Chapter 26
I was on my feet in an instant, all exhaustion fleeing from my body. But Aurelia, her spine rigid and her face drained of color, shook her head sharply at me.
“Let me answer it first,” she whispered.
“Aurelia,” I growled.
She lifted a hand to cut me off. “If he attempts anything, you have my permission to swoop in and defend my honor with the full force of your lethal charm and unstoppable charisma.” Her voice was flat, her tone full of sarcasm, which surprised me. In spite of the situation, my mouth quirked upward slightly, impressed by her delivery of humor.
A fraction of her unease seemed to fade as she met my gaze. Sparks still danced between us, the lingering effects of our heated argument. But the resounding knock sounded again, jolting us both, reminding us that there was a greater danger than our ire for one another.
Aurelia shot me one last warning look before making her way to the door. I ducked behind the door as she opened it, letting the light from the sconces in the hallway filter into the darkened room.
Aurelia stiffened in surprise. “Callan.”
I stood up straighter, my back against the wall, the door mere inches away from me. Callan? I ran a hand down my face. Gods, he is such a fool.
But as I glanced at Aurelia, her light orange hair tumbling down her shoulders in waves, her cheeks filling with color at the sight of her former lover, I could understand how someone would be driven mad at the idea of losing her, of never being able to touch her, or kiss her.
Gods, that kiss… The heat of it still cascaded through my body in a violent rush of awareness. I had kissed many women in my lifetime, but none of those experiences had been as intoxicating as kissing Aurelia.
Which was most unfortunate for me, as her eyes were currently fixed on a different prince. A prince other than me. And the softness in her eyes, the gentle parting of her lips, the creeping blush along her cheeks, told me exactly where her heart lay.
My gut twisted, but I forced myself to focus on their murmured conversation.
“He is unwell,” Callan was saying.
“I don’t understand,” Aurelia said.
“Tyrone. He—He seems quite mad. After what happened tonight, he is not himself. He’s paranoid, making wild, outlandish claims that someone is after him, that someone is trying to take his throne. I’m frightened, Aurelia. I really think you should go to him.”
“I’m not sure what you think I can do for him,” Aurelia said, her voice stiff.
“You were always able to calm him when he wasn’t himself. You have a way of reaching him that no one else does. Please, Aurelia. You have to help.”
Aurelia scoffed. “I will do no such thing. I owe him nothing. And I owe you nothing.”
“No, but you owe this kingdom,” Callan snapped. “You promised them a queen.”
“I did not,” Aurelia argued. “No formal engagement was announced.”
“You promised with your actions. You promised that you would serve them, that you cared for them. If you care for them now, you’ll tend to my brother.”
Aurelia inhaled deeply, her chest rising from the movement. Her fists, balled tightly at her side, began to quiver. At first, I worried it was fear that overcame her. But when she spoke next, I realized it was rage.
“Let me make one thing perfectly clear,” she said through gritted teeth. “My first and only priority is to my kingdom. The Summer Court. Not your brother. Not the Autumn Court. No one else. Do you understand? I don’t give a damn what your brother is going through. He is a beast. A vile monster. And I won’t let him near me again, no matter what he is suffering from. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have had an exhausting day, and I must rest now.”
She moved to close the door, but Callan shoved his boot in the doorway, stopping it. He crowded her, stepping halfway into her room as he loomed over her.
“He is my brother,” he seethed, “and I?—”
In a flash, I shifted, sliding between the door and Aurelia and shoving the prince’s shoulder, causing him to stumble backward in alarm. I forced a laugh. “Oh, sorry about that! You mustn’t linger in doorways like that, or you might get knocked on your ass.” I casually draped my arm over Aurelia’s shoulders. She tensed under my touch but didn’t push me away.
Callan’s eyes flashed as he glanced between us, his nostrils flaring. “The king is unwell. He needs?—”
“It’s not our concern what the king needs. Send for your healers, if you must. We possess no magic to cure any illnesses. Goodbye now.”
“You can’t?—”
I shut the door in his face. Even his obnoxious boots couldn’t stop the force of it. The frame rattled from the impact, and Aurelia skirted away from me like a startled rodent.
I turned toward her, but she raised her hands to stop me. “Don’t—Don’t touch me. Please.”
I froze. Her eyes were wide, her pupils dilated in fear. Her face was drained of color once again, making her appear bone-white.
