50. Millie
Millie
Millie gasped for breath as Strike carried her to their bathroom. Slowly, he cleaned her with a warm cloth and moisturised her wrists and bum before wrapping her in a blanket.
“That was okay?” he asked once she’d cuddled up to him. “Not too rough?”
“It was perfect. How are you feeling?”
“I’ve been too scared to try something like that.
I worried I’d go too far, but when it was you bent over in front of me, the anger left me.
Not so much because of what we did, but because I stopped hiding myself.
It’s like I can accept myself a bit better.
Don’t get me wrong, I know the anxiety and other things will return, but I want to be someone who can live with the light as well as the darkness. I sound fucked up and cheesy.”
“Fucked up and cheesy works for me. Embracing your wants is healthy and fucking hot. How do you feel about needing to control everyone?”
He sighed as he stroked her hair. “It’s still part of me, but maybe I can release it sometimes and let people in more as well. I’m not the robot people think I am.”
She kissed him slowly. “You’re also not as scary as you think you are.”
“Is that right?” He smirked as she settled against him.
“Yes, baby. The masked men in my books do a lot worse,” she teased as he stroked her hair.
“Do you want me to be like them?”
She shook her head. “I want you to be you. There are things I want to try, but maybe when my life isn’t at risk.”
He yawned, stretching his arms. “But first, sleep. Cuddle me like I’m yours. You ain’t getting away now.”
She sighed happily as he drifted off against her.
The next couple of days settled into a rhythm of meals, sex, and Strike working and preparing for their visit to the Dankworth’s.
Sometimes, she’d demand his dominance, and other times, they’d relish the gentle sex both of them needed.
He’d unleashed a part of her that she’d hidden for so long, but everything felt right together.
Each night, they sat on the outdoor sofa, which wasn’t big enough for both of them. Strike cradled Millie in his arms as the sun dropped.
Merryn, Elsie, and Joyce visited Millie daily and updated her on who asked after her. She mediated between the mum and daughter. This was the longest she’d not counselled people properly, and she missed it.
No one searched for her, because Randolph was scared of their promise to go to the press. The visit to the Dankworth’s loomed, and there was no update on the video.
The victim had woken, but he wasn’t talking. Bear thought he’d already been paid off. The only way she’d return to her life was if Hugo owned up to what he’d done, and based on the anonymous threats texted to Strike, that seemed impossible.
They must make Hugo see sense.
Millie ran up from the sea and across the beach to the sounds of children playing. Sneaking through the garden gate, she grabbed the hoodie and joggers she’d left on the decking, throwing them on before snapping a photo of the sea for Rylee.
Her phone rang as she removed her bikini top from under her hoodie. She undid the strings of her bottoms before pulling them off.
“Hey, Mills, how’s it going?” Liss asked as Millie rinsed her wet swimmers and hung them up. Liss’s calls were a daily joy, as were the photos and views Millie sent to Rylee of the area. “It’s just me today. Stal and Cam are busy, so they won’t be sharing their problems.”
Millie smiled. “I’m glad they don’t need me all the time. I’m good. I spent the morning with Joyce, tending to her rose bush. She misses having her family around but said Strike and I have brought her temporary joy.”
“Does she know your real names?”
Millie chuckled. “Yeah, I’m no good at this covert stuff. But she promised to keep it a secret. Everyone in this town is lovely. I’ll be sad to leave.”
“You should move there. You can do your job anywhere, and you’re an hour away from us. I tend to be home a lot. The bodyguards are out more than I am.”
Millie stood on the deck outside the back door, breathing in the salt water and stretching her neck from side to side. “Do you get lonely?”
She squeezed sea water out of her ponytail before putting her glasses back on.
“Sometimes. Strike’s parents visit, and I’ve got the dogs. A friend from London stays, too. I see fewer people than I did when I worked in the pub, but I have a family now. All these people care about the real me.”
Millie stared out at the beach. Merryn and Elsie chatted as they walked across the sand.
“We’ll be over in five minutes,” Merryn shouted to Millie, who waved back.
“I know what you mean,” Millie replied to Liss. “I spent so long hiding away, and now that I’m actually in hiding, I’m more sociable than ever.”
