Chapter 11
I’ll Take It
The thing about dreams is you always wake up. Good or bad. Sweet dreams or night terrors. You always wake up. I was in the middle of a sweet dream for twenty years… then I woke up.
For a minute when I wake up, I think I’m back in my small apartment with Rhys when he was simply a businessman and I was just a shop girl. My heart feels light and I’m happy.
And then Leo’s soft “Merow” echoes throughout the quiet room and the illusion all comes crashing down around me.
I feel Rhys’s corded arm tighten around my waist as he feels the change in my body. “I know you’re awake now, hen.”
I try to keep my breathing even and my eyes closed even though I know it won’t work. I feel a staccato beat pick up in my temple as the events of last night flash behind my eyes. I wonder if Rhys would notice if I put the pillow over my head and pretend I was never here.
His soft chuckle sounds as his chest rumbles behind me. “You can ignore me, but we both know you can’t ignore your sweet lad,” he says. “Besides, we have the wedding of the century to plan today.”
“You can’t be serious?” I snap as I sit up and clutch the sheets to my bare chest.
“There she is,” he replies and the sides of his eyes crinkle.
“Don’t smile at me like this is all grand fun.”
“You’re always fun, hen, and of course I’m serious about a wedding. It’s the only thing keeping us safe right now.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I ask as my heart beats as fast as the pounding in my brain.
He looks up at me from where his fingers tease the edge of the sheet that I’m still clutching. “Are you in or out, hen?”
“Does it even matter?” I snap. “You’ve already decided we’re getting married.”
“Aye,” he says cooly. “It does matter and you’re right, we’re getting married no matter what because you’re mine and I plan to keep ye. But whether or not you know my secrets and the details of how I protect what’s mine are not your concern unless you’re decidedly in.”
“This again? Can’t we just let it go? This is my life you’re playing with, and I have a right to know.”
“That is where you are wrong, hen,” he says before throwing back the covers and swinging his legs out of bed. Even as frustrated as I am with him, with the turn of events my life has taken, with everything, I still watch as Rhys struts his naked ass through the bedroom to the bathroom.
I stay still with the sheets clutched to my breast even when I hear the water flip on in the shower. Part of me wants to go in there and watch him, another part wants to join him and table our argument for more delicious past times, but the rest of me is still too mad.
This man has taken away all of my choices and tied me to him in as many ways as he could.
He says he’s marrying me no matter what, not only for my safety but because he wants to, because I’m his, but he won’t tell me why this makes me safer when from everything I’ve seen so far.
Staying here and marrying Rhys makes me the least safe I’ve ever been and I once begged to go on a plane that eventually crashed, killing all those onboard.
“Argh!” I growl and flop back to the bed, pulling the covers up to my neck and holding the pillow over my head. I want to close my eyes and scream but what good will it do me?
I still have no answers when the water turns off and I hear Rhys strut from the bathroom, through the bedroom and into the large closet where his clothes have been happily cohabitating with mine.
Not that these are my clothes, these are the designer threads that Maeve procured for me, not the jeans, torn at the knee, and my favorite sweatshirt from college.
Those have been missing since she unpacked for me again after I returned from the hospital.
I hear him pad back into the bedroom and I try to wait him out, pretending to have fallen back asleep. I just have to stay still a little longer and then he’ll leave me alone and I can find somewhere to hide for the rest of the day.
He’s decided that we’re getting married.
Well, that doesn’t mean I have to plan it. Besides, my father’s brother is still here somewhere, and I’d like to be anywhere but where he is. Especially after finding out he’s thick as thieves with the queen. I don’t want to be anywhere where those two are.
I’m so lost in my thoughts, my plans to avoid the trainwreck that has become my life, that I forget Rhys is still in the room, that is until he speaks and scares the crap out of me.
“You know how I know that you’re not asleep?” he asks, and I jump, letting out a little squeak. “Besides that.” He laughs.
“No,” I mutter from under the pillow. He pulls it from my grasp, where I was still holding it over my head, and tosses it onto the floor. I just glare at him without saying anything else. I’m unhappy and he should know it.
“One”—he ticks off on his fingers—“you never sleep like that and two, you were muttering to yourself.”
