69. Amelia
SIXTY-NINE
AMELIA
“Dinner was fun.” Lainey adjusts her face mask and leans back on the couch. “I’m kicking myself for not bringing home a slice of the tiramisu to have as a midnight snack.”
“I think the button on my pants popped off. I’m so full.” Sienna groans and rests her head on a pillow. “What’s your schedule look like tomorrow, A?”
“I’m going to head to the arena around nine for a short practice and team meeting, then I’ll be home for lunch. I’ll head back to the arena around four or so, and after the postgame press conference, I’ll drive you all back here.” I smile. “Are you excited to watch some hockey?”
“I’d say I like watching sports I’m not emotionally invested in, but I’m invested in the Sea Crabs because of you. I hope you get the win, Amelia!” Lainey pats my hand. “We can’t wait to cheer for you.”
“It’s a shame Grant won’t be there,” Sienna muses. “He sure was nice.”
I smooth my hand over the blanket in my lap and drop my gaze to the floor.
This is it: my chance to come clean about my personal life. I so desperately want—need—to keep this secret safe, but I’m tired of hiding my happiness from my best friends.
They’ve sat through awkward dating stories.
They flooded the comment section with anonymous complaints after a blog post talked about my lack of experience coaching professional athletes.
They show up when I need them the most, and if I see any kind of future with Grant, I need to be honest with my girls.
“I have to tell you something. What I’m about to say can’t leave the apartment.” I reach forward, grabbing my whistle off the coffee table. “Swear on my most sacred possession.”
“If a whistle is your most sacred possession, sweetie, you need to get out of the house more,” Sienna teases, but she touches the silver. “I swear.”
“So do I,” Lainey adds, mimicking her.
“Thank you.” I take a deep breath and close my eyes. “Grant and I are dating, nobody knows that we’re seeing each other, and I’m falling in love with him.”
It’s an avalanche of words, and when I finish spilling my guts, nobody answers me.
After a beat without a response, I blink and find Lainey covering her mouth while Sienna smirks, her eyes tinged with mirth.
I hate the stretch of silence, but I don’t want to be the first to talk.
I feel cracked open after finally letting out what I’ve been carrying for so long, and someone else needs to start the conversation.
Beneath the raw ache of vulnerability and telling my deepest, darkest secret, I also feel unbelievably free. Relief courses through me. The pressure in my chest loosens. The air is lighter, and I didn’t realize how much holding this inside was nearly eating me alive.
“Oh my god,” Lainey squeals. I wince and cover my ears at the high-pitched tone. “Is Grant who you were talking about three years ago? The guy you wanted, but couldn’t have?”
“I knew I was catching a vibe between the two of you.” Sienna stands and jumps up and down. “Our girl is in love!”
“You need to tell us everything.” Lainey takes the whistle and sets it safely to the side. “From the very beginning, because now I’m trying to figure out all the times you’ve vaguely mentioned him.”
It turns out I vaguely mentioned him a lot.
I go through our story, starting back at that night in an Italian restaurant in Denver.
I talk about our friendship and the messages that kicked off our communication.
I tell them about the days I spent in his apartment in DC after Riley’s accident.
When I share about the first night we kissed, they both shriek.
I leave out some of the details that feel too intimate and personal to share; I don’t say that Grant was a virgin before we hooked up. I also don’t mention that his sister is dating Brody, knowing that’s part of his journey, not ours.
By the time I finish, an hour has passed. My throat is hoarse, my brain is mush, but gosh am I happy.
“And you’re falling in love with him?” Sienna asks.
It’s the bow that ties the story—our story—together. The perfect way to sum up the last six years of friendship, of secrecy, of complicated feelings that have led us here today.
Love.
It’s not even a question at this point but a fact. Something I no longer want to deny.
“Yeah,” I whisper, wetting my lips. “That’s a more recent discovery, but I am. I am falling in love with him. It’s terrifying and exciting, and I’m afraid of what it means for our future.”
“What do you mean? Do you not think he feels the same?” Lainey asks. “I watched you two during dinner, Amelia. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you.”
“I think he feels the same,” I say. “I-I know he does. I can’t describe it, but I can feel it when I’m with him.”
“So why are you afraid?”
“Because for as much as we exist in a happy bubble, there’s always the wonder of what happens if anyone finds out.
You two are the only ones who know about our relationship, and the number of people we can tell is next to zero,” I say.
“Is that sustainable? Will we eventually get too tired of having to hide everything and go our separate ways?”
“The reason no one can find out is because of your job, right?” Sienna asks, and I nod.
“We talked about this before when you mentioned a mystery man you were friend-zoning a couple years back. I get why you’re hesitant of the repercussions, Amelia, but I think at the end of the day, you have to decide if being with Grant and hiding it from everyone is more important to you than not being with Grant and being open about the relationship you’re in. ”
“I’m worried he’s going to get tired of not being able to talk about us to his friends. I’m afraid he’s going to see how easy some of his teammates have it with their significant others and how open they can be with their affection, and he’s not going to want complicated and sneaky.”
“We were only with him for a couple of hours, but that man only wants to be with you, Amelia.” Lainey pats my hand.
“He listens to you. He watches you when you speak. He lights up when you laugh. He knew what he was getting into when he kissed you the first time, and I don’t think he would’ve made that leap if he only cared about things being easy. ”
“I never thought I’d be the woman who put her happiness in a man, but he makes me so happy.
