Chapter 15
KIERA
The next morning, I was still sore, but I didn’t care.
Instead, I finished my daily yoga, went through my emails that my team had already gone through, so I wasn’t going to be surprised by anything, and worked on a few more lyrics.
I had the song in my head pretty much down.
“Rotten Pines” and even “Paper Wings”. I had a few more ideas, but I wasn’t sure if they were ready for the band or not.
I was never going to be a solo act, but I had a feeling that my words with Gabriel’s voice would be exactly what I needed.
I seriously didn’t know how I had gotten so lucky with this band, but I was. And now I need space.
Because I was so damn afraid. Not of my ex.
Though I probably should be. No, I was afraid of Bodhi.
And even thinking those words would be terrible for him.
I would never want to hurt him, but I knew he was going to hurt me.
There was no other way about it. He was going to hurt me because I had fallen for him, and we weren’t going to talk about it.
I was in love with Bodhi Ashford. I whispered the words, and I wasn’t even sure he had heard.
My time in Ashford Creek was rapidly dwindling. I hadn’t even meant to stay here this long, and yet I had used my entire vacation wrapped up within these mountains and in Bodhi’s arms.
And that was enough of that line of thought.
I had come to Ashford Creek to lick my wounds and find a way to breathe.
I had done that, and now I needed to go back to the real world.
I needed to leave Bodhi behind. After all, he had to be nearly ready for that as well.
There was likely only so much he could handle when it came to me.
I knew that. He knew that. So, finding my own path sounded like the best thing.
But why did that concept make my stomach turn?
My phone buzzed, and I quickly texted back the band group chat, knowing that soon we would be talking in person. We had spent too long apart and were far too codependent for this.
Rocky
What is this I hear about a bearded broody man?
Gabriel
It wasn’t me. I didn’t say anything.
Rocky
You just did.
I pinched the bridge of my nose and told myself that this was for the best. Secrets hurt bands. They hurt friend groups. And therefore I needed to be open and honest when it came to my friends.
Even if all I wanted to do was run away and pretend it wasn’t happening.
Me
Don’t worry about it. I’ll be back soon, and you don’t need to deal with me like that.
Rocky
Deal with you like what? Do I need to go find this man and hurt him? Is he hurting our baby?
I rolled my eyes, wondering why I had even said anything. Rocky was like a dog with a bone when it came to her people. The group chat continued to go off, and I ignored it to the best of my ability. The more I ignored it, the easier it would be to move on and find my new normal.
And why was I laughing at myself when I thought those words?
My phone buzzed again, and this time it was from a slightly closer group chat.
Teagan
I’m going to take an early lunch because I want to hurt my boss, so what do you say we meet up at the bakery? I could use a panini.
My lips twitched, but the thought of meeting her out there did sound nice.
I would have to see if she could pick me up or if Bodhi could take me.
It just occurred to me that this whole time, I hadn’t had a car.
I had been getting along decently well on my own, but at some point, I probably should have worried about the fact that I had relied on other people this entire time.
I found, wondering where those thoughts had come from, I was allowed to rely on people. Right?
Me
That sounds good. What time?
We made our plans, and I was grateful to have this woman in my life.
I had been friends with Briar for years—ever since I had joined the band.
Teagan had been on the periphery, as she did her best to be with her sister as much as possible.
But this time had brought me closer to Teagan, just like it had her brother.
Perhaps this time was exactly what I had needed.
And being with the Ashfords was a trip all on its own.
I quickly put down the phone and finished getting ready for the day. Yoga had stressed me out, which was the exact opposite of its goal, but my brain couldn’t help but go in a thousand different directions sometimes.
Now I was going to head to a lovely lunch in a small town that had slowly taken me in, and I was going to have to learn how to say goodbye.
And I hated that thought. I needed to get over it, though, because it wouldn’t be good for anyone if I continued down this wallowing path of mine.
There was a knock on my door, and I looked up, my heart thudding. It wasn’t going to be my sister or the paparazzi. I was literally in the cabin, on Bodhi’s property. I was safe. I was safe with him. Except when it came to my heart, but that was of my own making and demise.
