92. Amelia
NINETY-TWO
AMELIA
MARCH, THIS SEASON
I want to scream at the person knocking on my door.
They won’t stop banging, and I’m irritated I have to go and answer it.
I’ve spent the last two weeks hidden away from the world. I haven’t spoken to anyone. I haven’t gone outside. I’ve had all my meals delivered, and I’ve avoided all social media and internet sites that might be talking about my suspension.
I didn’t lose my job, but I did lose Grant.
And that’s not any better.
I expected the ache in my chest to get better as the days have gone on, but it’s only gotten worse. Nothing helps, and I’m beginning to think the pain is a permanent fixture in my life now.
Here’s Amelia Green, the brokenhearted woman who lost the love of her life. But, hey! At least she has hockey!
How fucking tragic.
“Whatever you’re trying to sell, I’m not interested,” I say, throwing open the door and nearly crumbling in shock at the group of people smiling back at me. “Holy—what the hell are you all doing here?”
Lainey, Sienna, Emmy, Piper, Lexi, and another brunette are standing on my apartment’s welcome mat, and I’m dangerously close to crying.
“You haven’t answered our calls or texts, so we had to take matters into our own hands,” Lainey says.
She kisses my cheek and leads the way inside, each woman giving me a hug and a pat on the shoulder as they pass. The last one of the group introduces herself as Madeline, Hudson’s girlfriend, and I remember hearing her name.
“Grant told me he was learning sign language with Hudson,” I say to her. “For your daughter?”
“Yeah.” Madeline beams. “Aren’t there some amazing men out there? I’m so sorry this is the first time we’re meeting, but I wanted to be here to offer support however I could.”
“Thank you,” I whisper. “It’s so nice to meet you.”
I watch in awe as the women wander through my apartment in synchronized movements.
Emmy and Madeline unload bags of groceries in the kitchen.
Sienna and Lainey head for my bedroom, returning a few minutes later with their full of my sheets, pillowcases, and dirty laundry.
Lexi and Piper pick up the trash that’s taken over my living room and dining room, tossing empty takeout boxes into garbage bags until the place looks spotless.
“I don’t understand,” I croak. “Why are you all here?”
“You’re going through a very shitty situation, and you don’t have to handle it alone.” Sienna leads me to the couch where she sits me on the floor and starts to brush my hair. I haven’t washed it in a week, and I wince when she combs through a knot. “Let us help to take care of you, Amelia.”
I’m not one to ask for help, but I need it today.
So I let them take over my space and work their magic as they roam around and start to make me feel whole again.
An hour later, my apartment smells like laundry detergent and an autumnal scented candle even though we’re halfway through spring.
The windows are open, and light floods out the mist of doom that’s surrounded me since I got back from Italy.
The trash is taken out. There’s a bowl of chili in my hands, and I wrap a blanket around my shoulders when we all gather at my dining room table.
“Thank you so much,” I say, taking a bite of the food. It’s rich and savory, and my body almost weeps. “I haven’t had anything homemade in days.”
“I’m a chef,” Madeline explains. “Food is my love language, and I know how much a good meal can help with your mental health.”
“Tremendously. I can’t believe you all are here. And that you flew across the country to see me.” I look at Lainey and Sienna and reach for their hands. “Thank you so much.”
“That’s what friends do when they need each other. You needed us, and we’re here. We can stay as long as you need,” Lainey says. “There’s no chance of the team making the postseason, so I’m not worried about work.”
“Are you doing okay?” Lexi asks. “I mean, we know you’re not okay. But are you doing better? Worse? Being out of work doesn’t help the situation, because all you’re probably doing is thinking about Grant, and that’s not fair.”
“I alternate between waking up and having the slightest bit of optimism, to going to bed and wanting to burn the world down. The only bit of good that I’ve found is that I haven’t looked online at any of the articles that were written about my suspension.
I can pretend I’m taking an extended vacation, and when I get back to work, it’s a clean slate.
” I pause and stir the chili around. “Except I won’t have Grant. ”
“We come with news,” Piper says. “If you want to hear it.”
“God.” I squeeze my eyes shut. “Please don’t tell me it involves his personal life. I know I’m the one who initiated the breakup, but I’m not going to be able to handle it if you tell me he’s thriving without me.”
