Chapter 40
The world seemed to stop from the force of those words.
I am utterly and hopelessly in love with her.
Gods above. Fenn couldn’t lie.
He… was in love with me.
The Midnight Prince was in love with me.
My heart seized with violent intensity as I tried to find a reason, an explanation for this lie. Because surely it was only part of our ruse. Surely he couldn’t mean?—
“Blazing stars, Fennick, you cannot be serious!” Queen Sonara bellowed, her voice ringing in the throne room. She stood from her perch, her magnificent gown sweeping behind her like a cape as she strode down the steps of the dais toward her son. “You are confused. You are wearied and wounded from your ordeal. I must insist you rest and put your mind at ease. There is no need for you to make such rash declarations when you are not of sound mind.”
“I am of sound mind,” Fenn said, his emerald eyes burning as he stared his mother down. I willed him to look my way so I could read his expression to determine if he was being earnest or not. But his gaze on the queen never once faltered. “I am in love with her. She is strong and bold and the perfect candidate for our next queen. She will defend us to the very end. There is no one in the entire Realm of Valora that I would rather marry.”
My chest tightened, and a roaring sound filled my ears. Burning suns, I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t even process this declaration.
Oh gods. What was Fenn doing? He was about to ruin everything .
This was no longer a bargain for him. He had just announced that he wanted to marry me. It was a lie neither of us could have told during our ruse because it was not the truth.
Except… that had changed.
And worse—I could not reciprocate his words. I could not say, Yes, I love Fenn, too, and we will marry as two heart-struck lovers should! I could not say those words, as much as I longed to be able to, because I didn’t know what I felt. I had feelings for him, yes, but I hadn’t been able to examine them, to see how deeply they ran. I was so consumed by fear of my strange powers and concern for my family and my kingdom that I hadn’t had the time to inspect my feelings for the prince.
It certainly wasn’t love. It couldn’t be. Could it?
My throat thickened, and I struggled to take my next breath, to remain composed. My mask cracked and faltered under the strain of this turn of events. I had to keep my royal persona in place. I could not crumble, not in front of the queen.
I stared at the reflection of the moon that gleamed on the marble floors, losing myself in the way the pearly glow illuminated that particular spot, the way the shadows parted around that sliver of light. As I kept my gaze pinned on this one section of the floor, I counted in my head to ten, ever so slowly, inhaling deeply and exhaling steadily.
I repeated this twice until my pulse evened out, until I could force myself to look at Fenn and the queen without losing my mind.
Fenn was speaking, and it took all my restraint not to grab him by the shoulders and shake him, to demand what the hell he was doing right now. Instead, I plastered a look of calm interest on my face and focused on his words.
“…you would not have me watch the woman I love marry another, would you? Would you deprive me of a happy marriage?”
“You were never intended to marry happily,” the queen argued. “You knew from the beginning that your marriage would be an arrangement for the good of the kingdom.”
“And it is. Can you not see the good that will come of this? We need dragons. And Aurelia?—”
“Aurelia has not provided proof of the dragons she will give us.” Queen Sonara fixed her steely gaze on me, her eyebrows lowering in accusation.
“Mother, she swore a blood bargain,” Fenn objected.
“I do not care!” the queen shouted. “You are my son . This is my kingdom. And I am not taking chances on this girl and her duplicitous family, not after our history. I am sorry, Fennick, but I?—”
“What if I could give you proof?” I asked, the words bursting from my lips before I could think better of it.
Fenn went perfectly still, his gaze flicking to me at last. I tried to decipher the emotions in his eyes, but his own mask was in place, cutting me off.
The queen’s eyes narrowed. “I am listening.”
I stepped forward, encouraged by this response. “A dragon came here with me. A show of good faith, as you would put it. What if we could use his Dragonfire to resume your Nightfire fete tonight? It would be a sign to the people that this union can bring joy, that together, Fenn and I can make the kingdom safe.”
Queen Sonara’s eyes glittered with a savage hunger that made my stomach roil. In a flash, the look was gone, replaced by an expression of cold disinterest. But I couldn’t shake that look from my mind, the look of a smiling predator closing in on its prey… It was so unlike the warm gaze I was accustomed to from her son.
“You brought a dragon here with you?” Her voice was low and intense. I had the distinct impression that I was in danger. The hairs on my arms stood up from the lethal edge to her voice.
I swallowed hard. “He will only come when I call him. As you can imagine, he does not feel comfortable in this land.”
“Aurelia,” Fenn said quietly, his voice pained, but I ignored him.
“Is that proof enough for you?” I asked the queen. “I am earnest with my intentions with Fenn. I wish to bring safety and prosperity to your people and mine. Let me prove that to you tonight. Send a decree to your people that they shall prepare for a fete tonight. Let Fenn and me introduce ourselves as a couple to be wed, to end this centuries-long feud between our kingdoms. Let tonight be a time for joy amidst all the trials your people have faced.”
Fenn’s head reared back, his eyebrows lifting as he gave me an impressed smirk. I couldn’t resist smiling back at him, though it was weak; I was still wracked with guilt and confusion over his confession.
