Chapter 9 #2
And somehow, despite all of that, despite every survival instinct in my body screaming this was reckless and stupid and dangerous, I still wanted Cade there anyway.
Which honestly felt like the worst decision I had ever made in my life.
I was an idiot though, especially when it came to Luke, because I protected a monster. The biggest secret I had ever kept from my family. The ugliest thing that had ever happened to me. Lately, the way Cade watched me made me feel dangerously close to being known, and it terrified me.
But I couldn’t quit playing with fire.
“I feel like you’re hiding something,” he said quietly.
The words landed softly, but my stomach still tightened instantly because of course Cade, who noticed everything, noticed I was full of shit we just spent the first part of our workout fighting about it.
But I would pretend he wasn’t breaking the promise he just made where we agreed to not talk about me being a liar—and play the only hand I have and that’s flippantly bypassing the intention of his statement.
“Of course I am,” I teased with a flirty laugh and batted my lashes. “I can’t give all my secrets away.”
Cade rolled his eyes slightly before loading a barbell, muscles flexing hard through his arms as he settled back onto the bench.
My eyes dropped automatically to the sweat glistening across his chest and stomach before I could stop myself, heat climbing straight into my face so fast it physically hurt.
I licked my lips like the smutty little idiot I was.
Get it together, Bliss.
I turned back toward the treadmill immediately and bumped the speed up again because I need a reason to be breathless here and to give myself something else to focus on besides the shirtless hockey captain currently ruining my panties as he worked his body over.
“My brothers can be protective,” I admitted finally, trying very hard to sound casual instead of turned inside out from watching him.
Luckily, the higher speed of the treadmill would explain my breathy words.
“Which means sometimes I keep things to myself because there’s no point upsetting them over dumb stuff. ”
Cade stayed quiet while he bench-pressed double my weight.
Not waiting for his turn to talk. Not half-paying attention while staring at his phone like most guys did.
Just focused completely on me in that unnerving way that always made me feel like he was quietly collecting pieces of me faster than I could hide them.
“Like if some boy hurt my feelings in high school or whatever,” I continued with a shrug.
“Why would I tell six men who already borderline threaten every guy that looks at me wrong?” I laughed softly under my breath.
“Sometimes keeping secrets isn’t about protecting yourself. It’s about protecting everybody else.”
Silence stretched between us for a second beneath the hum of the treadmill and low bass vibrating through the gym speakers overhead and I wonder if I gave too much away by trying to give him anything so he stops looking at me all concerned and protective.
Then Cade spoke again. “Was it one guy or multiple?”
I looked over immediately, slightly startled, but I should have known better by now. Cade always cut straight through the bullshit.
His attention stayed locked on me while he slowly lowered the weight to his chest, then pushed it back up, blue eyes sharper now.
“It was one,” I admitted carefully.
Cade set the barbell on the rack over his head before sitting up and bracing his elbows against his knees.
“Is he still around?”
I looked away first. “Doesn’t matter.”
“You’re avoiding the question.”
I sighed quietly. “He comes around sometimes,” I admitted reluctantly. “Small-town stuff.” I twisted the cap tighter onto my water bottle just to keep my hands busy. “He was a hockey player.”
A bitter laugh slipped out before I could stop it. “Very stereotypical athlete mentality. Everything handed to him because people worshipped him.”
The temperature in the room somehow felt colder after that as Cade’s jaw tightened hard enough for me to notice.
“I’m guessing he hurt you?”
Frustration hit so fast it caught me off guard. “Yeah, Cade,” I snapped quietly, emotion finally cracking through my voice. “He hurt me.”
The room went completely still after that, and Cade rose slowly from the bench before taking one small step closer. Not aggressive or intimidating. Intentional.
It made it worse because Luke used closeness like a weapon.
Cade used it like concern.
“I notice the way you move, Bliss,” he said quietly, using my name in a way that felt like a hand closing carefully around the truth. “That’s why you watch exits and hate sudden noises.”
My chest tightened so fast it physically hurt. I looked away immediately toward the mirrored wall because suddenly looking directly at him felt impossible.
“He did more than betray me,” I admitted softly before I could stop myself.
