Chapter Eight Kelsie
Damien’s deep breathing seemed louder than it should have in the silent hotel room. It was late in the morning—we’d both missed breakfast—and he was still asleep on the couch.
I didn’t ask him to stay last night, but I wasn’t surprised that he did. Despite the recent distance between us, I knew him better than anyone. I knew he would never leave me alone if he was concerned that I might be seriously injured, even if I was sure that I was fine.
I tried to ignore the warm affection in my chest as I thought about how he picked me up off the ground and insisted on carrying me to the med room yesterday. Then, there was the way he fussed over me all evening. None of that felt like simple friendship to me, but I had to stop thinking that way.
Walking past him, I went into the bathroom.
After using the toilet, I stood in front of the mirror.
I didn’t even bother to look at the bruise on my temple yesterday, but after the way that Damien fretted over it, I almost expected a huge, ugly bruise.
Instead, there was a small, greyish smudge at my temple that I was pretty sure I would be able to cover with makeup for the wedding. It wasn’t too bad.
But I still had a slight lingering headache. Using water from the sink, I took two Tylenol.
As I stepped out of the bathroom, my eyes shot to the couch, only to find it empty. Damien was awake now and standing by the bed, stretching his arms over his head. His T-shirt rose, showing off the taut skin on his stomach and making my core pulse with desire.
I froze in place, even though there was a constant, gravitational pull that constantly urged me to get close to him.
I hated that I still felt this way. Maybe a couple of days wasn’t enough time to get over two years of unrequited love, but I had hoped that the pain of his rejection would start to fade as I put distance between us.
But that’s not really working out, is it?
I couldn’t truly avoid Damien, and not just because we were on this island for a wedding and there were events every day that put us around each other. He was a huge part of my life, and I couldn’t imagine a world where that wasn’t the case.
Maybe over time, I could handle just being friends, the way he wanted. But for now, I needed space, as much as I could possibly get.
“You should go,” I said.
Hurt flickered across his face, and guilt burned through me. He helped me yesterday, slept all night on my uncomfortable couch. That meant something, and I knew I was being ungrateful, but the problem was that actions like that were the exact reason it was so hard to get over him.
I needed to protect my heart.
“The doctor said we should look out for signs of a concussion for twenty-four hours, just to be safe.”
“She said it was unlikely, and I won’t be alone for most of the day. The women in the wedding party are going to the spa.”
“Still, I want to make sure you’re okay until you leave.”
Damien stepped closer, placing a hand on my shoulder. The touch was familiar, platonic, and devastating. I wanted to move closer and shove him away all at the same time. My mind was a mess of contradictions.
I couldn’t stand it.
“Damn it, Damien,” I snapped. “Can’t you just listen?”
He flinched like I’d slapped him, then looked at me in shock. We rarely ever fought, but this felt inevitable. Every interaction with him felt like it jabbed at an open wound in the center of my chest. The pain of it was pushing me toward frustration and made it hard not to lash out.
“Kelsie…”
I didn’t know what he was going to say or if I was even ready to hear it. I felt fragile this morning, like I was about to break into a million pieces. Hearing him talk about the night we spent together, revisiting his rejection, felt like too much right now.
Before he got his thoughts together, my phone dinged with a text message. Welcoming the distraction, I went to the nightstand where Damien must have plugged my phone into the charger for me last night.
“It’s Jess,” I said, not looking at Damien as I typed out a quick reply to her message. “She says everyone decided at breakfast to leave early for the spa.”
“You’re going now?” Damien asked.
“Yeah. I just need to get dressed. So…”
I didn’t want to tell him to leave again after the wounded look he’d given me the first time I said it, but I hoped he’d take the hint. Instead, he lingered while I started pulling clothes out of the dresser.
“How do you feel?” he asked. “Are you sure you’re up to going out today?”
“It’s a spa day, Damien. I don’t think I need to worry too much about overexerting myself.”
“The bachelor and bachelorette parties are tonight.”
When I turned to face him with clothes in my hands, the concern was back in his eyes, and my heart softened. Why did I have to be so weak for this man?
