Chapter Four
Arianna
“Come on, guys. Are you fucking kidding me?” Dom shouts.
“How are you settling in?” Ray asks as we stand at the entrance to the rink.
“Good. A few of the guys forcefully helped me unpack.” I laugh.
“That’s good. They’re good guys,” he says, and I laugh dryly.
“Uh oh. Which one is it?” he asks. “Is someone giving you a hard time?”
“Eli and Jovi aren’t my biggest fans,” I say. “Nothing I can’t handle.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah.” I smile.
“Alright. Meeting. Everyone on the ice,” Dom calls out. I step out of the way, and everyone goes out, but I stay where I am. “Ray. Ari. That means you, too.”
“No,” I say quietly, looking at Ray. “I can’t. I’m sorry. No.”
“Hey. Hey. Hey,” Ray says when I back up.
“I can’t,” I say, shaking my head.
“I am right here with you. Okay?” Ray says, offering me his hand. “I swear to God, I will not leave your side. Okay?”
“Ray,” I say tearfully.
“You told me to push you, so I am pushing,” he says. “You busted your ass to be here, so we are doing this. Okay?”
“Okay,” I say, wiping a tear from my cheek. I walk to the edge of the rink, and Dom comes over.
“You okay?” Dom asks.
“She...” Ray starts to say.
“I’m fine,” I lie. I have a death grip on Ray’s hand as we step onto the ice.
“There ya go. You did it. Baby steps, remember?” Ray says quietly. That’s what he and Mom used to say to me every day for the last six months. Every single time I would want to give up, or when I’d be in tears, they would remind me to focus on little goals.
Dom and Ray walk slowly with me before finally getting to the center. “You okay, Ari?” Kip asks.
“Uhm… Yeah,” I say as everyone stares at me.
“You’ve been doing this for three years, and you can’t walk on ice?” Elijah asks hatefully.
“Stop,” Ray says with a warning in his tone.
“No. If she is going to be our assistant, we deserve someone who can at least walk on the goddamn ice,” he argues.
“Eli,” Dom says. “This is not the place for this.”
“Where is the fucking place then? All I have seen in the last day is everyone fucking babying her,” he says, nearly yelling.
“When you get violently raped with hockey sticks before getting your head beaten into the ice, then you can talk about how fucking easy it is to get on this rink. Until then, shut the fuck up,” I yell at him.
“When being a good person nearly gets you fucking killed, then you get to have an opinion. The last thing I want is for anyone to baby me. I don’t need anyone’s fucking pity.
I need a little fucking patience because this is the first time in six months I have stepped on the ice since they ruined my fucking life.
So, for once in your goddamn life, just shut the fuck up. ”
“Are you really going to let her talk to me like that?” Elijah asks Dom.
“That’s all you have to fucking say?” I scream at him. “God, you are just fucking like them. Both of you.”
“Slow down,” Ray says, turning me to face him.
“Ray,” I snap. “I don’t need to fucking meditate; I need those two fucking assholes to stop being so goddamn bitter about the team I came from.”
“Is that what this is about?” Dom asks Elijah, glancing at Jovian.
“Why are you looking at me?” Jovi asks.
“Bullshit travels in pairs,” Dom says flatly.
“We have been trying to get her to come here for years. I offered her the job several times, many of which were while she was in college. She is here because she graduated at the top of her class and got a master’s in business administration by twenty-two.
She is here because she is good at what she does.
Sutter was a fucking idiot for firing her, but a monster for letting her get hurt in the first place.
Now, if you two limp dicks would shut up, I need to explain something that affects the PAs. Okay?”
“Fine,” Elijah sighs.
“The PAs?” I ask.
“Yes, so the Hawkes were banned from the North American Hockey League for the season after all but three of their players tested positive for steroids,” he says.
“So, we are having to shift the entire schedule. We should have had a home game with the Titans the week after next, but it’s changed to an away game this Friday.
I am not making everyone ride home that late, so I need hotel rooms for the guys the night before and the night after.
Everyone needs to be on the same floor, so make sure you are sharing your schedules with each other.
Ari, I still need to get you a company card, so just use Ray’s.
Guys, this is the first game with them since you almost got yourselves kicked out of the league.
I have no fucking problem replacing you, so don’t fuck up. Got it?”
I hardly hear his answer as the room starts to spin. I take a few steps back and try to slow my breathing. I can only hear the thumping of my heart in my ears as my vision tunnels. I am panicking silently, and I can’t make it stop. I can’t melt down here. I have to get away from everyone.
