Chapter 19
NINETEEN
GE
AG
Your bragging could use some work.
But your stick handling has gotten better.
GE
That’s what I like to hear! I’ve been working hard.
AG
Are you ambidextrous?
GE
Jeez, Green. Buy a guy a drink before you ask a question like that.
AG
*Attachment: 1 image*
Does a BodyArmor bottle count?
GE
Hmmm. You’re good.
I AM ambidextrous. How did you know?
AG
You switched your stick in the third period when we played against you two weeks ago and started shooting with a dominant left hand.
GE
Sneaky, huh?
I prefer to play right handed, but sometimes if I’m not connecting with the puck, I’ll switch to the left and see if that helps.
AG
You’re an enigma, Everett.
GE
I’m going to print that out and keep it in my locker. Thanks!
GE
I can do a lot of things in life, but I don’t know how to tie a bowtie.
*Attachment: 1 image*
I’ve watched eight YouTube tutorials, and I still can’t get this right.
AG
Do bowties not come already tied?
GE
I have to get it around my neck somehow, which is unfortunate for me.
AG
What’s the occasion for being dressed up?
GE
The team’s annual holiday gala! It’s a big thing. The season ticket holders come and there’s a live auction. People bid on the players.
That always turns a little shady, and I’m hoping I can get out unscathed.
AG
That sounds like my worst nightmare. Fingers crossed someone good bids on you!
GE
You and me both. Wish me luck.
AG
Did you survive your gala?
The pictures on social media looked really nice. And you figured out your tie!
You looked nice too.
GE
Yeah. It was fine.
AG
Everything okay?
GE
A woman won the bid on me, and things got weird. She cornered me and told me all the things she wanted to do to me, and HR had to get involved.
I know I’m a public figure, but what the hell am I supposed to say when someone lets me know they’re going to make a plaster model of my hand so she can pretend to hold it when I’m not around? Thanks, I guess?
AG
That’s disgusting.
I’m sorry you had to go through that.
GE
Not your fault.
That’s the tip of the iceberg, to be honest. Some of the messages I get on social media are even worse. People proposition me for money. They ask me to do things to them. It’s weird.
AG
I had someone send me an email and ask how much I’d sell my socks for.
The sweatier, the better, apparently.
Revolting.
GE
Pretty sure we should just BAN the internet at this point, because what the fuck?
AG
Please tell me you don’t have to see that woman again.
GE
Nope. I’m free, and I’m pretty sure the team is changing the logistics of the auction going forward.
AG
Nothing says happy holidays like a restraining order!
GE
You get it!
GE
Doing anything fun for the holidays?
AG
A quiet few days off, and it’s going to be perfect! I can’t wait.
What about you?
GE
Hanging with some of the guys. Gotta get through our game in Houston first!
Weird question that I promise has a point. Can I have your address?
I’m not going to show up outside your door or anything. Just wanted to send along a small (very small) Christmas gift.
AG
That sounds exactly like something someone who is going to show up outside my door would say.
GE
I promise I’m not!
Compromise—I can send it to the arena addressed to you.
AG
Perfect. Way less creepy!
AG
I’m cracking up.
*Attachment: 1 image*
I took a full twelve inches from Pete and all I got was this stupid T-shirt.
How did you know slightly suggestive clothing was my kryptonite?!
GE
I had no clue, but man am I glad I grabbed that when I got a sandwich the other day.
AG
Best gift EVER.
GE
Glad you like it :)