“How do you feel about the future? Will you return to your apartment? Or maybe closer to Strike? Or he can move in with you?”
“Are you scheming again?” Millie teased.
Liss laughed. “I can’t help myself. I’ll stop.”
“I like it. It’s nice to have someone not filtering themselves or desperate to protect me.” Millie sat on the outdoor sofa, which felt less comforting without Strike holding her.
“Have you spoken to your family?”
“Not yet. I’ve ignored Mum’s and Dexter’s calls. I don’t know how to come to terms with all the lies and the things they did. They’ll fight me about Strike, especially once I tell them I want to move, but I don’t want their judgement in my head anymore.”
“I know you know this, but one day, you’ll have to choose to ignore the negative disbelieving voices, whether they’re coming from friends, family, or even yourself,” Liss replied.
Millie wrung her hands. She didn’t need the fidget tool as much anymore, but right now, she needed something. “That takes courage I don’t have.”
“You’ve stood up to a politician’s son even though it’s risked your life. You’ve confronted your family, and every day, you help people who are going through shit. Holding people through their issues like you do would terrify some, but you do that.”
“Okay, I’ll speak to them and remember I’m in charge of my life, or will be when this is over. I should call them before we go to the Dankworth’s, in case something happens.”
“Which it won’t.”
“Which it won’t,” Millie agreed, although her skin itched with nerves.
A snuffling dog sound neared the phone. “How is Strike? Bear said the team are joining you two at the Dankworth’s tomorrow.”
“He’s singing to the radio. Listen.” Millie crept closer to the kitchen.
“Bear, come here,” Liss whispered. “Listen to Strike singing Taylor Swift.”
“Murdering more like,” Bear grumbled.
Strike glanced over his shoulder. He raised an eyebrow, and Millie’s heart thudded as she whispered to Liss, “I’m in trouble.”
Strike nodded. I’ll spank you so fucking hard, he mouthed. I might use my belt.
Her cheeks heated with anticipation as Liss replied, “Strike is the one in trouble. He’s fallen so hard for you. This is the best thing ever.”
Bear grumbled in the background that Strike’s singing didn’t compare to his.
“Of course it doesn’t,” Liss whispered to Bear. “I bet he can’t sing Whitney Houston like you can.”
“I’d best go,” Millie replied, contemplating fitting in a quickie with Strike before Merryn and Elsie arrived. “And I’ll call my mum today. Thank you for the advice.”
“Tell Strike I’m overjoyed for him,” Liss teased. “Good luck with your family. I’ll call tomorrow when Strike’s driving you to the meeting.”
“Thank you. You’re amazing.”
“So are you, Mills.”
Millie’s eyes flicked over Strike’s body as he ignored her.
He knew what that would do to her after his threat of the belt.
Her body crackled as he moved around the kitchen in boxers.
The navy material gripped his arse like she wanted to.
The scars threading down his back didn’t make her sad now that she understood him better.
His darkness wasn’t as threatening, and now that he’d shared it, it lost its hold over him. During one of their control sessions, he’d stood with her on his shoulders and mouth fucked her to orgasm. He revelled in the power he could have over her.
“Did I tell you Merryn and Elsie are coming over?” she stuttered.
“You did. We’ll save your punishment for later.
You need to be edged while you’re tied to my pull-up bar.
” She shivered at the possibility. “Or maybe I should make you play for me while I instruct you. I choose the location.” Millie held her breath.
“Once we’re away from here, I can buy things I want to use on you. ”
His stare didn’t leave her even as Merryn and Elsie appeared on the deck. “Oh my, Strike,” Merryn said, fake fanning herself. “It’s hotter in here than in the late morning sun.”
“Ladies,” he replied, smirking as Millie swallowed repeatedly at the idea of Strike’s plans. “I’ve made nibbles. Please enjoy them. I’ll be training in the gym.”
He chucked a T-shirt on, covering his back, but for one glorious moment, he hadn’t hidden his scars. Pride bloomed in her chest, making it hard to breathe.
He pecked Millie on the cheek, who struggled to tear her gaze away as he left the room.