“I was not!”
“You were.” He laughs. “And hiding won’t work. You’ll have to face them eventually, just take Leo with you and I don’t mean the orange fluffy one.”
“The idea still holds merit,” I say under my breath.
“You know you could never hide from me,” he says, tracing his fingers down my back. “Besides, I’ll always find you even if you try.”
“I could do better the next time.”
“No, you will no’ and that’s no’ fucking funny,” he snarls, making his brogue more pronounced. “I expect you in my office in an hour to begin planning this wedding. I will come and find you if you’re not there in t-minus fifty-eight minutes and if I do, you’re not going to like what happens.”
“And what’s that?” I ask, sounding more like a brat than I want to.
“Trust me when I say that you will no’ like it when you find out.”
“I’m not sure I trust you now,” I snap, regretting my words when I see him flinch. I hate this. I hate that we seem to be constantly hurting each other and I don’t know how to make it stop.
“I’ll see you soon, hen,” he says before standing from the side of the bed and walking out the door. I do nothing but watch him leave and fight the feeling that I should cry.
He was right about one thing; I don’t want to find out what happens when I disobey him on this.
Not after last night’s punishment. And darn it if I don’t hate the way he’s pushed me back into the timid mouse of a girl I used to be.
At least back then I lived in my blissful na?veté.
Now that the rose colored glasses are off, there’s no putting them back on.
This isn’t the man who caught me when I fell off a ladder and then continued to sweep me off my feet…
But could he still be the man I fell in love with?
Can we be a team? Or am I just another pawn like everyone else?
Truthfully, there’s only one way to find out and I’m not sure that I’m ready to become the woman who takes the world by storm.
But I can get up and get dressed, and I can go meet with Rhys and his team and begin to learn what all will go into the wedding of a king.
With a heavy sigh, I throw back the covers and head to the shower, flipping on the taps.
I don’t linger in the punishing spray for long because I could easily get in there and spiral.
Instead, I wash my hair, I wash my body, and I try my best to rinse this morning’s fight down the drain with the suds.
Rhys gave me less than an hour to get ready, and I’m not looking to have this be the hill I choose to die on with him.
If I’m going to survive any kind of marriage to a man like Rhys, to a powerful king, I’m going to have to learn to pick my battles and to negotiate with him for what I want.
I’m willing to live with that, so I dry my hair and brush it into loose waves that fall around my shoulders and I dust a little soft peach blush onto my cheeks while I do my makeup.
Then I step into the closet and pull on my clothes, panties, a bra, and pantyhose, before slipping a hunter green sheath dress with cap sleeves and a neckline that reaches my collarbone.
It’s conservative in what it covers, but the way that it fits my body is anything but.
I slip on my emerald engagement ring and prepare for battle.
With my nude patent leather heels in my hand, I push out the door of my suite and see Leo waiting for me. “Good morning, Your Grace,” he says. “The King is expecting you.”
“I know,” I reply as I pull on my heels and head down the hallway, through the residence toward the official offices of the king. I knock on his door just as I run out of time.
“Come in,” he calls out and I push through the door.
“I believe you were expecting me.”
Rhys eyes the clock dramatically making me shudder as his eyes snap back to meet mine. “You’re late, hen.”
“No, I was at the door on time,” I reply with a sweet smile painted on my face. It’s fake but so is most of my life these days, not to mention all the people around me. I’m just learning to swim with the sharks that are always circling.
“Really?”
“Yes, it’s rude to just barge in. I was waiting.”
He looks to Leo for confirmation, and I swear I see red.
Leo just nods that we were on time but barely.
Not that I’m willing to admit that. Apparently, it is a hill I’m willing to die on today.
But the fact that he won’t take my word for it is infuriating.
I’m not the one who’s proved to be untrustworthy, I’m the one who is always what they seem.
“Do not look to him for the veracity of my admissions,” I bite out. “I’m not the one who presents themself as something other than what they seem.”
The mood in the room immediately plummets and if I could reel the words back into my mouth and make them unspoken again, I would without thinking. Although, speaking before thinking is what just got me into whatever is about to befall me.
“Everyone out,” Rhys snarls and we all turn and head for the door. “Not. You.”