Chapter Twenty-three #3
I feel as though a boulder has been lifted from me.
Allowing myself to overcome the fear that was laid upon me by men who abused me.
The trauma is still there, but Luca helped me fight it tonight.
A tear escapes thinking about the broken Rowan in her dorm, all alone, tending to her wounds that she didn’t ask for.
If she only knew what would be waiting for her on the other side…
Are we even on the other side? That we opened up and let the love of our life mend brokenness he didn’t even break.
I wipe my tears before he can see them when I hear him enter the bedroom.
“Come to me.” I right myself, scooting to the edge of the bed. He picks me up, walking me into the bathroom, and places a gentle kiss on my lips.
Luca places me on the ground in front of the clawfoot bathtub, the bubbles already forming, welcoming me to soak in them.
Stepping in, I ease myself down and let out a brief hiss when the hot water touches my bottom. Luca’s eyes get worrisome. “It’s okay. I’m good.” I smile at him, needing him to know that I truly am.
He bends down and gives me a deep kiss, looking me in the eyes.
Breaking the kiss, inches apart, he says, “This isn’t all over, just so you know.
I’m still angry at you, but my love for you overran those emotions.
My need for you is more potent than my anger.
” Pushing off the tub's lip, he heads to the shower to clean himself off.
I lay in the tub, everything running through my mind. His words, the glove, Roxy’s collar, David, everything. I wish I could enjoy my orgasm hangover, but my mind doesn't function like that when so much remains unknown.
After Luca finishes his shower, he leaves me alone in the tub. Occasionally, between the mindless thoughts, I’ll catch myself smiling. Smiling for what I overcame tonight with the help of the man I want to be with forever… I want to marry him.
“Oh, God.” That realization scared the hell out of me. I throw a hand over my mouth, trying to catch the loud words that had already escaped from between my lips.
Immediately, I sink my body and head under the water, needing to wash away that thought. There is too fucking much going on right now to think that way. That’s for later, not right now.
I stay under for as long as my lungs will let me.
When I break the surface, bubbles covering my face, their popping filling my ears, I wipe my eyes and open to find Luca standing over me.
The scream I let loose is loud and one of fright.
“Shit! You scared me,” I call up to him.
His face is weird; I can’t decipher it. Sitting up straighter, I ask, “What’s wrong? ” Worry now laces my voice.
He doesn’t speak, just stands there.
“Luca, what the hell?” I wipe the rest of the bubbles off my face, knowing I probably look crazy.
“It’s Clover. Matteo just called. She tried to take some pills, and she had to have her stomach pumped. She tried to kill herself, Rowan.” His words bounce around in my mind. Trying to understand them.
“Oh, my God. Where is she?” The water jostles around me in my haste to straighten up—Clover, this poor woman.
My heart breaks for her and what she’s had to endure.
Yes, mine was bad, but it was one night.
Clover’s was years and at the hands of her own father.
We’ve talked a bit while I was at Matteo’s, but nothing too in-depth, and now I hate myself.
But I knew I didn’t want to be prodded and asked questions, so I was giving her the same courtesy.
“She won’t speak to Matteo. She doesn’t have her sister anymore, so Matteo called to see if you’d come and spend a few nights with her.” He stares at me like he’s worried I’d say no.
“Of course. When?” Standing too fast, I almost slip on the porcelain tub bottom, steadying myself, water pooling from me. I step onto the bathmat. “Shit.”
Luca steadies me on my feet while laughing. “Tomorrow sometime.” He shrugs. “He’ll call us in the morning, but he just wanted me to ask you to make sure so he can make arrangements.”
“My heart hurts for her, Luca,” I tell him, grabbing the towel he hands me, drying off.
Letting it fall to the bathmat, I walk into our closet, pulling out one of his T-shirts that fits me like a nightgown.
Immediately, my hair soaks the shirt as it lies on my back, even before I exit the closet, Luca stands at the counter, my blow dryer already plugged in.
“Let me dry your hair.” He turns on the dryer, drowning out my giggle, because we both know I’ll go to bed with my hair soaking wet.
The hot air feels good on my now cold body.
He combs my hair, drying it, taking his time and being precise with each wet strand.
I watch him in the mirror, marveling at the man reflected back at me.
Reaching back, I grab his hand that’s brushing my hair, bringing it to my lips, kissing it.
Standing there, plans go into motion about how I can get to Catherine while I’m at Matteo’s.
I’m going to have to be smart about this.