Chapter 58
There he stood, still my Varius, but… different.
He was several inches shorter, though still taller than me.
If I stood, I would likely come up to his nose.
His broad frame and muscular figure were the same, but now his skin was a golden brown, perhaps a shade lighter than my chestnut hair.
His curly hair remained jet black, as did his eyes.
A short black beard lined his mouth and chin.
His talons were now blunt fingernails, and his tail and wings were gone.
My jaw dropped as I took him in. He could have been a member of the Earthen Court. He could have been human , were it not for his pointed fae ears.
I drew closer to him, too stunned to speak. He appraised me, his eyes guarded. Vulnerability shone in his gaze.
He was nervous. Did he fear my reaction? Did he think I would despise his new form?
Ironic how, now that he could appear human, he feared this would disgust me.
I found myself laughing, then quickly covered my mouth. He blanched, his face paling.
“Shit, is it bad?” He glanced over himself in worry.
I laughed harder. “No, not at all! I—I just can’t believe it.
You—You look beautiful, Varius. But… I fell in love wi th your unseelie form.
That is the Varius I know.” I closed the distance between us, resting my palms against his chest. His tunic was ripped down the middle, exposing his muscled torso.
I dragged my finger between his two pectorals, then looked up at him with a sly smile.
He was so close . If I tilted my face up, our lips would meet.
Perhaps there were benefits to this form after all. I didn’t have to stand on my tiptoes to reach his face, for one. He sighed with contentment and closed his eyes, bringing his forehead to mine. His warmth, his familiar scent, enveloped me. It felt like… home .
Unseelie or seelie, he was mine . My king. My everything.
“Stones, I love you,” I whispered.
“I love you, too.”
His mouth crashed into mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck, drawing him closer, allowing my fingers to thread through his soft hair.
He groaned, gripping my waist and bringing me flush against him, his hips grinding along mine.
His hands and arms still felt so strong, so sturdy. I felt safe in his grasp.
And he was mine. All mine.
Tislora cleared her throat loudly, and we broke apart. My face was on fire, but Varius was unperturbed as he smirked down at me. His fingers captured a lock of my hair, and he tucked it behind my ear. “We will have plenty of time to explore this new body of mine, dannahla .”
Heat coiled low in my belly from the seductive promise of his words. I caught my lower lip between my teeth, and his eyes tracked the movement.
“For the love of Shade,” Tislora snapped. “Are you two quite finished? Because we have an army to get back to.”
Varius glanced upward, his brows lowering and a muscle feathering in his jaw. All heat fled from my body as I, too, remembered the army that had invaded our home. Was it still there? It was wishful thinking to believe the soldiers would simply turn around now that the Necro Shadows had vanished.
Azure pressed her claws further into the ground and rumbled something low in her throat. I ran to her side, wrapping my arms around her and nuzzling her neck. “I missed you,” I whispered. “And I’m so sorry.”
She moaned something I couldn’t understand. I must have lost my amber necklace in the storm. But I could detect the sorrow in her voice and tightened my embrace.
She knelt, lowering herself so I could climb atop her. I looked at Varius, who faltered, his face full of grief and uncertainty.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
He took a step backward, his face pale as he shook his head. “I can’t—I can’t go back.”
I frowned and slid off Azure’s back. “What are you talking about? Of course you can.”
“Sybelle, I—I killed so many people. My own people.” His voice was full of anguish. His eyes crammed shut, his expression crumpling. “I cannot face them.”
“That’s bullshit, Varius,” Tislora snapped. “You weren’t in control.”
“That doesn’t matter!” he shouted. “A king should protect his people! Not tear them apart. I—I shouldn’t have even been there with them. If I had hidden myself away, then perhaps…”
“Then perhaps those foolish humans would have taken the castle,” Tislora said sharply.
My heart twisted at the devastation on his face. This was not something that could be argued away.
This would haunt Varius for the rest of his life. I was sure of it.
I strode toward him, grateful he was still in his seelie form so I could easily clasp his face between my hands. I forced him to meet my gaze and fixed my most fearsome stare on him.
“You are a king, Varius. For good or ill. And the king I fell in love with did not run from his fears. He faced them head-on.”
His eyes filled with tears, but his gaze stayed locked onto mine.
