19. Millie
Millie
“Sorry. I was distracted,” Millie replied from her throne, aka Strike’s broad back, his shoulders flexing beneath her.
She rested her head against his neck, her lips casually pressing against his skin. Why did he think he would ruin her life? He kept skirting her questions until she was too tired to ask them.
Was she some sort of masochist in trying to get his secrets while also pushing him away?
“Tighten your legs. I don’t want to drop you,” he demanded with a gruffness that caused a pulsating between her thighs. “I need you to really grip me. Make sure your arms are secure around my neck.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I’ve got muscles in places you can’t imagine. You can’t hurt me,” he growled.
“So why is your voice all gruff and raspy like I’m gripping you too tightly?”
He cleared his throat. “Must be the air.”
She breathed in his orange-tinged musk. His muscles were solid as hell, and the friction from each step played havoc between her thighs. Heat built slowly. She wasn’t used to having any man close. And Strike wasn’t just any man.
“I told you to keep talking, Doc,” Strike grunted. “What are the first things you’ll do when you get home?”
Read about men who are a lot easier to understand than you. She chuckled.
“Something funny?” His crotchetiness wasn’t fooling anyone. He pretended he was a big bad wolf, but there were hints of a cuddly retriever.
“No,” she sassed.
He shrugged his shoulders, making her jiggle.
“Oi. Stop it,” she grumbled, though she was smiling against his neck.
He did it again.
“Sorry, just getting comfortable.” Mirth wove between his words.
“Liar.”
She squeezed her thighs.
“Fuck.”
She swallowed the temptation to drag her nose up his neck and immerse herself in all of him. “So,” she replied, her voice deepening, “when I get home, I’ll get into my pyjamas—a vest and shorts in case you’re interested.”
“Fascinated.”
“Dickhead,” she teased, her smile widening. “Then I’ll put on a playlist that includes strong women singing about crappy situations.” He made encouraging noises. “Grab a book and make a coffee.”
“A coffee in the evening? You need to stay awake for one more chapter?”
“Are you a big reader, Strike?”
He cleared his throat again. “The odd training manual for a new weapon. They made me read a lot when I joined the army, so I went off it.”
“Okay.” She dragged out the word. They neared the house. She wasn’t sure how to broach something he’d mentioned the day before. He was too elusive with his answers.
“What are you thinking, Doc?”
“How can you tell I’m thinking anything? I might be enjoying the smell of the countryside.”
His laugh was deep and comforting. “You make a humming sound when you’re thinking. It’s adorable.”
She whispered in his ear, “And you clear your throat before you lie.”
“Just tell me what you’re thinking.”
“You mentioned a letter yesterday. Did you send me something after you left? I didn’t get anything.” His sad sigh pushed her resolve. “I need answers, Strike.”
His back tensed, forcing her to tighten her arms. “The last thing I did before I left was write you a letter about why I left and push it through your door.”
“But I didn’t get it. I never received anything from you.”
Even from her angle, she caught his brow furrow. He shook his head and cleared his throat. “It probably wouldn’t have changed anything.”
“It would have changed everything. So that was it? You sent me a letter and gave up on me when I didn’t reply?”
“I never gave up on you. I couldn’t. You were all I thought about when I was in the army. I regretted leaving, but…”
Millie waited. She wasn’t filling in the gap for him.
“But, in the end, I decided your life was better without me in it.”
“You shouldn’t have decided for me. My family always made decisions for me, but you weren’t like that. You should’ve spoken to me.”
“And if I know things now, painful things that will impact your future and test how you feel about those closest to you, should I tell you them rather than protect you?”
She rested her head against his back. They couldn’t have what they had before—he was adamant—and soon, she’d say goodbye to him forever.
She couldn’t live through the pain she’d barely survived before, but what if she couldn’t survive learning whatever had made him leave?
And with him gone from her life, she’d only have her family in her world again.
His secrets could destroy her only security.
He’d given her enough to help her move on. But would she always wonder why he left?
“You’re humming hard.”
“I need more time.”
“Time’s up. We’ve got a welcoming party.”
Liss and Bear stood on the front step.
“Don’t say a fucking thing,” Strike grunted at them. “Just get tweezers, because Jeff has a thorn in his paw.”
Liss grinned. “I won’t mention how you look like a hero bodyguard with your trusty stead by your side. A gladiator that’s fought an apocalyptic battle, rescuing the Queen and her Kingdom from the enemy, and now you’re ready to claim your prize.”
Millie giggled, her nose wrinkling as she shouted at Liss, “I read that book, too!”
Her lips brushed Strike’s ear, and his low growl rumbled against her chest, making her nipples harden.
Bear glanced down and back up at Strike with a smirk. “Shall I get a cold shower going, buddy?”
“Fuck off,” Strike grunted. “We’re leaving in thirty minutes.”