Chapter 2
CHAPTER
TWO
I wander shell-shocked from the meeting room, disbelief setting in. How did I get myself into this situation? Because you never know when to shut up, Jesse. I’m not normally given this level of responsibility. I usually just make sure the page files are in the right format, and get to the right places. Sure, I contact the talent now and again, but usually just to check a simple thing like ‘hey, do we have the right spelling of your name here’ or ‘did you need any issues in particular as prep work for your arc’. Never signing anyone up for a book.
And it is a big deal book: Excelsior Comics has never done a special for Pride Month before. We’ve done annual specials for Black History Month, Women’s History Month, honoring Latinx and Asian and disabled characters and creators, but never have they ever done something focused on the LGBTQ+ community. And yeah, we totally should have. Over the last couple years, with the specials becoming almost bi-monthly in regularity, it was always a bit glaring that June went unnoticed by the company.
Not to mention, at this point, Marvel and DC, our most direct competitors in the industry, have been doing it for a few years now, making our omission all the more glaring. The online community enjoys coming up with vast homophobic conspiracies for why Excelsior still hadn’t done one.
So this is a huge deal. And I’ve now got to make sure we get a big new talent on it. No pressure.
I look to the phone in my hand, opening my text messages and looking at the one that I know will bring me down to earth with a crash. The temptation to tap on the icon is so strong, it’s practically drawing me in like a magnet.
“Jesse! A word…” Anna calls out from her office, giving me a pretty serious look. I put my phone in my pocket and head over.
“Hey, Anna, I am so sorry, I don’t know what came over me, I just?—”
“Don’t worry about it,” she cuts me off, as she circles around her desk, before resting her hands on it and leaning forward, looking up at me. “Close the door and get in here.”
She looks tired, but her eyes warily move to the door over my shoulder, so I turn and close it with a click. It’s strange: Anna usually operates an open door policy, only closing it if someone is about to get a serious dressing down. Shit, I really fucked up didn’t I.
Anna is older than me, but not really that much older than me. She’s in her mid-thirties and has been with Excelsior for about six years now, after coming over from Dark Horse Comics. She made a name for herself as an editor and rose the ranks early. She may be small, when standing she barely comes up to my chest, but she carries herself with an air of fierce strength that is disarming and has probably served her in good stead as a no-nonsense voice in the industry. She keeps her hair short, auburn, shaved back and sides with a longer top, strands sometimes falling down as far as her ear, which she blows away with a huff.
She takes a seat behind her desk when the door is closed, spins on the wheel of it, before returning to fixing me with her absolute focus, puffing a loose strand of hair out of her face. After a second, she beams a smile at me, in her bright red lipstick.
“Firstly, congratulations, Jesse! That really took some guts to jump in with a suggestion in there. I know we’ve never got you getting very hands on here, but even then I hope you’ve always felt part of the production process.” She sounds genuine, and she motions for me to take the seat opposite her.
“Uh, sure,” I say, slowly taking a seat. “I guess I shouldn’t have spoken up, and I’m sorry if I overstepped, but I guess I’m just excited about this book.”
“Me too,” she smiles, and I can hear in her voice that she really means it. “We should have done this years ago, and I fought for it pretty much each and every one of those years before Hank finally gave it the green light.”
“Hank never wanted to do one before?” I’m genuinely surprised. He’s seemed really enthusiastic about this project since we started, and that meeting earlier…
“Let’s just say Hank didn’t think that it was time yet for taking queer superheroes front and center. I think he only agreed to it this time because he hates that Marvel and DC beat us to the punch, and have had a lot of goodwill and success out of it. I think he expected their initiative to crash and burn,” the smile fades, and she draws me in. “Speaking of Hank - you’ve got his attention now. So be careful.”
What? “What?”
Anna leans back in her chair, pursing her lips like she’s trying to decide how to proceed next. “I can’t say any more here. Not in the office.”
“Do you think he’s going to kick me out?” I hate that my voice goes up an octave at the thought of it.
“Ha, I don’t think there’d be kicking involved, but who knows,” she shrugs, a sardonic smile playing across her lips, before she again fixes me with a serious look. “No, you’re safe in that regard, Jesse. Do what you were told to do, and this could really be a big step up for you.
“But if you really want to know more…come and see me at O’Malleys after you clock off later.”
I’m surprised. Anna’s only invited me to O’Malley’s, an Irish pub a few blocks over from the Excelsior Comics offices that the staff tend to frequent and often take the talent over to when they’re in town, once or twice. Usually as part of a big team get together or meal. Never socially one on one. “Okay. Um, I guess I will,” I fidget in my seat. “I kinda don’t know what to do now?”