“Oh, he’s still miserable.” Emmy laughs. “Moping and sulking and pouting during team dinner and book club. I can assure you that man is going through it. But this news involves you.”
“What do you mean?”
I set my bowl down, preparing for the worst: There’s a rumor the league is going to fire me. Every player hates me. The fans are calling for my immediate removal from the team.
“He and the boys have been working behind the scenes to propose an addendum to the CBA. They’ve been studying law books and consulting with lawyers,” Piper explains.
“They want to include an addition to the players’ contract that prohibits them—prohibits anyone—from being punished if they’re in a relationship with someone in the league. ”
“What?” I whisper. “He’s doing that?”
“Yup. There’s a lot more to it—Riley tried to read me the whole thing and I swear to god my eyes glazed over—but I think Grant is pushing it as a new bylaw.
He said if the league doesn’t respond favorably to it, he’ll start boycotting games next season.
The media lost their minds after those comments.
” Lexi grins. “He’s a determined one, isn’t it? ”
“He also had some very choice words for the commissioner when they met to discuss how long he was going to suspended. Grant told him to fuck off and then hung up on him. I’m kind of jealous he got to say what all of us were thinking, and apparently the commissioner called out of work the next day because he was so embarrassed. ”
My heart somersaults in my chest.
For the first time in what feels like years, I have an ounce of hope.
He’s creating a bylaw for me.
He’s trying to find a way for us to be together, and the acknowledgement that he’s not giving up on us makes my hands shake. I have to grip the table because the room starts to spin.
“Trying to come up with a bylaw must be taking hours.” I wet my lips.
The words crack in the center. So does my heart.
“All while trying to make a playoff push? And telling off the commissioner we all hate? He’s…
gosh.” I tip my head back and stare at the ceiling.
I’m hoping the bright lights help me not to cry. “I love him so much.”
“He loves you too, Amelia. I’m sure this separation must be so hard for you—especially because you didn’t end the relationship voluntarily—but he’s still fighting for you.” Emmy puts her hand on my arm. “I have a feeling he’s going to keep fighting for you until he gets what he wants.”
“I didn’t know something like this was possible,” I admit. “There are votes that usually have to happen. Hoops people have to jump through.”
“There’s been a lot of backlash during your absence from the Sea Crabs,” Piper tells me. “The difference in punishment based on your genders has made many people upset. Same crime, but not the same length of suspension? There’s outrage, and rightfully so.”
“From what I’m hearing in the locker room, several players throughout the league also took your suspension really hard.
I think there are a lot of relationships the league doesn’t know about, and guys are worried the league has too much control over our personal lives in a space where no laws were broken,” Emmy says. “And I agree with them.”
“It makes no sense to me,” Sienna adds. “How did they think they were in the right?”
“The way the men on the conduct review board talked to me…” I trail off.
“They wanted to fix the problem as quickly as possible and with as little damage as possible. I hate that I didn’t stand up for myself, and now that I’ve had time to reflect, I’ve considered hiring legal counsel to assess if they’re even allowed to suspend me for a situation like this. ”
“I love playing in this league, but if this is the way they’re going to handle situations that have no impact on anyone else, I might have to think about what my future in the NHL looks like.” Emmy sighs. “It’s really frustrating.”
“How many games are left in your suspension?” Lainey asks.
“Two,” I say. “I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and as soon as I’m back behind the bench, I’m going to keep my head down. I’m going to lead my team to the Stanley Cup again, and if anyone has a goddamn problem with it, I’m not going to care.”
“We’re here to support you however we can, Amelia,” Madeline says. “Women have to stick together. We’re on your side, and we’re going to do whatever we can to help get you back on your feet.”
“Thank you. Thank you all so much,” I mumble, gratitude and appreciation for these women sweeping over me.
“You all are amazing, and I’m so lucky to have so many kind people in my life.
The days are hard, but I’m going to get through it.
I have to, because I’ve always gotten through it.
I won’t let this new obstacle they’re throwing at me stop me from chasing my dreams.”
We spend the rest of the evening together with food, dessert, and stories. I didn’t realize how much I needed the six of them together in one place until they made it happen, and now that they’re here, I know the only way I come out on top is with them by my side.
Their company has me ready to fight, and knowing that Grant is fighting for me too has me convinced I’m the luckiest woman in the world.