Chapter Thirty-One
Rowan
I couldn’t sleep, tossing and turning, the constant what-if running through my mind about Luca and this job? Isn’t that how shit normally plays out? The final one does the person in; when they are out, the job doesn’t let them go. Instead, they stole their souls for themselves.
Nightmares plagued me: Luca dead, bleeding, and calling my name with his final breaths.
Finally, I gave up the thought of sleep and watched him sleep before I burrowed myself into his side, wanting to become one with him.
Listening to his heartbeat, letting my fingers glide over my name now tattooed over his heart.
That act solidified his love for me. Showed me he's in this. I couldn’t think of anything else to get to cover up my scar besides the cross necklace he gave me.
It’s a perfect representation of all I’ve been through and of having him now. His forever to me is my forever to him.
As the sun rises, I take in his profile, his untamed beard from sleep, and the way his tattoos cover his body. He’s beautiful. And I am lucky to have found a man like him. That I know one hundred percent.
Everything I’ve ever wanted is lying right next to me, sleeping. My entire world is in this tiny apartment. And when he walks out of it later this morning, he’s taking it with him.
I lay staring at the ceiling, counting the spots of water damage, trying to occupy my racing mind, when he starts to wake up.
His arms reach out and pull my naked body to him. He presses his nose into my neck, breathing me in. “I love you.” His sleepy voice meets my ears.
“I love you, too.” I snuggle closer to him.
“One more time, baby. Just one.”
He doesn’t need to elaborate for me to know what he’s speaking about, and I hope it’s just this time.
I turn over so my back is to his stomach, letting him curl in on me.
“Can we just stay like this forever? Forget everything and everyone. Just be us and safe,” I ask him.
He pulls me even closer. “I wish we could, but this is my last act. Until I’m home with you, I need all thoughts to be on this job, Rowan.”
Breathing in, “I know, and it will be,” I tell him honestly. Because no matter what, Luca will do this job, and the only thoughts he’ll have will be on this job…not me, and not my own last act.
David is mine. Just like this is his. This is what I need to close the chapter and feel like everything is back in place again. Finally, put my demons to sleep and my thoughts buried.
“Damian will be just down the street if you need him. Don’t hesitate to reach out to him.” Luca looks me in the eyes, trying to see anything I’m hiding behind them, but he won’t find it. I’ve learned to hide everything well, and this he can’t find.
“I know. But I’ll be okay. Roxy and I will be waiting for you. Get in and out, Luca.” My hands rub his cheeks, my mind memorizing every piece of him.
His arms wrap around me, all-consuming. I hear him breathe me in, imprinting my smell. And I do the same. Leather and pine, with his own scent that could undo me with just a sniff, like a line of coke.
Kissing my head, then my forehead, his lips touch every inch of my face until they're on my lips, and they linger there. We both don’t want to break it, but finally, I do. My hand lays over his tattoo. “Hurry back home. I love you.”
He gives me a tight smile. “I love you.” Before turning and leaving the apartment. The moment the door shuts behind him, my stomach sinks, my fears invade once again, and I drop to my knees.
“I don’t ask for much, but I’m begging you. Please protect him. Bring him home to me in one piece and healthy. Watch over him, please,” I beg God, but I’d beg the devil if it meant Luca was safe.
Tears roll down my face into my mouth. I swallow them down like holy water, praying they wash me of the sins I’m fixing to commit.
I sit on my knees, the plan of action goes into motion, my next steps and how to get there. I know Damian won’t be on my ass; he’ll be here if I call him. But I know I can’t go to David’s during the day; it has to be at night when I know no one will come to check on me.
Standing, I rifle through my tote, pulling out my knife and thigh holster. The sunshine hits the blade, sending prisms onto the wall as I turn it, tracing the engraving. Knowing that I need more than just a knife when I go to David's.
Before I knew it, I had my phone in hand, renting a car. I can’t take Lucas; it has to stay here. I need people to think I’m holed up in the apartment.
I want to get this done and taken care of before Luca gets home. I want to finish this shit. Be done. Like Luca will be with his job.
The apartment feels even smaller without Luca here; I don’t know how that is possible.
I’ve sat around all day, my mind spinning, thoughts racing, only going outside to take Roxy to use the restroom, pick up my rental car, and grab a prepaid phone.
The rental is parked parallel to the coffee shop.
It’s inconspicuous, a black two-door Honda.
Roxy and I share a sandwich as we sit in the quiet apartment. I don’t let my mind go further than what is happening later. Not to the days I used to occupy this place alone and afraid. I don’t feed those thoughts.
Being in this place has only intensified my need to end David. I feel like I’ve come full circle.
With a toss of the last bite of the sandwich, Roxy catches it.
“I need you to be a good girl.” I pet her head, and her tail wags.
Stepping into my boots, my thigh holsters in place, I sheath my knife, pulling on my coat that covers it up, before grabbing the prepaid phone, I’ve already loaded with all the numbers I could think I needed if shit goes wrong.
I know Luca has tracking on my phone, so it’s staying here on the charger.
I send him a text.
*I love you. I’m fixing to lie down, watch something and try to go to sleep. My stomach is hurting a bit.
That part isn’t a lie, but I know the reason as to why.
I wait around until he answers me back. Finally, my phone pings.
*I love you too, baby. Take your pills and get some rest. It could be all your nerves. I’ll message you later tomorrow. Be sure to lock the door.
I can’t help but roll my eyes. He knows that the doors stay locked.
*They are.
I turn on Do Not Disturb, hoping that if he happens to message me, he’ll think nothing of it.
Locking the door on the way out, I take one step at a time, taking in my surroundings and making sure the coast is clear before I head to the car.
I’m out of town faster than I thought possible, with a straight shot to the property.