“Well,” she says, sitting back and smiling at me again, “I’d suggest you message that writer and convince him to get on board, hadn’t you?”
Hi Arran! Sorry to slide into your DMs all unexpected, but I wondered if I might be able to shoot you a question?
Sure, Jesse! Long time no speak! What’s up?
So, I dunno if you know this, we might have never spoken about it, but I work at Excelsior Comics.
Well, I’m an intern there. But anyway. I’ve been asked to reach out to you to ask you about a project
…
Are you kidding me?
Err nope. Sorry, should I have said something sooner?
LOL no, you’re cool. I just…Excelsior wants to speak to me about a project?
I mean, vagueness notwithstanding, you’re kind of blowing my mind right now
HA! Yeah, well, you’re good and I said we should get you, so…
Aww, you did? That’s so sweet of you. But damn, interns have all that much power for hiring?
LOL not really. I mostly get the coffee.
Um, maybe we could talk about this off DM? Like, email?
Sure! I’ll send you my email now. I’m really excited to hear more
And you know I’m coming to New York for NYCC right? We could get that drink and have a face to face if that’s easier.
OMG that would be so awesome, for real. But yeah, lemme get that email over to you.
I think you’ll be really excited.
“Hank Wolowitz is gay?!”
Anna shushes me, as I realize how loud I was being, a couple people at tables around us flashing a look our way before returning their attention to their drinks and meals. Anna got herself some dinner too, but I’m trying to save a little money and I know I have another sachet of ramen waiting for me at home, so I just grabbed a soda. Right now, I’m kinda wishing I could sink into it and hide amongst the bubbles. “Oh my god, did I just out Hank Wolowitz?”
Anna lets out a brief snort. “As if. No, honey, Hank is well-known and pretty openly gay. I’m just honestly astonished you didn’t know.”
“Well, he didn’t exactly work on loads of gay books or anything, and I’m not exactly hanging out with him after work,” I say, fiddling with the straw in my drink. “I mean, come on, this is even Excelsior’s first Pride issue, and he’s been around, like, forever…”
“Yup. And it was an uphill struggle for me to get him to commit to it this year, truth be told.” Anna rolls her eyes, less at me and more at the memory of the back-bending and begging she had to do to get this book made, I guess.
“So wait, he really didn’t want to make it? Even though he’s gay too?”
“I’ve been pushing for the last few years, but he always had some excuse. He didn’t think it made commercial sense, or the market wasn’t there for queer led superhero books, it would alienate the fans etc etc. I finally got him to cave by pointing out Marvel and DC have done it now, successfully I might add, so we were trailing behind. He hates feeling like we’re on the back foot.” She takes a cut of her vegan steak and chomps it in her mouth.
I try to shut down my brain’s attempt to work out just what a vegan steak is made of, and use all my effort to control my face so it doesn’t betray how uneasy the idea makes me feel.
“Huh,” I say, leaning back. I’m kind of surprised on one hand, but on another, I can totally see that. After all, it certainly explains a lot. As much as I love comics, and the joy of making these bright colorful worlds filled with heroes proclaiming for virtues of idealistic truth and justice, the publishers are capitalist machines, same as anything else.
No matter what step forward they make, it’ll always come down to money in some way in the end. Whether trying to capture new audiences and bring them in to read the books, or just a way to take advantage of a news headline grabbing technique to draw attention, it’s often a lot more about the bottom line.
I give Anna a moment to finish up her meal as I suck on my drink, taking in the room. O’Malley’s isn’t exactly a big place, deeper than it is wide. From the outside, it practically looks like a little hole in the wall, but you step in and the bar stretches back a ways, plus the second floor quickly adding a number of extra tables for seating upstairs really creates way more space than you’d think. It’s kinda dark, but not in an oppressive way, more going for the idea of rustic charm. A cozy atmosphere that fosters camaraderie and positive moods more inclined to buy more drinks.
It’s what makes it so great for the convention get-togethers and for schmoozing with the talent. Especially the talent from the UK. The decor here is that kind of faux-Irish, ‘old country’ charm, in the middle of the bustling metropolis of Manhattan. Reminds them of home, while getting them good and relaxed so we can really talk business (and it’s absurd how much of our business takes place in bars, let me tell you).
“So how does this all relate to me being ‘careful’ with Hank, anyway?” I finally ask the question that’s been on my mind all afternoon, since Anna gave me that cryptic warning after my inadvertent leap of faith at the morning meeting.
Anna gently wipes at her mouth, and it’s like I can see her editing her response on the fly. Like she has to think how she’s going to say this. Which just adds to the tension as my mind starts racing with the possibilities. Just what has my big mouth got me into now?