The second the words left my mouth, panic followed immediately.
“Pip—”
“That’s enough.” I shook my head quickly, heartbeat suddenly climbing too fast. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Immediately, Cade stopped.
“I’m sorry,” he said after a second, his voice quieter now. “I shouldn’t have pushed after telling you I would let it go.”
The sincerity in his voice almost wrecked me more than the conversation itself. I laughed weakly instead because I genuinely didn’t know what else to do with this man sometimes.
“That’s ironic considering I interrogate you daily.”
“Yeah,” he said softly, eyes still locked on mine. “But I’ve never had my heart broken.”
The softness in his voice nearly split me open because suddenly I wasn’t looking at Captain Mercer anymore.
Not the cocky hockey god everybody worshipped around campus.
Not the future NHL golden boy everybody expected to become untouchable someday.
Just Cade. Someone raised in expensive empty rooms who openly admitted he didn’t think he understood unconditional love.
And goodness, my chest ached for him. Not with pity. Never that. With understanding.
I smiled softly despite myself. “I’m happy for you then.”
For a second, neither of us moved. The tension between us felt alive now, thick enough to make the gym suddenly feel smaller around us while the low hum of music vibrated softly through the speakers overhead.
Cade’s eyes held mine for one long, unbearable second before he stepped closer slowly, carefully, like he was trying not to spook me.
My pulse jumped instantly.
He was so close now I could smell sweat and laundry detergent and something warm underneath it that was just him. My entire body reacted before my brain could catch up as he reached for my wrist with slow, deliberate movements that gave me every opportunity to pull away if I wanted to.
I didn’t.
His fingers wrapped gently around my arm before his thumb brushed softly across the fading bruise near the inside of my wrist, and the contrast nearly wrecked me on the spot.
Luke grabbed hard.
Cade touched me like he was afraid of hurting me more.
The realization hit somewhere dangerously deep in my chest while silence stretched tightly between us.
I could see the pulse beating steadily beneath the skin near his wrist from how close he stood to me now.
Close enough to notice the tiny scar near the base of his thumb.
Close enough that if I leaned forward even slightly, my mouth would brush the center of his chest.
Oh my goodness.
My lips parted slightly before I could stop them, and Cade noticed immediately. His eyes dropped toward my mouth so fast heat spiraled low through my stomach hard enough to nearly knock the air out of me.
And it wasn’t even the attraction destroying me anymore.
It was the restraint.
The way his breathing had gone heavier without him touching me anywhere except my wrist. The way tension pulled visibly through his jaw like he was fighting himself in real time. Like he wanted to close the distance between us and was forcing himself not to.
One more inch was all it would take… One more inch, and I knew he’d kiss me and the terrifying part was I knew I wouldn’t stop him.
Cade’s thumb brushed once more across my skin before his voice finally broke the silence, rougher this time.
“I know who put hands on you and fear in you, Pip.”
I tense up and he shushes me. “I won’t say it, not yet—but I will tell you he doesn’t have the right to touch you.”
The quiet fury in his tone sent another wave of heat crashing through me because somehow protectiveness felt infinitely more dangerous than flirting ever had.
Neither of us moved, but neither of us looked away.
The tension stretched tighter and tighter between us until breathing through it started feeling impossible.
Cade finally stepped back abruptly like he had reached the edge of his own self-control.
He dragged a hand through his hair once before turning toward the weight bench again, shoulders tense beneath golden skin while he exhaled sharply under his breath.
Judging by the way he physically needed distance from me right now, Cade was not nearly as unaffected as he wanted me to believe.
He grabbed his towel off the bench and dragged it roughly over the back of his neck, shoulders flexing with the movement while his chest rose and fell beneath the harsh gym lighting.
He looked irritated now, but not with me.
With himself. With the silence. With the fact that for one long second, whatever careful thing existed between us had stopped pretending it was harmless.
I should have let it go. I should have grabbed my water, made a joke, climbed back onto the treadmill, and forced us into safe territory where everything had labels. Project. Friendship. Workout. Nothing dangerous. Nothing real enough to split open.
Instead, because apparently I had never met a bad decision I couldn’t accessorize with emotional damage, I said, “You’re running away.”