“Aurelia,” I said softly. “I’m not going to hurt you.”
“I know.” Her voice was sharp and frantic. “Logically, I know this. I know you aren’t Tyrone. You aren’t Callan. But the memories are suffocating now, and all I can think of are those two damned brothers and their damned claims on me and how they think I am just an object to be tossed around, and I… I…” Her voice rose with each word until she was practically screaming at me, her chest heaving as if she couldn’t get enough air into her lungs.
I yearned to close the distance between us, to draw her into my chest and hold her until her breathing evened out. But I couldn’t. Right now, she needed space. A sense of desperate helplessness filled my chest. I had to help her. Somehow.
“What—What can I do?” I asked. “Aurelia, please. Tell me what to do. What is it you need?”
“I need…” She faltered, considering this. “I need to not feel their skin on mine. Everywhere I look is a reminder of them. Both of them. Tyrone violated me, but Callan… He wanted to own me. And I don’t think I realized it until now. He wanted me for himself because I was forbidden. Because he wanted what Tyrone had claimed.” She shook her head, her breathing ragged. “Gods, I just want to be free of this place. I want to forget. I want something else to occupy my mind. Distract me, please. That’s what I need. A distraction.”
On instinct, one eyebrow quirked, and a slow smile spread across my face.
She groaned, throwing her hands in the air. “Not that! Are you daft? I said don’t touch me .”
“I didn’t say anything about touching.”
She frowned. “I don’t understand.”
Though every part of me longed to close the distance between us, I forced myself to lean against the heavy oak door, my arms crossing over my chest. “Darling Aurelia, I can unravel you with my words alone.”
She went perfectly still, her wide eyes fixed on me, a mixture of curiosity and confusion crossing her features. Her hands clasped together in front of her, her fingers toying with the folds of her crimson dress. A nervous chuckle escaped her lips. “I don’t?—”
“Do you know what I would do first, if I were to properly distract you?” I asked.
She wet her lips, and my eyes followed the movement of her tongue. No, it wouldn’t be hard at all to envision how this night would go if things were different—if I were to go about seducing her like I did every other female courtier whose bedchamber I occupied.
I remained silent, waiting for her. My eyebrows lifted.
After a moment, she asked in a strained voice, “Are you really going to do this?”
“Humor me. If it does nothing for you, I’ll stop, and you can crawl into that massive bed—alone—and fight your nightmares for the rest of the night.”
She winced.
“You wanted a distraction,” I reminded her.
She sighed. “Fine.” She waved her hand idly and rolled her eyes. “ Unravel me. ” The doubt in her tone was abundantly clear.
But a strange sense of relief and boldness had swept through me from the knowledge that she didn’t love Callan. It wasn’t his body she yearned for. Besides, her doubt only made me embrace the challenge even more. My grin widened.
“Do you recall how my fingers twisted in your hair when I kissed you?”
Her eyelashes fluttered, but she said nothing.
“Your hair is like silk. So soft and lush. First thing I would do is plunge my hand into those curls and pull the last of those pins free. Let it all loose. You’re most beautiful with your hair wild and untamed around you. Like the feral dragon queen you are.”
Her breath hitched. Her right hand twitched, as if she was about to reach up and touch those tresses I referred to. But she merely blinked at me, her face as stoic as ever.
“Then, I would slide the thin sleeves of your dress down,” I continued, my voice low and sultry. “I would count every single freckle on your shoulders. With my tongue.”
A strangled sound escaped her. She cleared her throat and swallowed hard.
“Next, I would pin you against that armoire.” I gestured to the piece of furniture on the other side of the door. “I would hike up your skirts, exposing those glorious thighs of yours. You would wrap your legs around me and feel how hard I am for you.”
Her eyes closed and a soft sigh escaped her. Her hands began trembling.
“I would run my tongue along your neck, tasting your delicious skin. Then I’d bite down on your shoulder, and you’d cry out my name.”
She wet her lips again. Gods, to see her like this—to imagine what I would do to her—was almost torture.
But it was working. A flush crept into her cheeks, her lips parting as her breathing sharpened .
“I’d tug down on your bodice, sliding it to the side to bear your beautiful breasts to me. And then I would feast on them. Swirl my tongue over your nipples. Close my teeth over them.”
