Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
SUTTON
Senior year doesn't end the way I thought it would.
I thought I'd feel ready. I thought there'd be some moment in the last weeks where I'd look around and think, Okay, I've gotten everything I came here for; I know how to leave this. Instead, I move through the last weeks feeling like I'm saying goodbye to life.
The days compress the way they do at the end of things. There’s so much to do. Study. Pack. Make plans. Suddenly, there are three weeks left, then two, and now we’re in the last week of my college education.
The excitement I feel overpowers the sadness that threatens to take over.
I’m in my room, scrolling through for new bedding for my new apartment in Boston.
Declan bursts through the door, scaring the shit out of me and nearly causing me to throw my laptop.
“Babe! What the hell? Are you okay?”
He’s grinning, so that’s a good sign. Now I can be angry at him for nearly giving me a heart attack.
“Dad called.”
“And? Did they agree to it?”
His face falls. “No. He told me not to get my hopes up.”
“And yet, you’re smiling.”
“Because my dad does that. It’s still him trying to prove he was right. He wants me to stress out and think it won’t happen. I’m choosing optimism.”
I tend to be more of a pessimist, but I’ll play along. Maybe optimism works. Maybe we can put it out into the universe, he’ll get the Boston call, and everything will be okay.
“I’ll be hopeful with you. I’ve seen what your dad will do to get what he wants for you.”
“I hope he doesn’t ruffle too many feathers. I want to slide into the team and keep my head down. Those guys think I’m coming for their glory, and they’re going to make my life hell. I just want to play a little hockey. Make a little cash and go home.”
I pull him down to me, my hands already pulling his shirt over his head. "Okay, we’re being optimistic. I think this calls for a pre-win celebration."
His grin turns wicked. "What did you have in mind?"
"I have a few ideas."
My hands explore the planes of his chest, the hard muscle I know so well. He's beautiful. He's always been beautiful, but right now—flushed with success and happiness—he's devastating.
"You're staring," he says.
"I'm admiring."
He leans down and kisses me, slow and deep. His hands slide under my shirt, pushing it up. I break the kiss long enough for him to pull it over my head, and then his mouth is on my neck, trailing down to my collarbone.
"Declan," I breathe.
"Yeah?"
“Door.”
He groans. “There is something to be said for not having roommates.”
He climbs off the bed and shuts the door, making sure to lock it.
And then he pounces, nearly bouncing me right off the bed. We’re both laughing when his mouth covers mine again.
"I need you," I say against his mouth.
He doesn't need to be told twice. We shed the rest of our clothes in a fumbling rush. His jeans get stuck on his ankle, and I laugh, which makes him laugh, and suddenly we're both giggling like idiots while trying to get naked as fast as possible.
When we're finally bare, he pauses. His eyes roam over me with an intensity that makes my skin flush.
"I love you," he says.
"I love you, too."
He kisses me again, deeper this time. I wrap my legs around his waist. I can feel him hard against me, and I shift my hips, trying to get closer.
"Impatient," he murmurs against my lips.
"Very."
He reaches between us, his fingers finding me already wet. I gasp as he strokes me. He knows exactly how to touch me, exactly what I need.
"Please," I whisper. "I need you inside me."
He positions himself and pushes in slowly. No matter how many times we do this, it never gets old. The feeling of him filling me, stretching me, completing me.
He starts to move over me.
"God, you feel so good," he groans.
I can't form words. All I can do is hold on as he drives into me harder, faster. I should be quiet, but who cares? It’s not like we haven’t heard every one of these guys doing the exact same thing a hundred times.
He shifts the angle, and suddenly he's hitting that spot inside me that makes me see stars. I cry out, my body tensing.
His mouth is on mine, and then nipping at my jaw and over my neck. And then he goes still, a low keening sound escapes his throat. I can feel him pulsing inside me. It triggers another small aftershock, making me shiver.
We stay like that for a moment, both of us breathing hard, our bodies still joined.
"Congratulations," I finally say. "On the contract."
He lifts his head and grins at me. "Best celebration ever."
"I thought you'd appreciate it."
He pulls out slowly and rolls to the side, one arm tossed out and the other wrapped around my shoulders.
"I can't believe this is really happening," he says. "Everything I wanted. Hockey. You. A future that's actually mine."
"I'm so proud of you."
"I couldn't have done it without you."
"Yes, you could have."
"Maybe. But it wouldn't have meant as much." He kisses the top of my head. "You pushed me to figure out what I actually wanted. Not what my dad wanted, not what everyone expected. What I wanted."
I tilt my head up to look at him. "And what do you want?"
"This. You. A life we build together." He smiles. "And maybe a Stanley Cup or two."
