Chapter 11
11
AIDAN
Lyla’s whispered confession blares like a foghorn through my mind even hours later, and it has giddiness and anger fighting for dominance in my chest.
She and Wren are currently set up at a table in our backyard, painting the remaining kids’ faces into different animals. Their squeals of joy bring a smile to my face where I’m sitting with a beer by the pool.
I’ve been nursing the same drink since just after we emerged from the bathroom two hours ago, but my mind has been racing too much to even enjoy it. Throwing a surprise party was clearly the wrong move on my part, and I feel like a class-A jackass for not thinking to check with her first.
For fuck’s sake, Rhodes flat-out told me she had likely been through something traumatic, and here I am tossing her into a room full of strangers with no warning.
The only saving grace here is that after a half hour of reassuring words and co-regulation, Lyla seemed to come out of the panic attack relatively okay. The second she was steady on her feet, her focus turned to Crew and making sure he had a great party, so I left her to clean up and finally greeted our guests.
Luckily, said guests consist only of guys on the team and their families, so they were all really cool about the whole thing and politely didn’t ask questions.
Wren, however, almost cried out of guilt. I tried to reassure her, but it’s pretty hard when I feel just as guilty, if not more so. If my mom weren’t in Seattle visiting my younger brother, she’d be reading me the riot act.
“Hey man.” Rhodes slides into the deck chair next to me, sipping a juice box. I scoff, raising a questioning brow, to which he just shrugs. “What? I’m driving, and I’ve got precious cargo. Sue me for drinking fruit punch.”
I just shake my head with a chuckle. He’s always been a cheesy bastard, but his entire demeanor has changed since Wren made her way back into his life last year.
Some selfish part of me hoped they would want to have kids right away so I’d have friends in the parenting boat with me, but no dice. They’re happy being dog parents, and though I was a little bummed at first, I truly couldn’t be happier for them.
“So,” Rhodes starts quietly. “How are things going with Lyla anyway? You two seem a lot closer since the last time I saw you together.”
One other thing about my best friend? He’s as gossipy as an old woman after Sunday service.
“Lyla is incredible with Crew,” I say wistfully. “I know I wasn’t doing a bad job raising him before, but he’s an entirely different kid since she moved in. He’s doing regular schoolwork and is on a set schedule, which means he’s sleeping better and hasn’t been as emotional when I have to leave.”
He looks over to where Lyla is helping Crew eat a cupcake the size of his head and laughs. “He seems really taken with her.” From the corner of my eye, I see him studying my profile, but my gaze is so riveted on my son and his nanny that I can’t be bothered to return his stare. “But it seems like he’s not the only one.”
I fight a blush and sigh, scrubbing a palm over the back of my neck. “I asked her to come with me to New York this weekend… without Crew.”
Rhodes nods in understanding, but he doesn’t look surprised, so I’m pretty sure Wren already told him. It’s nice to talk to someone about this without worrying about how they’ll perceive it. “And is this a date? Is it just a fling? I mean, you’ve only known her a month, and just a couple weeks ago, you were worried because you didn’t know anything about her.”
Shrugging, I take another pull from my lukewarm beer and grimace, setting it to the side.
“I guess I still don’t know all that much about her. But it’s the little things that have sucked me in, like the way she wakes up early and sits with me while we drink our morning coffee and how it’s easier to talk to her than it has been with anybody else, maybe ever. Or the way she takes care of me, even when she doesn’t have to, either by making me special macro-friendly meals so I don’t have to eat reheated food every day or by asking me how I’m doing and caring about the answer.”
My gaze strays to where she’s chatting with a pretty redhead I think might be here from a local bakery. Crew stands at her side, still eating his massive cupcake, and my smile grows when Lyla pauses their conversation to wipe some frosting off his face with her thumb.
“When she’s working with Crew on his schoolwork, she scrunches up her nose in this adorable way that makes me want to squish her cheeks and kiss her all at once, and she has a crazy obsession with cherries that I think is absolutely precious. And her laugh? Good god, Rhodes. That woman laughs, and every molecule in my body stops to soak in the sound.”
I sigh heavily. “The truth is, she hasn’t done anything groundbreaking to draw me to her. It’s every little detail I’ve learned and all the things I haven’t that keep me helplessly in her orbit. The fact that it’s all wrapped up in such a gorgeous package definitely doesn’t hurt either.”
With each hurried word that falls out of my mouth, Rhodes’s smile grows bigger, eventually getting so wide it’s almost unsettling. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone’s molars when they smiled before. He keeps on smiling and not saying anything for long enough that I start to squirm uncomfortably, and defensiveness has me straightening in my seat.
“What?” I grouse.
He barks out a laugh, and it seems like that breaks the dam. Soon enough, he’s forcing out words between bouts of laughter. “Fuck, Aidan. I owe Wren a hundred bucks.”
That wasn’t anywhere on the list of things I expected him to say. Raising a brow, I glance between him and Wren, who’s currently telling what looks to be a wild story to Lyla and the redhead.
“Wanna explain? Or should I just go jump off the dock? Because that seems like it would be about as helpful as you are right now.”
My best friend finally gets control of himself as his laughter subsides, and he shakes his head at me. “Wren also bet me you’d fall for her by the end of her first month as Crew’s nanny. I thought you’d hold out at least three.”
My jaw drops, but I shouldn’t be surprised. In our friend group, someone always has some inane bet going. Though I’ll admit it’s usually Wren and me betting about the stupid things we can get Rhodes to do.