“Arianna?” Ray asks when our eyes connect. I’ve panicked so hard before that I’ve made myself pass out. I can feel it coming on, but when I take another step back, one foot catches the other.
“Oh shit!” someone says as I trip and fall backward.
The next thing I know, someone is cradling the back of my head as I lie on the ice. I have my hands covering my face, but they get pulled away. “I’m okay,” I whisper.
“You are going to give me a goddamn heart attack, Arianna,” Ray says.
“I just tripped. I’m okay,” I say again. I am shocked when I look over and see that it is Elijah who caught me. I frown at him, but he stands and grabs my hands to pull me up.
“You’ve already bloodied up one rink. Let’s not make it two, hmm?” Elijah says with a smirk.
“Ass.” I laugh and punch his arm.
“Ow! Did you see that, Dom?”
“Didn’t see a damn thing,” Dom says. “Can you guys please get along?”
“Yes,” Elijah says.
“He’s still a dick, but yes,” I say.
“And this goes for everyone,” Dom says. “I’m probably going to be the next one to get hit, but look out for Ari, okay?
She will never admit when she is struggling or ask for help when she needs it, but she does.
She is damn good at her job, and we have no reason at all to think she can’t do it, but we are a family.
She is a part of this family now. If you all could help David when he hurt his knee, you can help Ari when she struggles…
The reason I wanted to do this meeting was that Friday will be the first time she’s seen that rink since she was hurt.
Ray knows her better than anyone here, and when he is willing to piss her off to make sure everyone knows she will need support—but to still be pushed to keep going—I am going to stand by that. ”
“I don’t mean to sound insensitive,” a woman says. “But… why go there at all? I don’t know if I could go back to the place I got hurt.”
“Because she’s hard-headed like her momma,” Ray says, making me laugh.
“My name is Laken Rockwell, by the way,” she says. “I am the PA for the second line. Janice is the PA for the third.”
“I spent months relearning how to do basic things and be able to function day to day,” I say.
“I was fired the same day I woke up from the coma, and I was determined to succeed despite what happened. I’ve accepted that I’ll have to go back one day and see that rink.
It’s not to say it won’t be hard, because it will be.
I try to pretend that I don’t get triggered by things, but I do.
I will be the last to admit if I am in pain.
I could easily walk away, but then they win.
Everyone who hurt me or didn’t support me wins. ”
“So… are we skipping over your lie?” Jovian asks.
“Really?” Dom deadpans.
“No, I think this is important,” Jovian says. “Ari, you said you didn’t know who hurt you. That was a lie. You said to Eli that we were just like them, which I take offense to, by the way.”
“I shouldn’t have said that. I have full confidence you’d finish me off and not leave me to bleed out on the ice,” I say, making Ray laugh.
“Yes. I know who it is. I have no way to prove it, and the police don’t give a shit.
The coaches don’t give a shit, and I am confident that they know who did it but are protecting them.
If I speak up, I risk dying next time. They have the money and the means to make it happen.
I am choosing to move on and save myself from that pain again. ”
“What can we do to support you?” Dom asks. “This meeting is entirely about protecting you.”
“So you corner me on the ice, of all places, and make me talk about it?” I ask.
“Yes,” Ray says. “You told me to push, so I am pushing.”
“I meant make me get up and learn to walk, not confess my trauma in front of twenty-five people,” I snap, but close my eyes and take a deep breath.
“Ari, I love you. You are like a daughter to me, so I am going to play dad for a second. If you want me to support you and you don’t want me to sit you out of those games, they need to know that happened.
Your trauma matters, and I can’t keep you safe if you are too damn stubborn to even eat regularly. ”
“You are annoying,” I say with a frown.
“In my defense, your mom made me do it,” he says, pointing to the glass where Mom is waiting behind it. She smiles before stepping on the ice.
“Hey, Mrs. Denver,” Connor says with a smile.
“You boys being good?” she asks before hugging me.
“Trying to.” Kip laughs.
“I didn’t know you were still helping out,” I say to Mom.
“Yeah. I started helping a few months ago when Dom and Ray’s PA retired,” she says. “Go on. Tell them.”
“Why?” I ask.
“Because you are about to have to be in that place again, around the people who hurt you. With no proof, speaking up puts you at risk. This means that you need to make sure those fuckers can’t get to you again,” Mom says.
“How did you know I was lying?” I ask.