“Burning suns,” she moaned. Her back arched as if she were living in my fantasy right now, beckoning me to taste her. And gods, how I wanted to.
“My hand would run up your thigh,” I continued, my own voice turning raspy from the yearning pulsing through me. “My fingers would reach your slick center. You would be so wet, Aurelia. So ready for me.”
“Fenn,” she groaned. “Gods, I—I?—”
“You what?”
Her eyes flew open, and she suddenly straightened. “Stop.”
I stared at her, my heart pounding an erratic rhythm in my chest. Had I gone too far? Was she too embarrassed to continue?
Or had she simply remembered who I was, and that she would never want to do this with me?
“I—” She broke off, then licked her lips. “I need you to touch me.”
My eyes flared wide. “I beg your pardon?”
“I want to erase his touches. I want to wipe him from my mind, from my memory. I want this ”—she gestured between us—“to take its place.”
I froze, not sure I was hearing her correctly. For a long moment, I said nothing. “Are you sure? Because only moments ago, you told me not to touch you. I just want you to be certain.” My voice was soft and gentle as I tried to assure her it would be fine if we stopped., if we did not do this tonight.
“It will mean nothing,” she said breathlessly. “I just need release. Please, Fenn. Can you do that for me?”
A mixture of disappointment and longing filled me. I didn’t want it to mean nothing. I wanted to continue what we’d started in that ballroom. I wanted to show her all the ways I could worship her body, to show her just how fierce and beautiful a creature she was. To show her that I could be a man who was devoted to her, as she deserved.
But I was not worthy of her. And I never would be. She knew it, and I knew it .
She just needed a distraction. And I was a rake. This was the perfect task for me.
I allowed a feral grin to form on my lips. It was easy to don the mask everyone expected me to wear. But I had grown accustomed to taking off that mask for her. It felt wrong to wear it here and now, almost as if I was trying to deceive her.
But this was what she needed. In this moment, I would give her anything she asked for.
I pushed off the door and strode toward her slowly, giving her plenty of time to back away. Her hands were still trembling, but she held my gaze, her chin lifting, and did not move away from me.
I didn’t stop until her chest was flush against mine, until I could feel the frantic fluttering of her heartbeat. Then, I kept going, walking her backward until she was pressed against the armoire. The doors rattled from the impact, and she gasped.
“Is this what you want?” I murmured.
“Yes.” Her voice was only a breath.
I raised a hand and traced the line of her collarbone with my finger, following the swell of her breasts. My finger slid between them, then jerked the fabric of her dress downward.
“And this?” I asked in a whisper.
“Yes.”
I tugged until her breasts were free. I took a moment to admire them. They heaved with her frantic breathing, and stars above, they were beautiful. Her nipples were already hard. Gods, she was a masterpiece. A smattering of freckles coated each breast, the patterns unique. I wanted to gaze at each one, to count how many there were, to spot the differences between the two. I wanted to study her for hours.
Instead, I bent over, running my tongue along the tip of her breast. Her moan was loud and full of need as she threw her head back against the armoire, her hips grinding against mine. I closed my lips around her nipple. With tongue and teeth, I sucked and nipped, tugging at it. Her hips rolled in silent demand.
“Gods,” she rasped out. “Gods, please .”
I hiked up her skirts, and she obediently wrapped her legs around my middle, pressing directly against my arousal. It felt ready to burst from my trousers. I wanted so desperately to bury myself inside her, to pound into her until she screamed.
But tonight was for her. Only her.
While I feasted on one breast, I cupped the other in my hand, gently squeezing, then rolling the nipple between my fingers. All the while, Aurelia writhed under me, her body quivering with anticipation. The frantic pace of her breathing only spurred me on, making me harder.
“Please,” she gasped. “Fenn, please.”
“Please what?” I murmured against her breast.
She groaned, muttering a string of expletives. She knew I was teasing her. I grinned as I continued licking her bosom.
“I need you inside me,” she said, her voice hoarse. “ Please .”
“Well, since you said please …”
“You are an ass.”
I chuckled, bringing my face up to claim her mouth with mine once more. My tongue collided with hers, and then I drew back just a fraction to lick each of her lips, the lightest of touches. She uttered a sound that was a half gasp, half moan.
My hand sifted through the many layers of her impossible skirt until I found her thigh. I dragged a finger up the inside of her leg. When I reached the moisture collecting between her legs, I hummed in satisfaction.
