Chapter 30
Chapter thirty
Clear Water
This was my first official date with Nique.
I had thought about that on the walk over to her villa.
We had known each other most of our lives and the closest thing we ever had to a date was the arcade in tenth grade, and even that was less romantic and more the two of us talking trash over Street Fighter until somebody’s mama called.
Any other time we were out together the whole crew was around and whatever was between us got lost in the noise of everybody else.
This was just us. Finally.
I was putting the finishing touches on getting dressed, had just reached for my cologne, when my phone buzzed on the nightstand.
I picked it up, saw Amina’s name, and stood there for a second.
I knew if I didn’t answer she would just keep calling.
I sprayed my cologne, set the bottle down, and picked up.
“Hey.”
“Can you take me to Aroma Cafe?” No greeting. Straight to it.
“Amina you need to stay off that ankle. Just order room service.”
“I don’t want to spend my entire vacation stuck in this room Dex. I didn’t come all the way to Tulum to stare at the ceiling.”
“You’re not supposed to be walking on it.”
“I wouldn’t even be in this situation if it wasn’t for you and your bitch.”
I pulled the phone away from my ear and took a breath. “You damn sure ain’t getting anything out of me if you keep calling her out her name.”
That’s when the dramatic crying started. I wasn’t an asshole. I hated to hear any woman cry. Even my worrisome baby mama.
“I hate you,” she said, her voice breaking.
“I genuinely hate you Dex. You never even gave us a real chance. I gave you a whole child. I went through that pregnancy alone because you wanted to act like Demi wasn’t yours and then when she was born and you finally showed up I was already so far gone.
The postpartum had me in a place I couldn’t even explain to anybody and you were barely there and I just.” She stopped, her breath shaky.
“All I wanted was a nice vacation. I wanted us to finally get on the same page and stop beefing for Demi’s sake and now I’m just stuck in this room by myself with a wrapped ankle and nothing. ”
I sat on the edge of the bed and let her finish. When the silence came I didn’t rush to fill it.
“You’re not a bad woman Amina,” I said finally, keeping my voice even. “I mean that. You are a good mother. You are just not the woman for me.
She sniffled. “That doesn’t make me feel better.”
“I know. But it’s the truth and you deserve the truth.”
She was quiet for a moment, still sniffling on the other end.
“Look,” I said. “Call my mom. See if she wants to go with you.”
“Your mom can’t help me get around on this ankle Dex. Plus her and your aunts and uncle are already doing a walking tour today. I saw them leaving from my window this morning.”
I rubbed the back of my neck. “Aight. Let me call Kam. He owes me a favor. He’ll take you wherever you want to go today.”
A long pause. “Kam?”
The tone she said it in told me everything.
“What’s wrong with Kam?”
“Why can’t you just take me?”
“Because I already have plans.”
“With Nique.”
“Why are you asking questions you already know the answer to?”
She let out a long breath. “I hate you.”
“You might as well learn to like me,” I said. “We share a child. That’s not changing.” I stood up and grabbed my bag off the chair. “Get dressed. Kam will take you wherever you want to go today. I’ll call him right now.”
She didn’t say anything else. Just hung up.
I stared at the phone for a second then pulled up Kam’s number. He answered on the second ring already sounding like he was somewhere having too much fun for this hour of the morning.
“Aye I need a favor,” I said.
“Damn. Good morning to you too cuz.”
“Amina’s stuck in her room with that ankle. I need you to take her to Aroma and wherever else she wants to go today.”
Dead silence.
“Hello?” I said.
“I heard you,” Kam said. “I just needed a second to process why you think that’s something I want to do with my morning.”
“Kam.”
“Fine,” he muttered. “But you owe me for this one. Like significantly.”
“I’ll add it to the list,” I said and hung up before he could change his mind.
I checked the time, grabbed my bag, and headed out toward Nique’s villa. I knocked on her door right on time.
When it swung open I forgot what I was about to say.
She was standing there in a brown sheer dress, tropical florals and animal print running through the fabric.
Underneath it I could see her bikini, the same warm brown tones, like she had planned every detail right down to the last inch.
Her curls were loose around her shoulders.
Gold hoops. A small tote on one arm and her sandals already on her feet.