I laugh. "Always the competitor."
"You love it."
"I do."
We lie there for another few minutes before reality intrudes. I can hear voices downstairs. The guys are home.
"We should get dressed," I say reluctantly.
"Five more minutes."
"They're going to know what we were doing."
"They definitely already know. You weren’t quiet."
I groan and bury my face in his chest. "Oh god."
"Too late to worry about it now." He sits up, pulling me with him. "Come on. Let's go face the music."
We dress quickly. I steal one of his hoodies because mine are all packed. When I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I look thoroughly ravaged. My hair is a mess, my lips are swollen, and there's a hickey forming on my neck.
"Subtle," I mutter, pulling the hood up.
Declan comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. "You look beautiful."
"I look like I just had sex."
"Same thing."
I elbow him gently, and he laughs.
We head downstairs hand in hand. The kitchen is already busy. Ashton walks in from the living room just as we appear.
"Well, well," Crew says with a shit-eating grin. "Look who finally decided to join us."
"Shut up," I say, but I'm smiling.
"We heard the good news," Pierce says. "Congratulations, man." He holds out his hand, and Declan shakes it; then they pull into a brief hug.
"Thanks. I'm still processing it."
"Boston's lucky to have you," Ashton adds. There's something in his voice—pride mixed with sadness. He leaves Sunday for the AHL in Seattle. He didn’t make the draft, but a year or two in the minors might get him into the NHL.
This is one of our last nights all together.
The realization hits me hard. This is it. This is the last big house dinner before everything changes. The guys decided to order a huge Mexican feast—tacos, enchiladas, rice, beans, and the best carne asada I’ve ever had.
We set the table. Coronas all around. I quickly slice up a couple of limes, and then we sit down. We don’t immediately dive into the food.
I think we all just realized at the same time, this is it. The moment is too heavy to ignore.
I glance around at all of them. These guys who became my family. Who took me in when I had nowhere else to go and who supported me through the breakup and the makeup and everything in between. I'm going to miss this so much.
We all exchange looks, and I swear I see tears in Crew’s eyes.
I’m a girl and just walk right into the stereotype and cry. They’re happy and sad tears.
“You okay?” Declan asks.
I smile and nod, blinking away the tears and pushing through the moment. “I’m just thinking about how much I'm going to miss this."
"We'll still see each other. Boston's not that far."
"I know. But it won't be the same."
He doesn't argue because we both know it's true. This chapter is ending. We're all moving on to the next thing.
Dinner is chaotic in the best way. We pass dishes while talking over each other.
Everyone is excited about their futures.
Everyone except Ashton will be staying in the general area.
There are lots of plans to get together and do the usual stuff, but I know that’s unlikely to happen.
I know how this goes. They’ll all have careers, girlfriends, and new families.
This is it.
"Speech!" Holden suddenly calls out, banging his fork on the table. "Hayes, you gotta say something."
"I'm not making a speech," Declan protests. “That’s dumb.”
“I’ll say something,” Ashton says. His tone is serious.
The table goes quiet, and we all give him our full attention.
He takes a deep breath. “So I had this whole thing prepared about how you guys changed my life and how I'm a better person for knowing you all. Very heartfelt. Very emotional."
I can already feel myself tearing up again. I reach for my beer.
"But then I remembered that time Crew shit his pants during practice sophomore year and tried to blame it on the equipment manager."
I choke on my Corona. Beer goes up my nose, and I'm simultaneously laughing and dying.
"Dude!" Crew shouts, his face turning bright red. "That was confidential information!"
"Or the time Holden got so drunk he called his mom, thinking it was that girl from his psych class, and told her he wanted to bend her over."
Holden is the one choking now.
"Or Pierce," Ashton continues, grinning like the devil himself.
"Do not finish that sentence," Pierce warns, but he's laughing, too.
I’m invested. I need him to finish that sentence.
“Pierce was dared to stick his tongue against a pole and did it,” Ashton says. “The ambulance had to come and everything.”
"And Declan." Ashton turns to look at him. "My best friend. Who once got so nervous before a game that he threw up in his helmet and then had to wear it anyway because we didn't have a backup."
"I hate you," Declan says, but he's smiling.
"And Sutton." Ashton's eyes land on me. "Who walked in on me and that girl from her chemistry class and just stood there for a full ten seconds before saying 'nice ass' and walking back out."
The whole table is in hysterics now. I'm wiping tears from my eyes, but these are good tears. Happy tears.
"My point is, you're all a bunch of degenerates, and I love you for it. Here's to never growing up too much."
"To never growing up!" we all echo, clinking our bottles together.