Chapter 18
BODHI
“When do you have to be back?” I asked as I bent down to tie my hiking boots.
We were headed toward the trail on the west side of town by the bed and breakfast to get a bit of scenery in and to clear our heads.
Yesterday had been a hard day. Emotionally, physically, and frankly, too much.
We needed to talk about the future, but that wasn’t who I was.
After spending so many years trapped in the past, it was odd to sit here and think about what I was doing and wonder if I would be enough.
I couldn’t ask her to stay. I couldn’t force her to be with me.
Or to give up her life. She was doing amazing things.
Fantastical ones. Her life revolved around being part of the world, and she would be headed back to begin recording their new album, and then to L.A.
to work on the other part of her business.
She and the band needed to set up the tour dates, dress rehearsals, and everything that came with her job.
I vaguely remembered Malcolm having to do similar things.
But he had left the town and our family for good reasons.
Not only had our father killed our mother, but he had taken so much from us physically that Malcolm getting out of Ashford Creek had been the best thing for him.
Even in the short life that he had, I knew that staying in Ashford Creek would’ve ended it sooner.
I would forever be grateful that my brother, my twin, had that time.
While he had been doing that, I had been starting a family, finding a life of my own away from my father.
I had put my foot down and made sure that my children had never had to deal with my father.
Briar had gotten out of town. And the others had left to go to college, but they had all come back to Ashford to make it our own.
We were here, and those of us left weren’t going anywhere.
I couldn’t deal with living anywhere else.
Even with the hatred that had come my way for so long.
I wasn’t sure I could deal with people constantly knowing my every movement outside of this town.
Or being away from the place where my children had taken their first steps, had been born, and died.
Not that we had ever actually discussed me leaving with her.
No, we had done our best not to discuss anything of the sort.
And so now, I was standing here, asking the woman that I loved when she was leaving.
And I needed to figure out if I was going to go with her, or if this was the end of our beginning. Or an end of an end.
“I have to be in the recording studio in two weeks. Which sounds so sudden, and yet I know I’ve been here for what feels like ever.” She leaned forward and brushed her hand through my hair. “I missed the band. I loved being here, though. Well, except for the more exciting things.”
A growl rumbled in my chest at that, and I took her by her hip and pulled her closer to me.
Her eyes widened for an instant before she leaned down and into the kiss.
I would miss this when she left. If I let her leave without me.
What the hell was I thinking? Did I have it in me to travel with her?
To take that leap? I wanted to. I needed to.
I wasn’t sure of what else I was supposed to do.
“I’m sure they’ve missed you too. The fact that they haven’t been here honestly surprises me.”
She smiled at that. “Only because Briar has stepped in and made sure that I have some space. She and your brother-in-law are pretty good at that.”
“Well, I guess my brother-in-law needs to have some redeeming qualities.”
“So I suppose you’re always going to take that route when it comes to your baby sister.”
“Technically, she’s older than me. But somehow, she’s still the baby sister in my eyes.”
“She can practically fit in your pocket,” she said dryly.
“That’s true. And now she’s out there, being a mom, taking over the world right along with you.”
“I’m just going to be good seeing them again, though. And holding your niece. She’s remarkable.”
“Yes. She is.” This time, a smile played on my face. It might have taken me a while to get used to the idea that there were more children in my life, but with each new addition, it was getting a little easier.
“We should head out to the trail before it gets too hot. There’s enough shade over there, and there’s practically zero humidity right now. It’s still going to be warm.”
“I need to stretch a bit.”
We both didn’t talk about the important parts. The fact that we had professed our love to each other and weren’t doing anything about it. That would bring reality far too close to the surface.
I scowled at her words, though, and reached out, sliding my fingers along her jaw right below the bandage.
“Are you sure you’re okay to do this hike?” I asked, my voice soft.
She’d been moving around, acting as if all was well, and yet I still couldn’t help but remember the sound of her scream in my head.
“I’m getting the stitches out soon on my arm. And my face will be just fine. I have bruises, but technically, I didn’t bruise my ribs. That asshole will take much longer to heal than I will.”
