23. Rae
RAE
Never in my twenty-three years had I ever expected someone to bow to me. So why did it hurt so much that Rhys wasn’t?
I didn’t even know the man. The vampire. The Nocturnae.
He was basically a stranger. Except he wasn’t.
It wasn’t just the tendrils of memory returning, or the knowledge that he had saved my life when I was only eight years old. It was that I could feel it.
I’d felt it from the moment I met both him and Kian—that tugging sensation in my chest. And as I stared harder at Rhys, trying to make sense of his words and my pain, I saw it.
Tiny particles of light, like strands of DNA. They wove through the air between us—and between Kian and me, too. An energy that connected us. Bound us.
“I see it,” I whispered.
Gasps sounded around the room as Lyra moved closer. “What do you mean?” she pressed.
“Little light particles floating between us. But they’re like living, breathing things. Each one is unique.” I could see already that the bonds between Kian and me were brighter, stronger than those between Rhys and me.
That hurt, too. Because some part of me wanted the bond with Rhys to be just as strong. But why? I didn’t know him. Not even if he’d saved my life.
Lyra cupped my cheeks. “Special, indeed. No wonder you are destined for four fated.”
My gut twisted at the reminder. Four.
A flicker of a memory appeared in my mind. Playing in the park with Izzy and catching sight of a woman and two men having a picnic. She’d kissed one and then the other. Each kiss was different but equally full of love.
I let out a shuddered breath. I couldn’t even handle one boyfriend. The idea of having four was comical.
We’d only identified two, but I already knew that one of them hated me. His voice rang in my head. “Because your father killed mine. My little sister, too. He slaughtered them in cold blood with zero provocation.”
Nausea swept through me as I looked from him to Mikel. Was that true? I tried to search through my returned memories, but it was like a mostly un-put-together jigsaw puzzle. I couldn’t recall hearing about such atrocities. But something deep inside me didn’t doubt it either.
My gaze moved back to Rhys, trying to peel back the layers of the mask he had in place. “You’ll never love me either, will you?”
“No.” He spoke the words with the same definitiveness that he had when talking about his family.
An ache bloomed in my chest, and the bond between us flickered. “Because of what I am?”
His jaw worked back and forth. “Because your family cost mine everything. I will protect you, Soraya. But I will never love you. Never trust you.”
You couldn’t have love without trust, and I could see that he was explaining that, softening his own cruel blow. Only it didn’t soften it. It made the pain even worse.
Pressure built behind my eyes. A burning heat. And with it came shame. Because why should I shed a single tear for a man I barely knew? Someone who couldn’t see past my parentage.
Rhys’s shoulders straightened as he cast a terrifying look around the room, coming to stop on his brother. “Make no mistake. If anyone moves against her, I will take it as an attack against me. I will end them before they can even blink. And I will make it painful.”
Violence. That I could have from Rhys. But never tenderness. Never love.
And what a pained realization that was. Our bond would be one of bloodshed and nothing more.
Tears swirled in my eyes. I tried to force them back as embarrassment bloomed. I wanted to go home. Return to my old life. Go back to where I understood the world around me. To where I could retreat among my plants.
Here, I had no one. Not even Pax. I couldn’t bring myself to look at him now. The person I’d thought was my best friend had only been a guard, a jailer. He’d been the person I’d leaned on the most over the past decade, but he’d manufactured interests and commonalities to work his way into my orbit.
We weren’t friends at all.
My breaths started to come faster as the tears fell.
My family? A grandmother who had exiled me for my own so-called protection. An older sister who clearly wanted nothing to do with me. A father who was cruel at best and monstrous at worst. A mother who was paralyzed and did nothing at all. A little sister whose entire life I’d missed.
It wasn’t as if I could lean on any of them.
A kingdom I couldn’t trust. Men I was supposed to love but didn’t remember.
The tears came quicker and quicker. I pressed my hand to my chest as it throbbed, the palm still bleeding. The slice ached, but that pain had nothing on the agony in my heart.
Kian shoved to his feet and crossed the distance between us. I took an instinctive step back, and he halted. “It’s going to be okay,” he promised.
I wanted to believe him, but I couldn’t.
He pulled a small blade from his hip, and I blanched. Then again, maybe it would be easier if he killed me here and now. At least there’d be no more pain, no need for escape.
But instead of slicing my neck, he pricked his finger. A bead of blood appeared there, darker than mine—a deep maroon that bordered on black.
Luminaries around the room let out shocked noises.
Kian ignored them. Shoving the blade back into its sheath, he extended his uninjured hand. “May I have your palm?”
He always asked. Something about that eased a few of my ragged edges. With a shaky breath, I extended my wounded hand.
Kian took it ever so gently. There was heat to him, as if his body temperature ran hotter than mine did.
He met my eyes for a long moment, searching for something, before he focused on my cut. With incredible tenderness, he slid his bloodied finger across my wound.
Sounds of disgust rained around us, coming from every Luminary in the place. Kian didn’t react, and I couldn’t either. I was too transfixed by what was happening before my very eyes.
The pain eased instantly, and my palm started to glow. My flesh knit itself back together like something out of a sci-fi film. “What in the world?”
“This is unholy,” Mikel snarled.
Kyrie bounced on the balls of her feet. “I think it’s cool. He freaking healed her.”
Kian glared at my father. “You would have her suffer when I could help her?”
“I would have her live a life of honor,” Mikel snapped.
Kian shook his head and then lifted my palm to his lips, kissing it softly. “I will always take care of you.”
A zap of electricity shot up my arm and went straight to my chest. My pulse pounded in my neck as I struggled to breathe for a whole different reason. How? How in the world could my body react so strongly to the barest touch?
Heat bloomed between my legs, and Kian’s nostrils flared.
He seemed to struggle for control of his own breathing as he slowly bent and swiped a finger through a few drops of my blood that had fallen to the marble floor.
He straightened and lifted his digit to his lips but stopped just shy. He didn’t look away from me. “Yes?”
My heart hammered against my ribs, even as my body still buzzed. “What will it mean?”
I was starting to learn that, in this world, there was always a deeper meaning to actions.
Kian didn’t seem offended by the question. “It will strengthen me for what lies ahead.”
“You will not,” demanded the Queen. “This is not done.”
Luminaries and Nocturnae alike whispered outside the domed building, shock making a home there.
“What lies ahead?” I whispered.
Kian’s violet eyes swirled, not with sparks but with storm clouds. “Something that will change everything.”
A chill skittered down my spine, but along with it came a rightness. The knowledge that Kian spoke the truth. I wasn’t sure what emboldened me, but I nodded.
He didn’t wait. His lips closed around his finger, sucking the blood from the tip. His eyes closed as a low, rumbling growl emanated from his chest.
My mouth fell open as a breathy pant left my lips. Need pulsed between my thighs, and my nipples pebbled.
What the hell is happening to me?