Chapter Four Kelsie
That evening, I walked into the seafood restaurant with butterflies in my stomach. At least, that was how it felt. I knew it was just nervous energy from knowing that I was about to see Damien.
I’d never felt this way around him. Things had always been easy between the two of us, ever since we first met.
Our jobs brought us together. As a youth advocate, I worked with troubled kids.
A program that I created two years ago introduced those children to career options that helped the community.
Part of that was visiting people like nurses, teachers, mental health counselors, and first responders.
When I took a group of kids to visit the firehouse, Damien happened to be on duty.
We hit it off right away, becoming friends as we connected over our mutual love of basketball and spicy food. It was always so natural between us, conversation flowing freely and a bond forming from the beginning.
I would have pursued something with him then, but he was dating a woman named Amy. So, I settled for friendship, even though I wanted more than that. He and Amy only dated for about two months after that, and they broke up because she cheated on him.
Damien took it hard, and I was there for him. He didn’t love Amy, but being betrayed by someone you trusted was a punch in the gut. It didn’t feel right to make a move when he was going through that, so I doubled down on being a great friend, always hoping he would one day open his eyes and see me.
Now that I knew it wasn’t going to happen, everything felt different. Knowing I was about to see him put me on edge.
But I walked into the restaurant with my head held high and a smile on my face.
Everyone was meeting here for dinner, and it looked like about half the group had already arrived. Damien wasn’t among them, and I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding at that realization.
Normally, I would save a seat for him right beside me, but I didn’t want to do that tonight. It wasn’t a punishment for him; it was a necessity for me. For my heart and my sanity. I just needed a little space from Damien right now.
There was an empty chair between Angela and a man I hadn’t met yet, so I headed straight to it. Before I could even reach for the chair, the unknown man got to his feet and pulled it out for me. I smiled.
“Thank you,” I said, allowing him to push the chair in as I sat down.
“It’s my pleasure. A beautiful woman should always have a gentleman pull out her chair for her.”
I chuckled. “And that’s what you are? A gentleman?”
“I try.” He held his hand out to me. “I’m Gordon. Ryan’s cousin.”
I knew that Kirsten had a brother, so I figured this was him. They looked alike, except that while she looked bored and annoyed all day at the winery, Gordon looked happy to be here.
“Kelsie,” I said, shaking his hand. “Leanne’s cousin.”
He was cute, with black hair that had been buzzed short and a dimple in his right cheek. His charming smile matched his flirty words, and I had the immediate impression that he rarely lacked in attention from women. He held himself with a steady confidence.
But he was barking up the wrong tree with me. My heart was way too bruised from what happened with Damien for me to even entertain the idea of hooking up with anyone at this wedding.
Still, I was friendly as Gordon chatted with me, telling me all about his job as a defense attorney. He’d just wrapped up a case, which was why he was a day late to arrive on the island.
“Don’t believe what you see on TV,” he said. “The courtroom isn’t nearly as interesting as it’s portrayed on crime shows. Very little drama.”
I shook my head with a smile. “What a shame. I always kind of liked the thought of lawyers yelling out objections and over-the-top revelations from witnesses that really break a case open.”
Gordon chuckled. “Courtroom cases are more about long wait times, respectful adherence to protocol, and discussing the same information over and over again.”
I wrinkled my nose. “Sounds dull.”
“It can be. I just have to find excitement in other parts of my life.”
There was no missing the suggestive tone of his voice.
The man wasn’t subtle, but I wasn’t sure if he was being serious or just playful.
Either way, it felt like I should make it clear that I wasn’t interested.
But before I could come up with a way to say that, the air around me seemed to shift.
The fine hair on my arms stood up, and I knew I was being watched.
Turning my head, I locked eyes with Damien.
He was standing on the other side of the long table, and the expression he wore was one that I’d never seen before.
Discomfort, guilt, and annoyance tightened the lines of his face.
His brows were drawn together in a sharp ‘V,’ and his mouth was tightly compressed in a thin line.
His eyes shifted away from mine, darting to each side of me, where the chairs were occupied.
Act normal. Treat him like a friend.
I offered Damien a plastic smile that he could probably tell was fake, but it was the best I could manage.
With stiff movements, he pulled out the chair across from me, and I felt like I’d swallowed a boulder that sat heavily in my stomach.
My breathing was a little heavier, and my body felt colder.
This wasn’t how being around Damien was supposed to make me feel. He was always warmth and comfort and longing that felt inevitable instead of foolish.
Everything had changed.
I wished he wasn’t sitting directly across from me. I didn’t want to look at him during the whole meal and think about how much his rejection hurt.
But as the meal began, I didn’t actually have to worry about it too much. Half the people at the table were friends and family that I shared with Leanne, so there were plenty of others to talk to. I turned my attention to them and tried not to think too much about Damien.
The only problem was that I kept feeling that sensation of being watched, and every time that I glanced in Damien’s direction, his eyes were on me. He didn’t say anything to me, but he didn’t look happy.
I could only think that he was curious about how things stood after last night. Despite my massive miscalculation about his feelings for me, I knew Damien better than anyone, and I knew that it was probably bothering him that we hadn’t talked since our awkward conversation this morning.
“What did you order?” Gordon asked when our food arrived.
“Seafood risotto. You want to try some?”
Gordon leaned in close as if he expected me to feed him from my fork. I chuckled and put a small portion onto the edge of his plate. That led to Gordon cutting a piece of his seabass for me.
“You know, I don’t just share my food with anyone,” he said with a cheeky grin. He held out his fork for me, but I just lifted an eyebrow until he placed the small portion of fish onto my plate. “I guess we’re officially new friends.”
The sound of someone clearing their throat on the other side of the table drew my attention to Damien. This time, his eyes weren’t on me. He was staring at Gordon with a deep frown on his face.
“I don’t think we’ve met,” he said. “I’m Damien.”
“Gordon, Ryan’s cousin. He told me about you. You guys work together at the firehouse, right?”
Damien nodded, but there was no friendly smile on his face, no polite small talk. Instead, the moment turned tense as he studied Gordon with a piercing gaze that bordered on rude.
That wasn’t like Damien, and I didn’t understand what was wrong with him. Was he really that upset that I didn’t save him a seat at my side? Even though I usually did, I couldn’t see how it would be a big deal for him either way.
“How was the boat excursion?” I asked, hoping to break the strange tension. It was the first thing I’d said to Damien since I practically fled his room this morning and emotion tightened my throat, making my voice sound strained.
God, this is all wrong. Damien and I aren’t like this.
But maybe we were now. Maybe we would be for a while.
“It was great,” Jake said from Damien’s side. “When we stopped to swim, a boat full of women came by, and I’ve got a date lined up with one of them later tonight.”
Further down the table, Ryan chimed in, teasing Jake about only agreeing to be a groomsman so that he could pick up women all week.
From there, the boat excursion became a group discussion, and I found myself laughing as Ford made fun of Ryan screaming when a piece of seaweed brushed his foot in the water.
But in the middle of it, my eyes met Damien’s once again. There was no amusement there, no laughter. He didn’t participate in the conversation. I didn’t think anyone else noticed, and I was glad. I didn’t want anyone to question his strange behavior or pick up on the distance between the two of us.
This week was about my cousin marrying the love of her life, not my unrequited love for my best friend. For the sake of what remained of my pride, no one else ever needed to know.