“Darling, you are positively dripping for me.” I leaned in, pressing my mouth to the hollow of her throat.
“Fenn—”
I slid my finger inside her, and she cut off with a gasping wheeze, her hips bucking. I withdrew my finger, my mouth still against her neck, and whispered, “Is that what you want?”
“Yes. Yes. ”
My finger returned to her center, drawing circles around it. She sucked in a sharp inhale with each movement. I slid a finger inside, then another, pumping and thrusting. She moaned, louder and louder, her eyes closing and her brows drawing together as the tension built inside her. When my fingers curled inward, brushing against her inner walls, she let out a desperate whimper.
She blindly reached for me, hands groping until they found my waistcoat. She fumbled with my buttons, but I used my free hand to grab her wrists and pin them above her head, pressing them into the armoire.
My mouth found her ear as I murmured, “Not tonight, little firebird. Tonight is only for you.”
Her eyes were half crazed as she opened them to gaze at me, her lips parted and deliciously swollen from our kissing. My fingers continued to explore her center, driving into her with more force. Her eyes closed again, her mouth falling open. She thrashed, her body lurching as she rode my hand, whispering, “Oh, yes. Yes. ”
My fingers were slick with her moisture, but I kept pumping them into her, deeper and deeper. When I inserted a third finger, she cried out, the tendons of her neck straining as she jerked. I felt her insides spasm around my fingers, and I curled them inward again, allowing any fingernails to brush those inner walls once more.
A hoarse cry burst from her as she found her release, her hips rolling against mine, driving me near to madness. The tension coiling inside me was so tightly wound, so close to the edge… Gods, my pulse was pounding, my head throbbing as every ounce of me quaked with need.
“Fenn. Fenn. ” She whispered my name like a prayer, her face covered with a sheen of sweat. I almost came at the sound of my name on her lips.
For a moment, we were both quiet, my body still pinning hers to the armoire as our breaths slowed. Nothing but our gasps punctuated the silence. I removed my hand from inside her, my fingers slick, and let her legs slide down to the floor. She wilted in my arms, her head leaning against the door of the armoire. I held her there, keeping her upright with my chest. Her eyes closed, a look of satisfied exhaustion on her face.
Somehow, I managed to carry her to the bed and loosen her corset strings. She buried her face in the pillows, oblivious to my movements as I deftly removed her petticoat and slid it off the bed. I turned, intent on relieving myself in the bathing chamber, but Aurelia caught my hand in hers.
I blinked, startled. I had thought she was asleep. And the way she was curled on the mattress, her hair sprawled around her, her eyes tired, I could tell she was halfway there .
“Stay with me,” she whispered.
I swallowed hard. “I’m not leaving. I’ll be just over there on the sofa.”
She shook her head. “No. Right here. Next to me. Please, Fenn.”
There was that plea again, and damn if it didn’t break down all my barriers. Not that there was anything left after what I’d done to her tonight—what she’d done to me .
“I just—I need to—” I cleared my throat. “All right. Let me change first, and I’ll come back and sleep here. I promise.”
She nodded, her eyes closing again. I extricated myself, fulfilling my needs in the bathing chamber as I thought of her and her perfect breasts. It didn’t take long; I was already there.
But even after I’d finished, my body ached for hers. It wasn’t the same. I yearned to be inside her, to come as our bodies intertwined. Not like this, alone as I fantasized of a woman who could never be mine.
But there was nothing to be done. Tomorrow would be different. Tomorrow, we would go back to loathing one another. I would become the careless rake, and she the stubborn princess who wanted nothing to do with me.
I removed my waistcoat, vest, and ascot until I was only in my shirtsleeves and trousers. When I returned, to my surprise, Aurelia’s eyes opened and fixed on me. Relief crossed her sleepy features. “You returned.”
“I said I would.” I slid into bed alongside her, then paused. “Is this all right?”
She wriggled closer to me, nuzzling her nose into my neck. Gods, she smelled incredible. Like jasmine and embers, and the hint of that heady smell after a rainstorm. My arm came around her, drawing her closer to me as I reveled in the warm curves of her body pressed against mine.
Yes, tonight we both had a lapse in judgment. We would succumb to this weakness only once. Tomorrow, things would return to normal.
It was a lie, of course. But my exhausted brain accepted this as I slowly drifted off to sleep.