“Okay, so what I’m about to tell you goes no further than here. Whilst it’s kind of well known as rumors at this point, and you know how rumors are in this industry, it’s still not something you should go around repeating,” she says, fixing me with a stare that locks my attention to her, a smile like a thin line across her face. She’s telling me something serious, but not trying to scare me. It’s not really working.
“Hank has a bit of a taste for…well, younger guys. Especially guys with a boyish look still about them, and skinny, and well…” she flounders, waving her hands in circles.
“You can say ‘twinks’, I don’t mind. I know what I am,” I say, throwing her a life line.
She chuckles, mirthlessly. “Yeah, okay, that’s about right. Well, he’s been known to like to rely on his other impressive feats to attract those guys, especially if they’ve caught his eye. Often with promises. And well, you would kind of fit that whole raison d’être, wouldn’t you, Jesse.”
“I mean…thanks? But are you saying he uses promises to get guys like me a gig to, what, get in their pants?” Anna tilts her head and rolls her eyes, in a subtle, wordless way of saying ‘ kind of ’. “I mean, thank you for warning me, but I’m sure he’s not going to try that with me. Like, he didn’t even know that I want to write comics too, did he?”
“Well, he does now,” Anna points out, and I tilt my head to concede her point.
“And I don’t know what you mean about having to rely on that, he’s not an unattractive guy. I mean, I don’t really go for older dudes, but he’s got a bit of a daddy vibe to him, I guess.”
Anna’s face folds in on itself in a brief flash of disgust at the thought. “Ew. No, I am not going there about my boss , thank you very much,” she pushes her plate aside and leans forward. “Look, Jesse, you’re an intern at Excelsior Comics. There’s generally only two kinds of people who wind up going into unpaid labor at a comics company: people looking to rise up the ranks in editorial, or wannabe comic creators looking to learn the tricks of the trade and make connections. And that’s fine, because, honey, that’s the way of the world, for better or worse. But that doesn’t mean it can’t be taken advantage of, and regularly does.
“Look, I’m a woman in this industry, and more than that a gay woman. And as a gay guy , even an intern, you’ve probably seen a bit of it already. But a lot of this industry is still predicated on the ‘good old days’ of friends and favors. You know some of that has been used in a predatory way too. We’ve heard enough bad shit to know to be wary of it as we try and make this industry work better and catch up with the 21 st century. So I’m just saying…christ, what am I saying?”
She leans back, her drink in her hand, as she takes a long sip, measuring her thoughts.
“Hank is a good guy, overall. And he’s an amazing editor. He wouldn’t be where he is now were he not, friends and favors or otherwise. But the guy can get dickstracted bad and you’re just the kind of guy that has the power to make him lose his better senses. But if he does do that, that is not on you, that is on him and his lack of self-control and is not something that should be stood for. So if he ever makes you feel uncomfortable, or asks you to do something you feel is too far, I want you to come to me right away. Do you understand?”
I sit there agog, but then I close my mouth and nod curtly.
“Good. Okay. Good talk,” she waves over at the waiter to signal for the bill. “Look, I better go. I just…I just needed you to know that if anything gets too much, I am here for you, no matter what it is.”
“Sure,” I nod again. “Thanks, Anna.”
“Honestly, any time. Right, well, we both have a lot to do now. You better get reaching out to that writer, huh?”
I jump at the opportunity to get out of the intense atmosphere we’ve been steeped in. “Actually, already have! And he’s interested. He’s sent me his email address, so I figure I’ll pass that along and someone will send him the more official pitch for it, right?”
Anna smiles at me. “You know what, Jesse. Usually, yes. But let’s see how you handle the responsibility. Come see me first thing on Monday, and I’ll go over wording with you and then I’ll let you run with it.”
It’s time for my mouth to drop in shock again. “Really?” I shake my head, and switch my professional side back on. “I mean, sure, I can do that. I got this.”
Anna stands and as she passes me, she places her hand on my shoulder. “I know, kid. I have every faith in you. And if I’m really honest, I should have offered this step up to you ages ago. But just…remember what I said.”
I watch as she leaves, the weight of everything she’s told me pressing down on my mind. Is that why Hank gave me the task of getting Arran? Or is it just trusting a new colleague? Do I have it in me to do it? It’s just an email, right?
I check my watch and realize my shift at the bar is just a half hour away, and I throw myself to my feet, throw five bucks down as a tip and race out the door. All thoughts of comics drama and industry intrigue leaving my brain, replaced by fear I’m going to be late for another shift.