I offered him a small smile. “I know, and they start more than twenty-four hours after my slight bump on the head. I’m sure I’ll be fine by then.”
Damien looked torn for a moment, like he wanted to argue further, and I wasn’t surprised.
He was a caretaker, the type of man who went out of his way to make sure the people he cared about were safe and happy.
He even looked out for strangers. That was part of what made him so well-suited to be a firefighter.
“Alright,” he said, nodding stiffly. “But I’m going to text you throughout the day to check on you. Please… please just respond, okay?”
The vulnerability in his voice made me want to cross the room and throw my arms around him.
Instead, I murmured an agreement and forced my feet to carry me back to the bathroom.
I changed my clothes and brushed my teeth.
I even took a few minutes to carefully apply my makeup, making sure to cover the bruise on my temple as much as I could.
It was hardly noticeable by the time I was done.
Stepping out of the bathroom, I saw that Damien had finally done as I asked. He was gone.
It should have been a relief, a chance to breathe without the undercurrent of tension that existed between us now.
But life and emotions were more complicated than that.
The silence of the room didn’t feel like peace the way it should have.
The hurt I felt around him didn’t disappear with his absence.
Instead, there was a hollow, sinking feeling in my stomach.
I hated the way that my mind and body were in such conflict.
Sharp logic told me that I shouldn’t want Damien to still be here, but my heart ached knowing that he’d left, even though he only did it because I asked him to.
Exhausted with myself, I grabbed my phone and hotel room key, stuffing both into my purse before heading down to the lobby to meet the girls for our spa day.
When the elevator doors opened, Jake was alone inside. His eyes went straight to my temple, and I knew that he could see the slight discoloration there despite the makeup I applied. A frown pulled at his mouth.
“Shit, Kelsie. I’m sorry about yesterday.”
I waved a hand as I stepped into the elevator, dismissing his concern. “Don’t be. It was an accident, and I’m really fine. I dealt with worse when I played on my high school volleyball team.”
“Oh yeah?” Jake leaned against the back of the elevator and grinned. “I’m sure you had a few bumps and bruises, but I played football, so I had some real injuries.”
I rolled my eyes. “Really? You want to make it a competition?”
“What’s the matter? Afraid you’ll lose?”
That led to a ridiculous comparison of sports-related injuries we’d both seen and experienced during our high school days while we rode the elevator down together.
By the time we reached the lobby, I was laughing at his claim that a hamstring sprain he experienced was worse than a broken leg that my team captain got from a particularly nasty in-air collision and rough landing.
“You’re insane,” I said, shaking my head as we stepped out of the elevator. “Nadia broke a bone. That’s got to be worse than your little pulled muscle.”
Jake’s jaw dropped in exaggerated offense.
“You wound me,” he said, placing a hand on his chest. “So harsh.”
We were walking toward the rest of the women in the wedding party, gathered around a seating area in the lobby with modern furniture and fake tropical plants. Leanne spotted us and made her way over while the others seemed to be looking at brochures for the spa.
“Don’t even think about trying to come to the spa,” she said to Jake. “No boys allowed.”
“You’re cold, Leanne,” he said, but the teasing lilt of his voice and the way she rolled her eyes at him reminded me of watching two siblings bicker.
He was Ryan’s brother, but I knew that he and Leanne got along well enough.
Maybe even better than he got along with Ryan himself.
I didn’t know much about their history, but I had the impression that there was some rivalry between the brothers growing up that still affected their relationship today.
I didn’t mind Jake. He was easy enough to get along with.
Some of the women in the wedding party had griped about him over the last couple of days as we’d all hung out together, judging him for his playboy ways, although he didn’t seem to try to hit on any of bridesmaids.
He’d also been vocal about the fact that he couldn’t understand why Ryan would want to get married because a lifelong commitment like that was just unnatural.
I would have thought that such a thing would make Leanne resent him, but she’d explained to me that it wasn’t a personal slight against her.
Jake had his own commitment issues that made him question the whole institution of marriage and monogamy in general.
Hearing that made me look at him differently as well.
He wasn’t a bad guy just because he liked to sleep around.
I didn’t think I’d ever consider him a close friend, though.