I keep the music loud and sing along, but when Taylor Swift’s Father Figure gets shuffled into the mix.
My foot pushes the gas pedal harder and I’m screaming the words, driving without really thinking. My body on autopilot.
I don’t stop but drive straight to the house. My need to get the supplies and get back to the apartment makes my skin itch.
Pulling onto the dirt road, everything is dark. The only light is the headlights illuminating the dark night.
Slowly, I pass by the tree and send a kiss to Lauren. Turning off my headlights before I make it over the hill. The house is dark, and chills run over my body. I didn’t think this part through with having someone coming around and being out here, but I’m not turning back now.
“Fuck.” I know if I went through the doors, the alarms being disarmed, Luca could find out I was here. Hoping he doesn’t check the cameras for any reason, I keep my fingers crossed.
With the push of a button, the garage door opens, and I know my only option is sitting in the garage. It’ll have to make do.
Jumping out, not looking around, I run into the garage, pushing into a false section of the wall.
Breathing a sigh of relief when I see the two handguns on their mounts, bullets at the ready.
“Thank you, Luca.” I grab both of them and the bullets before shutting it back, heading back out of the garage, but stop in my tracks when I spot the rope.
An evil smile mars my face as I grab it.
Running to the car, I hop in and lock my doors before placing the guns, ammo, and rope on the seat, securing the garage door.
“Let’s hope I don’t get pulled over,” I murmur to the empty car, not having a way to explain this away.
Because it’s a murder kit, plain and simple.
Deciding to place the guns in the glove box, the ammo in the middle console, throwing the rope behind my seat.
Turning the car around, I switch my headlights back on.
Heading back out, my lights flash on something in the tree line.
Hitting the brakes so hard that I bounce forward.
My blood runs cold when I spot a person’s shape.
I can’t see what they look like or hell if they're male or female, but we both watch the other. My hands squeeze the steering wheel before I punch the gas, hauling ass down the gravel driveway. The whole time, my eyes are jumping from the road to the woods, scared even though I’m in a moving car with it locked.
Skidding onto the paved highway, I speed as far away from the house as I can.
My heart beats faster than it should be.
Fright overtaking my bones. My eyes keep looking in the rearview mirror, making sure it’s still dark behind me, never taking my foot off the gas, and that’s when I notice it. The gas light is on.
“Not now,” I cry out, hitting the steering wheel. Knowing the next gas station is in about twelve miles and this stupid ass car is saying I only have ten miles left of gas.
I turn off the AC and roll the windows down. Does that even work on preserving gas? I don’t know, but the hell if I’m not going to do it. “Please, please. Please.” I repeat. As my finger taps the steering wheel, when all I want to do is pull my skin off of them.
After nine minutes, I finally see lights, and my stomach stops hurting. “Almost there, girl,” I coo to the car, needing her to still be good to me.
I haul ass into the gas station, stopping hard at the pump, jumping out, hurriedly filling the car up, all the while trying to calm my anxiety.
While I wait for the tank to fill up, I look to the open gas station, needing something to keep me up for the rest of the way back to the apartment, knowing the anxiety crash will be coming soon.
Topping off the tank, I replace the nozzle and return the gas cap before running into the station, grabbing an energy drink and Skittles.
Impatient while the cashier takes his time ringing me up.
Tapping my card on the card reader, I notice movement out of the corner of my eye outside.
Looking, I see someone standing behind my car, their vehicle right behind mine.
“Ma’am? Ma’am.”
“Huh?” I mutter to the cashier.
“Do you want a…” I leave him speaking, grab my things, and walk outside, never taking my eyes off the man standing next to the car.
I maneuver my way so that the cashier can still see me, but when I glance back, his head is in his phone, not paying attention.
“It’s too late out here for you to be alone.” His voice is thick, as if he’s smoked his whole life.
My eyes dart to him and my blocked door, while I pocket the Skittles, holding the can, my other hand goes to my thigh, hand on the knife handle.
“That’s none of your business, now, is it?” I cockily reply, knowing I shouldn’t piss him off, but not giving a fuck. I’m tired of men thinking they run shit. Thinking they have authority over women and can let their balls swing freely.
He laughs at me, and that just pisses me off even more. Not giving a fuck, I unsheathe my knife, bringing it out from under my coat. “Fuck with me and I’ll cut your dick off and make you choke on it.”
“Well, don’t you have a vulgar little mouth?” He takes a step closer to me, and I take a step back. Not letting him get any closer to me.
He taps on my car hood. “You shouldn’t be out late and by yourself. There are bad people out here.”
I squint my eyes at him, trying to make out the size difference of the person I spotted in the woods, but how did they get to me so fast? No one was behind me.
I’m confused when he backs away from my car door until he gets to the trunk. Not saying a word, he turns around and hops into his truck. I look at the license plate, trying to singe the numbers into my memory.
As he pulls away, he smiles at me, showing his teeth, and in that moment, I can feel all the blood drain from my face. I’ve seen that smile a million times, even in my dreams. It’s a smile I want to see on my deathbed, but it’s on the wrong man…
Hurrying into the car, I lock the doors, laying the knife on my lap. I don’t move from my spot. I sit. So many thoughts are floating through my mind. I shake them off, but they won’t go away. That man could have been an older, smaller Luca, without the beard.
Complete silence and confusion filled the next two and a half hours back to the apartment. When I pull up to the spot I vacated hours ago, I don’t even know how I made it back here. My eyes barely stay open as the sun makes its appearance. I drag myself up the stairs, hearing Roxy barking.
“Fuck.” I remember I left the guns in the car. I hurriedly grab Roxy’s leash before we head back downstairs, letting her do her business, before grabbing the guns and ammo, leaving the rope where it lay.
Finally, after I take care of Roxy, I fall onto the bed, and tiredness wins out, taking me under.