Chapter 7
Chapter Seven
SUTTON
The entire street is one massive party. Classes are canceled tomorrow because every professor knows there wouldn’t be many people in class. We’re all going to be busy nursing hangovers.
The entire campus is celebrating the boys’ win.
It’s a big deal.
The party at our house is packed. People are inside, packed into the backyard and spilling into the front yard. The mess tomorrow is going to be pretty bad.
But tonight is all that matters.
“Here you go.” Declan hands me a red plastic cup filled with foamy beer that’s just a little warm.
“Thank you.”
He hasn’t left my side.
“I saw Bree earlier,” I say.
He groans. “I’m sorry. There is no way to police who comes in and out. There are just too many people.”
“It’s fine. I don’t care. She took one look at me and hightailed it out of here.”
He chuckles. “So vicious.”
“You can go visit,” I tell him. “I’m a big girl.”
“I want to be right here with you.”
“This is your party. You’re the man of the hour.”
“And you’re my woman of the hour. Of the day. Week. Month.”
“Oh, you are so getting laid tonight.”
He flashes a sexy smile. “I know.”
I love that we can be flirty and fun. We’re not thinking about what comes next. I know it’s not exactly the healthiest approach to simply pretend that the end of school is coming. But it’s working. We’re working.
He knows me. That's the thing that keeps landing. Through everything, he still knows me. We are bonded. Connected in a way I don’t think I’ll ever be with another person.
Keira practically stumbles into me. “Hi.” She breathes, and I feel like I’ve been gassed by tequila breath.
“Hi,” I say with a laugh.
“I’m going to do shots with the guys,” Declan says. “Holler if you need me.”
“I’ll be fine.”
He walks away, and Keira starts giggling.
"Don't," I say.
"I'm not saying anything."
"You're saying everything."
She grins and takes a sip of her drink. "I'm just happy. Is that allowed?"
I look across the room to where Declan is laughing with some of the other hockey players.
"Yeah," I tell Keira. "It's allowed."
“Declan is being very attentive tonight.”
“Yes, he is. What’s with you and Crew?”
“We broke up.”
“What!”
She laughs, which is exactly not the reaction I expect. “Keira, what the hell? You guys had your tongues down each other’s throats an hour ago.”
“I know. We’re still friends. Really good friends.”
“I don’t understand. I thought you two were good.”
She shrugs. “It’s not that dramatic. Crew is fun. We have fun together, but we’re graduating soon. We’re not interested in the whole relationship thing. I’m going to London after graduation, and he’s going to be working with his dad. We were just having fun.”
“Oh.”
“But you and Declan seem to have figured things out.”
“Declan and I are exploring the Nile.”
“Huh?”
“Denial. Da Nile. Head in the sand. If we don’t talk about it, it doesn’t exist.”
She bursts into laughter again. “Got it. Well, whatever works. Come on, you’re way too sober. Let’s get another drink.”
It’s after four in the morning when I flop into bed next to Declan. I went from drunk to sober to buzzed. And I’m exhausted. There are bodies all over the house and even some scattered in the yard.
The true sign of a good party. Thankfully, the weather is mild.
“How are you feeling?” Declan asks.
“Exhausted. You?”
“Yep.”
I feel myself drifting when he takes a deep breath.
Oh no.
I know what that means. I don’t want to ruin a perfect night with heavy talk, but that’s the side effect of alcohol. Real talk.
"I need to tell you something,” he says.
Be cool.
Don’t panic.
He took the Seattle deal. I knew it was coming. I expected this.
Denial is over.
“What is it?”
"There's another team," he says.
I go still.
"Boston. They have the number two pick. I put out the word that I might be interested. I have to go around my dad. For now. Last night was all about impressing them. I want to play hockey, but I only want to play on this side of the country.”
“Really?”
“Yes. I’m hoping to hear something from them. Nothing is official until the draft, but if they're interested, my dad can start working the relationship."
“Declan, that’s amazing, but what if they don’t call?”
“Then I’ll deal with it, but I’m pretty sure I can get something. Maybe even in the AHL. I want to be here. And I want to play. I’m not going to accept anything less than what I want.”
“Well, look at you manifesting.”
“Yep.”
“What do you think your dad will say?”
He lets out a long exhale. “Honestly, I think he would just be happy to have me in the league. He’s pushing for Seattle because they reached out. And yeah, it’s a better team, but that’s not what I’m about.”
“He’s going to say you’re choosing East Coast because of me.”
“So?”
"Your dad has always made me feel like I was a problem to be managed," I say.
"And I know that's about him. I know his opinions about who you should be with are not your opinions.
But he's loud, Declan. He's been loud throughout our entire relationship.
And every time things get hard between us, his voice is going to be right there. "
Declan is quiet for a moment.
"My dad doesn't get a vote," he says.
"I know that's what you believe, but he’s an important part of your life."
"My dad has never been in a relationship that worked.
He pushed my mother out of our lives and then spent twenty years being angry about it and taking it out on every decision I made.
He's not someone whose judgment I trust on anything that matters.
" He pulls me against his body. "He definitely doesn't get a vote on you. "
I breathe out.
"You are not a liability," he says. "You have never been a liability.
If anything, you're the only thing in my life that has consistently made me want to be better at the rest of it. That's not a complication. I played my ass off last night because I wanted to be here. I did that for you. I want to play hard so I can stay here. That’s a pretty big incentive. Not money—you.”
“Declan, are you sure?”
“Yes. I don’t have any doubts in my mind. I’m going to do this whether you agree or not.”
That makes me laugh. “Oh yeah?”
He rolls over and pins me beneath him. “Yes. Don’t run from me again, Sutton. I’m serious. I will chase you, but I can’t promise I’ll do it forever. I love you. Understood?”
"Okay," I say. My voice is smaller than I'd like.
"Okay," he says back. “We’ve been doing this funny dance, but I’m done dancing. We’re together. Period.”
“I’m not sure I like this alpha thing.”
“Yes, you do. And you need it.”
He kisses me. I let myself fall into the certainty he's offering that I've been too afraid to accept.
When he pulls back, his eyes are serious. "I mean it, Sutton. No more running."
"No more running," I agree.
He settles beside me, pulling me against his chest. I can hear his heartbeat, steady and strong. The house is quiet now except for the occasional shuffle of someone finding a bathroom or stumbling around.
"When do you think you'll hear?" I ask.
"Could be a few days. It could be a week, but I'll hear something."
I trace patterns on his chest with my finger. "And if it doesn't work out? If they don't call?"
"Then I'll figure something else out. Maybe I'll coach. Maybe I'll do something completely different." He catches my hand and brings it to his lips. "But I'm not leaving. That's the one thing I know for sure."
I want to argue. I want to tell him he can't make life decisions based on me. But I'm tired of fighting. Tired of pretending I don't want exactly what he's offering.
"Okay," I whisper.
"Okay?"
"Yeah. Okay." I lift my head to look at him. "We'll figure it out together."
The smile that spreads across his face is worth every moment of uncertainty, every sleepless night, and every tear I've cried over this man.
"Together," he repeats, and kisses me again.
I fall asleep wrapped around him, and for the first time in months, I don't dream about losing him. I dream about our future, with both of us getting our dreams.