Chapter 54
CHAPTER
FIFTY-FOUR
Natalie climbed the stairs to her bedroom, the weight of the Italy trip pressing down on her like a physical burden.
Her father had been insistent at brunch—they’d leave at three o’clock, no delays, no excuses.
She didn’t always obey her father. She was an adult, after all.
But he wasn’t always this insistent. When he was like this, she knew better than to argue.
And what should she do about Jonathan? He could have information that they needed.
Could she sneak away?
She pulled her suitcase from the closet and stared at it, remembering the last time she’d packed for a trip with her father. A weekend in the mountains when she was sixteen, back when everything had been simple. Back when she’d trusted him completely.
A soft knock at her door made her turn.
Hudson stood in the doorway, his expression uncertain in a way she’d never seen before. Not the confident Timothy Shaw. Not the tactical operative Hudson Roberts. Just a man who looked like he didn’t know what to say.
“Can I come in?” he asked, his voice quiet.
Natalie wanted to say no. Wanted to keep the walls up, keep him at a distance where he couldn’t hurt her anymore.
But she nodded.
Hudson closed the door behind him and quickly checked the room for any bugs.
Then he stood in front of her. “I’d like to send a Blackout member to meet Jonathan.”
“What?”
He nodded, reassuring her she’d heard correctly. “It will be safer that way, just in case it’s a trap.”
“But he’ll know it’s not me.”
“Maybe not at first. We can make someone look like you. We’re professionals.”
She let the thought simmer a minute. “I don’t know . . .”
“You won’t be able to meet him—not with your father so close.”
She couldn’t argue with that statement.
Finally, she sighed. “Okay then. If that’s what we need to do.”
She gave him the details.
“I’ll set it up.” He paused.
She expected him to leave.
Instead, he said, “There’s something I need to tell you. And I need you to really hear me, even if you don’t believe me.”
She braced herself for whatever he was about to say.
Hudson felt the weight of everything unsaid pressing down on him like a physical force.
“I need to tell you the truth. For once.” Hudson moved closer but stopped a few feet away, giving her space.
He could see the walls she’d built, the defensive posture, the way she held herself like she was bracing for another blow.
“You’re right about everything you’ve said,” he continued. “I approached you as an assignment. The cooking class, the conversations, the dates—it all started as part of an operation to get close to your father.”
He watched her chest rise and fall, saw the way her hands clenched at her sides. Hearing him admit it out loud hurt her, and that knowledge felt like a knife twisting in his gut.
But she needed to hear this. All of it.
“But somewhere along the way,” Hudson continued, his voice rougher than he intended, “it stopped being an assignment. What I feel for you—that’s real, Natalie.
When I’m with you, when I see you smile, when you challenge me or make me laugh—that’s not the operative doing his job.
That’s me. Hudson. The man who fell in love with you without meaning to. ”
“Don’t,” she whispered, and the pain in that single word nearly broke him. “Don’t say that.”
“Why? Because it’s easier to believe I’m a monster who feels nothing? That every moment we shared was calculated manipulation?”
She said nothing, just stared at him with those expressive brown eyes that saw too much, that made him want to be someone better than who he was.
Hudson longed to close the distance between them, to pull her into his arms and make her understand. But he stayed where he was, giving her the space she needed even as everything in him screamed to reach for her.
“I wish it was that simple.” His words came faster now, intensity building with each sentence.
“I wish I could compartmentalize you the way I’m supposed to.
But I can’t, Natalie. I care about you. I care about what happens to you.
And I’m terrified that if you get on that plane today, something terrible is going to happen and I won’t be there to protect you. ”
“Does this mean you’re not coming?” Her voice was small, and Hudson hated that he’d made her sound that way.
He rubbed his jaw, the stubble rough against his palm. “I can’t. I have a terrorist attack to stop.”
She nodded slowly, like she’d expected that answer. “I figured as much.”
“I want you far away and safe, but . . .” Hudson paused, trying to find the right words.
“I fear for whatever situation that might put you in. If your father is responsible for this, law enforcement all over the world will be tracking him down. His enemies could be tracking him. I don’t want you to be harmed in the process. I care about you too much for that.”
“Why are you telling me this now?” Natalie demanded, and Hudson heard both anger and hurt warring in her voice.
His jaw tightened, tension coiling in his shoulders. This was it—the moment where he laid everything bare and hoped it would be enough.
“Because if you get on that plane to Italy I may never see you again. And I couldn’t live with myself if I let you leave thinking everything between us was a lie.”
The words hung in the air between them, raw and honest in a way Hudson hadn’t been since this whole operation started.
He watched Natalie’s face, searching for any sign that she believed him, that somewhere beneath the hurt and betrayal she still felt what he felt.
But her expression remained guarded, walls still firmly in place.
And Hudson realized that no matter what he said, no matter how much truth he spoke, he might have already destroyed any chance they had.
Some wounds cut too deep to heal with words alone.