Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
DECLAN
Ifind Sutton in her room Friday evening. She’s lying on her bed wearing a pair of pajama shorts and a T-shirt. She has a book open and is furiously scribbling notes on a yellow pad.
"Hey," I say from the doorway. "Got a minute?"
She looks up and graces me with one of those smiles that sends warmth spreading through my body. "For you? Always."
I close the door behind me and sit on her bed. “Studying?”
“Yes. I figured since I have to work all weekend, I'd better do it now.”
"I leave at six tomorrow morning," I say.
"I know. Ships passing in the night."
"I hate that we're going to miss the whole weekend together."
"Me too. But that's life, right?" She sits beside me. "Hockey waits for no one."
This is it—the opening I need.
"Speaking of hockey—" I take her hand. "I need to tell you something."
I see the fear jump in her eyes. "Okay."
"The dev camp invitation came. December. Two weeks over winter break."
She goes very still. "December."
"Yeah. They want Ashton and me just to—I don't know—see how we fit with the team. Work with their coaches. It's not a guarantee of anything, but it's the next step."
"So it's real then." Her voice is quiet. "This whole Seattle thing. It's really happening."
"Maybe. I don't know. I haven't decided yet."
"Decided what? Whether to go to dev camp?"
"Whether I want this. Any of it." I turn to face her fully. "I wanted to talk to you about it. Get your thoughts."
"My thoughts?" She laughs, but there's no humor in it. "Declan, this is your career. Your dream. What do my thoughts matter?"
"They matter because you matter. Because whatever I decide affects both of us."
She pulls her hand away, standing up to pace. "I'm not going to be the reason you turn down an opportunity like this."
"I'm not asking you to be. I'm just asking what you think."
"What do I think?" She spins to face me. "I think it's terrifying. I think the idea of you being three thousand miles away makes me want to throw up. I think I just got you back, and now you might be leaving again."
My head drops because I knew this was what she was feeling. “I know.”
"But I also think—" Her voice cracks. "I also think you'd regret it forever if you didn't go. If you turned this down because of me."
"What if I didn't regret it? What if staying is what I actually want?"
"Is it?" She searches my face. "Or are you just scared?"
The question hits too close to home.
"I don't know," I admit. "Maybe both."
She comes back to the bed, taking my hands in hers. "Listen to me. I love you. And because I love you, I want you to explore this opportunity. I want you to go to camp and see if it's what you really want. Not what your dad wants. Not what the team expects. What you want."
"What about us?"
"We'll figure it out. Together. Like we promised." She squeezes my hands. "But you can't make this decision based on me. You have to make it based on what's right for you."
"You're right for me."
She gives me a quick kiss. “And I love you for saying that.”
"I mean it. You're the best thing in my life, the one thing that makes sense. Everything else is just noise."
Her eyes fill with tears. "You're going to make me cry."
"Sorry."
"Don't be sorry." She takes a shaky breath. "Go to camp. Spend two weeks with the team. See how it feels. And then we'll talk. We'll figure out what it means for us."
"You're sure?"
"No. I'm terrified. But I'm also sure that I love you enough to let you find out what you really want."
I pull her into my lap, holding her tight. "What did I do to deserve you?"
"Nothing. I'm just stupid enough to love a hockey player."
"Hey." I tilt her chin up. "You're not stupid. You're incredible. And way too good for me."
"That's true."
I laugh and kiss her. She melts into me, her hands sliding into my hair.
When we break apart, she's smiling through her tears.
“Lock the door,” she whispers.
She doesn’t have to tell me twice.
I hop off the bed, kicking off my shoes as I lock the door. All the guys are home, so I pull over a chair and place it in front of the door.
“Do you expect them to break it down?” she asks with a laugh.
“You never know. Crew was inviting over some of the guys from the team. No one is supposed to drink before game day, but those assholes don’t listen.”
She pulls her shirt off, and I practically fall to my knees at her feet.
“How am I supposed to leave for two whole weeks?” I groan.
I jerk off my shirt and toss it while she shimmies out of her shorts.
“We’ll just have to spend as much time together as we can to hold us both over.” She grins.
We’re both naked, standing in her bedroom, and nothing is between us. It’s vulnerable. Exposing. And perfect.
I reach for her, and she walks straight into my arms.
I pour everything I feel into the kiss—the love, the fear, the desperate need to make this moment last.
She pushes me back onto the bed, straddling me. Her hair falls around us like a curtain, blocking out the world.
"I love you," I say against her lips.
"I love you, too. Now stop talking."
I grin and flip us so she's underneath me. "Yes, ma'am."
I savor every inch of skin. The curve of her hip. The dip of her waist. The swell of her breasts.
"You're staring," she murmurs.
"Can't help it. You're beautiful."
"You're biased."
"Absolutely." I kiss down her neck, her collarbone, and the valley between her breasts. "But that doesn't make it less true."
She gasps when my mouth closes over her nipple. Her back arches, pushing her breast further into my mouth.
My hand slides down her stomach, between her legs. She's already wet for me.
I reach for a condom, rolling it on with shaking hands before dropping on my back.
“Come here,” I say.
She eagerly obliges, crawling over me.
"I need you," she whispers.
"You have me. Always."
I help guide her as she positions herself over me, and then she's sinking, taking me inch by inch. We both groan at the sensation.
"God, Sutton," I breathe. "You feel incredible."
She braces her hands on my chest and starts to move. Slow at first, finding her rhythm. Her head falls back, exposing the long line of her throat.
I grab her hips, helping her move. She's so perfect. Every nerve ending in my body is on fire.
"Declan," she moans my name, and it sends heat straight through me.
"Look at me," I say.
Her eyes meet mine, and the connection is electric. This isn't just physical. It never has been with her. Every time we're together like this, it feels like we're cementing something deeper.
She picks up the pace, riding me harder.
I can feel her tightening around me, getting closer.
"Oh god," she cries out. "Right there."
"That's it, baby. Let me feel you."
Her movements become erratic and desperate. I thrust into her, matching her rhythm, both of us chasing releases.
She shatters, her body clenching around me as she cries out. The sensation pushes me over the edge, and I follow her, groaning her name as pleasure crashes through me.
She collapses on my chest, both of us breathing hard. I wrap my arms around her, holding her close. Our hearts pound against each other.
"I love you," I whisper into her hair. "No matter what happens with Seattle or anything else, that won't change."
She lifts her head to look at me. "Promise?"
"I promise."
She kisses me softly, then settles back against my chest.
"What time do you leave in the morning?" she asks.
"Six a.m. We won't be back until Sunday afternoon."
"Come back to me in one piece."
"Always."
There's a loud crash from downstairs, followed by shouting and laughter. The guys are definitely getting rowdy.
"Should we go down there?" Sutton asks.
"Absolutely not. I want you all to myself for as long as possible."
She smiles and kisses me. “I like the sound of that.”