“You made mistakes,” I went on. “ Terrible mistakes. Nothing you can do will erase what you’ve done.
But you can move forward from this. You can make amends as best you can.
And you can become a better king for your people.
That is what they deserve. Not a king who runs from his problems, but a king who will acknowledge his flaws and beg forgiveness. A king who will change for the better.”
Tears streaked down his face, and he closed his eyes. “Sybelle…”
I drew closer to him, pressing my forehead to his. “It will not be easy. But I will be by your side the whole time. I will help you through it. I swear it.”
A shattered moan poured from his lips, and his arms encircled my waist. His head dropped to my shoulder, his large body shaking with fresh sobs. “So much pain. So much loss.”
I gently lifted his head and wiped the tears from his eyes. My throat knotted with emotion, and I blinked the moisture from my own eyes, determined to keep my composure for his sake. The sight of him like this broke me, but I needed to be strong right now.
For him.
“Let’s make sure that loss was not in vain,” I whispered. “One step at a time, husband. And right now, the first step is to face this army and stop a war. We can focus on the next steps later.”
He inhaled deeply and nodded, drawing back to look me over. He stroked my cheek, his eyes warming despite the tears that still lingered. “How did you become such a mighty and courageous leader? ”
Half my mouth quirked in a smile. “I’ve always been like that. It’s just taken you a long time to see it.”
He huffed a laugh at that, then allowed me to steer him toward Azure, who was still kneeling before us. I climbed on her back, and Varius followed suit. I glanced uncertainly at Tislora, noting her torn wing.
The sorceress rolled her eyes. “My crow’s wings are still intact. I can fly behind you.”
“Or I can heal you, if you prefer,” I offered.
Her eyebrows lifted, and the irritation on her face melted away. “I—well, that would be much appreciated. Thank you… Sybelle.”
I smiled at the usage of my name. Without her, none of this would have been possible. The curse would never have been broken. She had become… an unlikely ally, of sorts. And having her on my side had been an unexpected and pleasant surprise.
We weren’t the closest of friends, but it was certainly a start.
A few minutes later, with Tislora freshly healed and flying behind us, Varius and I rode atop Azure as she flew us back to Agnarr Castle. With her great wings, Tislora managed to keep up easily with Azure’s pace.
I held my breath when we passed the forest, expecting to see the clash of weapons between humans and fae.
Instead, I found the two armies facing off. Shouts and screams echoed below, but… no one was fighting.
Azure circled the crowd, then slammed into the ground next to both armies. Shrieks of alarm filled the square, and I found myself laughing. For so many years, I had been desperate to keep Azure’s identity a secret.
Now, it seemed, it didn’t really matter. In the kingdom of the unseelie, there were all kinds of beasts and creatures. Like me, it just felt as if Azure belonged here.
And it was time for her to make herself known.
I slid off her back and raced toward the road where the armies stood. In front, wearing a massive silver crown and a scowl worthy of our father, stood my sister, Orla. Her face was pale as she took in my dragon, but when her gaze fixed on me, she glared with venom.
“Orla,” I panted when I reached her side. “What is this? Why are you doing this?” I gestured to the fae, then faltered when I realized all of them were in their seelie forms.
No wonder the humans had stopped fighting. When the curse broke and the fae realized they could shift forms, it had probably shocked everyone enough to halt the fighting.
For now.
“They are unseelie!” Orla snarled, jabbing a finger toward the row of fae soldiers in front. “They must die!”
“They are my people ,” I said firmly. “You would kill them all just because of your prejudice?”
“Their shadows have been attacking our people for years,” Orla snapped, then pointed to Varius. “ His shadows!”
“They were not mine,” Varius said, drawing forward. His gaze flicked toward his soldiers, and the barest hint of agony crossed his features.
I slid closer to him and laced my fingers through his, giving his hand an encouraging squeeze.
Varius cleared his throat and continued speaking. “We were cursed, Orla. Your sister has now broken that curse. Don’t you wonder why we are all suddenly able to change forms?” He spread his free hand toward his soldiers.
“It’s a deception!” Orla cried, waving her sword at the people standing behind her. “Do not fall for their tricks! They mean to confuse us so they can slaughter us while we are unawares.”