me like you have the right to be pissed. So, Koa, can you show me where I'll be staying? Please."
Koa might be the only man around who deserves my manners. Social media stalking is not as bad as following me, right? My options are limited. Don't judge me.
Koa doesn't even glance at the other two. He just smiles and aims his arm toward the hallway. "Of course, baby."
Brownie points to him for making me the priority right now. Don't cry.
With a flourish, I toss my red hair over my shoulder and follow the sexy biker. "Oh." I turn just before I'm out of Maddox's sight. "Please send someone to get everything I'll need. I'm sure you can figure it out considering you know me so well."
With that parting shot, I waltz away and nudge Koa onward. Halfway up the stairs, he chuckles. "Damn woman."
"Thank you," I say, my false bravado fraying around the edges.
Thankfully, Koa stays silent as he walks me down a hallway of the upstairs seating area and nudges open a door.
"This will be your room for now. I sent one of the old ladies here to freshen it up while we were in the clubhouse."
Stepping in, I'm glad to see there's little personal touch. It's comfortable and plain, giving me nothing to attach myself to. For now, Koa said. I won't be here forever, so why love the guest room, right?
"Cassie..." Koa murmurs, reaching out to run his fingers down my arm. "We want you here. Please, please come get me if you need anything. Nowhere is off-limits. Sleep well," he says quietly and clicks the door shut behind him.
With a deep sigh and Jell-o legs, I flop onto the bed and spiral. I really need to get my phone out of my car so I can rant to anyone but the four men I'm living with now.