32. Rae
RAE
My hands skimmed down the gown Lenore had given me, trembling as they tracked over the silky fabric.
A shower, an attempted nap, and forcing down a charcuterie board snack full of foods I did not recognize, and I still felt as out of sorts as I had earlier.
Rhys’s face flashed in my mind. “You shouldn’t be here. ”
The ache in my chest intensified, but I squared my shoulders and studied the image in the mirror.
The backdrop of the room around me was almost too much for me to absorb on its own.
Something about my own face looked almost unfamiliar with that surrounding it.
And that didn’t even take into consideration the dress.
The gown was long-sleeved and floor-length, but it somehow left me feeling incredibly exposed.
The deep teal fabric was gauzy in nature, and the slits added to the fluttery feel.
They also exposed the thigh-high brown boots that had been left for me.
The sleeves billowed around me, and while the top of the dress covered my marks, the corset of the bodice meant my breasts had been shoved sky-high, exposing what felt like a mile of cleavage.
As I looked at myself in the mirror, I barely recognized the reflection.
“Think of it as your armor,” I whispered to the woman in the glass. “Sometimes, the only way out is through.”
I harnessed my father’s words—the father who’d loved and cared for me from the moment I came into his and my mom’s care. They were the parents whose memory I’d hold tight to. They were the ones who’d taught me the important lessons.
I would have to battle my way through, but I’d never stop fighting. My weapons may not be the traditional kind either, though I’d need to ask Kian if he could start teaching me some fighting skills. I had a feeling they’d come in handy.
A knock sounded at my door.
I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Not even a whisper.
“Rae?” Kian called through the door.
Only the worry in his tone spurred my vocal cords into action. “Come in,” I croaked.
The door swung open, and Kian took three long strides into my room, Rhys and Pax quickly following behind. All three scanned the space as though looking for intruders, but when their gazes landed on me, they froze.
Pax looked confused and possibly amused. But Kian and Rhys? Their reactions were altogether different.
Kian took a single step forward before locking himself in place. His breaths came in ragged pants, and he closed his eyes as if in pain.
Rhys, on the other hand, looked like he wanted to rip me limb from limb. “This is going to be a disaster,” he muttered.
“Should I not have worn this?” I asked hesitantly. “Is it not appropriate? It’s what Lenore gave me.”
“Fucking Lenore,” Rhys spat.
Kian forced his eyes open again and took a few breaths before crossing the distance to me. He took my face in his hands. “You’ve done nothing wrong.”
My skin hummed where he touched me, that phantom energy racing through my system and making every nerve ending come alive. “Okay.”
“You look far too tempting for your own good. That’s all,” Kian explained.
“So I should change.”
“No,” Pax interjected. “I think this is smart, actually. It’s a power play.”
I turned to look at my friend. “Armor?”
He grinned. “One hell of a set of armor, Rae.”
Something about our exchange felt like old times. But in a way that made me a little homesick. I shook that feeling off and straightened my shoulders. “Let’s do this.”
Rhys muttered a curse but turned on his heel and stalked out of the room.
“He really is a barrel of laughs,” I muttered.
Pax choked on a laugh, but Kian chuckled outright and then offered me his arm. “Milady, may I accompany you to the feast?”
I tried to smile up at him. “Thank you.”
He was trying. Doing what he could to make me feel comfortable. And he wanted me here. So it made me feel even guiltier that this was the last place I wanted to be.
As we headed out into the hallway, we moved in the opposite direction to the one Pax and I had gone earlier in the day. I caught sight of Rhys waiting, speaking in hushed yet harsh tones with the two guards at the end of the hall.
“They’re always positioned there,” Pax explained. “This wing is for the royals and their courtiers. So it’s an even more secure area.”
“Is, um, Ayden in this wing?” I asked.
Pax’s lips twitched. “Good question. No. He opted for his own wing. He has a very large entourage.”
“You mean he has at least a dozen consorts,” Kian muttered.
“Consorts, as in…” My words trailed off because I wasn’t sure there was a proper term for what I was curious about.
Kian nodded. “It’s not uncommon for royals in both the Nocturnae and the Luminaries.”
I studied him for a long moment. “Do you…?”
“No,” he said quickly. “I prefer my women willing and unbribed.”
Pax let out a scoff without malice. “No woman who knows your identity is exactly coming to your bed unmotivated.”
“Oh, they’re motivated. It’s just by my six-pack and charming-as-hades personality,” Kian shot back.
