50. Rae
RAE
“Again,” Kyrie demanded as she stood in the center of a circle Kian had cleared in the snow. She was turning into a tiny tyrant, and I was about ready to scream.
Instead of doing that, I steeled myself. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath.
“Feel the light around you. Feel it in the earth beneath your feet. Feel it in every living thing,” Kyrie encouraged.
I tried. I really did. I reached for the sensation I’d felt the night before, but there was nothing. Not even a hum. Kyrie had described our power as a wave. She’d said you could feel it cresting through you. Told me that I had to catch the wave to practice.
All I felt was cold. I shivered as I cracked open an eye. “I don’t think it’s working.”
My little sister sighed and bit her lip, kicking at a piece of snow.
Kian moved in behind me, rubbing my arms. “You’ll get it. You just need to find the right approach.”
Another shiver coursed through me, and Rhys muttered a curse. A second later, two massive bonfires erupted on either side of the circle. My gaze snapped to him. “You did that?”
He shrugged. “The witches aren’t the only ones with magic.”
I gazed up at Kian in question.
“It’s our elemental magic,” he explained. “The force we are most strongly tied to.”
“But you can do other things.” I turned in Kian’s hold to face him. “You conjure weapons out of the air.”
“Defense is something all Nocturnae have.” His thumbs rubbed heat back into my limbs. “It’s almost like a basic right.”
A scoff sounded, and I looked over to see Nyx approaching with Odin at his side. “The barest right. There’s a reason we were created with access to only one element, while the Luminaries have all four. They were trying to keep us down.”
My stomach twisted at the reminder of what my so-called people had done to the Nocturnae.
“So sad for them that they didn’t succeed,” Rhys clipped.
“Hey, jackwads,” Kyrie called. “You realize that none of this is helping, right? Making Rae feel guilty for having access to this magic won’t make it any easier for her to tap into.”
She had a point there. And I did feel guilty.
Not that I even knew what I should be feeling guilty about.
Not really. But the fact that the Luminaries had created the Nocturnae as defensemen they didn’t care about was all sorts of wrong.
Add to it that they’d given them less magic in hopes of continued subjugation? That was worse than awful.
As if he could read all my emotions, Odin looked up at Nyx and then trotted toward me. I couldn’t help the smile that teased my lips as I crouched. “Hey, boy.” I scratched at his jowls and behind his ears. Odin’s tongue lashed out, slapping across my cheek and making me let loose a soft laugh.
It felt good to make that kind of sound after so long. I let my fingers sift through his fur, giving him a good scratch.
Kyrie studied me for a moment. “Can you feel the light in him?”
I frowned up at her. “What do you mean?”
“All living things are energized by light.” Kyrie crossed to me, crouching and giving Odin a pet. “Sure, he exists on food, water, and air, but what feeds those things?”
I could see the food piece. The photosynthesis of it all. And light was brought to us by air. Water, not so much. But they were enhanced by one another. I could see what Kyrie was getting at. It was all a dance—but one I couldn’t help thinking was out of balance.
Odin let out a grumble of enjoyment at our attention.
“This is ridiculous. He’s not a pet,” Nyx bit out. “He’s a familiar.”
I scratched under Odin’s chin. “I dunno. I think he’s the goodest boy to ever exist.”
Pax and Kian let out low laughs.
Kyrie pushed to her feet, offering me her hand. “Ready to try again?”
I grimaced but grabbed hold and stood. “Why not?”
I moved into the center of the circle and closed my eyes, then let myself feel the fire burning around me, a form of light. I recognized the snow-packed earth beneath my feet, the breeze tickling my skin, and then I pictured what I was trying to achieve: a ball of light in my palm. Energy.
At first, there was nothing. But I didn’t let it pull me out. I simply kept focusing on all the elements around me. A tiny tickle took root in my fingers. Then, it grew and spread into my palm.
I felt a pop, and my eyes flew open to find a tiny ball of silver energy swirling over my palm. A sense of wonder slid over me as I teased the ball with a finger on my free hand. It zapped me. It wasn’t painful, but it was a sensation.
“You’ll be able to infuse whatever you want into it, depending on what gifts manifest in you.
” Kyrie crossed closer to me, being careful to move slowly.
“All of us can use them as weapons. Some can infuse arrows or blades with the energy. Others can transform it into healing orbs. They can be used to help grow crops or fuel energy banks for an entire home.”
There was so much in what she said. Things that sounded amazing, like healing and clean energy. And things that sounded decidedly less so, like making crops grow or supercharging weapons.
“A ball that small won’t do a damn thing, though,” Rhys muttered.
His words stung, and a second later, the energy ball fizzled out.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Kian demanded. “She’s learning for the first time, and you’re messing with her.”
Rhys’s face contorted into a scowl. “I’m not going to coddle her. Not when my life depends on hers. Pretending this isn’t one giant clusterfuck won’t help anyone.”
My heart hammered against my ribs, the anxiety of everything building. Failing at magic. A fated who hated me. Another who seemed like he couldn’t care less about me. A whole life I couldn’t remember.
“What would help is if you would get the hell out of here,” Kian snarled.
Rhys’s body went rigid. “Want to say that again?” His hand flicked out to the side, and a long, wooden stick appeared out of thin air.
Kian called for a similar staff. “I’d be happy to do a lot more than say it.”
That anxiety built, crashing into me in wave after wave, making it hard to breathe. “Stop it!”
I yelled the words as loudly as I could, letting loose all the pain, hurt, stress, and fear inside me. But when I did, I also loosed something else. Streams of what almost looked like lightning bolts shot into the ground at my sides.
The earth trembled as I unloaded, and snow flew everywhere as the trees and shrubs around us shot sky-high. Panic took over as the bolts kept flying from my hands. But I couldn’t stop it.
Kian cursed, rushing over to me but not getting too close. “You’re okay, Rae. Just breathe. Pull it back.”
“I-I-I can’t.” It was like I had no control over the endless well within me.
“Look at me,” Kian commanded. “Breathe. Just like we’ve done a million times.”
Sweat broke out over my brow with the effort it took, and my body felt like it was burning up. Still, I kept my gaze on Kian and tried.
“It’s not working.” I staggered. My body felt so damn weak.
“It’s too much,” Kyrie said, panic lacing her words. “It’s going to drain her.”
Nyx strode forward, not giving a damn that I was currently a human firework. He got right up in my face and placed his hands on my cheeks. They were ice-cold. He stared straight into my eyes. “I’m going to stop you.”
“Wha—?”
I didn’t even get out the complete word before Nyx pressed a spot on my neck. A second later, darkness claimed me.