Chapter 23 Nora #3
A few heads turn my way, sensing my tone, their eyes ping-ponging between the two of us, watching to see how my father will react.
He doesn’t notice, or at least he is fantastic at pretending he doesn’t. Instead, he pats me on the back, smiles that fake smile and walks away.
‘What a fucking prick,’ Zayden says, and a few people glance at us in shock at his words, one woman looking downright mortified.
‘Can you believe the audacity of him?’ I counter, still in disbelief.
At least Zayden is here witnessing all of this, because I used to question whether this was all in my head and if they weren’t really that bad. Having him see it and stick by my side validates me in more ways than I ever knew I needed.
A sound of heels clicking against the cement draws me from my thoughts. Michelle’s fake smile is already fixed in place, and Kyle beside her, hands stuffed in his pockets like he’s too cool to be here.
I stiffen and Zayden steps closer to me, protectively.
‘There she is,’ Michelle purrs as they approach.
Her voice is syrupy sweet, and her smile reveals veneered teeth that look out of place on her face.
On the outside, it must look like we are all one big happy family.
‘The mystery writer herself. Imagine our surprise when that landed in our inbox. Someone sure wanted us to know how well she was going.’
Her eyes narrow as she assesses me, emphasising her words, making it clear she thinks I’ve outed myself for the recognition. Of course she would think that – that’s just how she is.
Kyle offers me a lopsided smirk, rocking back on his heels and making his bouncy hair flop up and down – looking like a total douchebag as always.
‘Didn’t think you had it in you. All those years locked in your room with your weird notebooks.
Guess you were doing more than writing love notes after all. ’
I stare back at them, appalled that even they don’t have a nice thing to say.
At least my dad pretends in front of other people.
Passive-aggressive comments are more his style, whereas Michelle likes to be more direct with her insults.
In a way, I have more respect for her for that.
She’s not a fake and can’t seem to hide her distaste for me.
I still don’t know what I have ever done – other than dare to be different – to make them hate me so much.
Forcing a smile that doesn’t quite reach my eyes, I can’t help letting a little bit of the true me slip through. I am done holding back and pretending to be someone I’m not. ‘I’m sure it was a real tragedy for you both, not knowing what I was capable of.’
Kyle chuckles at my words, and Michelle looks surprised at my indifference. Zayden takes my hand, grounding me, and I feel so much more confident having him here. Like I can do or say anything and know he will be right there and have my back.
Michelle’s eyes slice to him, scanning him up and down as if she has the ability to calculate his worth just by assessing his appearance.
‘Nice to see you again, Zach,’ she says, knowing all too well what his real name is but doing her best to make him feel as unimportant as the dirt beneath her feet.
‘Bet you had quite the surprise, finding out you’re dating a little celebrity.
’ She pauses, head tilting, clearly assuming Zayden didn’t know the extent of my fame.
‘I mean, there’s not much that’s little about Nora, but you know what I mean. ’
Fire burns my cheeks, and I feel like with each inhale, I’m not quite getting enough oxygen. She wasn’t getting enough of a reaction, so she went for the jugular. I’m not surprised at all; I know now to expect the worst of them.
Zayden smiles, slow and easy, looking almost excited to have the chance to add something to the conversation. ‘Not surprised at all, since I already knew how successful she is. I see how hard she works. I’m very proud.’
That shuts her up for a moment. Her lips purse as she eyes him with distaste.
‘Anyway,’ she says, recovering quickly, clearing her throat.
‘Your father’s just a little … emotional.
You know how he is. Maybe try not to be so public next time when you have something you want to say.
We get it, you’ve achieved something for once in your life.
You didn’t need to make it so publicised for the world to see. ’
I meet her gaze. ‘Maybe he could try not being so disappointed in things he doesn’t understand.’
Kyle snorts. ‘You think a few silly romance books make you better than the rest of us?’
‘No,’ I say calmly. ‘But they’ve made me free of you, your judgement and your pathetic existence.’
They’re both silent for a moment, never having seen this side of me, but of course, they always have something to say back. They must always have the last word – that’s a trait they all share.
Michelle laughs, sounding loud and forced. ‘Well, don’t let it go to your head. Your five seconds of fame will be over before you know it.’
A retort is hot on my lips but they’ve already turned their backs on us, retreating into the groups of people gathered around the front of the hall. I release a heavy exhale, feeling drained after being around them, like usual.
‘You okay?’ Zayden asks.
‘I’m fine. I finally feel like I can stand up to them, but overall, I think this is it.’
‘This is it?’ he repeats, his thumb playing across my knuckles. ‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean, I’m over doing all of this. With them,’ I gesture around at the event. Sweeping my hand around the venue and the people I don’t recognise. ‘Attending these kinds of things, pretending they don’t make me miserable. I’m done.’