Heat flared between my legs as I thought about the body that lay beneath Kian’s clothes. Tonight, he wore a long velvet coat with a silk vest beneath that hugged his broad chest and slender waist. While it was perfectly proper, it was also somehow sinful at the same time.
Rhys looked up from his conversation, that invisible mask in place. “The feast has already begun.”
Kian laid a hand over mine. “These can be a little intense.”
“In what way?” I asked, fighting to keep the nerves out of my voice.
“The Nocturnae will be feeding…”
My mouth went dry. “As in drinking blood?”
He nodded. “From each other. And from humans.”
Surprise widened my eyes. “There are humans here? By choice?”
“No one is captive in my kingdom unless they have committed a crime,” Rhys bit out.
“The humans are here willingly,” Pax said, easing the sting of Rhys’s words. “They choose it because they love it.”
“Love what?” I pressed.
“The high of the feed,” Kian explained.
Something about the sultriness of his voice had me pressing my thighs together. “It feels…good?”
His fingers stroked along my forearm. “Incredibly so.”
“Let’s go,” Rhys snapped. “We’re already late.”
“The cheer captain strikes again,” I muttered, making Pax and Kian snicker.
We wound our way through halls and down an elaborate staircase. As we approached the main floor, the sounds of voices and music filled the air. The song wasn’t like anything I’d heard before—some unique blend of ancient and modern with a hypnotizing beat.
Rhys moved to my side, not touching but sticking close. Pax fell back and moved to the side so he could take in any threat that might approach. The fact that he felt he needed to had every muscle in my body tightening.
As we moved through the open double doors and into some sort of formal hall, it took everything in me to hold back my reaction. I didn’t know where to look. Everything shocked and scalded.
Long tables were laden with food. I recognized some, but others looked completely foreign. Ornate goblets were filled with what I first thought was red wine, but then I wondered if it was blood. And that was only the beginning.
Some couples and throuples writhed to the music on a dance floor. Others drank freely from partners, who offered arms or necks. A naked woman lay on one table while another woman drank from her neck, a man sipped from her wrist, and another man’s hand was buried between her thighs.
“Oh gods,” I whispered. The term slipped free as I only vaguely realized that I’d used the version the Nocturnae and Luminaries favored instead of my usual human one.
“If you want to go at any time, just say the word,” Kian assured me.
“No.” I stiffened my spine. “I’m good.”
Such a lie. But I’d force it to be the truth.
We made our way through the crowd toward a table at the head of the room. It was already about half-full, and I didn’t miss the way Ayden’s gaze was locked on me as we walked toward him. It just so happened that he drank from a woman who writhed on his lap at the same time.
My stomach twisted, but I forced myself not to look away. She seemed to be having a grand ole time, so who was I to judge?
As we reached the table, Rhys pulled out a chair for me. I quickly lowered myself into it because I wasn’t sure how steady my legs would be for much longer. Kian took the seat next to me, and Rhys sat on my other side.
Pax pulled out the chair next to Rhys, but before he could sit, Zenia lowered herself into it. She’d changed into a different gown. This one was pure black with gemstones that reminded me of flames accentuating every lace cutout. “Thank you, Paxton. You always were a dear.”
He scowled at her. “And you were always a viper.”
She laughed softly and turned her focus to Rhys. “You’ve missed so much. Tell me what you’d like to be brought up to speed on first.”
I watched out of the corner of my eye as Zenia masterfully pulled the normally stoic Rhys into conversation, talking about things I didn’t have the first clue about. I tried not to let it sting.
Instead, I focused on my surroundings. While there was certainly a fair share of debauchery happening, there were also those simply sipping from goblets or chatting like this was any old dinner party.
“Do these sorts of events happen often?” I asked Kian.
He shrugged as a waiter approached with several bottles. “Whenever there’s something to celebrate.”
“What can I offer you, Your Highness?” the waiter asked.
“Elk?” Kian inquired.
“Of course.” He poured a red substance I knew had to be blood into Kian’s goblet and then waited.
Kian took a sip and nodded. “It’s good.”
I couldn’t help the small, nearly hysterical laugh that escaped me. “It’s like you’re tasting wine at some five-star restaurant.”
He arched a brow at me.
“Sorry. That probably doesn’t make sense, being from Lumaria.”
Kian traced the edge of his glass. “I’ve spent plenty of time in the human realm.”
My brows rose. “You have? Why?”
His violet eyes locked with mine. “I was looking for you.”