Chapter 36 #2
He retreated into the room, and I loosed a breath, still mortified.
After ensuring he was gone, I climbed out of the bathing hole and grabbed a folded towel Enzira had left nearby before wrapping it around myself.
My sopping wet hair clung to my body, and I quickly wrung it out so it wouldn’t drip so much.
Already I was shivering, yearning to return to the heat of the springs.
I glanced around the chamber, frowning when I didn’t see my nightgown anywhere. My eyes shifted to the doorway leading to the room.
Ordinarily, Enzira would lay my clothes out on the bed. She likely had done that here as well. I scowled, unsure if the mistake had been innocent, or if Enzira had known I would have to traipse naked through the room with Varius here.
With a deep breath, I lifted my chin and strode into the bedchamber as if I belonged there. I kept my gaze firmly fixed on the bed, noting the lacy, translucent undergarment waiting for me.
Irritation prickled through me. Oh, Enzira had definitely done this on purpose. This was the most scandalous garment I owned. It was about as modest as the red dress I wore to the revel.
A strangled sound came from the desk where Varius was sitting. I didn’t glance at him as I snatched the undergarment and turned back to the bathing chamber.
“You—I—” Varius cleared his throat. “Should I leave again?”
I finally looked at him. He was rubbing the back of his neck, his gaze fixed on the floor. If I didn’t know any better, I would’ve said he was blushing .
I couldn’t help myself. I grinned at him. “Varius, you have seen me in much more revealing clothing than this.” I gestured to the towel around my body.
He coughed. “It was dark at the revel.”
My eyes narrowed. “You have fae sight.”
“I—I simply wasn’t expecting you. Like this.” He waved a hand at me, still not meeting my gaze.
Reminders of how he had taunted me before rose to my thoughts. I smiled and inched toward him, noting the way his body went rigid in his chair.
“I am your wife, you know,” I said. “It wouldn’t be totally inappropriate for me to walk naked through the room.”
His eyes darkened as he glared at me. “We haven’t consummated.”
“That didn’t stop you from pulling me onto your lap and stroking me with your shadows.”
“And you stroked me when we danced . ”
I leaned closer, my face hovering over his. “But you liked it, didn’t you?”
A deep sound rumbled in his throat, like a moan mixed with a growl. He gritted his teeth, his nostrils flaring, and I remembered what he said about scenting arousal.
Could he smell it on me now?
“Are you going to change?” he bit out. “Or will you continue to torment me?”
Quoting his words to me from a few days ago, I said with a laugh, “You make it so easy, dannahla .”
I turned and strode into the bathing chamber. Perhaps I let my towel drop just before I disappeared from view.
Perhaps I heard Varius’s sharp intake of breath as he no doubt saw my exposed backside.
As I slipped on my nightgown, I thought of the scene I had witnessed through the mirror. Had it been real? I had watched Varius give Tislora the vial of my blood. After leaving me, it would make sense for him to have gone straight to the apothecary so Tislora could make the elixir.
What other explanation was there? That scene had to have been real .
Varius had defended me in front of Tislora. He had threatened to kill her for insulting me.
I wasn’t sure how that conversation had ended, but I was achingly curious. Had Tislora submitted? Or had Varius stormed from her chambers, fuming? He hadn’t seemed upset when he’d shown up in the bathing chamber… Then again, finding me asleep in the hot springs might have lightened his mood.
I cringed as I braided my wet hair into a long plait down my back. Stones, I was an embarrassment. I thought of Tislora and her dark and elegant grace. I could see why Varius had been attracted to her.
But me? Compared to the unseelie, I was pale and frail and bland.
I was nothing .
A hollow feeling settled in my chest. Varius might be attracted to me in some way or another. But he could never love me. Too much deception had come between us, and I could hardly compete with someone as stunning as Tislora. He had only defended me out of duty because we were married.
That was all.
Besides, I still had to track down the rose jewel. Now that I knew that grasping the black stone had silenced the ringing, perhaps I could do the same thing with the rose.
And maybe it held the key to ending the Necro Shadows.
But what if destroying the Necro Shadows means Varius dies? If I destroy the source of his magic… could it possibly kill him, too? I couldn’t stop these questions from rising in my thoughts.
I shoved them aside. His shadows were different from the Necro Shadows. Surely, there would be a way to destroy one without the other.
But I knew one thing for certain: however I managed to vanquish the shadows would require me to betray Varius.
Because either I would have to kill him or destroy his magic completely—neither of which would be forgivable.
There could be no future for us at all.
It would be best if I pushed that fantasy from my mind entirely.