15. Millie
Millie
Liss poked her head through the door to announce that dinner was nearly ready.
“Are you okay?” Liss asked as Millie stretched on the chair, the laptop cradled in her lap. “Strike told me about Randolph’s call.”
“I think so. I’ve been sitting here wondering how my life got this crazy in such a short space of time.” Millie moved to the bed, and Liss joined her. It messed up the imprint of Strike’s huge body that had remained on the covers after he left. But nothing could rid the ghost of him from her life.
“You seem to be handling it well.”
“Maybe working in mental health helps.” She worried her lip. “Strike rushed out of here. Is he okay?”
Liss shrugged. “He doesn’t reveal much. He’s making decisions and ordering the team around, so he’s coping the only way he can.”
“That’s something.” An unexpected peace had descended after he left. She was scared—it was impossible not to be—but Strike was keeping her physically safe. She’d have to work on the mentally safe bit alone. Like always.
“Well done for everything you’ve found out so far. People really do share a lot with you,” Liss said.
“I can’t believe that secretary told me Hugo was kicked out of school for stealing, or that his old business partner told me about his lacklustre performance, and that Daddy paid for him to be part of the company in the first place. Still no connection to the man he attacked, though.”
“Keep pushing.”
“I will. Staying busy helps, and I like being useful. I’m hoping a couple of people will call tomorrow. I don’t think anyone who’s spent time with Hugo likes him.”
“I’m not surprised. He’s lucky his dad bails him out all the time.” Silence filled the room. Liss chewed her lip as seconds ticked by. “It’s none of my business, but…”
Millie raised her eyebrows, waiting.
“But Strike and Casey are friends. I was bullied at school, too, and it sticks with you forever.”
“I’ll never forget the things they said. Strike apologised, but I still felt like he didn’t get it.”
“He probably feels guilty because he could have stopped it,” Liss added.
Millie pulled her hands down her face. “That should’ve been obvious to me. Why didn’t I see it?”
“Because you’re too close to it. I don’t know what you and Strike are to each other now, but your history will impact your thoughts about him.”
Her emotions were like a tangled dog lead when it came to Strike.
“Also, Strike hasn’t had a girlfriend or anything since I’ve known him. Bear says he’s not had one since he left for the army, which I guess was when he was with you.”
“For a whole two weeks before he disappeared. Two weeks means nothing.” Although it meant the world to her.
“You’d be surprised what can happen in two weeks.” Liss smiled wistfully. “I’m sure it’s obvious, but the phone Strike gave you is encrypted. It can’t be traced, so you can use it for more than research. You could contact your clients and…”
“And?”
Liss covered her face with her hands. “I’m sorry. I’m so bloody nosey. Bear teases me about it. It makes me good at my job but a rubbish friend. I’ll stop.”
Millie laughed and pulled Liss’s hands away from her face. “It’s okay. You two are fortunate to have each other. I remember Bear as an angry and sad teenager. He’s the opposite with you.”
Liss beamed. “He’s the best thing that’s happened to me. I’d no idea I could be loved like that or bring someone joy by being with them. And the sex is amazing—sorry. He also tells me off for oversharing.”
“Never apologise for amazing sex.” Millie’s chuckle was edged with sadness. She’d had sex once. It had been the most incredible experience of her life. Her vibrator and sexting didn’t compare, but real touch terrified her now.
“The thing on my phone,” Millie whispered in case Strike used his superpower of turning up unannounced in doorways, “it’s an app I use to talk to men anonymously. No one knows about it, and I’d prefer to keep it that way.”
“I’ll ensure Luke stays away from it.”
Millie held her breath. She’d never told anyone about it. “You’re not judging me?”
“For talking to men anonymously?”
Millie dropped her head and winced. “And sexting them. No photos, just words.”
Liss grabbed her hand. Millie looked up to see her soft smile. “As long as you’re not hurting anyone, what does it matter? Does it make you happy?”
“Sometimes. But sometimes I do it and then hate myself for how far I let the chats go.” It was as if Millie had wanted to tell someone for years.
“Then try not loading it onto the burner and see how you are without it.”
Millie sighed and managed to smile. “That’s a good idea.”
“I’m around if you ever want to chat. When my life transformed, I felt like I had no one. I was a stranger this morning, but not anymore. You’ve got me for as long as you need me. I’ll send you my number, okay?”
She nodded as Liss pulled her into a hug.
Millie was supposed to be the counsellor, yet having Liss listen to her was transformative. She just needed to survive the politician and his son and get home.