Queen Sonara lifted her chin, her eyes calculating as she looked me over. I held my ground, meeting her gaze head-on, refusing to back down from my claims or from her scrutiny.
At long last, she said, “Very well,” and I released a heavy breath. “But understand that I will be watching very closely, princess. If you double-cross the Court of Midnight, we will show you no mercy.”
I forced a bland smile. “I would expect nothing less, Your Highness.”
The queen left the throne room after that, claiming she had a dozen tasks to see to if we were to host the fete tonight. In a blur of motion, she exited the throne room, and suddenly, Fenn and I were alone. The doors remained open, however, and I was painfully aware of the guards who stood outside the doors.
My skin felt itchy and far too tight. I resisted the urge to fidget and squirm, but I couldn’t bring myself to look at him, either. I was afraid of what I might see. Or perhaps I was afraid of what I wouldn’t see.
I wasn’t certain what terrified me more—the notion that he did love me, or the possibility that it was all an act, that he would laugh and give me that signature smirk, his eyes full of mirth as he said, I can’t believe she fell for it!
“Aurelia,” he murmured.
My eyes closed, and in that moment, I knew. I knew he spoke the truth.
He drew closer to me, his warm hand at my elbow, and gods help me, but I wanted to lean into his touch, to envelop myself in his scent, in the strength of his arms.
But I didn’t. I couldn’t . I didn’t know what it was I felt for him.
But he did. He loved me.
And this changed everything.
“I cannot believe you said those things,” I whispered, opening my eyes to peer up at him. His gaze shone with unrestrained desire. Gods, it was so intense and pure. I had never seen anything written so plainly on his face. The adoration, the longing, the despair, the truth.
It made my chest ache.
“This changes nothing,” Fenn murmured, trailing his fingers up my arm. I suppressed a shiver of pleasure from the lightness of his touch. “Our bargain is still intact, and I fully intend for us to part ways after this is all over. I have no interest in holding you to something you did not promise. You will be free from me, Aurelia.”
I shook my head, my eyes welling with tears. “You can’t say those things and then say you will release me. You can’t make me the villain who steals your heart and then shatters it, leaving you to sweep up the pieces alone.”
Fenn exhaled a sharp laugh. “I think you have mistaken me for a weak, fragile thing. I will be fine , Aurelia. I—I may have feelings for you. But I uttered those words only to convince my mother. Nothing more. Not to beg for your love or to persuade you to marry me.”
“Fenn—”
He drew closer, clasping my hands in both of his. I gazed up at him, a single tear streaking down my cheek.
“Don’t,” he breathed, catching the tear with his thumb and sweeping it away. “Don’t cry for me, little firebird. Once my people see the fete and the Dragonfire that will protect them, all will be well. But I think… I think it would be best if you left immediately after the fete.”
My stomach dropped. “What? Why?”
“You have been away from your court for too long, and we can’t visit the Court of Twilight to seek answers about the Dream Mage. If she is as powerful as the hunter says, then your people are in danger. After the fete, I will get you your supply of stardust, and you can be on your way.”
Alarm pulsed through me. He couldn’t be serious. “Fenn, I can’t just leave! We are putting everything into this ruse. If I vanish like a thief in the night, everyone will know it was a sham. And they will be livid when I take Mal with me. He was supposed to be a show of good faith.”
“I will smooth things over,” he assured me, though I sensed the uncertainty in his tone. I had met his mother; she did not seem like the forgiving type. I wouldn’t be surprised if she waged war immediately after my departure.
Fenn seemed to read the doubt on my face. “Aurelia, it will be fine. I swear it. Don’t worry about my court. Your people need you. Once you’ve broken the curse, we can mend things here. But we can’t risk leaving your palace undefended for much longer. You know this.”
My throat tightened. As much as I wanted to insist on staying, on helping Fenn with his own court issues, I knew he was right. Kade, our biggest dragon, would need to return to her hibernation soon, and with Mal here, the palace would be practically defenseless.
I looked up at Fenn, at the somber certainty in his eyes. Was he insisting I leave because of my people? Or because he couldn’t bear to keep up our pretense any longer, knowing I did not return his feelings?
“When our engagement dissolves, I will assure them our alliance remains intact, and they will know we can keep them safe,” he went on. “ That is what matters. Our people. The safety of our kingdoms. Not my silly feelings. Do not worry for me, Aurelia.”
I swallowed thickly and nodded, though I did not believe it. How could I part ways from him, knowing what I knew? How could he do that to me? How could he put that burden on my shoulders?
To my surprise, Fenn chuckled. “Well, this won’t do. Should I return to my flippant and dastardly persona? Would it be more suitable if I went to a brothel to secure a bedmate for the night, per my usual standards?”
“No,” I said, my voice far sharper than I intended. Fenn’s eyebrows lifted, and my stomach churned with a foreign anxiety. I didn’t know why I said that. But the idea of Fenn sharing someone else’s bed filled me with rage.
Before I could scrutinize this emotion further, I cleared my throat and said, “Tell me how I can help prepare for the fete tonight.”
Fenn smiled, linking my arm with his as we strode from the throne room. “I’d be delighted to.”