He squeezes my hand, nodding at me. ‘Good for you, Vixen.’
I’m still trembling an hour later once the ceremony is complete and we are waiting for the bridal party to return after the photos.
We step out into the courtyard and find our table.
My mind keeps going over everything that was exchanged earlier, and I’m wondering if we should just leave, but then Zayden pointed out free food and drinks, so we decided to stay. I mean, why the hell not?
Dinner and speeches are a little slow and painful. I’ve come to the conclusion that my family are far faker than I ever realised and I’m truly embarrassed to be witnessing the way they act.
The chatter and clinking of cutlery dies down as my father stands. His gaze sweeps through the room, landing on me, and the way he looks at me has my stomach sinking.
Turning, he smiles at Lindsay. The bride. Radiant and regal, as always. The one they’re all so proud of. The girl who my father thinks is better than me in every single way.
‘I just want to say a few words,’ he begins, oozing charisma and warmth, even though I don’t believe he possesses much warmth at all.
‘I’ve known Lindsay since she was ten. Even then, she had this grace about her.
This loud, bold, confident air around her.
The kind of presence that doesn’t demand attention, it earns it, and makes sure everyone else is aware of it too.
I knew she was going to be successful. She just had that way about her. ’
My stomach knots. We should have left when we had the chance. I humiliated him earlier, and he will not let that slide. Zayden turns to me, as if he can sense what is about to unfold. The heat of his hand on my thigh helps me keep my spine straight and chin up as I stare ahead.
‘I didn’t raise her from the start, but it feels like I did,’ he says. ‘In every way that matters, she’s my daughter. She’s been a joy, a light, a gift …’ He glances at me, noticeably, and a few people follow his gaze. ‘The kind of daughter I always hoped I’d have.’
The words hit hard, like he reached over the table and slapped me across the face.
My hands shake as I reach for the champagne in front of me, but it tastes like lead as I force myself to swallow it, ignoring the curious bystanders witnessing this unfold, considering he was only boasting about me earlier to anyone who would listen.
He keeps going, some story about the first time Lindsay called him Dad and how it meant the world to him. Everyone’s smiling. Even Lindsay’s crying. Happy tears, of course, still somehow looking like a runway model, and of course, no mascara stains.
I look down at my napkin, folding it until the edges line up perfectly. I don’t cry. Not here. Not for this. Not for him. I deserve better, and I’m never going to get what I want from him. I’ve finally accepted it.
Later, people will tell me how beautiful his speech was. How touching. How lucky Lindsay is to have a stepfather like him. Someone who has always been there for her, so caring and supportive. So proud of her.
Little will they know he just lost his own real daughter. There is no coming back from this.
‘We can leave,’ Zayden murmurs. ‘Just say the word.’
‘I’m not giving him the satisfaction,’ I say back.
‘That’s my girl.’ He beams, gripping my thigh once more before reaching for his glass. ‘Cheers to us, and fuck all them.’
‘Fuck them,’ I smile, not caring that a few people overhear us.
I’m relieved once all of it is over and everyone is out on the dance floor or huddled into groups, talking and laughing.
A slow song starts, and Zayden doesn’t wait for me to say yes. He just pulls me gently by the hand towards the edge of the dance floor. I laugh because he’s doing a goofy and dramatic bow.
‘Oh famous author,’ he says loudly. ‘Please do the honour of allowing me this dance.’
I shake my head at him, stepping up close to him, tilting my head back so that I can meet his eyes. Zayden’s hands find my waist and I lean into his chest, letting myself breathe for what feels like the first time tonight.
For a moment, I forget the words of my family and everything they made me feel. There’s just us, the music and the knowledge that this is the final time I will let them push me around and put myself into this kind of situation with them.
All I want to remember is how beautiful I feel, how handsome Zayden looks and the knowledge that we have each other. The music shifts into something faster and more upbeat.
‘Let’s embarrass them,’ I grin.
‘Don’t need to ask me twice.’
Zayden backs up and then runs towards me, sliding on his knees.
He leaps to his feet, spinning me, and then dipping me so low, I fear he’s going to drop me.
I release a loud, giddy laugh, feeling like everything else just doesn’t matter like it used to.
I just don’t care about their opinions anymore nor what they think, because I’ll never be enough, no matter what.
But I am enough, and they will never get to tell me otherwise.
We push into the middle of the people standing around, ignoring the way they look at us. I loop my arms around Zayden’s neck and he pulls my body flush to his. My eyes lock onto his, and we move to the rhythm of the soundtrack playing, everything around us fading away.
Nothing else matters right now.