44. Rae
RAE
“Die?” I rasped in a high-pitched panic before I doubled over in another racking wave of pain.
Kian sent Nyx a scathing look as I tried to right myself. “Was that necessary?” he snapped.
Nyx shrugged. “It’s the truth. She needs to expel it. No one taught her what to do?”
They both sent Rhys an accusing stare.
“I was just trying to keep her alive. I didn’t have magic lessons on my mind,” Rhys clipped.
Kian pushed to his feet, cradling me in his arms. “I know a little.”
A muscle fluttered in Rhys’s jaw. “You would.”
“Well, be damn glad about it. Because otherwise, your ass would be dead,” Kian snarled.
A fresh wave of pain hit me as I cried out, turning into Kian.
He held me tighter to him, brushing his lips over my hair. “It’s okay. I’m going to help you. We’ll do it together.” He looked at Nyx. “I need a garden. Somewhere with soil.”
Nyx looked confused for a moment, but then jerked his head in a nod, striding toward the door. I barely noticed that Odin fell into step beside him. They even took up the same stride rhythm. The only difference was that the pup kept looking back at me and whining.
Kian whispered sweet nothings to me as he hurried down the vast hallway. It was quiet except for us, the stark, white stone walls and more of those arched windows looking out over the snowscape. But I didn’t have it in me to take in the beauty.
All I could think about was the pain. And my possible imminent death.
If this was what magic had the power to do, I didn’t want it. It was toxic and terrifying.
Maybe I could beg the Fates to take it again. If it was in my blood, could I have a full-body transfusion? Something? Anything but this.
Kian picked up speed as Rhys fell into step beside us. His face was a little blurry, but I thought I could see a furrowed brow and the hard set of his jaw. “Sorry,” I croaked.
“What do you have to be sorry for?” he snapped.
“That I might kill you.”
His jaw worked back and forth. “You’re not going to kill me. And you’re not going to die. That’s an order.”
“Okay,” I whispered. Another streak of pain speared through me like lightning, making me cry out.
“Where in hades is the damn garden?” Rhys bit out.
“Here.” Nyx turned, flipping on lights and illuminating a greenhouse.
No, this was a full-blown conservatory that seemed to go on for miles. Under normal circumstances, I would’ve been focused on nothing but each and every plant and the beauty of it all. But not now. All I could think about now was staying alive.
“Over here,” Nyx ordered. “There are soil beds here.”
Kian carried me in that direction, lowering us both to the floor, still cradling me, keeping me upright with his body as a brace. “I’ve seen your sisters do this a bunch of times,” he explained. “It happens a lot in preadolescence and your teen years, so Kyrie’s been on a tear with it.”
Odin nosed my side, trying to bring comfort. I wanted to pet the dog. Tell him it would be okay. But it most definitely was not.
Rhys crossed to us, Pax following behind. “What does she do?”
“Submerge your hands in the soil,” he instructed, helping me to follow through when my limbs started to shake.
The soil felt cool and calming, a balm to my haywire system. But it didn’t seem like nearly enough to stop whatever was happening to me.
“Keep breathing, Butterfly. I’ve got you,” Kian whispered in my ear.
My eyes burned, and my nose stung. He did, didn’t he? He had from the moment I arrived in Lumaria, and he might have been the only person I fully trusted.
“Feel the waves of power coursing through you?”
I nodded jerkily. “Yes.”
“You’re going to send that into the soil,” Kian explained. “I saw Olympia teaching Kyrie once. She described it like this: You are the ocean, and the soil is the beach. The sand can suck up all that power if you just give it over.”
My heart beat faster, and it was hard to take a full breath. I tried to picture that, sending the buzzing sensation into the soil like a wave. But no matter how much I pictured it, nothing seemed to happen.
Worse, I felt the buzzing growing stronger.
Tears slid down my cheeks. “I can’t. I have too much. It won’t— I can’t get it out.”
“You can,” Rhys barked.
Kian’s lips trailed over my temple. “Breathe with me, Rae. Just breathe.” His hands started on my shoulders and began sliding down my arms. “We’ll do it together.
Feel the wave of energy, of light, and then let it go.
It’s not yours. You are simply its vehicle, its channel.
Because it found a home in you, you are strong enough to carry it. Trust yourself.”
I closed my eyes and breathed, following Kian’s inhales and exhales. I played his words over and over, and when the next surge came, I inhaled with it instead of fighting it. I breathed it in, letting it burn scarring paths through my veins, and then I released.
A loud bang sounded, and soil flew around us. It hit me in the face, but I still didn’t open my eyes. I kept bleeding it all out into the dirt. I let all the light and power free and sent it back into the earth where it was supposed to be.
Then, everything went still.
I could only hear breathing—Kian’s and mine mixing together as I slowly opened my eyes. The lights Nyx had turned on were out now, shattered on the floor. But we had that crescent moon reflecting off all the snow, so I could see. And what I saw had my mouth dropping open.
Every plant in the beds had exploded. Not into tiny pieces, but into giant flowers, vines, and trees. They shot all over the conservatory in vast swaths of pale blooms and silver stems. We were now in a jungle.
A jungle of my making.
Nyx took one shaky step forward and asked the question he had before. But this time, there was wariness in his tone, maybe even a hint of fear.
“What. Are. You?”