Beyond that, he supports me. He genuinely wants me to succeed, even if it comes at the hands of his own defeat, and that’s confusing on its own.
I’ve spent so much of my life putting walls up to protect myself from men who might be detrimental to my career.
Then along comes someone so different from everyone else, I’ve had to actively tell myself that there are good guys out there, and Grant is one of them.
” I rub a hand over my chest. I swear there’s a tattoo on my heart, a tiny marking with the letter g imprinted on my soul.
“That’s so scary too. What if I mess up?
What if I run and leave the best thing to ever happen to me? ”
“I hate to tell you this sweetie, but you’re going to mess up,” Lainey says.
“And so is he. You’re human, and humans make mistakes.
The two of you are going to miscommunicate and argue and struggle with different schedules and professional goals.
But if you take everything away—all the attention on you, all the hurdles you’ve jumped to get to where you are today, all the shit you’ve had to wade through to become this version of yourself right now—who would you want waiting for you on the other side? ”
“Grant,” I say without any thought. No debate, no hesitation. I’m absolutely sure it’s him, and the idea of it being anyone else is inconceivable. “He’s my favorite person in the world.”
“That’s your answer. Be scared. Be afraid, Amelia, but also welcome that happiness you deserve.” Sienna smiles at me. “You’ve spent so much of your life having to dull the shine of your accomplishments for the people around you, but Grant wants you to fucking glow.”
He does, and I’m falling so in love with him because of it.
“I’m so sorry it took me so long to tell you what was going on. I hate that I wasn’t honest from the beginning,” I say.
“Don’t apologize,” Lainey says. “There are big stakes here. Your job is on the line. You’re taking a risk by being with him, and you wanted to protect yourself.”
“Exactly. It’s not that I don’t trust you all. I do. And it feels so good to finally have this out in the open.” A laugh slips out of me. “No more secrets.”
We spend the rest of the night catching up with each other’s lives.
It’s perfect and fun and exactly what I needed from my best friends.
After they head to their rooms to decompress on their own, I shut my bedroom door and climb in bed.
I reach for my phone, tapping Grant’s name for a FaceTime call and waiting for the line to connect.
“Hey, baby,” he says when he answers from his own bed. “What’s up?”
“Your glasses are cute,” I say. “You should wear them more.”
“That’s much nicer than being called a nerd by my teammates.” He grins. “How was the rest of your night with the girls? Did you survive your interrogation?”
“It was good.” I draw my knees to my chest and stare at him through the screen. “I told them about us. They were asking questions, and it didn’t feel right to lie after they met you. I know I’m the one who said we needed to keep our relationship under wraps, and I’m sorry if—”
“Lia. Sweetheart. Breathe.” Grant chuckles and turns on his side, his elbow propping him up. “I’m not mad at you for telling your best friends about our relationship.”
“You’re not?”
“Not at all. We want to be secretive to protect your reputation, but are we really planning on going years without anyone finding out we’re dating? That’s not possible, and it would be so damn difficult to be that careful, all the time. If you trust Lainey and Sienna to keep a secret, so do I.”
“I can’t tell you how much better I feel now that they know.” I sigh and lean against the headboard. “Are you going to tell your teammates?”
“Not yet. Not because I doubt where this is going,” Grant adds. “But because there are so many of them. Between Riley working on the coaching staff and Ethan’s large social media accounts, there’s a lot of room for things to go wrong.”
“That’s true. You all are a chatty bunch.” I bite back a laugh. “Lainey and Sienna said that you look at me even when I’m not talking. Is that true?”
“I’m always looking at you. In every room, at every game. When you’re three feet away from me and laughing with your friends. You’re fucking magnetic, baby, and I’d be stupid to look anywhere else.”
That ball of warmth that’s taken a permanent space behind my ribs heats to nearly scalding. It pulses, threatening to scorch my heart in the process.
“I’m looking at you too,” I whisper. “I’m glad they know about us. I’m glad I can share my happiness with the people I love, and I’m glad they like you.”
“Do they? Hell yeah. I’m storing those best friend points away for when I need them.” Grant pumps his fist, and I giggle. “It’s because I picked up the check, isn’t it? We can thank the Stars for my nice payday.”
“Pretty sure it was more reasons than picking up the bill, but that was incredibly thoughtful.”
“And I’d do it again. What do you all have planned for the rest of the weekend?” he asks.
“Lunch together before the game, and then on Sunday we’re grabbing brunch.”
“Y’all are booked and busy. Glad you get to spend some quality time with them.”
“Me too.” I smile then fight off a yawn. “I should get some sleep. My alarm is going to go off early for my game day walk.”
“I know you love your routines. Sleep well, Lia. If I see you in my dreams, I’ll say hi.”
“I’ll say hi back in mine.” I wave, laughing when he blows me a kiss. “Night, Grant.”
“Night, baby.”
We hang up, and I set my phone aside.
I might not be on the call with Grant anymore, but I know I’m going to fall asleep with a smile on my face.
With Lainey and Sienna knowing about us, we’ve opened a new door. Less hiding, more support.
They reacted to the news so positively, and I’m hoping one day when everyone else finds out, they will too.