I quickly opened the door, and my heart did that twisty thing even as I pressed my thighs together. I was a goner when it came to this man, and that was a problem, but a problem I would deal with later.
He held up his keys, and I blinked.
“I thought you were working.”
“I was. Then Teagan texted me and said you were going to lunch. I figured you needed a ride out there, but you also need a car of your own. Independence. So take mine.”
And if I hadn’t already been in love with Bodhi, I would’ve fallen again right there. How had he known? Why did he know so easily?
I leaned forward, put my hand on his chest, and went to my tiptoes. “Thank you.”
“It’s really no problem, Kiera.”
I kissed the corner of his mouth, and he smiled against my lips before finally kissing me back.
He tasted of coffee, and Bodhi, and I couldn’t help but remember exactly how he had woken me up that morning.
And then how he had licked up my spine in the shower.
My knees still ached, and I knew that I would be sore for weeks when it came to this man.
My pussy and my heart. And wasn’t that something that needed to go on a greeting card?
“Are you sure I can take your truck?”
“As long as you can handle it.”
I smirked, leaned in between us, and gripped his cock. He groaned, shifting slightly. “I think I can handle it.”
“You are temptation.”
“And?” My heart ached.
“And nothing. Be good.”
“What if I don’t want to be good?” I asked, my lips once again playing with a smile.
“Then don’t be good. Just remember that when you get back, I’m going to take all of this frustration out on that pussy of yours.”
I burst out laughing, wondering when this playful side of Bodhi had decided to show up. Yes, he still growled. He still acted as if he wanted to punch the world repeatedly, but he laughed. He made me smile. And that’s what made it so hard. And I knew I would have to leave soon, but not right now.
“Go. Annoy my sister. And make sure she knows that I approve of the annoyance.”
“I’m sure that will make her weep for your approval.”
“Damn straight. It’s what she’s been counting on.” He leaned down, took my lips, and I nearly let the tears fall. What the hell was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I just get over him already?
Oh, right, because he continued to think about me. And continued to make me want. It was hard to hate this man. He kissed me again, and my mind whirled, before he finally took a step back.
“If you don’t go now, I’m not letting you leave. In fact, I just had to set up this rope thing in my studio for another project. We could test it out.”
“Oh no, you don’t. I was promised lunch.”
“Okay then. Be safe. I know that the mayor kicked out everybody who dared threaten the town’s peace, but I still don’t trust anyone else.”
My heart thudded, and I wrapped my arms around his waist without thinking. He paused, his shoulders stiff, before he reached out and cuddled me to him. He ran a hand down my spine again, and I let out a shaky breath. Walking away from this man would break me.
But I knew he couldn’t do long-term. He’d already had his forever. I was a turning point, his crossroads. And I would need to learn to find my solace in that.
“I’ll have Teagan and the others. I know I’m never going to forgive some of this town for what they did to you, but the others? They really do care.”
He didn’t say anything for so long, I was afraid I had done the wrong thing by bringing up the past. But we were drenched in it, and there was no walking away from it.
“They’re good people sometimes.”
He kissed my temple and then cleared his throat before taking a step back.
“I have to drop off something for the deputy mayor later—a piece that he ordered. I’ll have my work truck, but if you need me, let me know. I’ll be near.”
I nodded, oddly holding back another bout of tears as I grabbed my purse, his keys, and walked with him to the truck. He helped me get in, his hands firm on my hips as he lifted me into the cab of the truck. And then, without another word, he gave me an odd look and then closed the door.
It had been a while since I had driven, let alone a truck of this size.
So it took me a few minutes to figure out everything, and nerves still wrecked me as I rode down the winding road to the main street.
Thankfully, there was a large parking lot at the end of the main area, so I could take my time parking, ignoring the odd look a tourist gave me as it took me three times to figure out how to guide this massive truck into the parking lot.
The man seriously needed a smaller car. Then, of course, I wasn’t even sure he would fit.
Lips twitching, I grabbed my bag, looked at my surroundings to ensure that there wasn’t a camera facing me, and made my way to the bakery. When I went in, the place was nearly empty since it was a little bit after lunch, Bronwyn, the new bakery owner, smiled at me.
“Kiera, it’s good to see you out and about.”