“Y’all made a bet about Lyla, even knowing she was coming off of something traumatic?”
That thought fills me with indignation because nobody should be making bets about my girl.
Woah. My girl?
“The bet wasn’t about Lyla, you ass. Honestly, I wasn’t sure about this whole arrangement in the first place. You didn’t see her back when she first moved here, but she was as fragile as fine china. Every sound made her jump, and she didn’t go more than ten minutes without checking her surroundings or looking over her shoulder like she was expecting somebody to jump out at her.”
He takes a breath and scratches his elbow, casting a sideways look at the woman in question, who’s laughing at Crew as he drags her over to the face-painting station.
“I didn’t know her as well as Wren because men still made her extremely uncomfortable back then, but the difference between Lyla a year ago and Lyla now? It’s jarring. If working for you is what’s putting that look on her face? I think you should keep up whatever y’all are doing.”
His words simultaneously break my heart and light it up because I can picture Lyla then, alone and so scared of her own shadow she’d feel the need to constantly be on alert, but she’s not now.
She’s changed so much, even from just a month ago, and I know I’ll do everything in my power to keep breaking down her walls and building up her confidence in men. In me .
I don’t get a chance to say anything else because Lyla makes her way over to us with a huge smile on her flushed face. She looks so pretty today that it’s honestly distracting. Jean shorts that would be criminal on someone of average height hit the tops of her thighs in an entirely too enticing way, and she’s wearing her very own dinosaur shirt that Crew insisted we buy for her birthday.
Of course, she didn’t wait even a minute before putting it on, and he’s been on cloud nine all day because of it. Her reddish-brown hair hangs down to her waist in big, shiny curls, and I can’t help but notice that every week, her hair takes on more of a red tint.
“Hey there, cowboy. Having fun over here?”
I look to my right and am surprised to see Rhodes is nowhere to be found, but when I glance behind Lyla, I catch his wink aimed my way from where he’s standing with Wren and Crew. Ignoring him, I turn back to the gorgeous girl in front of me.
“Hi, angel, having fun?”
She blushes right on cue and takes the newly vacated seat next to me. “I’ve never had a birthday party like this before. I didn’t realize what I was missing. And those cupcakes are divine . I know you’re on a strict diet, but you need to have at least a bite of one.”
Her voice is full of childlike excitement, and my heart expands in my chest. She could ask me for just about anything, and I know I’d give it to her. Her words niggle at me, though.
“You’ve never had a birthday party like this before? So what were your parties like then?”
Lyla’s eyes widen like she didn’t mean to say that, but she surprises me when she elaborates. “My birthday parties were always treated more like… let’s say networking events , for my father. They were all crudités and champagne and petit fours in place of an actual cake. It’s fine for a charity event or a formal dinner party but for a kid’s party?”
She shakes her head with a sigh. "I honestly can’t remember a single birthday I ever enjoyed until this one.”
With a covert glance around, I don’t see anyone paying attention to us, so I take a risk and thread my fingers with hers. “As long as I’m around, the rest of your birthdays will be even better than this one, Ly.”
Her unique eyes sparkle in the afternoon sunlight, pulling me further under her spell. I watch her chest rise and fall as she takes a deep breath, and then she knocks my carefully balanced control off its axis.
“Does your offer for this weekend still stand?”
My lips part in surprise even as my heart soars. “You want to spend the weekend with me?”
She bites her bottom lip and nods shyly. “I like you, Aidan. I’ve been trying not to because I really love this job, but everything you do makes me like you a little bit more. But if it doesn’t work, you’re sure I can stay on as Crew’s nanny, and it won’t be weird?”
I start to respond, but she cuts me off. “This is a non-negotiable for me. I don’t want to be another person that leaves him,” she finishes on a whisper.
My mind and heart fill with affection as I squeeze her tiny hand in mine. “I promise, Lyla. I have no expectations here. If you don’t want to pursue a relationship at the end of the weekend, we go back to being boss and employee like nothing happened. Think of it as a trial run where you have all the power. ”
Her breath hitches, and I watch the panic flare in her eyes. “Why would I need all the power?”
I roll my eyes a bit but catch myself and instead momentarily let my own demons out from their reinforced cage. “I know what it looks like to be afraid of someone who isn’t around anymore. Constantly looking over your shoulder, holding your breath when you round a corner, learning to live with the physical and emotional damage they left behind.”
My callused hand cups her cheek with as much affection as I can possibly pour into the small gesture. “I’m here when you’re ready to tell me, but I won’t push. All I ask is that you come to me if you need help.”
My pulse races as emotions fly across her face too fast for me to decipher, and suddenly, I’m worried she’s about to back out of her agreement.
The thought of letting someone else in after what Crew and I have already been through, first me with my father and then both of us with Mia, is terrifying enough. But we’re adding in a whole new layer of unknowns with whatever trauma Lyla is hiding, too. She offers a hesitant nod, and that will have to be enough for now.
The tender smile she gives me melts some of the indecision surrounding my heart, and for the first time in seven years, I find myself wanting to confide in someone about my father. Just as I open my mouth to reassure her with something , a battle cry interrupts us from the back door.
“Raptor attack!”
The screeched words are the only warning we get before my boy barrels between us, diving onto Lyla’s chair with her and causing it to tip abruptly into mine, nearly knocking us both over. Lyla is fine and laughing with arms full of a sticky six-year-old, so I take a second to daydream about what this scene would look like if she were here as more than just the nanny.
And the thing is, I think she might want that too.