I scowled. “Good. About him taking a while to heal. Honestly, I hope he walks with the knife hanging in his side for the rest of his life.”
“That’s what I like about you, Bodhi Ashford. You make sure that you really get in the lifetime of hurt.”
“He deserves it for hurting you.”
“Well, he can’t hurt me again.” She smiled brightly at that, and everything felt right in that moment. “He can’t hurt me again, and he means nothing. So you and I are going to go on this little nature walk-hike thing.”
“It’s really a walk. It’s mostly paved.”
“Which is exactly up to my level at this point.” She sighed. “And then we’ll figure out what I’m going to do. Because I have to go back to the real world.”
“I know you do. I would never ask you to give that up.”
“And I would never ask you to give up your sense of peace here.”
We met each other’s gazes, and neither one of us could say a damn thing.
“So we’ll figure it out. You and me. Somehow.”
“I know we will. We don’t have another option.”
I hadn’t meant to be that way, but perhaps honesty would be the thing that finally got us through.
She kissed the top of my head, leaving a smile on both of our lips, and we headed out to the truck.
“I really think you need a dog,” she said after a moment as we made our way to the bed and breakfast trail.
I blinked. “Seriously? Where did that come from?”
“Just being honest. I think you need a dog.”
“I thought about it, but I like being alone up there.”
“Oh.”
I cursed under my breath. “I mean, I used to like it. I don’t know. Things have changed, and I’m not used to it yet. Can you give me a bit of time?”
“That I can do. I promise.” She giggled softly.
“What?” I pulled into the parking lot, tapping my fingers along the steering wheel.
“We haven’t exactly been alone recently, have we?”
“Other than you in my bed every night, no, I guess we haven’t.”
We each got out of the truck, and we continued to laugh at every single misery we had had in the past week.
Because, of course, I hadn’t been alone.
Callum and Felicity had been there every day.
Thatcher had brought the kids to check in.
Elizabeth had baked for us along with Bronwyn.
Teagan was over every day to annoy me like she always did, but I loved her for it.
Keely had bounced in with Felicity one day, while Rune had shown up with food from the Summit Grill, and then he stomped away after making sure we were all okay.
Finnian and Sterling had shown up with the twins, and it was odd having the kids in my house.
It had been that moment that I had realized I had never had them in there.
Let alone Thatcher’s or Callum’s kids. But every single person in our lives had shown up.
At least the ones that still lived in town.
All to check on Kiera—and nearly too late, I realized for me as well.
It had been Kiera who had changed everything. Kiera, who had changed me.
I loved her. She knew it; I knew it. And her being there had let me open the gates for my family to be there too.
I didn’t want her to leave.
We made our way past the B&B where I knew Keely was baking up a storm and paused as I realized that Elizabeth was standing on the front porch, arms folded over her chest. Atlas towered over her, and I hadn’t even realized he was in town.
The two looked at each other, didn’t say a word, and then Atlas walked away, leaving Elizabeth behind.
When he moved down the path toward us, he looked up at me, his face blanching, and he didn’t say a damn thing.
Instead, his jaw tightened, and he made his way to his truck and barreled out of the parking lot.
I knew he had a game the next day, but I hadn’t known he had been here. How the hell had he found the time? And why was he here?
Kiera squeezed my hand, and I realized that she probably had the same questions.
And as I looked up at a now-empty porch, I realized neither one of us was going to get answers.
And since I was tired of people wondering what the hell was going on in my life when it came to Kiera, I wasn’t about to question those two.
“So, come here often?” Kiera asked, and I let the smile slide over my face, the tension easing.
“No. It’s very people-y.”
Kiera gave a dramatic look in each direction. Zero people around. “I think our definitions of people-y are quite different.”
I tilted my head, studying her face. “Our definitions are very different. You like to sell out stadiums, and I like to be alone in my cabin. It works out well.”
Her lips twitched. “First, your cabin isn’t a cabin. It’s a huge house. Mister I’m a Cabin Mountain Man.”
“Have I ever uttered those words once in my life?”