She looked at me with that look she got when she knew exactly what she was doing to me. “You’re staring.”
“You did that on purpose,” I said.
She smiled, slow and unbothered. “Did what?”
“The dress.”
“I told you I needed to know where we were going so I could plan my outfit,” she said, stepping out and pulling the door shut behind her. “I figured out the vibe on my own.”
I shook my head and fell into step beside her. She had nailed it. I wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of saying that out loud but the way she was walking told me she already knew.
The driver was waiting at the main entrance. Nique looked at the car and then at me.
“Are you going to tell me now?”
“No.”
She made a sound somewhere between a laugh and a groan and climbed in.
The drive took about twenty minutes, the road narrowing as the jungle got thicker on both sides.
I watched her face the whole way. She was looking out the window at the canopy overhead, her fingers resting in her lap, the morning light catching the gold in her hoops every time we turned.
She was still carrying the weight of her mother’s truth.
I could see it in the set of her shoulders.
Still, she was here and she was trying and that was enough.
When we pulled up she went quiet.
The property sat tucked deep in the jungle, the kind of quiet that doesn’t happen near the beach or the clubs or anywhere the tourists usually end up.
A pool sat at the center of it, the water deep and clear, surrounded by tall trees on every side.
Floating in the middle of it was a round woven tray, two plates of food arranged on top alongside fresh fruit and drinks. A hammock swayed nearby in the breeze.
Nique turned and looked at me with an expression I didn’t see on her face very often. She was open and unguarded. Like she had forgotten for a second to hold anything back.
“Dex,” she said.
“Yeah.”
“How did you even find this?”
“TikTok,” I said.
She burst out laughing, a real one that reached her eyes, and something in my chest that had been tight all morning finally let go.
She stepped out of that dress and I had to remind myself we were in a public place.
I had seen Nique in swimsuits before, but something about watching her step out of that dress and seeing her bikini sitting against her skin like it was made specifically for her body made all of that irrelevant.
She was standing there in her own world, completely at ease with every curve and every inch, and I stood there like I had never seen her before in my life.
She caught me looking and raised an eyebrow. “You getting in or not?”
I nodded and got in.
The cool of the water was a relief against the Tulum heat already building around us. We settled on either side of the floating tray with the jungle surrounding us on every side and nothing but bird sounds and water between us.
Nique reached for a piece of mango and looked around slowly, taking it all in.
“This is the most peaceful I have felt since we landed,” she said quietly.
“Good,” I said. “That’s the point.”
She looked at me over her juice glass. “You always been like this you know.”
“Like what?”
“Showing up,” she said. “Even when I didn’t deserve it. Even when I was being difficult and giving you every reason to just leave me alone.” She set her glass down on the tray. “You never just left me alone.”
I leaned back against the edge of the pool and watched her for a second.
“You remember junior year?” I asked. “When you first started dating Prez?”
She looked over at me. “What about it?”
“You called me right after y’all made it official. Said that since you had a boyfriend I needed to get a girlfriend so we can double date.”
She laughed. “I did say that.”
“I told you girls weren’t checking for me like that.”
“You had a crush on that mixed girl at your school though,” she said, squinting like she was reaching back for the name. “What was her name?”
“Christy.”
“Christy,” she repeated, nodding. “I remembered.”
“Because of you I actually asked her out,” I said. “She told me I wasn’t her type. Said she liked pretty boys like Chris Brown.”
Nique’s face tightened. “She did not.”
“She did and that set with me for a while. Started thinking girls didn’t want me because I was too dark. That was the first time it really got in my head like that.”
She was quiet for a second. Then she said “That’s when I quoted Tupac at you.”
“Blacker the berry the sweeter the juice,” I said. “And then you started listing every chocolate man you had ever had a crush on like you were reading from a prepared list.”
She grinned. “I was thorough.”
“I never would have guessed you liked dark skin men though.”
She looked at me sideways. “And I never would have guessed you liked me. You were crazy over Ms. Christy.”
“Christy was just one of the few Black girls at my school,” I said. “It was never that deep. It’s always been you for me Nique.”
She looked away, reaching for another piece of fruit. “Why you never said anything then?”